Mayhem: Discreet (Cartel of Sinners #2)

Sierra

E very time I think I’ve rebuilt this invisible wall around my mind and blackened heart, Julian pops back in with a hammer ready to destroy all the work I’ve attempted to rebuild. I was moments away from killing the bartender for even thinking about giving him her number. The jealousy was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. There’s this sense of possession I feel over him, like he’s mine.

Just being close to him blurs every line I mentally put in place, the lust that yields over my body each time is undeniable, so when I came back to my room, of course I was wet and needy. What I didn’t expect was him coming into my room and saying what he said. I didn’t focus on how he barged into the room. Wanting him is wrong and yet my heart flutters at his words. Then instead of just fucking and disappearing after he got what he wanted, the asshole took care of me. He set up a bath for me and helped me in it while he washed my body and hair.

The act itself was intimate, the silent tension of the unknown filled the room the entire time and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. I hated every second of it and loved it at the same time. Once I was done, I had to force him to leave with the only excuse I could blurt out that I had to get ready.

When in reality, I’ve been standing in front of the mirror staring at the reflection wondering who in the fuck this girl is. The girl staring at me has the flush on her skin from both the hot water or the hot as sin sex, her hair is wet with the water slowly dripping onto the floor, she has small bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep, and her eyes shine with a look of mischief and belonging.

The robe I put on feels heavy on my body, as though it carries all my worries. Shaking my head I turn, and walk back towards the bedroom. Grabbing the dress from the closet, and I slowly remove the robe from my body, allowing the cotton fabric to fall to the floor. Then, with a swift push of my feet, I move it so it’s not in the way when I pull the teal dress up my body and through each arm. The beautiful satin dress is teal with a corset around the waistline, bringing my breasts up with an off-shoulder neckline and draped sleeves. It’s a midi skirt with a very high slit on my right leg.

Catalina wanted us to wear the same color as the bridesmaids’ dress for tonight so when I found this in the little boutique by my bar, I knew I had to get it. I pick up the robe from the floor and put it over the dress. Walking back to the bathroom I take the make-up from the counter and put on very little foundation and mascara. It takes me about an hour to dry and curl my hair after that, so as soon as I finish, I look up at my reflection once more, and with one last exhale, I gather up every little emotion I’m feeling and stuff it inside a box and carefully toss it behind the brick wall I’ve tried to rebuild.

I grab my purse and get my bag together for tonight’s adventure out of town. Marcus Santiago, a man of God from Cornell is waiting for me. That itch to kill some fucker tonight came back three times as bad. My fingers twitch as I continue stuffing my bag of everything I'll need for my after-hours activity and so I can go home after.

Leaving my bag, I walk towards the door mentally preparing myself for tonight. I don’t want to deal with people but I also don’t have much of a choice. I need to be there for my best friend. She deserves this happiness after growing up isolated and in some little cage. I take another deep breath as I reach the elevator, pushing the button to take me to the social event of the year.

The moment I walk into the lavish room, I can feel the burning gaze of none other than Julian Dominguez. I continue walking forward looking at every table with their beautiful table tops, table cloths, even the plates and silverware look like they just came out of the Queen's personal collection. Glancing around at the table numbers, I pass by a few before I find the number one. I contemplate sitting down and having a drink before I do what I’ve planned to do.

“Hey.” The smooth voice pulls me from staring at the number.

I look up to see a handsome man, his hazel eyes shine in a way that matches the pearly white smile on his face. He’s dressed in black suit pants and a white button up shirt like a proper gentleman here for a wedding.

“Um… Hi,” I say softly, not sure what sort of reaction my body will have at his current proximity, his eyes roam my body stopping at the marks on my neck that I very carefully tried to hide. I lift my hand, carefully playing with the strands as though I’m nervous, when in reality I’m fixing the evidence of being claimed.

“I just had to come over here to say hi. You’re stunning. My name is Asher.” He extends his hand, waiting for me to shake his. My body practically cowers in the way he moves his hand in front of me. He slowly closes his hands and pulls his arm away; a small blush appears on his cheek as though he’s embarrassed that I didn’t greet him the way he wanted.

“I’m sorry, germaphobe,” I say softly, giving him a smile that he can hopefully accept.

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.” Bringing his hand up behind his neck, he rubs by his ear and chuckles.

“I really just wanted to tell you you’re beautiful.”

“You mentioned that already.” I laugh. The pink on his face turns a little brighter when he laughs along with me.

“Right. Would you like a drink?”

“Actually, yeah.”

He nods towards the beautiful bar; the Mahogany dark wood gives it a chic antique look especially with the flowers and beautiful lights decorating the ceiling.

“Mu?eca,” Julian grits out, inserting himself between me and Asher, his jaw clenches and I can tell he doesn’t like seeing me entertaining another man.

“Demon, if you don’t mind. Asher and I are quite busy,” I say with an extra perky tone just to push his button.

Julian turns, glaring at Asher like he’s killing him a million ways in his head. Asher is definitely a little younger than both of us. And yet they both hold their composure the way any rich man would.

“Um, hey. I’m Asher,” he says, clearing his throat clearly intimidated by the fuming Julian.

“Julian Dominguez,” the name causes Asher to back away very slowly like he knew just who the Dominguez family is.

“Um, I have to… go,” Asher whispers, looking at me one last time apologetically and disappearing into the crowd.

“You asshole. You didn’t have to scare the kid.” I glower, already frustrated for being here, for the emotions that seem to be washing over me, for having to deal with people when I can barely stand to be touched. Shoving my shoulder into his I walk towards table one once more and take a seat next to Mika.

Minutes turn to hours as Mika and I laugh amongst ourselves at the sea of drunken people. “I love you guys so much,” Catalina says walking up behind us and putting her arms around both my shoulder and Mika’s.

“We love you too,” we say in unison.

“Seriously, I wouldn’t be here without you guys. I just,” she sniffles, “I just love you and I truly hope you find a love that will shake the world to the ground.”

“Don’t keep your hopes up, babe,” I chuckle, laughing at her words. Her eyes shine with hope and I don’t have it in me to tell her that it probably won’t happen for me. That her brother is the only one to fuel my dead heart in a way that I don’t quite understand. Would she hate me? Especially knowing that I kill people, too.

“Let’s dance, Mrs. Giordano,” Enzo says, coming up behind Catalina and dragging her away and on the dance floor.

Is it too early to leave? Is there a chance that everyone will know I’m missing? Am I going to leave anyway? Yes, I am. There’s no way I can handle speaking to strangers and making small talk conversations with random people I just don’t know. Fuck. I used to love talking and socializing with strangers as much as I loved fucking them. And now, I’m fucking broken, well… in a sense. My body comes alive for one man while I shrink away from anyone who even tries now.

We’ve been at this event for hours. Everyone from the wedding party had their own table so I’ve forced myself to chat with Mika as much as I can. So, I’m not distracted by the man watching me from a distance. I can feel the way he devours me with each move I make.

“Oye, why does he keep watching you?” Mika says, shoving my shoulders with amusement in her tone. She glances up and nods towards Julian.

“Shhh,” I shush, “don’t acknowledge the demon, otherwise he’ll never disappear.”

She laughs a little louder this time, which causes me to laugh alongside her.

“Seriously, he’s looking at you like he wants to fuck you or kill you. I’m not really sure which one at this point. Pero dios, if you don’t fuck him. I may have to.” She giggles while fanning herself, and my amusement dies out just as rapidly as it came.

“I wouldn’t. He may have syphilis with the number of chicks he’s gone through. Maybe try Marcelo. Since it looks like he’s staring at you like he’s about to go all caveman,” I whisper, hoping that my jealous rage stays intact and doesn’t rear its ugly head towards my best friend even though part of me is irrationally boiling at her comment.

Yeah, I think it’s time to go.

Mika laughs and shakes her head like there’s no way I’m right about what I said.

“Actually, I think I’m going to go to bed. It’s been a long day and I can’t handle more people. I just need to sleep. Cover for me?” I whisper.

She looks at me, her eyes full of questions that go unanswered. I can’t tell her what I’m leaving to do. She would feel differently about me, she’d fear me or write me off as her friend. I couldn’t handle that.

I don’t wait a moment more for her to agree. Looking up, I automatically find where Julian sits across the ballroom, chatting with some men from the Italian family. I honestly wasn’t paying attention to their names, nor did I care to greet them the way they greeted most people, with a kiss on both cheeks. While he’s distracted, I take the chance to escape his clutches.

My movements are a blur as I walk back to my hotel room to change my clothes and grab my bag, it’s still a blur when I make it back to the hotel lobby and when I make it inside my jeep. My heart races against my chest as I turn on my car and back out of the parking spot. Every so often I’d glance at the rearview mirror expecting Julian to come out of the shadows.

The drive is filled with the song “Riot” by Hollywood Undead as I make my way to Cornell, each mile closer to the man that has been abusing his position within the church. His sins are deadlier than the ones that I’ve already committed in the name of justice. My fingers tap along the steering wheel until the ringing of my phone shifts my attention. Tightening my grip on the wheel I continue staring at the road, ignoring the phone call and the next and then the third one.

It doesn’t matter who it is. I went to bed. No one knows where I am or where I’ll be.

The forty minute drive passed by rather quickly, while my phone stopped ringing after the fourth attempt. I don’t even bother looking to see who it was. I park in front of the church, and I can’t help but debate on going through with this, especially in a house of God. I’m already going to hell, right? Would it matter?

Anxiety spans through me like wildfire. Exhaling quickly, I force myself out of the car with my mask in my hand and towards the church. Taking a quick look around, I place my mask on, the cotton feels as if the invisible one I hide behind were coming right off. Like this is my true form.

The beautiful moldings of the church are all along the entrance, I smirk at the irony of it being here, in a sacred place. Lifting my hands I press my thumb on my index finger and kiss my thumb.

To the Father . I tap on my forehead. The son . I tap on my belly. And the Holy Spirit . I tap on my right shoulder and then my left. Amen . Kissing my thumb one last time, I pull open the door, expecting to be burned as soon as I cross the threshold.

The long aisle of the church is filled with cute little flowers all the way up to the podium, the little stage is the only thing that is illuminated by the lights. The images of Jesus and his sacrifice cover the window and walls along both sides of the church. I stare up at the cross, the statue of the man who sacrificed himself for our sin’s stares at me or at least that’s what it feels like, judging my choices the longer I stand there.

Why didn’t you save me when I needed you? I prayed for years at first but I went unheard. I was no one. And yet you’ve allowed this man of God to molest the children he’s supposed to teach? Fuck that. I hide behind one of the large pillars when I hear something in the distance, it sounds like a muffled conversation. Fuck. He’s supposed to be alone.

Slowly, I walk straight and turn right to where an office should be, leaning closer to the door I can make out the voice of what I assume is Marcus and the faint sniffles of someone else. Rage starts to boil over me as if I were drowning in a sea of anger.

“You want God’s forgiveness, don’t you?” Marcus says, while a child sniffles and cries. Where the fuck is this kid’s parent? I push open the door before this asshole can do any more damage. The creak of the door has Marcus fumbling with his zipper and stepping away from the crying kid.

I don’t allow them a moment to comprehend what’s happening.

“Go,” I whisper gently to the boy. “Go home.”

Marcus starts to move towards the child and I fucking lose it. Walking up to him I punch the asshole in the face before I yell at the kid once more. Luckily, he listens and disappears through the doors. I calculate that I don’t have long here. Here I thought I would have more time, but what I didn’t expect was that this pig was going to try to molest a ten-year-old.

“Who-who are you? W-why have you come here?” he asks, holding onto his broken nose.

“Oh, Marcus. You’re asking the wrong questions. Always the wrong questions.” I scoff, and I press my index finger to his temple that causes him to take a step back.

“You know I was fully prepared to take my time. You had to make this quick and almost merciful, which is something you just simply do not deserve. So, this is what’s going to happen. You’re going to get on your knees and fucking take it.”

I pull out my pistol with the silencer attached to it and unlock the safety. I watch his body tremble in fear, his eyes are focused on mine. I made sure I taught myself how to shoot the moment I killed my stepfather, to be sure I was prepared for his friends to come after me. They didn’t. I’m not sure why, but I taught myself to be better, to learn every way to kill a man and to be sure I don’t leave anything behind just in case. I had been waiting for them, and when they never came, I went looking for them once I started this extracurricular activity, but they were already dead.

“Open your mouth, Santiago. Let’s see how you like getting face fucked when you don’t want to.” I can’t help but laugh at this coward, his eyes harden probably thinking he could beat me. His back straightens and I pull the trigger hitting his right kneecap and then his left. He collapses on the floor, curling himself into a ball as he holds both knees with his hands.

“What did I say?” His cries grow, cursing out God’s name and calling me a crazy bitch a few times until he finally opens his mouth the way I asked.

“That’s a good boy.” I chuckle. Walking up to him, I hover slowly putting the silencer inside his mouth, pushing it inside him a few times. He gags, clearly not used to the intrusion. So, I shove it inside his mouth as far as I can go and pull the trigger.

Time's up.