MC Sinners Boxed Set #1-7

~CHAPTER 1~ | PAST

~*CHAPTER 1*~

PAST

S he won’t wake up, and I know right way that this was a mistake. It was a huge mistake. I grip her shoulders, wrapping my fingers around her arms and shaking. She doesn’t move. God, no, this can’t be happening. Not now, not here. I shake her again, but her head flops to the side. She has a grey tinge to her skin that I’m sure wasn’t there a moment ago. I swallow, feeling the sting of bile as it rises up my throat. I don’t cry. My tears are now lodged into a place I can’t get to. I stare down at her lifeless body, and I know it’s the end for her. Guilt rises in my chest as I force myself to my feet.

I can’t be here. I have to get out. I’ll call the police, let them know it was a drug overdose. Then I’ll be out of here for good. I won’t look back. I stare down at the woman that brought me into this world, and I feel nothing. I don’t even feel angry that I never got to tell her what I thought about the life she gave me. I don’t feel sad that she’s no longer around. I don’t even feel happy that I don’t ever have to live under her shadow again. No, the only thing I feel is a deep emptiness that goes right into my very core and lodges itself there, blocking out any other feelings that may try to rise.

I turn, my fingers tremble as I lift her cell phone and hit the three numbers that will connect me to an ambulance - 911. When they answer, I simply tell them what I know as I stare down at my mother’s lifeless form. She’s going blue now, an ugly shade of blue that is making my stomach turn. I hang up the phone when the operator tells me to ‘hold on, sit tight, we’ll be there soon’. I’m sure they will be here soon, to take my mother to a cold place where I know she belongs. They’ll be here to free her of her life, but me...I won’t be. I won’t be here, because now I’m going to free myself of my life, in the only way I know how.

By running.