MC Sinners Boxed Set #1-7

SERENITY

I can’t breathe, his fingers are around my throat and I’m thrashing, but I can’t escape it. I want to escape, but I can’t. He’s too strong, too big, and too powerful. His body is crushing mine against the wall, and I’m squirming to get away. My body tingles, and my heart thumps as all the oxygen is squeezed from my body. I’m going to die, this is it for me. It’s over with. I’m dead. Part of me is relieved, I’m so tired of fighting, but part of me wants to fight. I realize just as the last of my breath leaves my body, that I don’t want to die. I should have picked to fight.

“What the fuck, wake up!”

I slowly come to, my eyes are hazy. It takes me a moment to realize it was a dream, and I’m now waking up. I see Jackson leaning over me, shirtless, hair flowing around his shoulders, looking like a dark angel.

“Hey, you with me?”

I’m panting, and my body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

“I...what?”

“You were screamin’, fuckin’ loud.”

Screaming? Oh shit. If I scream my father’s name...panic floods me, and I begin to pant even heavier. This is too risky. I have to get out of here. I can’t do this. It’s too dangerous. I bolt upright, and Jackson reels backwards. His thick, dark hair hangs over his shoulders, it’s all loose, and he looks utterly breath taking standing in front of me. His body is hard, large, and covered in tattoos. God, I can’t be doing this. I shouldn’t even be looking. I leap from the bed, and scurry about trying to find my cell phone. I find it, shove it in my pants and hurry to the door.

“Whoa, what are you doin’?” he asks.

“I can’t be here, I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I should leave,” I ramble.

I rush past him and down the stairs. He follows; I can hear his heavy footsteps behind me. He reaches out just as I hit the bottom step, gripping my arm. I yelp loudly, spinning around and shoving at his chest so hard he stumbles backwards. His eyes widen and he quickly lets me go, throwing his hands up.

“Don’t touch me!” I scream.

His eyes are full of concern, and he gently shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says slowly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I wouldn’t hurt you, I swear it. Don’t go runnin’ out in the middle of the night. It’s dangerous out there.”

“Please,” I say, my voice trembling. “I can’t be here. I appreciate your hospitality, but I can’t stay.”

“So you go runnin’ out onto the streets in the middle of the night? You know how dangerous that is?”

“I have no other choice, I can’t stay. I can’t...”

“Hey,” he says, stepping closer, his green eyes searching my face. “Ain’t no one gonna hurt you here. I swear it. Come on, darlin’...just go back and get some sleep. Sort yourself out. Then you can leave if you want.”

Darlin’.

Why does he have to be so sweet? Why can’t he be vulgar, and rude, and awful...that would make this so much easier.

“I just...”

“Please, at least stay the night,” he says, his eyes meeting mine. “Just one night. It ain’t going to go down well with me, if I know you’re out there alone...”

Thinking of my father’s reaction if I return home with no information, I nod my head weakly, and swallow. “Ok, I’m sorry, I will stay.”

“There ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for.”

Oh how wrong he is.

“I am asking a lot of you, being here...” I whisper, meeting his piercing gaze.

“I don’t mind helpin’ you out,” he says softly, then turns away.

I watch as he walks into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and pulls out some milk, and then he goes into the cupboard and finds some honey. He pours the milk into a pan, and then squeezes some honey in. I walk over, feeling my legs wobble. Watching his back as he stirs, watching the muscles move and pull, makes my throat tight. Why is a man so beautiful, so alone?

“You don’t have a wife...”

I curse myself for asking such an insensitive question. Jackson gives me a look over his shoulder. “Nah.”

“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine, darlin’. I ain’t got nothin’ to hide. It just never happened for me, I came close with Addi’s momma, but it was never meant to be.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. “Sometimes love just ain’t meant to be for some people.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I say softly. “I think everyone has someone.”

“I’ve found plenty of wrong, just never right.”

“She’s out there.”

He smiles at me, like I’m a small child dreaming far too big. He turns and pulls out a few glasses, and pours the milk into them before lifting them and handing one to me. I take it, grateful.

“When I was a kid, my momma used to make this for me, it works,” he says, nodding his head towards the glass in my hand.

“With sleep or the nightmares?” I ask.

“Both.”

I smile, and it’s the first real smile I’ve given since I’ve been here. Jackson smiles too, and it causes all the breath to leave my lungs in a rush. He’s got these beautiful dimples, and on his square jaw, they look divine.

“So your mom,” I whisper. “She was loving then?”

He nods. “Yeah, she was amazing. What about you?”

I look away. “She ran out when I was two, leaving me with...him.”

“That’s fuckin’ shit, I’m sorry.”

A random, unexpected giggle erupts from my throat.

“That was funny?” Jackson says, giving me a half smile.

“No,” I say, still smiling. “It’s just the way you say things.”

He grins. “Yeah, I add far too many fucks into my sentences.”

I shrug. “It’s ok, I don’t mind.”

“You grow up around here?” he asks, putting the glass to his lips and taking a sip.

“No, we’ve just been here for the past few...months.”

It’s a lie, we’ve only just gotten into town, but if I tell him that, he’ll ask questions.

“You got any other family?”

I shake my head. “No, just my father.”

“Sucks to be in a position you can’t escape from.”

I nod. “Yeah, it does.”

He nods, and runs his finger around the rim of the glass. “Well, you stay here as long as you need.”

“Thank you, but I’ll try and get out of your hair as soon as I can.”

He shrugs, tensing and releasing his jaw. “Don’t matter to me, darlin’. You can stay.”

“I know,” I whisper. “But you don’t know me and...”

“You gonna murder me in the middle of the night?”

I chuckle, but it sounds empty, even to me. “No.”

“You gonna steal from me?”

“No.”

“You’re not one of those female sicko’s that will tie me up and rape me?”

I giggle, and he grins. “Serious question, darlin’. You never know.”

“I swear, I don’t have sex fetishes.”

His eyes twinkle with humor. “Well then, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

We’re not fine though. Because I’m lying to him. I’m cheating him.

I’m a monster.

“Well,” he says, pushing off the counter. “Hope the milk helps.”

He puts his glass down, flashes me a smile, and walks out. When he gets to the stairs, I spin around.

“Hey Jackson?”

He turns, looking at me. Damn those eyes.

“Thank you.”

He grins again. “Yeah, no problem.”

Then he’s gone, and I’m left with an aching heart.

How the hell am I going to do this?