MC Sinners Boxed Set #1-7

~CHAPTER 20~ | SERENITY

~*CHAPTER 20*~

SERENITY

I sit on the bed, completely stunned. He walked out. I told him I loved him, and he walked out. Is that all my words meant to him? Has he been just trying to find a way out all this time? My stomach turns, and I shift from the bed, standing up. That’s when it hits me - a sharp, angry pain in my lower belly. I cry out, clutching my stomach as my head begins to spin. No, oh please no.

“J-Jackson?” I rasp.

Nothing.

I stand and walk to the bathroom, stepping in and locking the door behind me. I lower myself to the floor, clutching my stomach. It’s hard to determine exactly where the pain is, because my body is so bruised and battered, but I know it’s down low. I am so sick of crying, and yet tears threaten to escape. I pull myself up onto the toilet, groaning at the smell. It’s not nice sharing only two toilets with this many men.

I wipe.

And my head begins to spin.

Blood.

There’s not much, but it’s blood.

I close my eyes and a mix of anger and pain bubble up in my throat. I get off the toilet, and find my spot on the floor again. Am I having a miscarriage? Is that what’s happening? Did I kill my own baby? Did I kill Jackson’s baby? I wrap my arms around myself, and pray for this to be something different. That baby, it was my tiny ray of sunshine, if it goes...and Jackson goes...

“Serenity?”

There’s a gentle knock at the door, and I hear Ciara’s voice. I take a deep breath and swallow. “Ciara?”

“It’s me, are you ok?”

“N-n-no,” I rasp, my voice breaking.

“What’s happening?”

“I’m...I’m bleeding.”

She’s silent for a long moment. “Oh honey. Let me in?”

“I can’t...I just...I can’t.”

“Hang on a second, ok? I’ll get Jackson.”

I cry out no, but by the sounds of it, she’s already gone. I clutch my stomach harder, trying to control my trembling. A moment later, a harder knock sounds out.

“Serenity?”

It’s Jackson.

“Open the door, darlin’.”

I close my eyes and let my tears leak out. I’m so tired. So worn out. I don’t want to move, or to speak. I don’t even want to feel. I am sick of fighting against myself, and my life. No matter what I do, it keeps ending like this.

“Baby,” Jackson says, gentler this time. “Please open the door.”

I open my mouth to rasp a go away, but the only sound that comes out is a strangled gasp.

“I’m goin’ to kick it down,” I hear Jackson say.

“That’s not wise, daddy!”

Addison is there now, too.

“She won’t open it, I don’t have a choice.”

Three kicks later, and the door flings open. I gasp, and wrap my arms around myself, scooting further into the bathroom. Jackson sees me on the floor, looking like a pitiful child, and walks over, kneeling down in front of me. His eyes are soft and full of concern.

“What’s happening?”

“I’m...b-b-bleeding.”

“Bleeding?”

“The baby, daddy,” Addison whispers from behind him.

Jackson’s face pales, and his eyes fill with hurt. Oh god, he wanted our baby too? I close my eyes and look away, ashamed and hurt. Is this my fault? I asked my own father to beat me. I pushed him. I wanted him to end this for me. God, what sort of person am I? I put my own child at risk, because I was selfish. What is wrong with me?

“What...do we do?” he asks.

“She needs a doctor,” Ciara says gently.

“Then I’m takin’ her to a doctor.”

He reaches for me, but I slap his hand away. “No!”

“Serenity, this is our baby...”

“My baby!” I cry, shaking. “You don’t want this. You don’t want me. You walked away, Jackson. I told you I loved you, and you walked away. You can’t just come back now and try to help me. What’s the point?”

His eyes flicker with emotion, and I notice everyone else leave the bathroom. Jackson stares at me for a long moment, and I expect him to tell me that he can’t change it, but I’m still going to the doctor anyway. Instead, he says something that has my world stopping, and all the breath leaving my lungs.

“You think I don’t love you?” he rasps. “You think I don’t fucking care? I care, Serenity. I want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, and you frighten the fuck out of me. You could change your mind at any moment, deciding I’m not good enough, or too old, and then where will I be? If you think I am pulling away, because I don’t care, then you’re fucking wrong. I care about you, more than I care to admit.”

I shake, and reach out, gripping his shirt. “Have you seen the life I lived, Jackson? Have you seen how it went for me? Do you have any idea how much I adore you? I don’t care how old you are. I don’t want to leave you, because you’re the only good thing I have left. Don’t pull away from me,” I plead. “I need you.”

“Baby,” he murmurs, gripping me and hurling me up and into his chest. He wraps his big arms around me, and nestles his face into my hair. “You are the reason I fuckin’ breathe.”

I shudder as he stands, lifting me up off the floor. When my feet are steady on the ground, he looks down at me, those beautiful green eyes blazing. “And because of that, you’re goin’ to the doctor whether you like it or not.”

I don’t argue.

I don’t need to.

He’s said everything I need to hear.

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