Merrily Yours (The Bardot Siblings)

Chapter 5

“Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything.” — Michael Scott, The Office

“Louie’s tonight?” Anders asks.

“Uno!”

Dammit, how is Bex so good at UNO?!

“Sure, I’d be down for a night at Louie’s. It’ll be just like old times!” I place a green two card down on the pile. We circle around to Jules who places a Draw Four card down right before it’s Bex’s turn again, quickly turning her expression of glee into one of frustration.

“What the fuck, JuJu!” Bex yells, startling a sleeping Elodie who passed out on the couch halfway through The Grinch .

“Easy there, killer,” Anders soothes, massaging her shoulders. I watch as Bex leans back onto him from her spot on the floor.

“That’s your name,” she reminds him. And then a whimpered, “I was so close to this game being over.”

“You didn’t have to play with us,” Ben states, handing her four new cards.

But we all know she didn’t really have a choice. Sibling UNO is a tradition.

Bex remains grumpy as we continue to play. Anders tries to calm her down—it’s a futile effort. I watch as he leans down and whispers something in her ear. It’s been six years since they first got together, but they are still sickeningly in love.

It is hard to be around them sometimes. Between my parents, and my best friend and sister, all I see is perfect relationships around me. A reminder that I’ve fucked up every relationship I’ve ever attempted. Not that I’ve tried that hard since?—

“Uno!” It’s Ben this time.

“Well, shit,” I mutter as I draw another card.

We play until it gets back to Ben, all of us watching as he lays down his last card. He hops up and does a bizarre victory dance that looks like his rendition of the macarena.

“After that display of athleticism, I feel like you all need some hot chocolate!” Mom pops her head in from the kitchen. Everyone nods enthusiastically and she disappears around the corner again.

“So, we are good for Louie’s tonight? Maybe after dinner?” I ask.

“I’ll drive,” Anders winks.

Mom walks back in with a tray of hot chocolate. She hands a mug to Bex first who asks, “Mom, can you watch El tonight? I think we’re all going to go to Louie’s after we put her to bed.”

“Of course I’ll watch my favorite baby!” Mom exclaims.

“We were all replaced the second that pregnancy test was positive,” I sigh.

Anders hums. “She’s definitely way cuter than all of you. She gets that from her mother”—he leans down and kisses Bex’s cheek—“and her grandmother,” he finishes, winking at Mom.

Ben, Jules, and I groan. Anders is such a suck up.

We continue talking and drinking our hot chocolate before parting ways to get ready for dinner.

It’s been really nice to have everyone in town for the holidays. We don’t get the same hang out time we did growing up. We fought like crazy, sure, but when you have three younger siblings that are so close in age—it’s a bond I’ve taken for granted in the past.

I head up to my old childhood bedroom and flop down on the bed. I live above Louie’s so I’ll stay there tonight, but I’m not that far from Mom and Dad’s, and it’s nice to be able to crash here when family is in town.

My phone dings and I pick it up to see a Tinder notification. I already know I’m not interested, however, curiosity gets the better of me. I open the app and see that I’ve matched with someone named Carly. I swipe through her pictures, chiding myself for how unaffected I am. She’s cute, sure. She is probably lovely to be around, but her hair is black and curly when I really want it to be blonde and wavy. Her eyes a deep brown, when I prefer to drown in a sea of blue. She’s tall and curvy, and yet, I find myself wishing she was petite and athletic.

Fuck.

Frustrated, I close out of the app and allow myself to drift into a fitful nap.

Louie’s is full tonight. I was informed that they are hosting a Christmas Eve Eve party, which I didn’t know was a thing.

We all left the house together about an hour ago and are now occupying a corner booth. Louie has decided he wants to start making specialty cocktails so we have three sitting in the middle of the table, everyone afraid to touch them. Instead, my brothers and I all have a beer, Anders has a coke, and Bex is sipping a Shirley Temple with extra cherries.

“C’mon, one of you has to try one!” Bex encourages. “I would but…” She rubs her belly and shrugs.

I look over and see Ben and Jules touching their noses—that fucking twin telepathy at work again. “Nose goes,” Ben says, eyeing me.

Fine, I’ll bite.

“Which one should I try first? The homemade Wassail, Christmas punch, or Santa’s Snowball?” I ponder.

Jules grimaces. “What the fuck is Santa’s Snowball?”

“Louie said something about Amaretto and ice cream? Maybe brandy? He rattled off so many ingredients, I stopped paying attention,” Anders admits.

“I’ll try that one first…” I take a sip, acting as though I’m at a wine tasting. The liquid swirls in the glass before meeting my tongue and damn —that’s phenomenal.

“Holy shit, that’s good! It just tastes like vanilla ice cream,” I say.

Bex’s eyebrows lift. “Dangerous.”

She’s not wrong.

Another hour later and I’ve finished all three of Louie’s specialty cocktails with the help of Ben and Jules, once they realized I wasn’t fucking with them about how good they were.

“Let’s get more!” Ben says as he downs the dregs of the Christmas punch. Bex and I are each sitting on the outside of the booth, so we slide out and head toward the bar to get another round.

“So, I think we’ve talked Ben into coming home… What about you and Anders?” I ask. I’m definitely feeling tipsy but not completely smashed. I’m on my way there, though.

Bex shrugs her shoulders, looking away. “We’re not quite done in—” Her eyes widen incrementally as she rapidly looks back and forth between me and the entrance. “I swear I had no idea, I’m so sorry,” she leans in and frantically whispers.

“What are you?—”

“Luce!” Bex exclaims, and my ears start ringing. “I didn’t know you were in town tonight!”

Luci. Fuck.

Last I checked she was teaching yoga at a wellness center in Hawaii.

Bex opens her arms, welcoming in one of her best friends. They sway back and forth a few times before Luci pulls back and looks at my sister with eyes full of love. I face toward the bar because I can only take so much torture, seeing her again.

I overhear Luci say, “Oh my goodness, look at that belly! I can’t believe I’m going to be an auntie again!”

“I’ve missed you, Luce. El will be so excited to see you,” Bex adds.

“I’m excited to see her,” Luci states. “And the rest of your crazy crew.”

Taking that as my cue, I inhale deeply before turning to face my biggest regret.

“Hey, Luce, it’s good to see you.” I dip my chin in acknowledgement.

“Likewise, Gabriel.” Her skin is tan, even in December, and her blue eyes are shining. Her golden blonde hair is streaked with lighter highlights. She’s definitely been somewhere sunny, then. But why is she here?

“What’s with the surprise appearance?” I ask and immediately hear how annoyed I sound, though that’s not my intention.

Luci flinches slightly, answering, “Oh, you know I can’t commit to anything.” A jab at me. “Made the decision last minute to head back here. Rosie is at Hawthorne now, so I figured we could spend the holidays together.”

“You’re welcome to spend them with us!” Bex says, giving me “get over it” eyes.

“No, no that’s okay! I’ll stop by and say hi to Elaine and Hugo tomorrow, but Rosie and I have Christmas day plans.”

Louie brings our drinks, notices Luci, and comes around the bar to give her a big bear hug. “When you’re done catching up with Louie, you should come sit with us.”

Everyone stares at me, as though I just suggested nuclear warfare. Luci recovers the quickest, because of course she does, and says, “Yeah, I’ll meet you guys over there.”

Bex takes two of the drinks and hurries back over to the booth. “Scooch together and don’t be weird, Luci is here. Act normal, dammit!”

“Luci is here? I love her!” Ben yells loud enough that Luci hears him and turns around to blow him a kiss.

My insides heat, a fierce jealousy exploding throughout my body. “Don’t fucking think about it,” I warn, low and ominous.

Ben puts his hands up in surrender. “Damn, dude. You know I wouldn’t. I’ll be on my best behavior.” He crosses his heart.

“Quit acting like a caveman asshole that has any claim over her, Gabriel. You had your chance,” Bex seethes.

Anders rubs Bex’s shoulders and she relaxes back into him. “Alright, everyone, let’s calm down. We are excited to see Luci, Bex’s best friend and a genuinely good human. Everyone will be normal, no one will flirt—except maybe Gabe—and we will all enjoy watching Ben continue to get smashed on Santa’s Snowballs. Got it?”

“Got it,” we all say, with Bex chiming in, “Yes, sir.”

Ben, Jules, and I grimace at that. Anders plants a kiss on Bex’s cheek.

I can’t help but watch as Luci saunters over from the bar. She’s gorgeous—she always has been. Her toned legs move under her jeans, strong and powerful. I’ve imagined those thighs wrapped around my face more than I’d like to admit. It’s been fodder for the spank bank for years.

As she approaches, everyone starts to scoot around the booth, leaving a space right next to me. I slide over, accepting the inevitable. Luci plops down next to me, the thigh I was just admiring pressed firmly against mine.

“Hello, brothers Bardot!” Luci exclaims, tipping her cocktail toward Ben and Jules. “And the honorary Bardot.” She winks at Anders.

“I see Louie talked you into one of tonight’s specialty cocktails.” Ben grins.

Luci takes a demure sip of her drink. “Yes, the Christmas punch. Not bad, actually, but very strong.”

“And you’re a lightweight,” Bex adds. “Remember that night sophomore year?—”

Luci’s groan cuts through any reminiscing. “Oh my God! Don’t remind me! I had three drinks, but I swear Riz’s ratio of vodka to cranberry juice was ninety-nine percent vodka and one percent juice.”

“We woke up the next morning on a bench in the quad,” Bex giggles.

“Seems safe,” Jules admonishes.

“We’re here, aren’t we?” Luci asks, her tone teasing. “Anyway, lesson learned! Don’t let me have more than two of these bad boys tonight, got it?” She points to her Christmas punch which is already halfway gone.

Bex shrugs, eyeing me. “I don’t think I’ll be out too late tonight, so you’re someone else’s problem.”

We spend the next bit of time laughing and drinking, getting progressively louder as the night goes on. Around ten o’clock, Louie announces holiday karaoke will be starting soon, and I get half-hard at the excited wiggle Luci does next to me. She’s mostly through her second glass of Christmas punch, demanding that she and Bex perform “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” but not the “old patriarchal one, the new one where the woman has a choice”—their exact words.

I watch their performance and try not to take in the way Luci’s body moves on stage. Her voice is not half bad and acts as a siren song. I’m mesmerized by her delicate hand holding the mic, her golden waves swishing side to side, and the way her nose scrunches up when she misses a word.

“You’re staring,” Ben murmurs next to me, but I’m too drunk, or maybe just too distracted by her, to care.

They finish and Anders gets up on stage next to sing “Santa Baby” at Bex’s request.

I’m sick of their cuteness and need a minute away from the berry scent of Luci’s perfume. “I’m getting another,” I say, not looking back to see if anyone else wants something. I know I’m being an asshole, but I feel so antsy, like I need to unzip myself and crawl out of my own skin.

It only takes a moment before I feel her presence behind me. “Hey,” she whispers. She sits on the barstool next to me, turning so her knees brush my leg. It could be accidental, but when I look into her eyes, I realize it’s not. “Sorry if I’m making things awkward.” She dips her head, that confident girl disappearing before my eyes.

“Hey,” I whisper back, using my hand to tip her chin back up. “Don’t do that. You know you’re welcome with us anytime.”

She nods and leans a little more into me before I bring my hand back down to my side, willing myself to stop touching her. “It’s just that Bex is like family, you know?”

I huff a laugh. “Yeah, I do know.”

“Not like that.” She flicks my arm. “Listen, we were both kids, okay? It’s been years. I think we can move past all of”—she gestures around vaguely—“ this .”

I swallow hard. Can I move past the mistakes I made so many years ago? I really want to. So I nod. “Yeah, you’re right.”

She sticks her hand out for a— “You want to shake on it?” I laugh.

She nods emphatically. “Yeah… I do.”

So we shake hands. And then our fingers twine together. And we don’t let go.

At least, not until I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and see everyone from our table walking toward us. I pull my hand out of Luci’s and miss the touch instantly. I look into her eyes expecting to see hurt, but I only see understanding.

Luci has always understood me. Even when she didn’t want to.

“We’re headed out!” Bex says, once she reaches us. “But you guys feel free to stay and… do whatever…”

“Subtle, Baby Bardot,” Anders jokes. “Let’s get home.”

We say our goodbyes and then Luci turns to me.

“I guess that’s our cue,” I say at the same time Luci says, “I think we should go upstairs.”

“You think we should…” Wait, what ?

“C’mon, Gabe.” She runs a finger up and down my arm, my skin erupting in goosebumps. “I don’t think I’m misinterpreting here, am I? I’m leaving town after the holidays. We don’t have to, but I’d like to spend some more time with you…”

“Mmhmm. Yeah, that. We should definitely do that.” A smile lights up her face, and I’m already incredibly hard just thinking about more time with her.

I close out our tab, and Luci immediately laces our fingers together, dragging me behind her as we exit the building and walk around to the apartment entrances. I think I might be dreaming because she keeps shooting coy looks over her shoulder. We open the door and make it halfway up the stairs before my impatience and impulsivity gets the better of me.

“Wait,” I say, stopping so abruptly, Luci crashes back into me.

Her hands are on my chest as she looks down through thick eyelashes. “What, Gabriel?”

“How much have you had to drink?” I ask. I had several of Louie’s drinks but also had a big dinner and some snacks so I’m only feeling slightly buzzed. I watched Luci only drink two glasses of Christmas punch, but I want to—no I have to—make sure she consents to this.

“You saw how much I drank tonight. That’s all I’ve had. I am a little tipsy, but we can make some coffee upstairs if that’ll make you feel better.”

“And you consent to this?” I ask.

She nods, licking her lips as her gaze drops down to my mouth.

Fuck. “Words, Luce. Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

“Can I fuck you?”

“Please,” she whines.

“Will you stay the night?” That catches her off guard.

“Uh… maybe. I’m not—I don’t know if…”

I silence her with a kiss. And it’s the best kiss I’ve had since… Well, since the last time I kissed her . My hands tangle in her waves, and I give a slight tug, reveling in the gasp she lets out. My tongue reaches out and meets hers, and I can feel when she gives up and sinks into me.

“We’ll talk more about that later,” I concede. I don’t want to ruin my chance again.

She’s been acting confident all night, that’s Luci’s modus operandi. Fake it until you make it. But I don’t want her to fake anything with me.

I take the lead now, moving around Luci and guiding us both to my apartment, the same one I’ve lived in since Anders and I were at Hawthorne. I keep it fairly tidy but it’s definitely a bachelor pad, so when I walk in, I instruct Luci to sit on the couch, and I get a pot of coffee brewing while I clean up as much as I can.

“You don’t have to pick up for me!” Luci calls from where she’s gotten cozy on the sofa.

I shove some dirty clothes in the hamper before answering, “I’m not.”

Her muttered, “Liar,” greets me as I get two mugs out of the cabinet and pour coffee in. “Sugar?” I ask.

“Two scoops and a splash of milk, please!”

We drink our coffee and I put on a Christmas movie for some background noise. There’s not much talking, but our mugs are eventually empty and our hands start wandering—familiarizing ourselves with each other’s bodies.

We kissed all those years ago, but we never slept together. I can’t deny how much I want it now, though.

Luci grabs my cock over the top of my jeans, and I almost come in my pants.

“Fuck, Luce. I want to last.”

She giggles at that but removes her hand, moving it to safer territory.

“Bedroom or couch?” she asks.

“Bedroom,” I murmur, making no move to get up. Instead, I’ve discovered my love of Luci’s collarbones. I pull her onto my lap and kiss and suck her clavicle. I move to the base of her neck and suck hard .

“Gabe!” Luci scolds, but the way she grinds down on me tells me she doesn’t mind. “I thought we were going to the bedroom.” Her voice is light, unfocused.

Without breaking contact with her skin, I stand up and wrap her legs around my waist, carrying her to the bedroom. When we get there, I’m still not ready to break contact, so we fall on the bed together, our movements becoming frantic.

Reluctantly, I pry myself off of her and stand. She’s beautiful laid out in my bed, however, we are both entirely too clothed. I reach for her pants button and undo it, pulling the zipper down slowly.

It’s like unwrapping my first Christmas present, except it’s Luci which makes it a thousand times better. I slide her jeans off, revealing a pair of cotton underwear that say “Monday” on them.

“It’s Wednesday,” I laugh.

She looks down and sees what I’m talking about. “Oh yeah, I can never find the right pair for whatever day it is. And it’s not like people normally see them so…”

She lets the implication linger. I’m the only one getting to see her like this right now. And damn, I like that. I don’t say anything else, instead taking the underwear all the way off and admiring her perfect body.

“You’re staring,” Luci says.

“Yeah, I tend to do that with you,” I reply. “I can’t help it. Can I?” I dip my head down and kiss her inner thigh.

“I’d like that.” Luci’s reply is enthusiastic. So I get to work.

One taste is all it takes for me to know that I’ll be ruined for anyone else. She tastes amazing—so sweet, just like the rest of her. I find her clit and tease, enjoying the way she squirms to keep me right where she wants me.

“Luce, you are…” I lose my words mid-sentence.

“God, it’s so good,” she murmurs. “We shouldn’t be…”

I pull away. “Should I stop?” I don’t want her to regret this.

I don’t want her to regret me .

“Luci, babe, I’ll stop. Just say the word.”

She whines, gripping my hair and pulling me back into her perfect cunt. “I don’t want you to stop.”

So I don’t. I keep working my tongue, adding in a finger, and then two, until she’s clenching around me and her back is arching off the bed, putting her perfect tits up into the air. I haven’t even seen them yet, and I know I’m going to love them.

Luci rides my fingers and face, letting the waves of her orgasm crash over her. And I revel in every single second of it.

Luci’s like a gust of wind—there one second, gone the next. I vow to enjoy every second I have with her tonight.

She comes down from her orgasmic high, mouthing, “Holy shit,” as she flops onto her side. I move to crawl up next to her and she holds up a finger. “Give me a minute,” she giggles.

“Yes, ma’am.” That earns me another laugh.

I stare at her, engrossed in the way her chest rises and falls. Before I can think twice about it, I get back on my knees and slowly pry hers open. I’m fucking hard and I want another taste of her, if she’ll let me.

“I don’t think I can…” she starts when I drag my finger through her slick.

“Let me try?” I ask.

She nods her head. “O-Okay.”

I start slow, playing with her as I watch her face for her reaction. She’s tight around my finger, so I add another one, stretching her. I curl my fingers forward, and she lets out a delicious moan. I’m so turned on. She’s gorgeous and I want more.

I bend to lick her opening, but she abruptly sits up and strips her top off.

I was right, I love her tits.

“Bra, too,” I rasp.

She complies and I’m greeted by pert, rosy nipples. “Fuck.”

Luci lays back down. “Yeah… do that.”

Resuming my previous activities, I lick and suck Luci’s clit, working both of us higher and higher. I’m trying so hard to last for her, but I don’t know if I can.

Luci reaches up, pinching her nipple between two fingers. One twist, two?—

And I’m coming in my pants.

Fuck she’s hot. She’s coming too, and I’m now obsessed with the look on her face when she loses control.

She’s always been a free spirit, but I’ve understood from the beginning that it’s a mask.

I understand because I do the same thing.

Luci props herself on her elbows, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “I’ve never done that before.”

“You’ve never…”

She must see the look of horror on my face because she quickly amends, “No, no! I’ve done that! But no one has ever made me come twice by going down on me.” She smirks. “Should I return the favor?”

Oh shit. “Well, I… uhm. I kind of already…” I can feel my face getting red, adding to the embarrassment of this moment.

“You… Oh!” Her eyes widen as she looks down at my stained pants. “Just from eating me out?” The astonished look on her face makes me smile.

“Yeah, Luce. Just from eating you out.”

“Also a first for me,” she replies.

We clean up and I get her a T-shirt out of my drawer. I like seeing her in my shirt. I don’t ask, I just pull her in to be the little spoon before drifting off into the most restful night of sleep I’ve had in a long time.

Content. This must be what it feels like to be content.

The sun slices through my gauzy curtains, slowly urging me to wake up. I stretch, reaching for the beautiful woman who has occupied my mind for years.

Only, she’s not there.

The sheets are cold and my T-shirt has been folded neatly, laid flat on top of the dresser. There’s a Post-it on my nightstand.

“‘Thanks for a good time. Merry Christmas. Xo, Luci.’ What the fuck?” I crumple it up and throw it across the room.

I should have guessed, but I thought she’d stay. I really thought she’d stay.

I drag myself out of bed, walking across the room to pick up the little piece of her that she left behind. I smooth out the Post-it and put it on top of the shirt I’ll never be able to wear again.

Merry fucking Christmas to me.