Merry Little Hate Notes

Chapter Eight

brANDON

I WATCHED IN HORROR AS my mom lurked in the foyer, waiting for Holly to walk into work Friday morning. There was no talking her out of it, no matter how many times I told her Holly wanted no part of these team-building exercises—that my wingman had talked my dad into implementing. When Camille announced it Wednesday, I had no doubt who was behind all the holiday cheer in the office. Each day’s exercise was a play right out of Holly’s old holiday handbook—everything from decorating cookies and building gingerbread houses to a holiday Pictionary tournament. And it didn’t matter to Mom that I’d been right about the merry little sticky note incident. She was still pressing forward as my wingman. Unfortunately, that meant matching Christmas sweaters for Holly and me, although I was certain Holly wouldn’t wear hers.

And I wouldn’t blame her. I looked down at the monstrosity Mom had forced me into. The sweater, wrapped in silver garland and real blinking lights, with ornaments dangling from it, was a crime against nature. Mom had guilted me into it, saying she’d had them custom made. It disturbed me that someone would purposely make something like this.

More disturbing was how Mom was going to embarrass me as soon as Holly walked through the door. No matter how many times I’d told her Holly hated me, and that this was a hopeless endeavor, she refused to believe it. Mom said if Holly were indifferent, she’d be worried. But hate we could work with.

Holly wasn’t indifferent, even though she was trying her best to appear so. Her words on Wednesday about our history together wouldn’t leave me. I heard the hurt in her voice, and it made me feel like the world’s biggest jerk. I didn’t care that I’d been eighteen. What I did to her was inexcusable.

I used to blame Christian for telling her it was a dare. But I knew I would have let her go either way. I should have at least been man enough to tell her and Christian the truth. I wanted that opportunity now, but I didn’t think there was a chance in hell she’d believe me.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” Mom warned.

I stopped and looked down at my shoes, not even realizing I’d been pacing.

“Just relax.” Mom smiled.

“You have no idea what you’re up against.” Holly wasn’t pleased about all this forced office holiday cheer.

Mom laughed. “Oh please, Bran. I know the girl better than you do. I know exactly what you’re up against. Mark my words, our Holly is going to show up in grand fashion. You just keep doing what I tell you.”

I looked around to make sure we were still the only ones in the foyer. “If I’d listened to you about the merry little sticky notes, it would have been game over. She refuses to even look at Jason now because she thinks those notes were from him.” Not that I was complaining—it had worked in my favor. Jason was a bad-smelling clown who needed to keep his eyes to himself.

Mom waved her hand around, refusing to acknowledge she was wrong. “Believe me, she would have made an exception for you. You’re so handsome.”

“You can’t claim that while I’m wearing this sweater.”

Mom laughed. “You’re going to be so cute next to Holly. I’m going to have to take a picture.”

I threw my head back and groaned. This is why you shouldn’t let your mother be your wingman .

While I was silently lamenting my situation, in walked Holly, just like my teenage fantasies. Her hair was down in loose wavy curls, and under her coat she was wearing a tight red sweater that I had no doubt would nicely accentuate her perfect curves. For that reason alone, I hoped Holly said no to my mother about the ugly Christmas sweater. It would be a shame to cover up what she had going on. I knew my mom’s heart was in the right place, but she couldn’t force Holly or me to catch the holiday spirit.

That said, just being near Holly had me feeling things I hadn’t in years. She had me wanting to cuddle up on the couch with her and watch all her holiday favorites. Or at least have them play in the background while I showed her how much I wanted her—how much I’d always wanted her.

“Holly, honey.” Mom held her arms out, clinging to the designer bag that held the hideous sweater. “How are you?”

Holly was smart enough to look wary of my mother’s presence. It probably didn’t help that I was in her line of sight, although I thought I detected a hint of a smile on her gorgeous face when she noticed what I was wearing. But she avoided any eye contact with me.

“Hi, Lauren.” Holly fell into my mother’s arms and clung to her as if she needed a good motherly hug.

It made me all the more curious about what had happened between Holly and her mom. They used to be so close. It seemed impossible that they had become estranged—Holly had been her mini-me and was proud of it. Being a lawyer was all Holly ever wanted. That, and to marry Zac Efron, which was why I had lamely styled my hair like his during my junior and senior year. Those damn swooping bangs were always getting in my eyes.

“Darling girl.” Mom wrapped Holly up tight. “You look as lovely as ever.”

Holly lifted her head off Mom’s shoulder and glared at me. “Some people might not agree with you.”

I smirked, knowing she had to be ticked off by my notes. If the dang woman would just reciprocate, she would discover I found her even more lovely than my mother did. I could have sworn yesterday she was going to write a note of her own after I left her one that said something like, Why is your tinsel always in a tangle, Krispy Kringle? I’d noticed she kept the sticky notes my mother had given her in her bag. She was thinking about retaliating. I knew it.

“Anyone who doesn’t think you are the loveliest angel doesn’t have eyes or a brain.”

“Brainless.” Holly smiled at me, probably before she realized what she was doing. “That works.”

Mom laughed.

I didn’t mind her calling me brainless when she flashed me that smile of hers. I’d missed it.

Mom released Holly and took her hand. “Come with me. I have something for you. Bran, you come too.”

Holly made to protest, but Mom was smart and quick. She pulled Holly over to the elevators before she could say another word and pushed the up arrow. “Let’s head up to the executive level for a minute. Bertram would love to say hi to you.”

It was obvious she’d roped my dad into this quest of hers. Normally my parents stayed out of my love life. They’d always told me they would love whomever I loved. But apparently they meant, You love the woman we love—Holly . Mission accomplished. I’d been in love with her forever. Even if she was shooting daggers at me with her eyes like it was somehow my fault we were both being hauled up to the executive level. Maybe it was. I’m the one who convinced—fine, begged—my dad to let me work with Holly. This, in turn, brought out a side of my mother I had never known.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Mom pulled Holly in. I barely managed to make it in before Mom pushed the button to close the doors.

Mom strung her arm through Holly’s on the ride up. “How’s your dad doing, honey?”

Holly thought for a moment. “Better. A lot better,” she breathed out like she could hardly believe it. Or that she was afraid to believe it.

I couldn’t imagine what she’d been through. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was for it all—that I never meant for our lives to turn out like this. I thought we would all grow up and follow our plans. I just assumed I would watch her become a lawyer and then fall in love and get married, all while I secretly hated the lucky guy. Or maybe I wouldn’t have been secret about it.

“I’m so happy to hear that.” Mom sounded as relieved as I felt. “You know we would love to see you and your dad at the neighborhood Christmas party in a few weeks. It falls on your birthday this year. We could make it a double celebration.” Mom beamed at the thought.

Holly paled while her terrified eyes widened. “Um,” she breathed out, unable to form words.

“Please think about it,” Mom added before Holly could utter anything else.

“I don’t know if I can,” Holly whimpered, so unlike herself. Her quiet confidence had vanished.

Mom put an arm around her while zeroing in on me. “It’s time for both of you to heal. You need each other for that.”

I cringed over Mom’s boldness. It was official—she was the worst wingman ever. A wingman is supposed to know when to speak up and when not to say anything at all. Mom couldn’t master either skill.

But to my surprise, Holly bit her lip and looked my way as if she wondered if my mom was right.

I so badly wanted to tell her I would do whatever it took to help heal her pain if only she’d let me in. But the elevator doors opened and Holly bolted out of them like her life depended on it.

Dad was there waiting for us as if staged, which I’m sure it was.

I wanted to know what had happened to my non-meddling, sane parents.

“Look at this—my three favorite people in the world.” Dad acted surprised to see us.

I shook my head, not believing him for a second.

“Come to my office for a minute and we’ll catch up,” he said, like he wasn’t currently living with two of us and hadn’t seen Holly just the other day.

Mom grabbed Holly’s hand like they were off to see the wizard and she wanted to skip down the yellow brick road. I followed like a brainless scarecrow along for the show while my dad walked next to me, nudging me with a big grin on his face. As if he were fooling anyone with his act .

While I appreciated their good intentions, it offended me they thought I needed this much help to woo a woman. I had a plan—one that included spending all day with Holly on Monday as we drove to Aspen to meet with Artemis’s CEO. Holly didn’t know yet that Blake had agreed to meet with us if we could make Monday work. I assured Blake we would. I’d planned to tell Holly first thing this morning, as it was a late development last night, but my parents were getting in the way.

As we walked toward Dad’s office, I couldn’t help but think someday this would all be mine—the corner office, the title, and the responsibility that came with it. Professionally, it was all I’d ever wanted. No matter how far and wide I’d run from my past, I knew this place would always be my future. I could smell the prestige and accomplishment along with the gourmet coffee bar. I wanted it all. And the woman in front of me doing her best to play along with my mother’s game she had no idea she was a pawn in it.

Dad’s administrative assistant, Carolyn, waved at us from her desk in the reception area before we entered his office. The executive level was the only floor with true office space. Dad’s spacious office was much like him: Modern, no nonsense, with all the latest technology. His only true indulgence was the golf simulator against the back wall.

“Would anyone like some coffee?” Dad offered.

“No, thank you,” was the consensus.

“Please have a seat.” Dad waved his arms toward the leather couch in his sitting area.

“Actually,” Mom sang, “I have something I want to give Holly first. And didn’t you want to say something, dear?” She gave Dad a meaningful look.

Oh, hell. They’d obviously scripted this whole thing and hadn’t smoothed out the rough edges.

Dad cleared his throat. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” He looked between Holly and me. “You two are my A team now. And as such, I’m hoping you’ll lead the way in the team-building exercises. It’s important for productivity that we foster camaraderie.”

“Of course,” I answered, hoping we could move on from this farce. Holly and I needed to fine-tune our presentation for Artemis. We didn’t have time for games today.

Holly nodded, warily. She was a smart woman.

“With that said”—Mom handed her the bag—“I got you and Brandon matching ugly Christmas sweaters. You two are going to be the poster children for team spirit.”

Wow. She was really laying it on thick.

Holly grimaced while staring at the bag dangling in her face. If she didn’t quit today, it would be a miracle.

“Take it,” Mom insisted. “You can change in Bertram’s bathroom.”

Resigned, Holly sighed and took the bag.

While Holly tiptoed toward the bathroom, I threw myself onto the couch, silently berating my parents.

Mom sidled up to Dad and high-fived him.

I leaned my arms on my knees and planted my head in my hands, unable to watch.

“These kids are going to thank us one day,” Mom squealed quietly.

I didn’t even know my mother could squeal. Also, she was overconfident. Not sure Holly nor I would thank either of them anytime soon. If anything, Dad would be looking for another BDR in the near future.

Holly took her time in the bathroom, and no one could blame her. These ugly Christmas sweaters looked like a cry for help. I’d seen the ugly Christmas sweaters Holly used to make with her friends, and none of them came close to this level of hideousness.

“Honey, do you need some help?” Mom called out to Holly.

My head popped up, waiting for Holly to make her appearance.

Holly cracked open the bathroom door and peeked her gorgeous head out. “Well ... um ... The ornaments are, let’s say, tragically placed.”

I’d be lying if I said this information didn’t perk me up.

Mom rushed toward Holly. “Let’s see if we can fix that.”

Holly let Mom in the bathroom and closed the door, but Mom was less than discreet when she laughed out, “Those ornaments would certainly have all the men staring at your chest. Not that they probably aren’t already. ”

Dad groaned uncomfortably while I shot him a look that said, You only have yourself to blame for this situation. He was feeding the monster that had been unleashed inside my mother.

Within a few minutes, Mom pulled Holly out of the bathroom. My eyes admittedly went straight to Holly’s chest. It appeared the ornament crisis had been averted.

“Look how cute our Holly looks,” Mom trilled.

Despite the ridiculous sweater, Holly was more than cute. She was a vision. Hints of the Holly I knew stood before me, making it feel like Christmas for the first time in a long time.

Holly nibbled on her bottom lip, obviously embarrassed by the attention.

“We should probably get to work. Holly and I need to discuss the Artemis presentation.” I tried to save us both.

Holly caught my eye. “Did they confirm?”

“For Monday.” I smiled.

Holly clenched her fists and swallowed hard.

I was sure she wasn’t looking forward to spending the day with me. I, on the other hand, couldn’t wait.

Dad clapped his hands together. “This is excellent news. Artemis will be our biggest account this year if you can close it.”

“We will,” I assured Dad while heading for the door, hoping to stave off any more antics from my parents. Surely Dad would see how important it was for us to focus on our work and not on these shenanigans.

“Wait.” Mom put a stop to our exit. “We need to get a picture of you two together.”

“That’s okay,” Holly was the first to voice her disagreement. She tried to make a run back to the bathroom to retrieve her things.

Mom wasn’t having it. She grabbed Holly’s hand. “Please stay.” Her lip quivered along with her words.

Holly’s eyes widened, alarmed by my mother’s intensity. Yet she made no more attempts to flee.

“Life is too short to spend it running away,” Mom cautioned gently with love.

If I wasn’t mistaken, I saw tears forming in Holly’s eyes .

Mom’s words got to me, too. We all knew how life could get cut short without a moment’s notice.

“I know Christian wouldn’t want this for either of you. You were his best friends. Might I even say you were best friends, too?”

Those words left Holly awestruck, but she didn’t disagree.

It gave me some hope. Aside from Christian, I missed Holly’s friendship more than anything. But Mom didn’t understand how adamantly Christian had demanded I stay away from Holly—I wasn’t sure this situation would be to his liking.

“So, both of you come here and smile for Christian.” Mom was wickedly good. Too good.

I found myself obeying her, even if I could hear Christian’s voice in my mind yelling at me to keep my eyes to myself where his sister was concerned. Little did he know that was a promise I’d never been able to keep.

Mom pulled us together with the subtlety of a wrecking ball. “Look how cute you look together! This reminds me of all the pictures I have of you tubing down the hill in the neighborhood. Such wonderful memories,” Mom choked out before stepping back and pulling her phone out of the pocket of her long cardigan. “Brandon, put your arm around Holly.”

Those words made Holly stiffen like a three-day-old corpse.

When I hesitated for Holly’s sake, Mom sighed. “Oh, come on. You’re both adults now.”

Not sure how that made it better. It only meant I had some adult thoughts about touching Holly.

“Hurry and play along so we can get this over with,” Holly gritted out under her breath like it tortured her to stand so close to me.

I hesitated, not because I wasn’t interested in touching Holly—I was more than eager to do so—but because I knew she hated me, and knowing my touch would be unwelcome put a damper on it. It wasn’t something I just wanted to get over with. I wanted it to be a start to something.

But for the sake of getting out of there before Mom did anything else to embarrass me, I placed my arm around Holly. My hand landed securely at the curve of her waist, causing her to draw in a huge intake of air, followed by shallow breaths that I could feel pulsing under my touch. My hand had been here before, and my fingers longed to own the curve and guide her body to press against mine. I wanted to gaze into her eyes again and feel her velvet lips on my own. What I wouldn’t do to repeat those five minutes when I’d given in to my desire to know exactly how Holly tasted and felt. Those minutes were some of the best of my life. And they were gone too soon, just like I knew this moment would be.

“I can’t tell you how happy this makes me,” Mom about cried. “You two look so precious together. Now smile.”

I smiled on cue, unsure whether Holly would do the same.

Mom took several pictures from different angles, beaming all the while.

With each snap, Holly relaxed a little, allowing my fingers to press more snugly against her waist.

Unfortunately, she realized she’d let her guard down and pulled away from me, blinking rapidly in a daze.

I felt dazed too. For a moment, I’d been able to grasp my dream again.

“I have to go,” she said breathlessly while pointing toward the door, then ran out, leaving all her things behind.

As soon as the door shut, Mom cockily asked, “Now who is the best wingman?” She and Dad high-fived again. “Did you see that?” Mom was so proud of herself. “She wants him.”

I shook my head, wishing but unable to believe her. And the last thing I wanted was to fuel Mom’s wingman fire.

“Your mom’s right,” Dad agreed. “Now go close the biggest deal of your life.”

“I’m on it.”

“I’m not talking about Artemis.” Dad winked.

“What happened to you two?” I pointed between them, feeling like I hardly recognized my own parents.

Mom snuggled against Dad. “We just want to see you and Holly happy.”

I wanted that too—especially Holly’s happiness. I was just afraid she would never find it with me.