Merry Little Hate Notes

Chapter Sixteen

brANDON

“HELLO, brAN,” CARMEN’S VOICE ECHOED through the lobby of the bustling gym, cutting through the clanking of weights and the steady hum of treadmills. She burst in like a force of nature, her presence as striking as a nor’easter. With what little she was wearing, she obviously hadn’t noticed the biting cold and swirling snow outside. The gazes of every man in the gym gravitated toward her. Meanwhile, I couldn’t take my eyes off the shivering beauty by her side, wrapped up in a long puffer coat, flecks of snow melting in her glossy ebony hair that she’d pulled up into a messy bun. Thoughts of how I’d like to warm her up crossed my mind, but I put those ideas on hold, knowing I was lucky she’d even let me come tonight.

When Holly blushed and smiled at me, it made it worth the exorbitant fee I’d just paid for a membership—especially considering I didn’t even live here. Perhaps that wouldn’t be the case soon. I’d move back to Colorado in a heartbeat if Holly wanted me to. But I was trying not to get ahead of myself. My wingman had vehemently warned me to proceed with caution, although she was impressed I’d gotten this far. Of course, she was taking credit for most of it. And I don’t think she was going to count this as a success unless I convinced Holly to come to my parents’ Christmas party. Mom said it was all she wanted for Christmas, which now had me questioning the private cooking lessons with a world-renowned chef I’d purchased—a nice mother-son bonding activity. I felt like I hardly knew my mom and I’d hoped this would help us grow closer together, but like me, all she wanted for Christmas was Holly.

Carmen zoomed my way, with Holly trailing behind. “Looking good, Bran.” Her eyes roved over me as she drew an invisible line with her finger that started at my head and ended at my shins.

Holly rolled her eyes at her friend.

Carmen and Holly’s friendship had never made sense to me—they were opposites in almost every way. My mom said every woman needed a trouble buddy, and I supposed that’s what Carmen was to Holly. Admittedly, I was envious of Carmen. After she moved into the neighborhood during my junior year in high school, I saw a lot less of Holly.

“Hello, Carmen.” I sidestepped her to get closer to the reason I’d agreed to a night of yoga. “Hi, Holly.”

Holly bit her lip and, to my pleasure, perused me in my trainer shorts and tank. I wanted to make it abundantly clear I could compete with Josh Duhamel.

“Hi,” Holly said breathily.

“Are you ready for this?” Carmen smacked my arm.

“I think so.” I kept my eyes on Holly.

Carmen erupted into a roaring laugh. “We’ll see.”

How hard could yoga be? I thought. I’d run a couple of marathons and could bench 220.

“You deserve some torture after messing with my best friend,” Carmen added with an impish grin.

I swallowed hard, waiting for Carmen to bring up the kiss. It surprised me Holly hadn’t brought up our first and only kiss yet and how I’d made her believe it was only a dare. Not that I wasn’t grateful for that. I hoped it would buy me some time until I could tell her the truth. Honestly, what surprised me more was that she hadn’t sought her revenge. Maybe that’s what tonight was about, given the evil glint in Carmen’s eyes. Had Holly lured me here to get even?

“You’re right,” I agreed with Carmen .

“Huh?” My comment took Carmen aback.

“We should probably head to the yoga studio,” Holly chirped nervously.

Carmen quickly forgot about me and squealed, “I can’t wait for you to meet Marco.” She grabbed Holly’s hand and pulled her through the gym.

I followed after them while Holly snuck glances at me, questions running rampant in her eyes. I hoped she would give me the chance to offer her answers, even if they were uncomfortable and painted me in a bad light.

Carmen halted us all in front of the glass studio wall. “There he is.” She gazed in awe.

I peeked into the semi-dark studio lit by dim red lights to see a lone shirtless, tatted, ripped-to-the-core man doing what looked like tai chi. The dude had some skills.

“Oh. My. Gosh. He’s beautiful.” Carmen fanned herself. “Don’t you think?” she asked Holly.

“Um ... yeah.” Holly didn’t sound all that enthusiastic in her agreement. “Your parents will definitely hate him.”

“I know.” Carmen dreamily sighed. “All I have to do is get him to ask me out. Let’s get in there so I can get up close and personal with him. Brandon, don’t come near me. I don’t want to give Marco the wrong impression.”

“No problem.” I would happily stay glued to Holly, who was now shedding her coat and revealing her lithe body in yoga pants and a sports bra. I had to do my best not to ogle her. But dang, did she look good. Now I knew why they called it hot yoga. “Here, let me take your coat for you.” I tried to be a gentleman while staving off the ungentlemanly thoughts buzzing through my mind.

Holly cautiously handed me her coat, still unsure about me.

Carmen left us in the dust and ran into the small room with lockers that gave access to the studio.

“She’s a little excited.” Holly laughed.

“Apparently.” I opened the door for Holly.

We walked in to find that Carmen had jetted into the studio, but she had some competition. Two other women were speaking about how they wanted Marco to make all their Christmas dreams a reality. Both rushed to grab yoga mats off the wall.

“Things are about to get interesting,” Holly whispered.

I couldn’t care less about Carmen’s love-life dilemma. I had my own to worry about.

We watched as the two women hurried into the studio while several others filed in, all early for class.

I had a feeling most of the women weren’t coming just to work out.

Holly and I crammed our things into a locker before each grabbing a large black yoga mat. When we entered the studio warmed by several heating panels, it smelled of burned incense, and the sound of relaxing ocean waves filled the space. I had a feeling I was in for an experience unlike any other I’d had at the gym.

“Let’s get spots in the back.” Holly tiptoed across the wood floor in her bare feet.

While my focus was on the woman I loved, it was hard not to notice the large group of women swelling at the front of the studio, surrounding the raised platform Marco was on. He’d dispensed with his tai chi and was now talking to his admirers in what sounded to me like a fake European accent while casually stroking his long dreadlocks as if he’d practiced it. I couldn’t believe Carmen, or any woman, would fall for his act.

At least Holly appeared to be sane and rolled her eyes at the scene. “He might take the top spot as her parents’ worst nightmare.”

I chuckled, feeling bad for the Garcias. Although, Mr. Garcia had stopped me a couple of days ago when I was pulling out of my parents’ driveway and asked if I was still single, and if I’d be interested in Carmen. The answer was a resounding no.

“The light and love in me sees the light and love within you,” Marco said in an otherworldly voice, making all the women swoon.

“I bet he’s sharing the light with a lot of those women. Carmen should be careful,” I warned.

Holly sat on her unrolled mat, pensively watching Carmen cozy up to Marco as she outlined one of the tattoos on his bare chest with her finger. “I think you’re right. This is too cringey to watch. ”

I agreed, so I kept my eyes squarely focused on Holly, who was now seated on her mat and gracefully extending her arms and legs, stretching them in a fluid move as if she’d choreographed it.

I sat on my mat under one of the heat panels hovering over every space. It wasn’t as hot as watching Holly. All I had to say was, Merry Christmas to me. I hoped she would invite me back for yoga, even if I had to endure Marco’s crazed groupies.

Holly noticed me watching her and became self-conscious. “What?” She blushed.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Says the man who thinks I have a case of RGF and November face.”

“Says the woman who once called me a slut and a bull’s pizzle. Besides, I’ve always found the Grinch attractive, and November is my favorite month.”

Holly giggled. “Uh-huh.”

“It’s true. The Grinch’s yellow eyes are oddly alluring,” I teased her. “Of course, they aren’t as fine as your blue eyes.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re beautiful,” I said sincerely.

She twirled a tendril of her hair. “You’re not so bad yourself. You know, for a cloakbag of guts.”

“You and your Shakespeare,” I chuckled. It felt strange to speak about the notes so freely. I hoped it was moving us toward being more open with one another. Although I enjoyed her cleverly mean humor, perhaps someday we could even move past the hate notes.

“Shakespeare was the master of insults.” Holly stretched and lengthened to reach well beyond her feet.

I couldn’t help but stare at the elegant contours of her body and the smooth skin on her back. I held my breath and balled my fists, reminding myself this was a look, do not touch scenario. Watching her was the sweetest torture around, and always had been.

It was probably a good thing when Marco said, “Welcome, everyone. Thank you for coming tonight and sharing your energy with the class.”

His groupies scattered and landed on their mats, sitting up and crossing their legs. Holly did the same, and I followed suit. Carmen made sure she was right next to the platform in front of the mirror where she could admire herself.

“You need to ask yourself, what brings you to the mat tonight?”

That was a simple answer. I smiled over at my reason. She was grinning as if she knew I was staring at her, but she didn’t dare look my way. Holly was incredibly adorable. And sexy—so sexy, because she didn’t know it.

Marco replaced the ocean-wave sounds with some upbeat music. It’s not what I expected for a yoga class. “Everyone stand at the edge of your mat,” he instructed in that phony accent of his that made most of the women in the class fan themselves.

Holly whispered over to me with way too much glee, “Prepare to get wrecked.”

Her warning didn’t intimidate me at all. She, on the other hand, scared the living daylights out of me. Or at least the thought that she would never know how I truly felt about her scared me.

Marco did several rounds of breathing while we placed our hands together and brought them to our hearts. It looked as if we were all praying. There was nothing difficult about it at all, except we were supposed to keep our eyes closed and all I wanted to do was gaze at Holly. The breathing exercises lulled me into a false sense of security. Soon my ego got checked hard core when Marco started saying words I’d never heard like chaturanga and vinyasa . All I know is the man was running us through a series of planks to what he called a baby cobra and then downward facing dog, all in quick succession and repeated several times in a row. He called this a flow, and he did it so fluidly he made it look easy. I did my best to look like I knew what I was doing, but the way Holly’s lips kept twitching, I assumed I looked like an imbecile.

When that torture was over, Marco expected us to do standing splits and hold it indefinitely without touching the ground. I thought I had excellent balance, but the best I could do was lift one hand off the ground, and even then, I kept faltering. Meanwhile, Holly looked like a pro, both of her hands wrapped around her right ankle while her left leg stood perfectly straight in the air. She was a vision .

Holly tilted her head and caught me peering at her. She offered me a thoughtful glance that had me wishing we could skip to the part where she trusted me so we could share the light and love together. That was if I survived the class.

Marco started asking the impossible, all the way from scorpion pose to headstands. The flexibility and core strength of the people in the class had me astounded. Holly was right—I felt wrecked by the end, shaking and breathing hard. When Marco called for the corpse pose, I collapsed onto the mat, feeling as if part of me had died—mostly my ego.

Holly was good enough to keep her smirks and snickering to a minimum. Being knocked down a few notches was totally worth it, though, to see Holly move so beautifully—and watching the beads of sweat glistening and trickling down her face and body was a sight to behold.

The best part came when we stretched out our arms while we breathed deeply in and out. Marco turned the lights down, and the music became more sensual and rhythmic while he chanted Om, shanti, shanti, shanti repeatedly in the background. Holly’s and my fingertips touched, barely dancing with each other’s as if they ached to intertwine but didn’t dare. It felt like a metaphor for our entire relationship.

Holly stared wide-eyed at me while the sparks from the tips of our fingers seemed to ignite the air between us. The questions in her eyes swirled ever fiercer, begging to be acknowledged and answered. Somehow, I seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. She’d silently asked me the same question the night I’d kissed her— Is this real?

My answer was the same that night as it was at this very moment—it was all real. But this time I knew how to answer.

“I’m not going anywhere.”