Merry Mended Hearts (Santa’s Radio Christmas Romance #1)

18. Grace

GRACE

“I was married once,” he said. “We lived in Deer Lodge. My wife was a nurse, and I did some custom farming for a local farmer. He hired me to run his equipment for him during harvest. I did other odd jobs here and there, and we got by.”

“What happened?” I was almost afraid to ask. “Did you get divorced?”

Was that why he was hiding up here? He’d said he lived here for a few years.

“Amy was pregnant with our first child. She got hit by a car.”

My hands flew to my mouth. I gasped and moved away from him so I could see his face.

“Boone, I’m so sorry.”

Pain lingered in his eyes. He cast his gaze to the empty rocking chair. “I lost them both that night. And I knew I couldn’t stay there in our apartment when traces of her were everywhere I turned.

“I’d grown up here in West Hills, and no one else in my family was living up at this cottage anymore. Junie’s mom owns the property. She signed the cottage over to me, no questions asked.”

I rested a hand on his shoulder. “Boone, that’s heartbreaking. I’m so very sorry. How long ago was that?”

He inhaled, long and deep. I felt his chest expand beside me.

“We were young. I moved to work on a ranch just out of high school, and then she and I married a few years later. About three years ago now. And Grace?”

“Yes?”

His fingers found my hand again. He pressed his palm to mine, wove our fingers together once more, and lifted my hand to his lips.

My heart wedged in my throat. I could only stare at his espresso eyes peeking over our joined hands. I could only revel in the feel of his lips against my skin.

“Junie has tried getting me to date, but you’re the first woman I’ve really even touched since I lost my wife.”

He lowered our hands, keeping mine in his.

Time dispelled. Heat from his touch expanded in my chest and gave my heart a few extra beats. More like ten-thousand extra. My breathing quickened, trying to keep up.

“I’m honored,” I said. To be touched by a man like Boone was something to be cherished.

The pieces of his erratic behavior began to make sense. I could understand why this time of year was so hard for him, and why he’d been so on edge. It sounded like he didn’t give his affection lightly.

What was it about me that made him want to give in now?

He angled his body toward me. His hand roved to my neck, cradling my face.

“What about you?” he asked, keeping his mouth close to my ear. “You said you’ve never been married?”

I shivered. “No. I don’t date much. I don’t meet many guys while being boxed in at that call center. I just sit at a desk and talk to stranger who want to buy stuff our company offers or who have problems with their products.”

It felt so ludicrous talking about something so mundane when he was holding me like this. But I couldn’t seem to stop prattling.

“Have you ever thought of leaving?” he asked. “Of doing something else?”

“I…want to.” Saying the word ‘want’ while he was this close was unraveling. My prattling went on since I couldn’t seem to manage anything else. “I know a lot of authors don’t make a living off their books, but some do. I intend to be one of them.”

Boone moved away, but the desire burning in his eyes was no better than the muddling proximity of his cheek against my temple had been.

His attention was fully on me. With the care used for handling delicate things, he brushed a hair away from my face, sending another shiver down my spine.

“And the guy your mom was trying to set you up with? You don’t regret not meeting him?”

My lids fluttered. Why was he asking this when he was looking at me like that?

“I’m not a fan of blind dates,” I managed to say, though my voice was breathy.

He inched in. “So you aren’t with anyone?”

The room grew darker from the fading firelight. Boone’s head tilted. His eyes flicked to my mouth.

“No,” I breathed.

“Then you won’t mind if I kiss you?” His lids half-lowered. The gleam in his eyes turned sultry and ravenous all at once.

My fingertips tingled. I couldn’t speak. My gaze was trapped in his.

My lips parted, allowing breath passage. I hoped that was answer enough—I couldn’t manage more than that.

Boone took it. His hand slid to my jaw, and he guided my chin upward just enough.

I pounded inside with anticipation. Worry and want warred within me. I worried I’d be no good at this. I wanted him so badly I could hardly process a single thought.

With slow deliberation, I let my lids close completely, giving him my wordless acceptance.

His breath coaxed my skin as he edged ever nearer. And then his lips touched mine with exquisite agony. His mouth was just a brushstroke, as gentle as a wave upon the sand. The pressure was light enough to tease but present enough to make me want more.

I didn’t want to rush this. I didn’t want to take too much too soon. So I let him lead, resting my hands on his chest as his hands cradled my face, and he allowed his lips to introduce themselves.

They pressed once, twice, three times in gentle motion. And the third time, they lingered. The intensity changed, then. Boone gathered me to his chest, pulling me onto his lap where I’d wanted to go all along.

I wove my fingers into his hair, allowing him to deepen the kiss, to explore and take as much as he wanted. He pushed me so I was the one sitting nearest to the table, pressed into the couch as he parted my mouth with his.

His hand settled on my stomach, his fingers tracing my ribs. His kiss was hungry. Ravenous. And mine kept right up. I wanted this kiss to envelop me. I wanted to do nothing but this for as long as we could.

But we were alone here, and considering all that snow outside, we might be alone for a good long while. Even though I craved it, I couldn’t let either of us get too carried away.

This time, I took the lead. I placed my hands on his face, sitting up and savoring the taste of his lips, slowing the tempo.

He angled his head, familiarizing his mouth with mine. My entire body lit up with his every touch, illuminating my awareness and luring me in like a hypnotic song.

His lips were velvet. His hands were harnesses. I felt myself wanting to cave, to burrow in this exact place and stay for a while. But we couldn’t let things go too far.

I couldn’t let things go too far.

Gradually, the kiss slowed. I let my mouth linger, relishing the feel of his against mine, intaking his breath, feeling his pulse rattle before drawing away. His eyes smoldered. His lips were swollen, and his mouth smirked in an inquisitive kind of way like he wasn’t done exploring me yet.

Heaven help me.

“Wow,” I said with a breath, sitting back, needing the space between us.

“What?”

“You…”

“Me, what?”

He nipped another kiss. I gripped his shoulders and pressed my forehead against his.

“I’ve never been kissed like that before. It was…” Boone was going to overtake me if I wasn’t careful.

This was dangerous.

“You’re incredible,” he said, stealing another kiss.

I ground my fingers into his shoulder and pushed him back. How could I say what I needed to?

“Tonight has been magical. Like something from a story, and I want to make sure we don’t take things to a place we’ll regret.”

“We won’t,” he said, pressing another kiss to my mouth. “I promise.”

Each time, each kiss was more decadent than the last. It grew to the point where I was ever more certain I could thoroughly enjoy kissing this man for the rest of my life.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” he said against my mouth.

“No?”

“No.” Whisper-soft, his lips skimmed the surface of mine before dipping in a little bit deeper. “You came out of nowhere, and I haven’t been the same since.”

I decided to be honest. “Me, neither. You’ve been on my mind since the moment we met.”

He cradled my face. “I find that hard to believe, unless you’re referring to my treatment of you. I wasn’t the nicest guy on the planet. I can see why you couldn’t stop thinking of the nasty sleigh driver.”

“I didn’t say you were always nice. In fact, I was ready to make you a villain in my book.”

His rumbling laugh erupted from his chest. “My completely charming personality give you that impression? I think I’d make a pretty remarkable villain.”

“You’d make a remarkable anything. Even if you are on the naughty list.”

He reared back at this, a full smile teasing his lips this time. “Is that what you’d call me? Naughty?”

“You’re not exactly on the nice list.”

“How about now?”

He stole a few more kisses, and I let him, soaking in every sensation and thoroughly enjoying the banter he interjected in between.

When he pulled away, I held my breath captive in my lungs. My heart was a rabbit’s hind foot, hammering against my ribs. I could go on like this all night, kissing him, chattering playfully in between, but something told me that would be a very bad idea.

His thumbs stroked my jaw.

“Excuse me, Grace, but I think I’d better go sleep in my room and let you have the couch. Are you warm enough now?”

His smile lingered, but this time it didn’t reach his eyes. It mingled with just a hint of pain.

I couldn’t figure out what caused such a look.

“Warm enough” was an understatement if I’d ever heard one. What just happened between us? And how had it happened?

“I—I am.”

He sat up. Carefully, he gathered my hands to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of the hand nearest him before standing. I straightened as well, feeling a wave of sheepishness at how we’d gone from sitting side by side to…that.

“All right, then. Good night.”

I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to reach for him, to keep his hands with mine, to convince him he could stay a little longer.

But he was right to go. I’d had enough confusion from him to last a lifetime.

That didn’t mean I didn’t want more—and from the way his smoldering eyes kept glancing at me, so did he.

Yeah. It would be better if he left.

With a final glance and a nod, he stepped through the door, closing it behind him and leaving me alone in his toasty warm front room.

Nestled in his spot, with his thick blanket tucked up to my chin, I stared at the door for a long time, lost in thought. This entire day had been one helping of unexpected after another.

This side of Boone made so much more sense than any of the other interactions I’d had with him thus far. He was kind, helpful, thoughtful, and he’d been so honest about his late wife and baby.

How devastating that must have been for him. No wonder he wanted to hide himself away from the world.

I watched the fire’s dying embers, burning inside right along with them. While the room was colder and emptier without him, a little flame all its own burned inside my heart.

Traces of him still lingered—not only on my lips, but in my bloodstream, spiking my pulse with his name in every beat. Even so, he’d mentioned getting carried away. What did he mean by that?

Was he saying he’d only kissed me because of our snowed-in situation?

Disappointment settled in, right there beneath the blanket with me, and I watched the fire’s dying embers, feeling the flame that had burned inside my heart die out a little, too.

Trapped in this adorable cottage in the middle of a snowstorm the day before Christmas Eve? What could be more romantic than that?

I’d been sure I was wrong about him—that he was no villain.

I’d been ready to make him my hero. But I couldn’t allow myself to get carried away.

The truth was, we’d both been caught up in the moment. We’d been sitting too close to one another, and with the attraction stringing between us since we’d met, sense had gone out the window right along with the storm outside.

That was all it had been. I couldn’t read more into it than that.