Merry Mix-Up (Holiday Hearts)

9. Jade

9

JADE

D ecember 8th

Newt was running late on his trip back from the city. He sent me a text and told me to meet him at the gazebo next to Santa's workshop—which was on the town square next to the bleachers set up for folks to view the parade. They brought in the little shed they'd painted to look like a north pole workshop every year and parked it on the same spot. Kids would line up all hours of the day to sit on some strange man's lap and tell him what they wanted. It was weird, but it was tradition. I was pretty sure Amber and I were two of those kids at one point in our lives.

When he found me, I was seated and the parade was underway. I draped a blanket over the empty spot next to me to make it look like my seatmate was just off using the porta potty or something, so he had a spot saved for him. He climbed the bleachers and squeezed past the soccer moms with their little kids and finally collapsed next to me, toting a cup of cocoa in each hand.

"Long day?" I asked, taking a cup of cocoa from him as he sipped from the other one.

"My God, traffic was awful, and getting into Danville just as a parade is starting is a nightmare too." He settled next to me at a comfortable distance and I sipped the cocoa he'd brought. It wasn't scalding, but it wasn't lukewarm yet. It was the perfect temperature to enjoy without burning my mouth, though he probably didn't plan it that way.

"How'd the meeting go?" I asked him, because this morning, he seemed so rushed to get out of my apartment, I figured it was pretty important.

"Ah, well I have a client who is pretty particular and if things don’t go his way exactly how he wants them to, he throws a fit. I know how to handle him, though. Now, it's a Saturday and I'm on a date with a very beautiful woman. I'd rather talk about the parade than work." He bumped into my shoulder with his and I smiled at his compliment.

"Okay, well you missed the firetrucks. They were covered in tinsel and holly. And the parade always opens with Santa, so you missed him too." I took a long swig of the cocoa and detected a hint of peppermint. I should have been flattered that he'd been talking to someone who knew Amber thinking it was me. But this one I had to pass on. I disliked peppermint in my cocoa, but I'd drink it and be thankful.

"Ah, well Santa was the highlight for me, and the Clydesdales." Newt gave me a cheeky grin, and I snickered.

"You didn't miss those yet." We watched a few floats roll past, then listened to the cacophony of the Danville Marching Band as they played a few upbeat Christmas tunes. A person joined the party to my right, so I had to scoot closer to him, and Newt put his arm around me. It was nice and I felt warmer, but I was a bit nervous someone would see us like this.

"Will you be helping make the centerpieces?" I asked as my eyes scanned the crowd. I was no longer able to enjoy the parade like a normal person because I was too busy fearing someone who knew Amber would see me snuggled up to Newt and tell Derek. I hated that feeling, especially because I should have been able to just get lost with this man and fall freely.

"Uh, I think so, barring any other work emergencies." He pulled me closer and leaned in. "I heard there's a really hot woman going to be there to help. I wouldn't miss that for the world."

I blushed and hung my head. He was so sweet. The compliments felt so amazing, but in the back of my mind I wondered if he knew I was the "wild child" with rainbow hair, would he feel the same way?

It felt like a dangerous conversation. I knew we'd make the centerpieces at Mr. and Mrs. Phillips's house, and Naomi would leave with Jared when the wedding party left after finishing. It would leave me and Newt in too comfortable of a position. He'd want to cuddle or talk, and it would lead to kissing and then more. I wanted it. I desperately craved it. But I spent the whole day today thinking as I was sewing Naomi's gown, and I knew Amber was right. Newt had to be off limits if for no other reason than I couldn't hurt him. I didn’t know what situation he went through with his ex or how she hurt him, but I didn't want to be that woman. I even tried to tell him the truth, but the work emergency sprang up.

"Oh, we need playlists!" I blurted out as the first thing that popped into my mind. Here and now was not the place to have that conversation about my real identity. It needed to happen, sooner rather than later, but the holiday parade was loud and there were too many people around.

"Oh yeah. You're right. I told the DJ love songs, but we should probably have Christmas love songs. That Mariah one, maybe?"

"You've got to be kidding me," I groaned as if he were murdering me. "That song is hideous. Who even likes it?" I laughed, and he tickled my side.

"It's better than the one by Wham!" Newt started singing, "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day–" I elbowed him and took his hand, forcing him to stand.

The parade was almost over and I wanted to beat the crowds. I led him down the stands and past the trash can where we tossed our empty cups. He held my hand, though I couldn’t feel the warmth of his hands because of the mittens I wore. We walked down the sidewalk away from the noisy crowd and into the dark side street where I'd parked my car.

"You know, I haven't had this much fun at a Christmas parade in years. Thank you for inviting me. I probably would have sat at home watching reruns of old sitcoms or something." Our arms dangled between us as we walked, and he kept in step with me. We passed Santa's workshop, closed for business since Santa was at the other end of the parade route right now.

"Aw, it was my pleasure. I know you and Nomie love the holidays so much. I was never much of a believer, but I loved the gifts." The way his dimple peeked through his stubble was so cute. I wanted to pinch his cheeks.

"You mean you never believed in Santa at all?" I gasped in feigned shock and pressed my other gloved hand to my chest.

Newt sucked in a deep breath and blew out a puff of frosty air. "No, can't say I did. My first encounter with Santa was when I was super young. I walked into the bathroom at a Macy's and saw a man dressed up like Santa fixing his beard. He barked something about privacy and I knew at that point that it was all a sham. His name was Bob and he worked for Honda. Found that out later that day when Dad invited him for steaks. Never forget that."

I laughed so hard I might have peed a little and found myself hugging his bicep and leaning on his shoulder. I didn't care if the story was made up or real. We were really bonding.

"I was a hardcore believer long after my sister stopped believing. I think I was eleven or twelve when the mirage cracked and I found out Mom and Dad were the ones playing Santa's elves." The memory was a fond one now, though at the time I was devastated.

"How'd you figure it out?" Newt asked, and he covered my gloved hands with his and patted them.

"Well, I happened upon Mom and Dad's gift-hiding spot in the garage and saw they bought me a sewing machine that year. My first one ever, and man, had I begged for one. I told Santa in my letter that it was all I wanted." I sighed. "Fast forward to Christmas morning, and I opened a package that said From Santa , and it was the very machine I found in the garage. Kabam . That was it. Magic ruined."

The ice crunched under my feet as we stopped by my car, fixed thanks to Dad's handiness with a few tools, and I looked up at Newt's confused expression.

"Sewing machine, huh? That sounds more like your sister."

The lie snaked around my chest and squeezed me until I cleared my throat to avoid looking guilty. "Yeah, she and I were more alike back then. She went off the deep end into designing her own clothes and I… well…" I let my voice fade out as he reached up and cupped my face.

"Let me come home with you again. I really want to be with you tonight." The request was so sincere and heartfelt, I hated saying no, but I had to. It was bad enough that we were in public together, but going back to my place meant getting so much more wrapped up in this. I had to pump the breaks to protect him—and my sister's reputation.

"I'm sorry, Newt. I can't tonight." I gave no explanation or excuse, but I did rise up to peck him on the cheek.

He turned and caught my lips in a scorching kiss that took my breath for a moment. Then he said, "Alright, but if you change your mind, call me. I'll come any time." Newt backed away, and I lowered to my flat feet. He walked backward for a few steps as I watched and felt the heat of his presence dissipate the farther he got. Eventually, he turned and continued with his back to me, but I stood there for a few more minutes feeling torn.

I hated myself.

I really liked him, like… I thought I might be falling in love with him. And Amber would kill me because everyone in this town who knew her knew she was with Derek. Neither of them were even home for the holidays yet, though. But if someone saw me kissing Newt like that and it got back to any of them, it would hurt a lot of people. I couldn't let that happen, which meant I had to deny myself. At least until Amber came home and cleared this up.

But it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do in my life.