Merry With A Milkman (Love Beach, Holiday Collection)

Five

five

Tegan

E ven with the wine fueled fuzz in my brain, I knew I’d shock Rhone with my admission. I didn’t want to wait to tell him. Need him to know. As I watch his mouth open and close, I bite back a giggle. He looks so much like a fish out of water.

“Tegan?” Releasing my hand, he sits back.

I rest my hands on my knees, clutching the fabric of my skirt. This moment felt easier when I’d played it out in my brain. In real life, I wonder if I made a mistake.

No. I won’t believe that. What I’ve done, what I’ve said tonight is no mistake. He’s the one and deserves to know.

“Rhone, yes I’ve had too much to drink but I know what I’m saying. And why I’m telling you this tonight. Let me get this out. I don’t want anything from you tonight. Just listen, okay?” I pause before I ramble too much and wait until his half-smile lightens the confusion lowering his brows. He nods once.

A deep breath calms the nerves dancing in my chest. It feels like my future depends on this singular moment. “As long as I’ve known about sex, I’ve known I would wait until I met ‘the’ person who I would call mine.

“It really hasn’t been that difficult. Oh, don’t worry. I have a strong sex drive. One that I’ve always taken care of myself. My, uh, toy drawer has a nice variety.”

He chuckles and reaches toward the coffee table to tug the glass candy cane from the dying flower arrangement. He strokes one finger along the thick curve. “I see this one hasn’t made it to your drawer yet.”

“That’s just a decoration for the flowers.”

“Uh huh. If you say so.”

Good thing I don’t blush easily otherwise his knowing expression would make my cheeks blaze flaming red. He strokes the clear red and white striped toy and I can’t tear my gaze from the smooth movement of his long fingers. Finally, I find my voice again. “How do you know?”

With a sigh he places the candy cane on the coffee table. “My last relationship.”

The sinking of my heart nearly makes me regret my decision. Catching the inside of my cheek between my teeth, I wait for him to continue.

“She had a variety of toys, too. Sometimes we played together so I’ve got an, uh, a working knowledge.”

No matter what the answer does to my soul, I have to know. “Rhone, why aren’t you still together?”

He winces and his expression tightens. I hit a nerve but it’s too late to take back my words. After a long moment he says, “Seems that while I was deployed her toys weren’t enough to keep her satisfied. Turns out I wasn’t enough.”

“I’m so sorry.” I am. Sorry that he went through an obviously painful breakup. But I’m not sorry because now he’s here with me.

“I’ve put it behind me. Haven’t been serious about a woman since then.”

“Until me?” Dear god, please let him say yes.

There’s no hesitation. “Until you.”

“Good. Because you’re the man I want to destroy my official v-card. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to share the moment with until you. You feel… right. I’m glad I waited for you.”

“Tegan, I… we… you’ve been…”

“Oh, I don’t mean right this minute, Rhone. Yeah, I’m buzzed and my decision making is probably impaired. There’s no way you’d know if my consent is real. I don’t want anything dulling my senses when we’re together. I want to remember every touch, every feeling, every emotion. Everything you give me.”

He casts down his gaze. “You honor me.”

“If you say you’re not worthy, I will have to punch you.”

Ah, there it is. His easy smile. “If you still want me when the time comes, I promise to give you everything you desire.”

His voice drops when he says desire, sending trills of longing straight to my lady bits. “Everything?”

“Maybe more.”

“You think I’m not going to remember this discussion, don’t you?”

His shrug confirms his belief.

I’ll show him. I struggle to my knees on the worn couch cushion and balance myself with my hands on his shoulders. “I’ve waited too long for you. I won’t forget. Now, I’m gonna seal that promise with a kiss.”

Rhone meets me halfway and I press my lips to his. One of his hands cups the back of my head while he lets me control our first kiss. I touch my tongue to the tiny separation of his lips and he opens for me, allowing me to explore and chase his tongue until I’m breathless. “Oh my,” I whisper against his lips before easing back.

“I need to leave,” he says. There’s a delightful reluctance in his tone. “You need to sleep.”

“I know. Will you tuck me in? Give me a goodnight kiss?”

His thickly fringed eyelids lower to hide his dark eyes. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please? I’ll sleep so much better.”

“I won’t,” he mumbles. “Go on then. Get into bed. Let me know when you’re ready.”

“Don’t sneak out.” The fear he might just do that holds me frozen in place.

A shift in his expression shows I’d hit the mark again. “Tegan, go to bed.”

Nodding, I stand and wait a few seconds for my wobbly knees to steady. I don’t know if it’s still the wine or if now I’m drunk from the kiss. Either way I don’t want to waste time, so I turn and hurry to my bedroom. In my bathroom I change into sweatpants and an oversized tee shirt. Rhone can’t accuse me of trying to seduce him while wearing this.

When I peek from the bedroom, he’s standing at the kitchen island. I clear my throat. “I’m ready.”

By the time he steps through the doorway I’m pulling my fuzzy blanket up under my chin.

“Sleep well, Tegan,” he says softly as he bends to straighten the blanket and press a lingering kiss to my forehead.

“Good night, Rhone. I’m going to dream about you.”

His rough chuckle settles over me and my eyes drift closed. I listen to the soft rustle of his movements as he leaves the bedroom. A moment later the outer door opens and closes. He rattles the knob to check that the lock catches. I love how he’s taking care of me.

With the memory of his face filling my brain, I shift to my side and smile. I love this man of mine.