Michael (Wild Men #8)

Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Michael

I’ve been at Lucky Cowboy for nearly two hours, and I’ve been nursing a single glass of whiskey the entire time. Not so for Emery.

The women were already drinking hard when we arrived, but Jamie Beth ordered a pitcher of beer when the guys and I arrived, and only the ladies drank. Cooper and Chase want to be fresh for the rodeo, Luke isn’t a big drinker, and I’m enjoying being sober and watching how cute Emery is drunk.

Because my girl is hammered.

At one point, she and Jamie Beth get up onto the bar and dance to a popular country song.

“Emery’s fun,” Cooper says next to me.

I look over at him. He’s staring up at the bar with a grin on his face, and I’m about to tell him to stop looking at my girl like that.

But when I pay closer attention to the line of his gaze, I realize he isn’t looking at Emery.

“Since when did you catch feelings for Jamie Beth?” I say to him quietly .

“Fuck off, Michael.”

Cooper is good-natured ninety-nine percent of the time, so when he reacts defensively, I know I’ve touched a nerve.

“I won’t say a word,” I promise him. “I’ve got my own stuff to deal with.”

“You and Emery?” Cooper says back. “What’s that about?”

“I like her.” I’m surprised the words come out of me so honestly.

Cooper raises his eyebrows, and he looks so much like Luke I nearly smile.

“That’s good,” he says. “I’m happy for you.”

I’m happy, too. I just don’t know what to do about our looming expiration date.

As the song ends, Emery and Jamie Beth jump off the bar, and Emery flies into my arms.

I catch her, and she kisses me hard.

“That was so much fun!” she says.

I grin at her. “I’m glad.”

I find myself grinning a lot since I met Emery. I used to honest-to-God go days without cracking a smile.

Emery leans her head back against my chest, and I put my arm around her.

She whispers something I can’t hear.

“What’s that, babe?” I bend my head closer to her mouth.

“Those tequila shots are really hitting me hard,” she murmurs. “I don’t usually drink hard alcohol.”

I glance over at Sophia and Jamie Beth, who are still pounding their drinks. I have an idea where all the free-flowing alcohol came from.

“Do you want me to take you home?” I ask Emery.

“Please.”

We say our goodbyes, with Emery needing my arm around her to stay upright.

She falls asleep in the truck on the way home to the ranch. By the time I park in front of her cabin, her hair is covering her face, and she’s slouched over with one cheek pressed against the side window.

I get out of the truck and walk around to the passenger side. All her weight is against the window, so I open the door slowly and take her in my arms when she pitches forward.

She snuggles into my chest, and I carry her to her cabin, realizing too late I don’t have her key.

“Emery,” I whisper to her.

“Mmm.”

“Honey, where’s your key?”

She slides down my body until she’s standing and starts fishing through her purse that’s slung over her shoulder.

She produces a key and hands it to me, and I unlock her door.

Once we’re inside, I lead her through the living area and into her bedroom.

“Michael, did I really dance on top of the bar?” she mumbles as I take off her shoes and cut-off shorts and help her into bed.

I chuckle. “You did. And you looked damn hot doing it.”

She puts her hand to her forehead. “Oh God. I can’t believe I did that.”

I pull the sheets up to her chin.

I’m about to tell her good night when she pats the empty side of the bed. “Aren’t you going to stay over?”

I don’t want to leave her.

“If you want me to.”

“Of course I want you to. Come here.”

I pull my t-shirt over my head, step out of my shoes and jeans, and climb into bed next to her.

She immediately turns and buries her head in my chest. “You always smell so good,” she says.

And now my dick is on alert. “So do you. ”

She reaches for me, but I gently catch her wrist.

“Not when you’re drunk,” I whisper.

“Tomorrow?” she asks sweetly.

“Tomorrow,” I promise. “Go to sleep.”

“Good night, Michael.”

“Good night, Mimi.”

I shift her so she’s not pressing up against my growing erection, and then I go perfectly still until her breathing evens out.

Holding her like this makes me smile. I feel more at peace than I can remember feeling since before my dad died. I’ve been on a hamster wheel, running as fast as I can, and hoping the grief I’ve put at bay will never catch up to me. I never made the time to grieve my father’s passing. I never wanted to.

Getting up before it’s light out, working a job that takes everything out of me physically so all I can do is crash into bed at the end of the night…helped me to cope. It also helped me to avoid the pain.

So I’ve held on to it. All these years, I never really broke down and cried over him.

But I do now. With Emery sleeping peacefully in my arms, I allow myself a few tears. Not a sob fest. But real tears. I brush them away just as quickly as they appear, and when they’re gone, thoughts start coming hard and fast in my mind.

I always thought I loved being on the boat more than I could ever love any person, but I’m starting to question myself. If I love it so much, why have I been so unhappy?

Ayden and I had a conversation a while back, right before he and Bella went from best friends to lovers. The memory hits me hard now.

“You don’t get it, do you?” I growled at Ayden. “You and Mom and everyone else want me to quit fishing because it’s dangerous.”

“I never asked you to quit,” Ayden said. “I said my extra money will help to lessen the pressure on you so that, if there’s a fucking storm outside, you can stay home and not worry about the loss of income. All I suggested was you be more careful—on stormy days or when the waves are brutally rough…”

“That’s like asking a football player to always throw the ball away when he’s being rushed,” I said. “A quarterback tries to make the best pass. And sometimes, that means he’s going to put himself in danger of being hit. And sometimes, he’ll be hit. Right?”

“Except I don’t play football anymore,” Ayden said.

“Because you didn’t love it the way I love to fish.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “And I know you enjoy landscaping and it’s a passion of yours. But the truth is, Ayd, there’s only one thing you love the way I love the boat. Are you smart enough to know what it is?”

Immediately, Ayden’s expression changed. His eyes flashed with emotion the way they only ever do when he’s thinking about Bella. He wasn’t willing to admit to himself yet that she was his world. But I knew even if he didn’t.

“That feeling right there?” I said to him. “The one that just rushed across your damn mug about a certain little girl who was always your best friend but who’s now a beautiful woman? That, my little brother, is how I feel about fishing.”

Ayden stared at me like he was finally realizing what he should have known ages ago.

“I don’t have a Bella in my life,” I told him. “Most of us aren’t that lucky. So you better hold onto her, and don’t fucking let her go.” I clapped his back. “And I’m going to do the same with my boat. Okay? Even if it’s dangerous, even if it’s the biggest risk I’ll ever take, I can’t give it up.”

Ayden sucked in a breath.

“Just like you need Bella to breathe,” I said to him. “I need to fish.”

Emery makes a cute little sound in her sleep, dragging my attention out of the past .

I run my fingers through her midnight hair, the strands soft against my calluses.

That conversation with Ayden feels like a lifetime ago.

He took my advice and never looked back. He would have committed to Bella anyway—they were meant to be. But he didn’t push me away when I put the truth in his face.

I’m not sure I’m that courageous. I tend to push everyone away, even when they’re well-meaning.

But I haven’t pushed Emery away.

Not yet.

I know myself, though.

I may not be pushing her away, but I’m keeping her at arms’ length with our temporary arrangement.

And someday soon, I’m going to have to make a decision about whether I’m willing to go all in.

Because if I don’t, I’m going to lose her.