Midnight Daffodil (Poisonous Petals #1)

Chapter 19Olivia

nineteen

OLIVIA

I n the weeks that followed Matt’s brutal tirade, much of it was a blur. He called specialists to tend to me, feed, bathe, and keep me clothed and warm in the approaching Seattle winter. He doted on me and acted like he didn’t beat me within an inch of my life.

I had seen more doctors than I could count; the memories of conversations and cold hands on my bare skin came back to me in flashes.

Memories of Matt’s hands reaching for me in the walk in shower; my screams pierced the air, uncontrollable and raw. His delusions constantly told him that he never hurt me that bad. His eyes widened; the shock and realization shattered that facade for a fleeting moment.

The doctor who’d seen me made me physically sick. His fingers were ice on my body as he prodded my swollen torso, simultaneously joking with Matt.

“You can probably try to conceive once the cracked ribs heal, so in about six weeks, if she doesn’t piss you off again,” he said as if he was talking about an animal.

Ribs. Plural.

“Yes, that would be ideal,” was all Matt said. He’d become more determined than ever to pump his spawn into me, which made the nausea come back. I couldn’t let that happen. Jumping off the balcony was an even better option.

“That’s the hardest part of pregnancy. Forget the fact they gain weight and have veins sticking out where they shouldn’t, but the knowing you can’t relieve the stress of a long day on ‘em.” The doctor shook his head, chuckling. “They get so fragile. It’s a damn shame.”

Nausea clawed at my insides, just recollecting the conversation.

Lance Brooks was one of the top physicians working for the biggest hospital in Seattle. He was a professor, a mentor, all the things society loved. He reeked of privilege and money. And he was exactly like Matt. He treated my body like nothing more than a soulless vessel meant only to incubate Matt’s kid.

Dr. Brooks had a closed case that Matt helped him with. I didn’t know the specifics, but I knew that someone was always there to keep all his dirty little secrets whenever Matt needed a favor. I thought about the events of that night once more, shivering under my heated blanket.

Three weeks passed.

I couldn’t sleep on my back or my side. So, sitting upright was my new normal; my ribs hurt every time I inhaled like a sharp knife stabbing into my lung. Dr. Brooks had given me medication for it, but it seemed to do nothing. As time progressed, I continuously felt better while being cautious of my healing ribs.

I shakily swung my legs over the side of the bed. Matt was at work, so I had some time to myself to start thinking. I wanted out of this situation for good. Matt was never going to let me go willingly; that was clear.

I carefully moved my bruised body out of bed and into the bathroom. Pain shot through me with every step, a constant reminder of the price I paid staying with Matt. I forced myself to endure every searing step I took.

I hobbled into the bathroom and took my oversized t-shirt off. The bruises that streamed down the right side of my body made my chest recoil.

Dark marks blossomed just beneath my breast, snaking around my side and tracing a path along my back. They curved down towards my hip, then veered across my stomach, leading to the lower abdomen. I grabbed the phone from Vera and snapped photos and videos of my body. I needed to remind myself of these during every moment of weakness I was bound to have in the upcoming months. I needed to move on, or this would be all that people had to remember me by.

I snapped photos of my face, capturing the dark blemishes and cuts; I vowed this would be the last time I hid Matt’s secrets beneath a mask. My body had gone through so much in the last year, I grew concerned that I might be invincible.

A bath sounded heavenly.

I cranked the water up and lit a candle as the tub filled with bubbles. Once the bath was perfect, I stepped in, letting my skin tingle as the hot water cradled me in its warmth. Sinking further in, it draped over my thighs and chest all the way up to my chin. The aroma and effervescing bath salts waltzed across my body.

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to the last bath I’d taken.

Luke.

God, would he hate me after how stupid I was?

Even Matt thought I was a whore. And he made sure to remind me every chance he got. He told me I was stained, only able to be cleaned with bleach, and barely wanted to touch me.

Fine by me.

Matt described my night with Luke as something dirty that I should’ve been ashamed of. But to me, it felt like more than just sex. When I was in his arms, every broken piece of me was welded back into place. No matter what Matt tried, he couldn’t break that.

And he hated me for it.

You shouldn’t have ever left Luke.

I glanced at the phone, quickly looking away.

Text him.

I dried my hand off on the towel hanging over the edge. I picked the phone up and looked at Vera’s many messages. I replied to each one and told her I’d call her later. I scrolled through the contacts until I got to Luke’s name. I saved his number before throwing away the crumbled sticky mess of a note he left me. I started a message.

Me: I’m sorry for how I left

“Ugh,” I scoffed out loud. “You sound stupid, Olivia.”

I furiously hit delete and typed out another.

Me: I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay and I’m sorry.

Even dumber.

I repeated that cycle for several minutes before I settled on just texting him?—

Me: hi

I sat back and leaned my head against the tub, the water turning tepid.

He’s not gonna respond.

Not only did I send a vague, stupid message, but I didn’t even say who it was.

Stupid.

“I don’t even care,” I said out loud.

Lies.

It felt like an eternity passed. The phone mocked me as it sat on the edge of the tub. I snatched it up in my wet hands, looking at the time that had lapsed since my message. Surely, it had been over thirty minutes.

It had been one.

So, maybe I was being a bit dramatic. Embarrassed by my eagerness, I nearly gave up—until those three tantalizing dots bounced on the screen.

God, he’s typing!

Would he hit me with the dreaded “Who’s this?” The anxious thoughts bounced around as I stared at the screen, waiting.

The dots stopped.

They started up again.

Typing. Not typing.

Typing. Not typing.

“Ugh,” I exclaimed, letting out a groan. I set the phone back down with shaky hands and drained some of the water out of the tub. Once it was halfway down, I turned the water to full heat and added more bubble bath and salts.

Texting him was a dumb idea. And the water would never be hot enough to scorch Luke out of my system. I’d always be able to feel every single part of me that his hands touched. Heat and steam pricked my skin as I curled into myself in the bathwater. Tears stung the corners of my eyes.

Why do I even want to cry?

“You’re pathetic, Olivia,” I said out loud as I dipped my head under to wet my hair. I submerged again, letting the warmth envelop me.

Movement caught my eye just outside of the white, bubbly surface. I carefully and slowly sat up, lifting my head out of the water using both hands to smooth bubbles out of my face and eyes. Matt sat on the closed toilet, studying me intensely.

“You look sexy when you do that.” He smirked. “Were you putting on a little show for me, sweet girl?”

God, he was gross and delusional.

I was about to respond when ding .

I had a text.

His eyes didn’t leave mine as he gazed at me dreamily. I urged myself not to look at the phone.

Just act normal .

I smiled weakly and nodded at his statement, gagging inside.

“I knew it. It’s been too long since you’ve had a real man please you, hasn’t it?” He stood resting his hip against the half wall separating the tub and toilet with his hands in his pocket. He tilted his head slightly to the side as he smiled down at me.

I just nodded. God, I could vomit.

“Soon. Maybe that’ll be the time we conceive. Who knows,” Matt chuckled. “Then we can start planning a wedding.”

“So soon?” I said, trying my best to sound eager and innocent. “Won’t people talk if I’m showing?”

He thought for a moment.

“Perhaps you are right; maybe we should make arrangements a bit quicker than anticipated,” he said as my phone dinged twice. He glanced down and furrowed his brow.

I shifted in the water, drawing his attention back to me. His eyes raked over my bruised chest, which heaved slightly below the surface. My stomach tightened.

“Could you tell me what you mean by that?” I asked, acting dumb as my phone dinged two more times. Please, don’t look, I urged Matt in my mind.

He came closer to me, sitting on the tub just past the phone right in front of me. He placed his hand on my cheek, and I flinched slightly. His face fell, and his shoulders sagged.

“I’d never hurt you, baby.” He kissed each bruise. The irony was almost funny.

Almost.

My face twitched in repulsion.

“I meant we should probably announce an engagement immediately. Before you’re pregnant,” his words hung heavy in the air, “we'll have our wedding in six months, and if you’re carrying my prodigy by then, you won’t be too far along. You’ll still be gorgeous to me on our wedding day.”

He kissed my cheeks. Every time he touched me, I felt like unzipping my skin and throwing it in an incinerator. I’d rather have none than be stuck with the flesh he tainted.

So many things were wrong with what he said, having a shotgun wedding with him? No thanks. And prodigy? Who did Matt think he was?

His face twisted into something familiar as he gripped the back of my neck tightly. “Is there something on your mind?”

I trembled in the hot water, shaking my head. “No, I was j-ju-just th-th-thinking about family and friends who would be able to attend on such short notice.”

He turned on the faucet, adding hot water, assuming I was shaking from the tepid bath. The room was ten degrees cooler the moment his icy soul stepped in. He was the problem.

The phone went off repeatedly.

Damnit.

After turning the water off, Matt shifted to face me when his backside brushed the phone. What happened next felt like it happened in slow motion. I watched the iPhone tumble towards the water, flipping a couple of times as it fell, finally reaching the bubbles perched and frothing on the water’s surface.

Today was my lucky day.

I urged for time to move faster; time had to move faster for once.

Matt saw, too, as his slim, manicured fingers fumbled for the phone as it fell. “Shit, Livie, why the fuck do you even have this in here?” he scolded me as he caught it.

And the universe proves to me once again that it hates me.

As gracefully as my shaking hands would allow, I dried them on the towel and reached for the phone. I knew better not to snatch it, but I needed to get that shit out of his possession.

“I know. I’m sorry, I…” I couldn’t think. I could never fucking think, and that was the fatal flaw in the fabric of my being. “I had it in here in case you called me. I wanted to make sure I didn’t keep you waiting. I want you to trust me again.”

The tears welled up in my eyes to make it convincing. Matt's harsh expression changed enough for my pulse to settle; he peered up at the ceiling as if desperately trying to calm down.

“I don’t blame you. That monster raped you.” Christ, here we go . He continued, “You shouldn’t have been near him. Someone like him has no control.” He looked at me, his pupils shrunk to tiny dots in his eyes. “I’m still waiting for you to report that.”

Every nerve was on fire inside me.

He was still holding my phone when he glanced down at it. Just then, the screen lit up with another ding. Matt looked at the message, confusion scratching his features.

“Who’s Melanie?”

My voice wavered as I answered, “I met her when I was shopping for makeup a few months ago. I wanted a full coverage foundation, but they didn’t have it in my shade. I told her I needed it, so we exchanged numbers for when it was back in stock.”

The story was only partially a lie. I needed heavy makeup, and they’d run out of my color when I was there last time with Vera. But the person behind those messages was not Melanie.

It was Luke.

Thank God I did one thing right and saved his name as a woman on both my phones. Luckily, Vera bought me the same iPhone that Matt did so I could have both out at different times. Matt was too far up his own ass to notice.

“Ah, I see. Do you need me to get the foundation for you?” He studied my face and set my phone down. “You’ll need it.”

A chill ran through me.

His familiar habits and empty promises painted a clear picture; the realization hit me like a cold gust of wind—he would never change.

“I was hoping to get it with Vera in a week or so. She’s been wanting to see me, but I haven’t been letting her in,” I said, recalling the night she knocked for two hours.

That satisfied him. He took my face in his hands and kissed my nose. “That nosey bitch. I’m proud of you for ignoring her. She doesn’t comprehend it when we have our quarrels. She doesn’t have the cognitive ability to understand us, Livie baby.”

Ew.

I just nodded.

“If you continue being as good as you’ve been the last few weeks, I’ll allow you to invite some of your family and even your pig friend. Not everyone, obviously, but at least your parents and Vera; that’s if she’s capable of being civilized,” he said, brushing my matted curly hair back out of my bruised face.

“Thank you,” I said as he moved toward the bathroom door.

“I’d do anything for you, Livie. I love you so much. Your heart and soul will always be mine.” He smiled at me over his shoulder in the doorway.

Something about that statement didn’t feel like a declaration of love.

It felt like a threat.