Midnight Daffodil (Poisonous Petals #1)

Chapter 21Olivia

twenty-one

OLIVIA

T he day finally came!

I pranced through the house with excitement, pausing at the bathroom mirror to look at myself. The bruises on my ribcage were still a mess, but my face healed. Tonight, I was heading out with Vera, ready to kick off my "It's time to get the hell outta here" plan.

I quickly dressed in a sweatshirt and matching skirt for the night out with Vera. Just a chill evening with drinks and appetizers—nothing wild. I kept my plan to myself; I didn't want to fuck it up like before. With the holiday season approaching, I knew I didn't want to be with Matt. Determination to be happy pumped through me.

“I love seeing you glow, my sweet girl.” Matt stood in the bedroom doorway, looking at me. “This is the woman I fell in love with. One who does herself up to look good for her man.”

He licked his lips, wild green eyes never leaving mine, holding out his black card to me. Instead of gagging, I smiled and hugged him, feigning the role of the perfect girlfriend. I made him think I was still hurting too much for anything intimate, and he bought it. He waited patiently, convinced that I was here to stay.

“It’s what you deserve,” I said, forcing the words out and accepting the card.

“Yes. Take the card and go out. But you know the rules, only spend time with Vera. I know I have your location, but it never hurts to remind you of what happens when you disobey me.” His snake like green eyes pierced through me, ready to strike.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” I choked out the words.

He pulled me into him, and I could smell his clean, leathery scent with a hint of ocean. The smell that I once gravitated towards now made my stomach knot. The only thing I wanted enveloping me was Luke, all cedarwood and tattoos.

Soon.

He’d be leaving for the office to complete paperwork for another sleaze bag that paid him top dollar. All thoughts of Matt vacated my body, floating away to be replaced by another core memory.

I needed Luke. Not the money or fancy lifestyle.

Luke had quietly taken refuge in my heart, weaving through my soul. I felt a sense of safety with him, and the rush he brought me was unlike anything I'd ever felt.

I flounced through the hall, into the elevator, and down to the main level, where I knew Vera was waiting for me. I shoved both phones in my purse as I speed walked out of the building, stopping when I got to the doorman. He looked at me with a wink like he knew I was different this time.

Vera stood outside her car, causing a traffic jam as a chorus of angry honks filled the air. I sprinted towards her.

“I missed you a million!” she screeched as I jumped into her arms.

“I missed you too!” I ran around the front of her car, hopping into the passenger seat.

Butterflies floated through my belly; my body relaxed against the interior. The city looked different. Instead of the typical dirty streets, I saw endless possibilities. I could get a job, open a bank account, and do what women my age should be doing.

I’d be free.

“You still with me, girl?” Vera glanced my way, switched off the ignition, and turned to face me in the car's dim light. I hadn’t realized we’d parked already.

“Yeah, I’m with you. Sorry, I spaced out.”

“Don’t think too hard if that’s what it does to you.” She laughed. “Let’s go in. I’m itching for a fucking drink and some food!” Vera got out of the vehicle and started towards the door. I followed.

The restaurant buzzed with the sounds and smells of fried foods and bodies. Booths lined the walls, and a bar sat in the middle.

We slid into the smooth bench seats, and Vera immediately ordered two mystery cocktails. Moments later, they arrived in fish bowl shaped cups. I took a huge sip, the cold liquid burning down my throat. I looked up at Vera, who’d already drunk half of hers.

She sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. “God, I needed that fucking drink.”

I laughed because I did, too. “Yeah, I’ll be getting several of these tonight.”

She started the night off by ordering us several appetizers. “Are you gonna want an actual meal tonight, or do you wanna nibble on apps the entire time?” she asked when the waitress scurried off with our first round of orders.

“I’m fine with just appetizers. That sounds delicious, something hot, fried, and greasy,” I said. “Tell me something I don’t know. Tell me about work.”

“Ohh, the tea has been hot as hell.”

She told me about a new Realtor’s drama. She oversaw training the newbie, and apparently, the woman was twice our age and awful at dealing with the hurdles a Realtor goes through when selling houses.

It sounded hilarious from where I sat, but I could only imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for the potential buyer. By the time our food arrived at the table, I wheezed, holding my bruised ribs as I laughed harder than I had in months.

“Are you serious when you say she was that rude?” I snorted.

“Yes! And she didn’t even think she was being rude. I’m like, what the hell is wrong with this woman? A realtor’s job is to deal with the public. I depend on word of mouth and social media to gain clients. And our clientele is a high one, like duh, we’re in Seattle.” Vera chewed open mouthed on a hot mozzarella stick as cheese stuck to her chin. “Shit, this is hot.”

I went for one of the wings, dunking it in ranch.

“So, I know you told me you were talking to Officer Orgasm God; how is that going?”

“I was waiting for you to ask that. He’s so sweet, he listens, and he makes me feel all those warm and fuzzy feelings that you avoid like the plague.” I got lost in a daydream, reliving the texts with Luke.

“Gag, gross. But I’m happy for you. Although I can’t imagine him being sweet.” She wolfed down several more mozzarella sticks. “He was an ass when I stopped by.”

“You stopped by? What for? God, Vera, what’d you say to him?” My grip tightened, squeezing the cheese out of the fried appetizer.

“To explain why you ran off,” she said, her eyes crinkling with amusement as she let out a light, airy laugh. “Someone had to.”

“Vera.” My voice pitched. “This isn’t high school. I can’t have you speaking for me. Matt has done that enough.”

Her frown deepened, her eyes flicking to the crowded restaurant, then back to me.

“I guess you’re right. I just care about you. I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely audible as she licked grease off her fingers. “I wish I’d been there for you that night. To see Matt get his shit kicked in.”

Luke amazed me with the way he jumped to defend me, no questions asked. All tall, dark, and muscular. When he turned to me and asked Who did this to you, Olivia? I actually felt feminism vacate my body. I wouldn’t forget the way his blue eyes met mine or the way he held me in his powerful arms.

For the first time, I felt like a real life princess. Luke’s arms the castle, and his protective soul was the sky above us.

“I couldn’t believe how fast his fists moved.”

“Oh my God. I love that. It gives me touch my girl and die vibes. What girl doesn’t get soaked at that?” she swooned. “And it helps that he’s hot. Not as hot as his partner, but still.”

“Mmm, that’s right, you were into Aidan,” I teased.

“I’d love to see what he’s packing. He’s sex with a handgun. We texted for a bit, but I don’t know. I was getting the feeling he was too young for me and only trying to get his dick wet.”

I cocked a brow at her. “I thought that’s what you wanted?”

She thought for a moment, sipping on her now empty drink. “Yeah, but it's different when that’s what I want. It makes me feel like a cheap hoe when they wanna use me.”

“That’s a double standard if I ever heard one.” She had a thing for Mr. Damsel and didn’t want to admit it to herself or me. “Come on, you don’t want to give Olive, Oatmeal, and Noodle a daddy?”

She gasped, eyes going wide, before bursting into a fit of giggles. “I need you to know it’s taking everything in me not to throw this plate at you. I’d never expose my children to a one night stand, let alone let someone father them.”

We traipsed through a multitude of topics. Vera told me more about work and the creepy houses she’d seen, swearing she took an entity home. We even talked a bit about what life would be like when I was finally able to rid myself of the hundred eighty pound man I was trapped with.

“So, I know you have a plan cooking in that pretty little head of yours. You don’t have to tell me what it is, but I wanna talk about dating. You gotta see what’s out there; it’s a trip.” She laughed, snatching my phone.

“What? What’re you doing?” I asked, trying to look over the table to see.

“I’m downloading a dating app, adding sexy pictures of you, and creating a profile.”

“What? I don’t want that though; what about … what about …” I couldn’t finish the sentence before my heart skipped a beat.

What about Luke?

“Uh-huh. Your sexy cop wearing the tight button-ups carrying you through the threshold of the police station? I haven’t forgotten about him. But you could also take the opportunity to experience life. Did you seriously want to jump into a relationship right after the rollercoaster you went through?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

When I wasn’t contemplating how I would get away from Matt, I thought about Luke and what that night meant. I sensed something powerful brewing beneath the surface between us. I knew what she meant, but my heart was set.

I wanted Luke.

My thoughts rushed back to what Vera had said. I knew how it seemed on the outside, but on the inside, my heart screamed his name. Luke was an anomaly. I wanted him in all aspects; the more I got to know him, the more I realized he wasn’t just a beautiful exterior, but his being was whole and genuine. Matt was all I’d ever known. And Luke was so…

Not Matt.

“I’m happy with Luke,” I said, my head moving side to side as if trying to dispel any doubts. I couldn’t make eye contact with her.

I had to start standing up for myself. If I couldn't do it with Vera, how could I do it with anyone in my life? My people pleasing tendencies are what got me into the five year mess I was fighting my way out of.

“I don’t want any dating apps, Vera,” I said sternly. “I feel something with Luke.”

“But imagine all the options you’d have. You’re freaking hot,” she told me with a wink.

I didn't feel like arguing about it any longer. I had to stop letting people control what I did, and as much as I loved her, that included Vera too.

“I don’t care.”

“Come on, don’t be like that; it’s not like I’m making you swim with sharks. Just a few dates, and we can shit talk all of the men who don’t meet your hunky cop’s high standards.”

“Vera.” I clasped my hands together in my lap. “I can make my own decisions. And you’re the one with impossible standards, not me.” I joked, hoping to ease the blow.

“And that’s why I stay single.”

She called the waitress back over and ordered us more drinks and appetizers. We spent the rest of the night discussing her coworkers and all the jobs I could do once I was out, including working with her.

“Did you wanna get out of here and go shopping or something?” Vera asked, finishing up her fourth drink of the night.

I’d been picking at the food and sipping at mine, no longer sporting an appetite. The whirlwind of changes coming my way was starting to engulf me. I needed to focus on taking things one step at a time.

“Yeah, there’s a Target around here. I’d be down to get a couple of things,” I said, a cold chill running through me. Gooseflesh spread across my skin, even under my clothes.

“Don’t overthink things. Everything will fall into place. I’m sorry if I upset you tonight.” Her eyes followed my hand as I signed, paying the bill. “I’m not trying to overstep. And I recognize I have a bad habit of doing it sometimes.”

I nodded, accepting what she said. Vera had a strong personality. She always meant well.

We climbed in her Lexus, the night air chilling my face. She whipped the car around as she pulled into the street and drove to the department store. It wasn’t far; pop music played on the radio, and I hummed along to the songs, thinking about the weeks to come.

We pulled into the parking lot and strolled into the Target.

“What did you want to look at?”

I thought for a moment. “A few things actually, maybe some bras and panties and some clothes that I could keep at your place.”

I grabbed all the things I'd need for the upcoming weeks, making sure I had enough outfits to keep me covered. I even tossed a few extra items into my cart, ready with an excuse if Matt questioned the purchase. He always paid the bill in full with barely a second glance, but I needed to be smarter this time. We left Target and headed to a gas station, where I filled her tank.

Thanks, Matt.

I made an excuse to go inside while she finished pumping and went to the ATM in the corner by the restrooms. I tried not to look shady as I stood in front of the machine and tucked Matt’s black card into the slot. It asked so many questions that my head spun.

How much could you take out at a time at an ATM?

I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything about the real world. I felt another panic attack coming on.

“Are you almost finished?” A man from behind me asked. His blonde hair and blue eyes reminded me of a scholar. He frowned at me. Although he appeared calm, his tone brimmed with impatience.

“I–” words lodged in my throat.

“First time using an ATM?” His expression remained neutral, his pale eyes studying mine.

What if this guy knew Matt? What if this was a client or a colleague? My eyes darted around, heart racing, feeling like a freak at the gas station.

I felt the first tear slip over my cheek, and the confused stranger looked at me as if the very existence of me and my emotions annoyed him.

“I don’t know how much to withdraw, sorry,” I muttered, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

His forehead creased, his head cocked to the side. “Most ATMs let you do three thousand—some a little more, some a little less. Five hundred is always a safe bet. You could try a few options and see if it’ll let you. The worst that’ll happen is it declines,” he explained, his tone drier than his facial expression.

I never felt more stupid in my life.

I followed his instructions and tried an even grand. I’d need some starter money. I needed to make this happen soon, or I’d change my mind again.

Sure enough, ten hundred dollar bills spat out of the machine. I completed the transaction, pocketed the money and the card, and thanked the man.

“No problem.” He smiled, but it never met his eyes.

I turned, attempting to hide my trepidation.

“Be careful out there.” I whipped my head back around at his voice. His fingers flew across the ATM screen, and cash flitted out in hundreds. A duffel bag I hadn’t noticed before sat at his feet. He flipped through his wallet to pocket his withdrawn money, dropping his ID on the ground. The plastic card slid over to me, and I bent to pick it up.

Reign Hart.

Before I could hand the ID back to him, it was snatched from my hand.

The air turned eerie; a thousand prickles on the back of my neck told me to run.

“Sorry,” I muttered at the perfect stranger who screamed all sorts of red flags. Red flags that reminded me of Matt.

“Thanks,” he said, shoving it and the cash into his wallet. He took the duffel bag into his arms, refusing to meet my gaze. “Seattle is a city full of dangerous men.” The corner of his mouth twitched, revealing a smile reminiscent of a terrifying clown. “You should be less trusting of strangers in gas stations.”

My heart pounded in my ears, leaving me speechless. He turned away from me, nothing but a cloud of cologne in the wake.

That was fucking scary. Apparently, this is the real world you’ve been wanting to experience so badly, Olivia. Better get used to it.

I couldn't help but assume anyone who wasn't Luke was trying to lure me into another trap. I kept my eyes on the stranger until he disappeared into a foreign car with a name I couldn’t pronounce; then, I hurried back to Vera's car, practically running on air.

The heat instantly warmed my face as I got in, slamming the door.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Some guy in there was acting weird, that’s all,” I said, avoiding her gaze. She didn’t need to know about yet another pathetic moment I’d had.

She giggled. “Was he flirting? Omg, was he cute? You’re gonna have them lining up for you in no time.”

God, she has no idea how wrong she is.

I wanted only one person in that line, and it wasn’t creepy gas station Reign. What kind of name was that anyways?

The rest of the drive passed in silence. We reached my building, exchanged brief goodbyes, and I collected my things, trudging up to my apartment. My mind focused on Luke—he seemed to have his life together, while I felt like a wreck of a woman.

Me: I feel like such a mess tonight.

I waited for the response as the elevator went up to my floor. Luke responded just as the door opened into the hallway.

Him: You’re perfect. There’ll be hard days, but you’re not alone.

It buzzed again, another message from him.

Him: You’re an angel, a sweet tasting one at that.

He was almost too good to be true. Tears stung my eyes.

Me: kinda think you deserve better though …

Him: angel, you are better.

The message made my skin hot. As badly as I wanted to continue, I silenced my cell and put it away. The moment I stepped into my apartment and dropped my bags, tears streamed down my face.

“Baby, you’re home earlier than expected,” Matt greeted me as he stepped out of the office. His smile dropped when he saw my face. “What happened?”

The tears came on faster and harder as the last few years caught up to me. My life tethered on the brink of a massive shift, and the fear almost paralyzed me. Matt had been awful, but his awfulness was familiar. I didn’t know how cruel life could get because he sheltered me from it.

I had to leave him. Matt would never change.

That knowledge only increased the soul shattering sadness. My world was turning on its axis. Overstimulated, my knees hit the hard floor with a crack. Anguish plagued me; tears blurred my vision. I couldn’t get air to my lungs quick enough to stave off the panic.

“Did that horse of a friend do something to you?” Concern was written on his face as he knelt, touching my back tenderly.

Why was Matt being so loving to me?

“I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Not an entire lie.

“Hmm. Yes. I can get you medication for that. Maybe an anxiety pill to help you. You won’t have to leave the house if it’s too much for you. I can provide for you forever,” he whispered, guiding me to the bed.

He helped me wash my makeup off in the bathroom. “You’re beautiful to me.”

I hated this feeling. It screamed at me that things were different and that he would change.

As Matt tucked me under my heated blanket and turned on a comfort sitcom for me to fall asleep to, I knew I needed to leave him. The aroma of the tea he set down on the bedside table wafted over to my nose. Chamomile and honey with two teaspoons of sugar. He knew everything there was to know about me. I knew he was being nice like this to reel me back in.

What’ll everyone say? You’ll have a failed relationship. No job. Money you stole. You’ll be nothing .

The voice in my mind played repeatedly as the tears spilled onto the pillow. The coolness of the silk fabric soothed my stinging face. Another voice came over the choir of self doubt. Rising higher than all the others.

You’re an angel.

The calm washed over me as Luke entered my mind; the heaviness of the situation still hung thick in the air. But he was the balm that soothed my aching soul. I knew what I needed to do.

Tonight, I needed to break down.

If I ever owed anything to myself, it was to let myself feel.