Midnight Whispers (The Midnight Duology #1)

Chapter 16

16

After the officers enter the cottage, I move to the space behind it and take my leave toward my own home. The mossy floor of the forest disappears as I speed through the trees, my feet practically hovering over the ground. I wasn’t expecting Parker’s body to wash up on the shore, so now the situation needs to be monitored just in case I need to do some damage control. However, I’m good about remaining in the shadows so I don’t know why I would even be on anyone's radar.

I come to a halt as I near the manor. Asher is standing on his balcony and of course, he’s naked. He’s looking around, almost as if he’s taking in the view from around the grounds. His eyes meet mine and he waves with a big smile plastered across his face.

“Put some fucking clothes on, Asher,” I say, not needing to yell because he can hear me from this distance.

“But the weather is so nice,” he groans.

I roll my eyes and finish my walk into the house. For the entirety of our life together, he has enjoyed being without clothing. That’s one of the reasons this residence is a favorite of his; there’s more than enough land that even our nearest neighbor can’t see him.

The darkness from the loss of sunlight begins to take over the inside of the manor, casting shadows throughout the floor of the manor. I walk up one side of the dual staircase and cross across the upper corridor before going down the hallway to my bedroom. This house is too big for us and unnecessary, but I’d never tell Asher that. For whatever reason he has a strong belief that one day we will have enough vampires in our coven to fill the entire house, all nine bedrooms worth. And maybe one day we will. I walk through my bedroom and through the closet into the bathroom. My skin is still sticky with the remnants of dirt from my altercation with Cedar.

Cedar.

My blood boils as I recall the memory from last night.

I turn the knob that controls the shower and move it all the way to hot, warming the water while stripping off my clothing. Once my clothing is all in the hamper, I step into the tile lined shower and adjust the water to the right temperature. The water floods over my cold skin and the dirt and blood washes off me, changing the tile to a dark color momentarily. Once I’m finished, I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist. I must have been in my own world within my mind because I failed to see Asher laying in my bed until I tossed the towel onto it. I’m just thankful he was dressed.

“Oh shit, Ash. You could warn me next time.”

“Vampires are supposed to have heightened senses, how did you not see me or at least realize I was here?” he teases.

“I must have been lost in thought,” I sigh and pull on my underwear. “What can I do for you Ash?”

“I heard someone washed up on the shore. Was that you or was it one of our friends in the area?” He looks at me with a raised brow .

“It was me,” I responded in a disappointed tone.

“That’s a newly made vampire mistake, Finnian. You must be more careful! However, I went down to the coroner and was able to see that he had no bite marks. Why did you kill this one?”

“He hurt someone I care about.”

“The mortal girl?”

“Yes.”

“The one you said you feel the need to protect from Cedar?”

“Yes.”

“You love her?”

“I do,” I responded without hesitation, taking myself by surprise. I don’t even try to lie because the sire bond doesn’t allow us to lie to our makers. Asher understands the gravity of the situation, especially as I admit to him my true feelings for her. The feelings that I just announced for the first time.

His only response is, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“If she is important to you, Finnian, then she is important to me.” He moves off the bed and stands in front of me. “But tell me, what are you truly so afraid of?”

“She’s too good for me, Asher.”

“I don’t believe that. Not for one second.”

“You have not met her. You don’t see the innocence in her eyes, the trust she holds for me. The trust I can so easily ruin by letting go of the grasp I have on my instincts. Asher, I could kill her so easily.”

“But you won’t. It’s taken you far too long to even want to try to love again. Do you honestly believe yourself to be such a monster that you are undeserving of that love?”

“I don’t think I’m deserving of her love.”

“You are.” He takes a deep breath, and I know what is coming next. “What are you going to do about her being a mortal?”

“I have not thought about it enough to know what I’m going to do.”

“You know that’s something you must figure out if you want it to continue. That’s why our kind doesn’t typically pursue anything with mortals. I will always support you,” he says while taking a deep breath. “However, this isn’t something to take lightly. I hope you aren’t being careless about this, especially not while your heart is involved.”

I nod in understanding.. Taking my silence, he ends this conversation. Asher pats me gently on the shoulder and leaves my room. I fall onto my bed and lay flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling for some time. Here, I’m alone with my thoughts. The thoughts that consume me of what kind of a future I want with Lillia, but also what kind of future I’m taking away from her.

She’ll have no children.

There will be no aging.

All I can offer her is me.

Will that be enough?

After some time has passed, I check the clock on my phone, which says just before seven. I decide it’s time to finish getting ready to go back to her house. Dressing in my typical dark jeans and black t-shirt, I make my way down to the library on the first floor. The automatic lights turn on as I open the double doors. The recessed lighting lines the rows of books along the walls and throughout the room.

One of the plus sides to being changed in 1880, is that I have first editions to one of Lillia’s favorite novels. Along the back of the library are several shelves and I look to find the shelf in the very far left corner, where we hold all of the first editions both Asher and I have collected over our many lifetimes. I wrap the first edition of Dracula, the yellow cloth of the cover in great condition, up in a dark blue wrapping paper and finish it off with a chiffon ribbon.

Pausing for a moment, I look around at the collection of books we have accumulated. The life we have lived together has been anything but boring and while I am grateful, I crave more . My chest aches that I don’t have someone, besides Asher, to share all of this with. I close my eyes and let my imagination conjure up the life Lillia and I would share if I were to change her. The rich golden hue of her eyes now crimson with the burning desire for the taste of human blood, only consumed by her thirst. Years down the road, when she was established and had her craving for blood under control, we could travel and see the world.

There was only a small part of me that wanted to change her, but every other part of me screams in disapproval. The moments and experiences she would lose far outweigh the ones she would gain. My stomach knots as I imagine how differently her life could be if I were to change her. We could live together as we are now, never moving forward. On the other hand, she could find someone to grow old with. She could have children and watch them age, continuing her family line that will end with her if I were to change her. I shake my head in hopes that my thoughts would be erased, like my mind is an etch-a-sketch and the images I just created would disappear.

Without saying goodbye to Asher, I make my way back to Lillia’s cottage. My mind is racing while I walk along the forest’s edge, the same thoughts plague me over and over. Even walking at a speed slower than my sprint, I arrived in record time. My stomach is tossing and turning as I get up to the base of her steps. Clutching the copy of Dracula in my hands, my fingers dig into the spine. I release a deep breath, unnecessary but it feels natural. It does absolutely nothing to help the twisting happening right now. Truth be told, I don’t understand why I’m as nervous as I am, but I am practically sick with the nerves.

Raising my hand, I knock a couple of times, and step away from the door. Yelling ensues from the inside of the house, and I recognize it’s not Lillia’s voice, so it must be Flora. She opens the door, and I’m met with the most intense stare. If I’m being honest, this woman is terrifying. With pursed lips, she looks me up and down slowly, starting at my feet and making their way to my face. Lillia comes into view and every nerve I had been feeling leaves my body instantly.

“Good evening, love,” I say, trying to make my voice sound as smooth as possible. “This is for you.”

She extends her hand to the book. I can tell by her facial expression she’s taken back by the gesture. Once she opens it, however, I know she will be floored. Gift giving has always been something that brings me immense joy, but giving Lillia gifts to show her the extent of her importance to me will be my new favorite thing.