Mind Games: The Obsession of Dr Lewis

Chapter 1

Daisy

“What part of I got fired, don't you understand?” I snapped at the cocky little bitch behind the desk.

This is what I hated about the Job Centre. Most of the staff made you feel like a useless scumbag—the dregs of society, begging for a handout.

“You cannot get your benefits straight away. If you got fired, we would need to investigate further. These are the new rules to prevent benefit fraud,” she said in a bored voice.

“And how am I supposed to pay my rent, bills and food in the meantime?”

“You should have thought about that before you got fired. You need to move along. Other people are waiting,” she said, looking past me.

I felt sick when I thought of my monthly bills and the debt I was in. It was no point in verbally abusing this sadistic little cunt, but I hoped she got diseased by a cheating partner with genital warts.

I smiled at the thought and gave her my middle finger before I walked away. The next stop was my doctor to see if they could try to help me with my disability claim. My old coping mechanisms were beginning to fail, and I could see myself crumbling shortly.

◆◆◆

“I've spoken to Dr Cavall, and she will support your application. However, you need to see her first as there are some stipulations about a new therapist.”

I squeezed my head as my doctor’s words sank in. It didn't come as a surprise she knew I was fucking around during our sessions.

Of course, there were stipulations. Why couldn't I get a fucking break?

“Good. I will write out the details for the new psychiatrist,” Dr Johnson said with a cheery smile. “She will cover the rest with you.”

I reluctantly smiled back because he was one of the good ones, and I didn't have many of them in my life. He knew I kept going on and off my meds, but I couldn't help the way my brain was. This must be the fifth therapist I was going to see. I didn't see the point in sharing details of a past I wanted to forget.

What could they offer me? The only thing I would accept was drugs or amnesia.

The memories snuck back, and with them, so did the overwhelming sense of shame, guilt, and anger. I wondered if it was worth going to the supermarket before going to the food bank, as I could use a drink today. Stealing was always a last resort, but there were days when I had difficulty functioning.

◆◆◆

I checked the address on the piece of paper Dr Cavall gave me after she admitted defeat and palmed me onto Dr Lewis. I always felt a sense of achievement when they gave up on me. They lived in a different reality from me. It would help my claim if my doctor and therapist sent their recommendations. Dr Cavall suggested that I ask Dr Lewis for it.

This was one of the fanciest offices I’d been to, and I was uncomfortable before I stepped inside. With a sigh, I walked inside, ignoring the receptionist, who I knew was looking at my dishevelled appearance. By the time I reached the elevator, I was angry enough to stab the lift button several times until my finger hurt. I needed my money until I found another job.

The new hoity-toity therapist could kiss my ass.

This morning, I’d grabbed some clothes from the clean pile, but as I looked down, I saw the creases on them. I tugged at my T-shirt to stretch the material out, but it was useless. I zipped my mismatched light-grey jacket up to hide the creases. My jeans didn't look too bad until I noticed a stain from the ramen noodles I had last night. At least the stolen vodka helped ease some of my tension. I got off at the 6th floor where there were two offices.

Mind Solutions Partnership.

I pushed the glass door open and walked toward the receptionist. She had a perfect smile, and her eyes wandered over me, but her friendly expression didn't change, and I relaxed.

“I have an appointment with Dr Lewis,” I said to her with a tight smile.

“Of course, take a seat. Would you like a drink?”

I almost sighed because it wouldn't be the kind of drink I needed.

“No, thank you,” I said before I walked towards the seating area.

There wasn't a single stain on the carpet, and every piece of glass and gold on the table was polished to perfection. I didn't sit on the comfortable-looking seats but looked out of the windows.

What was the point of it all?

No matter what I tried to do in life, I never managed to complete it. At best, I had menial jobs which just about kept me on top of all my household bills.

“Miss Knight,” A deep voice called my name, pulling me out of my dire and depressing thoughts.

He was tall, dark, and middle-aged. He wore thick-rimmed glasses that he probably didn't need but wore to look intelligent.

No. He wore them to hide his eyes.

He fiddled with the frame as he watched me. His dark hair was combed back with shorter sides, giving him a younger look.

He loved himself.

A lot.

His dark brown fitted suit would make anyone else look like a blob of shit, but he pulled it off with his matching waistcoat and the darker shade of brown shoes.

My guard came up instantly. Although he had a pleasant smile on his face, his eyes told me this guy was not all he seemed.

My stomach dropped as he walked closer, but he paused to scrutinise me before lifting his hand in a greeting as opposed to touching me.

“I’m Dr Lewis, pleased to meet you,” he said with a smile.

I nodded but kept my eyes on his silvery grey eyes.

“Please follow me,” he said and, with that, began to walk towards a corridor.

I shouldn't have pissed Dr Cavall off, now I was stuck with this fairy motherfucker.