Mind Games: The Obsession of Dr Lewis

Chapter 9

Daisy

No matter his ulterior motive, it felt good to share a few moments from my past, but how he held me tightly against him helped me more than I could’ve imagined. Here I was in his basement with a metal collar around my neck, but his embrace and words made me feel safe. I put my arm around his waist. He was hard, strong, warm and comforting.

Maybe I was crazy.

◆◆◆

I woke up alone but well-rested. There was a book about complex PTSD on the pillow beside me. My stuffed bear was tucked into the covers with me, and I hugged him. His words echoed through my mind.

Daddy will help you every step of the way.

For twenty-two years, Tom ruled over my mind. Dr Lewis was allowing me to free myself in his own twisted way. He didn't say anything derogatory about my past, but who knew what he thought? He was shameless in his admission of capturing me.

I would always carry Tom and Violet with me, but perhaps with Dr Lewis’s assistance, he would be a muted voice rather than the roaring, chaotic demon inside me. I closed my eyes.

“This is our little secret.”

“It won't hurt again.”

“Look how wet you are, Daisy. You want this, don't you?”

“You're prettier than your mother. Come and give me a special kiss.”

“Tonight is special. I’m going to fuck you somewhere else. You will love it, Daisy.”

“If you tell anyone, who do you think people will believe? A dirty whore like you or a respectable businessman like me?”

“You are nothing.”

“You are mine.”

“I love you, Daisy. You're so good with your mouth, better than your mum.”

“I know you're awake,” he whispered into my ear as he slid into bed with me. “Your mum is asleep. She didn't believe you. If you tell anyone else, I will hurt you far worse than tonight. I could kill you, and no one would care.”

It wasn't just his voice or nasty laugh. I remembered his weight on top of me. The cruel slaps and pinches, and the times I thought he would choke me to death. His eventual effort to try and make me cum. He loved doing that to me because he knew it broke me a little more each time.

I hated them all, but I hated Violet the most. I couldn't call her mum anymore.

Why didn't she protect me?

My tears soaked the pillow beneath me. I felt weak for crying. That's all I ever did: shed tears for those monsters. I would bet my life on it that they didn't care if I was dead or alive.

I reached for the book Daddy left me because I was tired of allowing them to win.

◆◆◆

I swallowed when the bathtub was full of water. Daddy stood up and began to unbutton my top. He threw it in the corner before he slowly peeled the bottoms down. I almost touched his hair as he did the same with my knickers.

“Get in the tub. The water should be perfect,” he said as he stood up and took my hand.

I held his hand while I stepped into the bubbly water. The bubbles made me smile. He didn't skimp on the bubble bath.

“You did very well today,” he said as he began to rub the washcloth around my neck.

“Thank you, Daddy,” I said as I thought of the bittersweet day.

He paused to pull his sleeve up before he began to wash my breasts, but he didn't use the washcloth. My eyes closed, and I lay back when I felt him spread my legs as he rubbed my pussy. It felt as if he was only washing me until he began to circle his fingers around my clit. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the desperate need for him to finger my pussy. His fingers left my pussy to trail along my ass, and his fingertips rubbed my asshole.

It was all too brief. He picked up the washcloth and began to scrub my skin. He lifted each arm to wash me before doing the same with my back and legs. After he washed and rinsed my hair, I waited for him to ask me again.

“Do you want Daddy to make you cum?” he asked softly.

I couldn't speak, so I shook my head. He controlled everything around me, and this was the only aspect I had control over. I looked at him nervously, but his face was relaxed, and he had a faint smile on his lips.

The rest of the night was similar to the previous one, with the exception of wearing clothes again. He dried me off and put me in pale green pyjamas before tucking me into bed. Some twisted part of me liked the collar because it meant he was keeping me.

“How long will I be living here, Daddy?” I asked as he sat on the bed beside me.

“That depends on you, but a Daddy looks after his little one, and I want to be your forever Daddy,” he said as he picked up a book.

That night, he read to me, and I reached out to hold his hand, but my mind was reeling from the implication of his words.

◆◆◆

The days soon turned into weeks, with good and bad days, but Daddy always had patience with me throughout our sessions as well as the aftermath. He took me to the park. At first, it felt like he was taking a dog out for a walk, but then he took me to the swing park, and I cried the entire way back home because it reminded me of how carefree I used to be as a child. When people began to stare at me, Daddy put his arm around me and tucked my face into his coat.

I didn't feel better until we reached home, and he put on my pyjamas and fluffy socks. He made me hot chocolate, which made me cry again, but he sat me on his lap while I finished it. He didn't say a word as he held me as we lay on my bed. When I woke up, he was gone, but my collar was around my neck.

He never once made me feel foolish for expressing my emotions, and I realised how much I’d held onto. The altercations I had over the years were pent-up anger explosions because I couldn't regulate the conflict within myself.

I only had a vague recollection of my father, and Violet wasn't forthcoming about why they had broken up. Daddy made me feel whole again. My DIY job just wasn't enough anymore.

I wanted Daddy to make me cum tonight.