Misunderstood (Toussaint Mafia #4)

Chapter 8

“ There is no easy way to explain how it feels to live your life with this disorder, but I wrote this book in hopes that it could help someone. My life took a dark path but that wasn’t the end for me. It also doesn’t have to be the end for any of you that is out here in this audience. What I need for you all to do is spread the word about my autobiography Blow Your Mind . It brings awareness to mental disorders and grief. You are not in this alone. Now briefly I can open up the floor to questions,”

Bijou smiled as she sat on the stool inside of the bookstore.

Behind Bijou were herself published book that told the story of how she lost everything before finding true help with her mental disorder while accepting that her daughter was no longer alive. Bijou looked composed and beautiful in her cargo baggy jeans that she sported a grunge retro Rolling Stones t-shirt with that was cut at the side and laced up. Bijou rocked a long wavy sew-in that reached her waist with a fresh glowing face and bright smile.

“I wanted to ask what ever happened to you and the guy from your book? I was sad for both of you when the book ended?” a petite reader expressed with compassion in her eyes for Bijou and her plight.

Everything in Masami was screaming go. No matter how much she liked Bijou she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear about Bijou discussing Lyfe in such a way. But being the masochist she was she stayed. Masami was in town with Maia, her fiancé and his brother for the opening of BedPeace. It was going to be on the strip in Vegas and was a huge deal. Masami wasn’t one to be excited about shit like that but even she couldn’t front. Peace had done his big one with getting a club opened on the coveted strip in Las Vegas. The club was sure to bring in money and Masami was happy for them. Boston wasn’t up to coming because flying made her sick but a lot of the people from the life were flooding Vegas to show Peace and Promise love on their opening night.

When Masami saw online that Bijou was doing a book signing for her autobiography at a local bookstore, she knew she had to attend. Bijou had lived a life that could have been on the big screen—full of hardships, yet she was still standing. That was something to be proud of, and Masami was glad she’d come. She even ran into witty Shameek, who’d become like a friend to her.

“He’s doing well. Like me, he had some dark days, but God is good, and He saved him too. Y’all want me to call him?” Bijou laughed.

“Yes!” most of the women yelled, and Masami swallowed the lump in her throat as Bijou pulled out her phone.

Bijou FaceTime Lyfe, her smile bright enough to chase away anyone’s demons.

“Hey, love,” Lyfe greeted in his deep voice. “You look beautiful,” he added smoothly, and Masami stood, unable to take any more.

Masami quietly exited the bookstore, not in the mood to watch Lyfe be all sweet and charming like only he could, especially with a room full of women or Bijou. She took a small bottle from her purse, took a quick sip, and glanced up and down the busy street. The bookstore was only ten minutes from the strip, but the traffic was still heavy.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting in your feelings, lil sis,” Shameek remarked, stepping outside.

Masami smirked. Call it crazy, but Lyfe had bonded her to Juju and Shameek. They were all friends now, and for someone like Masami—who’d never really had friends outside of her family—it was different, but in a good way. She rolled her eyes as Shameek leaned against the brick building with her.

“It’s not that, and I’m genuinely happy for Juju. Don’t think I’m not. I could never be a hater,” she replied sincerely.

Shameek smiled. “I didn’t say you were. But just 'cause you’re close to Juju don’t mean you can’t still have feelings for Lyfe. Do you?”

Masami shrugged. She hadn’t thought about Lyfe in months. With everything going on with her family, her personal life had taken a backseat. It wasn’t on her mind, and she was okay with that.

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that I want him to be happy—even if it’s with her. I mean, I know he loves her,” she admitted, thinking of how highly Lyfe still spoke of Juju. “I try not to pry, and I’d rather not know. I don’t need all your jokes right now; I’m already messed up. I know he told you about my family saga,” she added, giving a small smile to hide her pain.

Shameek pulled her close, nodding.

“Yeah, and it’s wild. Your family’s messed up like the Jacksons, but you’ll be good. You’re a survivor. That’s why I like you, and in the end, you’re gonna be okay,” he said, his words surprisingly calming her.

Masami could go toe-to-toe with Shameek and his wisecracks any day of the week, but right now, she felt tired. Raw and vulnerable. For the first time since everything happened with her mom’s return, she wanted comfort. But, being a thug at heart, she didn’t quite know how to ask for it. So, Shameek’s words were welcome as she leaned her head onto his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said softly, and Shameek shook his head.

“I don’t need all that. Just know that if the agents come looking for me, I’ma need you to suit up and come protect my black ass,” he joked, making her laugh at the Matrix dig, since he swore she always dressed in all black.

“Whatever. With the way you act, I’ma let them take your ignorant ass.”

“Hey, guys, can you help me with the books?” Bijou asked, poking her head outside.

Masami smiled and turned to her. “Yeah, we’re coming.”

Back inside the bookstore, Shameek took the photos while Masami bagged books for Bijou’s readers. After an hour of running the system, the bookstore was clearing out, and Bijou was ready to wrap up. She rubbed her eyes as Shameek started loading the remaining books into their rental car.

“Thank you for popping up on us. If you hadn’t come girl we would have been fucked. How have you been outside of the family drama?” Bijou asked.

Masami sat back in the folding chair and sighed. She was exhausted from helping Bijou. She had no idea a book signing could be so rigorous on the body, and she wasn’t even the one signing the books. It was like you needed a whole team just to make it through.

“I’ve been okay,” Masami started, then paused, looking over at Bijou. For some reason, she felt comfortable sharing the real truth, not the watered-down version of her life. Masami usually felt like she had to be the mama bear to her sisters, so she didn’t like going to them with her problems. She was still grappling with her mom, Jazmine, coming back, so, as usual, she kept her feelings bottled up. But being around Bijou gave her the freedom to let her thoughts out. Especially since Imani wasn’t around to play therapist. “Honestly, I’m in a space I’ve never been in before. My business was temporarily shut down while they’re investigating, so I had to let my workers go. My family was forced out of the only life we’ve ever known, and my mom’s back from the dead,” Masami snorted. “Oh, and my dad is on the run. So, no, I’m far from okay. I feel like I’m stuck in a realm of confusion and just… winging it.”

Bijou reached over, gently grabbing her hand and giving her a warm smile.

“What I’ve learned is that sometimes God has to remove things to create something new in us. Everything that’s been taken away from you—those were things you were given. You didn’t choose them, right?”

Masami nodded, not having looked at her life that way before. But it was true. The mafia life was something she was born into, and the business was created by her father for his gain.

“But I do love cars,” she added.

“Then open up a shop that reflects you. I never even knew I could be a writer. I just had this intense urge to get my story out there. I wanted to help people like me. I wanted to give them hope, so I bought a laptop, and God did the rest. God will meet you where you’re at, Masami. If you love cars that much, buy another building when this is all over. Create the kind of business you would be proud of—not your father. And give yourself grace to figure it all out. You don’t have to have your life together right now. That’s where I think many of us get it wrong. Something bad happens, and we want it fixed right away. But some things can’t be handled overnight. Know that and accept it. Accept your new reality, Masami. Don’t ignore it, and don’t run from it. That’s the only way I became who I am now. I had to accept that I needed help. I had to accept that my daughter is gone. That gutted me, Masami, but once my heart aligned with my thoughts, my actions became clear. My actions moved me toward healing, and that’s what I want for you, too. Your mom left—let her deal with the weight of that. Your father messed up—let him carry that shame. What Masami needs to do is focus on Masami. That’s it,” Bijou said, her voice filled with conviction.

Masami felt her eyes mist over as she nodded. If a woman who’d lost her daughter could find a way to smile and lift up others, then maybe one day, she would be able to do the same.

“Thank you for that. I see why Lyfe is all into you,” Masami teased with a playful smile.

Bijou rolled her eyes, smirking.

“Ditto. Same could be said about you. Next time I see you, I want to see you smiling and happy. I want to know what it’s like to be around that Masami.”

Masami laughed lightly, wiping away a stray tear. She felt a little weak for crying and opening up, but damn, it was freeing to say how she truly felt.

“Hell, I want to know what it feels like to be that Masami,” she joked—only, she wasn’t really joking. She’d give anything to be that girl.

Later that night, Marcy Falls residents gathered for the opening of BedPeace, flooding the strip with foreign cars and a rich mob lifestyle as they watched Peace and Promise stand in front of the newly remodeled club, now a BedPeace location. Promise played it cool in the background with Maia attached to him at the hip, while Peace held the oversized scissors.

“I wanna send some love to my fine-ass wife. Wish you were here, ma. Sis, cut that ribbon!” Peace said, smirking as Tallulah leaned down to cut the ribbon.

Masami held up her phone steadily so Boston could watch the ribbon cutting. The crowd erupted in applause, snapping photos and cheering Tallulah on.

“Let’s pop some bottles,” Peace remarked, heading inside.

Masami turned the camera back on herself as Boston cried softly on her bed at home.

“Why are you crying?” Masami asked with a smile, already feeling a little buzzed.

In Vegas, there was nothing much to do but drink and gamble, both of which she’d been doing excessively with Nano.

“Because I hate that I couldn’t be there for him. I’ll call you back,” Boston sniffled before ending the call.

Masami shook her head, slipping her phone into her bag. She followed the crowd into BedPeace.

“Wow,” she muttered, admiring the way the club was designed.

It mirrored the Marcy Falls location with its signature hanging beds, but now illuminated clouds covered the ceiling. The bar area on the first floor was draped in cloud-like organza, and Masami could tell it would become the new it spot for celebrities, wealthy socialites, and anyone with money. The vibe was impeccable, and it showed with how everyone was posing for photos near the top-notch decor.

“This is nice, isn’t it? Come see my CBD bar,” Maia said, appearing beside her and pulling her up to the second floor.

Masami held onto Maia’s hand tightly as they traveled through the throngs of people. When they reached Maia’s CBD bar that was next to the bar area Masami smiled. Promise was able to work his magic and make sure Maia’s bar wasn’t taken by the DEA. Masami was happy for her sister and saw how having a man to ride for you was a plus in some ways.

“This is really nice, Maia. I’m happy for you all—this place is gonna do well. Now let’s get some of those gummies. I’m trying to get messed up tonight since we’re leaving in the morning,” she laughed.

Maia, her curves on display in a black lace spandex romper, giggled, a glow about her that wasn’t lost on Masami.

“I already got us some. Now, these are strong, so we gotta stick together—and don’t tell Promise we took them, so act natural. You already know how wild you get on these damn gummies,” she warned with a smirk.

Masami rolled her eyes as she took a gummy from Maia. “I don’t need a lesson on how to handle a gummy. The last ones were just too strong, and I got sick. As long as these are the mellow, chill ones, I’ll be good.”

Maia eyed her, popping her own gummy. “Yeah, okay. But if I end up getting into it with my man, I’ma kick your ass up and down this street,” she joked, leading Masami over to the VIP section on the second floor.

“I see your slutty ass sister-in-law is already on the move looking for her next fool,” Masami frowned watching Tallulah grin all in a niggas face that had his back turned to her.

“Girl that’s Ariz,” Maia smiled.

Ariz, seeming like he had ears tuned to everything around him, turned, and his intense gaze landed on Masami and Maia. Masami froze, staring at him looking fine as hell in the middle of the club. He was dressed in all black—designer leather jeans with a black patchwork Chrome Hearts crew neck—and chains galore. His jewels practically blinded anyone who looked his way, and when he smirked, the diamonds on the bottom row of his grill sparkled, making Masami shake her head.

“This nigga is trouble,” she grumbled.

Maia snickered beside her as they watched Tallulah pull on Ariz arm to garner his attention. Tallulah was damn near naked in her black crop top and matching shorts that half her bottom was hanging from.

“Looks like the good type of trouble to me. I mean if you scared, say that but if you’re not then you better go see what’s up before Tallulahoe sinks her claws into him.”

Masami looked at Maia with furrowed brows.

“That’s Ossa’s best friend. Damn near his brother.”

Maia shrugged.

“And? Shit our blood isn’t running through him. If I wasn’t with Promise I would be all over his ass just like Tallulahoe. You better go get that nigga, before one of these bitches in here do. Or what you waiting for Lyfe to choose you?”

Masami felt irritated by her younger sisters question.

“I’m always in first place. I’m not waiting for no nigga to choose me,” Masami snapped feeling her body start to warm up from the gummy along with the top of her ears. “Let’s get some drinks.”

“Maia, come here real quick. I want you to meet some people,” Promise said, walking over and taking Maia’s hand.

Masami couldn’t even hate—her sister was here for work, not pleasure.

“I’m cool, Maia. I’ma get a drink and have a seat,” she assured her.

Maia looked at Masami with a concerned expression. “You sure you good?”

A smile spread across Masami’s face, and a happiness she hadn’t felt in ages seemed to wash over her.

“I’m good, sis. And I love you so much too. Like, I really freaking love you, girl,” Masami grinned before heading toward the bar.

“Nano, keep an eye on her!” Maia called out as Masami moved away.

At the bar, Masami smiled at the bartender. “I’ll take a double shot of 1942 and a water,” she said, winding her hips to the beat of the rap song playing.

“You good, sis?” Nano asked, coming up beside her.

Masami tilted her head back, gazing up at the cloud-like decor on the ceiling, feeling like it was getting closer. She looked back at Nano and laughed, noticing for the first time just how big his head was—it seemed huge on his body.

“I’m good. And besides all the bullshit, life is great.” Masami grabbed her double shot, downed it, and turned back to Nano with a grin.

“Alright, I’ma be right over there talking with Peace if you need me,” Nano replied before walking off.

Masami ordered another shot and started rubbing her arms. Her skin felt so damn soft—it was crazy. She could hardly believe how good it felt, like velvet.

“Give me a shot of 1942,” Ariz said to the bartender and Masami’s head snapped his way.

She leaned towards him and sniffed his shirt. She tried to take a step back and he grabbed her hips.

“What’s good, Miss 9 th ward? You smelling niggas now and shit?”

Masami giggled so hard she snorted. She reached into her small crossbody and handed Ariz the extra gummy she’d taken from Maia.

“This weed gummy’s got me feeling so good. You should take one and feel good with me.”

Ariz glanced down at the gummy, and Masami placed it between her lips. She rose up on her toes to gain a bit of height, making him chuckle. She half-expected him to back up, but instead, Ariz leaned down, taking the gummy from her lips with his own. Masami felt the room go quiet, like time stood still, as he ate the gummy and gripped her hip.

“You look nice—and happy as hell tonight. But I see you gotta pop a gummy to smile, and I don’t like that. We’re gonna work on that. Come chill with me, or you gonna be on some weird shit like before?”

Masami grabbed his shirt, took in his scent again, and looked up at him with a small grin. “Weird? Boy, stop playing with me.”

Ariz massaged her hip, peering down at her. “Boy? Ain’t shit about me young, Masami and you know that. Let’s go sit over here,” he replied, leading Masami to his spot in the VIP section.

Tallulah’s smile dropped into a scowl when her eyes landed on Masami. Masami, holding onto Ariz’s arm and beaming, stepped into the section. A few people from Marcy Falls lounged on floating beds, while a group of men Masami didn’t recognize sat on plush suede sofas. Ariz sat on a sofa across from the men, pulling Masami down beside him. She smiled politely, feeling overly friendly as everyone in the area glanced their way.

“Is Ossa aware of this? Weren’t you just engaged to Jaquis?” Tallulah sneered, her tone dripping with disdain. “Guess all it takes is for the boys to swoop in waving badges, and you Toussaint girls get extra friendly with the coochie. To think I actually felt sorry for you and your family, seeing as y’all are the talk of the city. Embarrassing, really. But if your biggest concern is screwing your brother’s best friend, then hey, do you,” Tallulah shrugged.

A few of the men in their personal space looked uncomfortable as Ariz sat up in his seat with firm brows.

“Tallu—"

“No, it’s fine,” Masami said, cutting off Ariz. For the first time in her life, when she looked at Tallulah, she felt sorry for her. She felt genuine compassion, and it made her want better for the girl. Compelled, Masami stood and walked over to Tallulah. She gently adjusted a few strands of Tallulah’s long extensions that had fallen out of place, then lifted her chin. Tallulah looked bewildered as Masami gazed down at her with an unexpected warmth.

“I get it. Your whole life, you’ve been left in the dark. Your mom chases after your brothers because they’re the breadwinners, and your father is gone. You feel forgotten and lonely, so what does that make you do? You start being loose with your body. But I’m telling you, Tallulahoe, you’re worth more than a late-night text or a random hotel, alleyway, or bathroom stall. You can be a woman who’s loved and adored if you work on your heart. You’ve let what you don’t have define you, and that’s why you still don’t have those things. My spirit’s telling me you don’t want to be like this forever. I’ll be praying for you, girl, because you’re lost and need to find yourself.”

Masami leaned down, hugged Tallulah, and then returned to her seat by Ariz, who was now smirking at her.

“Tallulahoe, huh? You want a drink, love?” one of the men sitting near Ariz asked, and Tallulah jumped up from her seat on the bed.

She stormed off, eyes flashing with anger, while Masami shook her head, feeling sorry for her.

“She’s a nice girl deep down, you know,” Masami frowned. “But being promiscuous isn’t cute,” she added, leaning back to gaze at the ceiling.

“Masami, meet Alejandro and Stephen,” Ariz said, gesturing to the men. “They invest in different businesses and were looking to drop some cash into a few firms. Just a few million if the right business catches their eye,” he continued, touching her leg.

Masami looked at Ariz, smiling. She was on a cloud of happiness as she reached out and touched his cheek.

“I don’t own any firms. I’m in the mafia,” she grinned, and the men laughed while Ariz gave her a look before turning back to his associates.

“I’ll catch up with you before you leave Vegas. It was good seeing you. Tell your pops I said what’s up,” he said, dapping the men.

“Absolutely. And you’re a lucky guy—she’s the most beautiful woman here. A classic beauty you don’t see often,” Stephen said respectfully, standing up.

Ariz looked over at Masami while she affectionately rubbed the suede sofa, and he nodded.

“Yeah she is,” he spoke lowly.

The men walked away, and Ariz leaned back on the sofa, rubbing his hands over his face. As Muni Long’s song “Made For Me” filled the club, Masami’s body began moving slowly to the beat. She hadn’t paid much attention to the song before, but in that moment, it felt different. She reached for Ariz’s left hand, their fingers interlacing as she looked up at him, heart racing, and smiled.

“You know, I always thought you were made for me. That’s why, when we were younger, I’d fight any girl who liked you behind your back. Even when you were talking to that seventeen-year-old girl, me and Maia jumped her. We beat her ass too,” Masami laughed, reminiscing.