Monster in Disguise

29. Marcello

Marcello

TEN YEARS AGO

F or generations, the Lastra and Agosti families had enjoyed a strong bond of friendship. However, there was one exception—Father and Rocco Agosti. While Rocco was known for his lavish lifestyle and extravagant feasts, he paled in comparison to Father's debauchery. Interestingly enough, Rocco preferred higher quality bed partners while Father preferred quantity.

Rocco's parties were the talk of New York, attracting the crème de la crème—actors, musicians, and politicians all mingling together. It was at one of these parties that I first laid eyes on Catalina.

As usual, I attended the party and made an effort to socialize. But these events never appealed to me as the company was always lacking. However, as the Capo's son, it was my duty to attend.

I stood in the crowded mansion, nursing my drink and waiting for an opportunity to greet Rocco before making my departure. The crush of people was suffocating, and I longed for a moment alone. I slipped out into the garden, searching for a secluded spot to light a cigarette when she caught my eye.

Catalina wore a simple white dress that did nothing to showcase her figure. Yet, it was far from boring—it exuded elegance and grace. Her face held me captivated. Midnight black hair cascaded down her back, reaching her hips. Her pale complexion was dotted with freckles on her nose and cheeks. But it was her eyes that truly mesmerized me. Slanted like a cat's, they were a vivid green that seemed almost otherworldly.

I wasn't.

She wasn't a dream.

As I took a step towards her, my heart raced with nervous anticipation. But before I could reach her, someone else approached—Enzo, Rocco's son and heir. His voice, carrying the same Italian accent as his father, echoed through the night.

"Lina, what are you doing out here? You know you're not allowed at these parties." Enzo's tone was stern yet concerned. Lina's voice, in contrast, was soothing and melodious, fitting for such a beautiful girl.

From my spot in the shadows, I watched their exchange unfold like a scene from a play. Enzo guiding her towards the entrance of the house while Lina protested, wanting to experience the forbidden world of underground parties.

"You're too young, Lina. You know Father won't like that," Enzo reasoned.

"I'll be eighteen soon, Enzo. I'm not that young, you know." Lina's words were laced with determination and defiance.

"I know, piccola. Do you really want to grow up so soon? Father is already looking for a match." And with those words, they disappeared into the depths of the mansion, leaving me in a state of confusion and longing.

It wasn't until later that I realized Lina must be Rocco's youngest daughter, Catalina. A strange feeling overcame me as I put two and two together—she could marry no one but me.

But how could someone like me ever deserve her? She was like a ray of sunshine in my otherwise bleak life. But perhaps I could try to deserve her...to be a good man for her.

TWO MONTHS LATER

As I approach the fence, she leans against it and peers at me with curiosity. I quickly pull up my hood, hoping to conceal the extent of my injuries. My face is still swollen and discolored from the beating I received a few days ago—a sickly mix of purple and yellow around my eyes and nose.

"I thought you wouldn't come." Her voice is tinged with relief.

"I thought so too." I reply gruffly, the pain in my voice betraying the severity of my wounds. My stab wound has become infected, forcing me to drain it on my own this morning. But I keep this information to myself—there's no need to worry her. The idea of someone caring about my well-being is foreign to me, but it's also comforting.

Looking up at her from beneath my hood, I can't help but admire her ethereal beauty. Her shy smile washes away all thoughts of pain and danger.

"I can only stay for a little while." My father has been keeping a watchful eye on me, especially after losing his men who were tasked with following me. But I won't take any chances when it comes to Catalina.

I've come to accept that no matter how much I want to be with her, it may never be possible. Being with me would put her in danger, and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her.

After many sleepless nights, I've made the decision to distance myself from her. Even though I have already spoken to Rocco about our potential union, it's for the best that I take a step back.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She studies me closely, concern etched across her features.

"Yes...thank you for everything." My words fail to convey the depth of gratitude and admiration I feel towards her. She is like a beam of sunlight in my dark world, and I will carry the memory of her with me always.

Taking a deep breath, I feel my throat tighten and my eyes start to water. It's strange how the worst physical pain couldn't bring me to tears, but the thought of never seeing her again has me on the verge of bawling.

The hardest part is knowing that I will never have the chance to meet her again – not even in death. She belongs with the angels while I am destined for a life in the gutter.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her voice breaks through my thoughts and brings me back to reality.

"I won't be able to come again," I confess sadly. "It's... complicated."

Her expression falls, and I can see the sadness in her eyes at my words.

"Are you in trouble? Maybe I can talk to my father or brother and they could help." Catalina offers eagerly, but I know that there is no one who can truly help me. No one except myself.

But at least she offered.

I stand up, not wanting to stay any longer as it would only make things harder.

"Lord!" She gasps suddenly, pointing at my chest. I look down and see that my wound from earlier has reopened and is bleeding once again.

"It's nothing," I shrug it off, already turning to leave. But before I can take another step, she reaches behind her neck and unties her scarf.

"Can you come a little closer?" She asks softly. A part of me hesitates, knowing that being this close to her will only make my desire for her stronger.

But just like a man on the brink of starvation, I go. I don't think I could ever say no to her. When I'm next to the opening in the fence, she reaches between the pickets to wrap her scarf around my torso. She struggles a little, so I try to help her, getting one last feel of her soft hands.

"Thank you," I say once again, and I bring both her hands to my lips. What I wouldn't give to worship this woman for the rest of my life... But I , better than anyone, should know that we seldom get what we wish for.

With a last parting gaze, I leave, holding a piece of her with me forever.

She's all that's pure and good, and I want her to remain like that. I would only taint her with my bloodstained hands; hold her down with the weight of my sins. She deserves better; for I wouldn't wish myself upon my greatest enemies. She deserves the heavens and above, but I can only give her hell and below.

So I let her go.

And with her, I'm also leaving my heart behind — or what little I had left.

A FEW DAYS LATER

As I slowly wake from my slumber, a dull ache lingers in my ribs. I groan and stretch, trying to find a more comfortable position. My hand instinctively reaches out for the silky scarf next to me, still warm from Catalina's presence.

Breathing in her delicate scent, I am lost in dreams of her until an urgent knocking on my bedroom door shatters the peaceful moment.

"Tuo padre ti sta chiamando," a soldier yells from outside. When my father calls, I have no choice but to answer.

Reluctantly, I fold the scarf that Catalina had left behind and place it in a safe spot before getting dressed and leaving my room. The soldier informs me that my father has a surprise waiting for me in the basement.

I can't help but feel anxious at the thought of what kind of surprise awaits me down there, especially after the last beating I received.

Trying to keep a cool demeanor, I make my way down the stairs and into the basement. As I open the door, I am greeted by darkness, making me blink several times to adjust my eyes.

"Marcello, just who I was looking for," Father's cheerful voice echoes through the dark space, his enthusiasm contrasting with his usually stoic nature.

"Father," I reply with a forced smile as he beckons me further into the basement.

"Come, come. Let me show you what I got you."

Confused by his words, I furrow my brow. My father has never once given me anything before.

"What you got me?" I ask hesitantly as we reach another door deeper within the basement.

"Consider this a gift for your years of service." He opens the door and gestures for me to step inside.

I take a tentative step forward and stop, my eyes widening in disbelief. The scene before me is real, not just some twisted nightmare playing tricks on my mind.

The table, usually reserved for inflicting pain and suffering, now holds a new captive. Her wrists and ankles are shackled at each end, her body stretched out in the shape of a human X. Her torn dress barely covers her body, revealing a mass of bloody skin and wounds, fresh crimson liquid still seeping from her battered form.

Catalina.

My heart sinks as I realize who the victim is. Before I can even process what has happened, Father speaks up.

"What do you think? Do you like my gift?" He glances at Catalina with an air of satisfaction. "It wasn't easy to obtain her, but I know how much she means to you."

My blood boils as he continues to gloat about how they abducted her from her own home. My fists clench at my sides, anger coursing through every part of my being. But then he points to something on her back, and I feel bile rise in my throat.

Father's cruel handiwork is etched into her flesh—an M encased by a large C. The raw edges show that it was done without mercy or hesitation.

Catalina...

Tears well up in my eyes as I take in the sight before me. What horrors has she endured at their hands?

"What is this?" I choke out, struggling to keep my voice steady.

"A gift for the Chimera," he sneers, admiring his work with perverse pleasure. "I thought it was quite fitting."

Fury consumes me as I look at Catalina's broken body, strapped to that table like some kind of sacrifice. I want nothing more than to unleash all my pain and rage onto those responsible for this unspeakable act. My hands shake with the urge to take their lives, to avenge Catalina and make them pay for what they have done to her.

My voice falters as I try to keep calm in front of my father. I can't let him see how much this conversation is affecting me.

"You think I haven't heard the rumors about your obsession with this girl? You haven't exactly been discreet," Father scoffs, his eyes leering over Catalina's figure.

I clench my jaw, struggling to keep my composure. I won't solve anything by lashing out at him now. More soldiers will come and restrain me before I can even make a move.

"I'm right, aren't I? She's the reason you've been neglecting your duties." His words feel like daggers piercing my skin.

A moan escapes Catalina's lips, and I close my eyes in shame. This is everything I feared and more.

But I can only hope to minimize the damage now.

"I haven't been neglecting anything," I reply through gritted teeth. Technically, it's true—I've killed just as efficiently as always, without letting my emotions get in the way.

"Is that so?" Father raises an eyebrow skeptically. I know there's no use in trying to explain myself further. "It's simple really. I brought her here for you to enjoy, to get her out of your system. She's a virgin, isn't she? The best kind." He nods approvingly, and I feel sick to my stomach listening to him speak of her like an object. "You'll be the first to taste her charms. Now that's a perfect gift." He lets out a whistle and shakes his head in amusement. "Her blood coating your cock. Top quality right here, son."

"You forget she's Rocco's daughter. We can't do that." I bring up my best argument as I try to reason with him. Surely even he can see how dangerous this is.

"As if I care." He shrugs, taking out a cigar and lighting it up. "I need you to get your head in the game, and it won't happen until she's out of your system. So go ahead. Fuck her." He motions dismissively to her feeble form.

"I will not ." For the first time, I'm saying no. I've had no limits before, but I find that Catalina is where I draw the line.

Father takes a deep drag of his cigar, his eyes intent on me.

"You are pussy-whipped, aren't you? He was right," he notes thoughtfully.

"Who?"

He shrugs. "If you don't want her, I'll just give her to the guards. I bet they'll love it."

My eyes widen as I understand the enormity of the situation. It's my fault. All my fault...

It only took one interaction with her. Everything I touch turns to dust... I turn my head slightly towards the table, and I know what to do.

I'll give Father something he's always wanted but never got.

My knees buckle under the weight of my fear and desperation, slowly bringing me to the ground until I'm at his feet. I bow my head in submission, pressing my lips to the worn leather of his shoes.

"I'll do anything. Please... just let her go." My voice is a desperate plea, the ultimate act of subservience.

Father's laughter reverberates through the room, echoing off the cold stone walls. He throws his head back in amusement, a sinister gleam in his eyes.

Still on the ground, I keep my gaze lowered to the floor, trying to hide the tears that threaten to spill from my eyes.

"Please..."

"Oh boy, this is exactly what I was talking about," he muses, gesturing towards Catalina with a dismissive wave of his hand. "You're weak. This girl is making you weak. How can I trust you to do what's necessary for our famiglia when you'd do anything for her? Would you even die for her?" His tone is mocking, knowing full well that I would lay down my life for her without hesitation. "I thought I beat those emotions out of you a long time ago," he sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. "But it seems you need one last nudge to let them go." With a twirl of his fingers, he removes his gun from the back of his trousers and aims it at Catalina. Panic swells inside of me, my mind frantically searching for a way out.

"I'll do whatever you want." My voice trembles with fear as I make my promise. Anything for him to spare her.

"You have two choices, boy," Father says with a sadistic grin, enjoying watching me squirm as he holds all the power. "Either you fuck her out of your system, or you watch as each of my soldiers takes a turn with her." The thought of anyone touching her, violating her, sends a shudder through my body. "What do you say?" His mouth twists into an evil smile, knowing he's got me backed into a corner.

"I can't do that to her," I choke out, my heart breaking at the mere thought of hurting her. "She'll..." I can't even bear to finish my sentence.

"Yes." A satisfied grin spreads across his face. "She'll hate you. She will despise you for the rest of her life. Either you do it or..."

My heart races as I try to reason with my father, but his cold stare reveals that my words are futile. He has never been one to listen to reason when it comes to matters of power and control.

"She's innocent," I plead, desperation creeping into my voice. But he just chuckles, dismissing my plea with a wave of his hand.

"Innocence is a myth, boy. You made the mistake of putting her on a pedestal, letting your emotions cloud your judgment. Now it's time for you to learn the hard way." His words carry a sinister edge as he lays out my options.

"Take her and defile her, or watch others do it instead. Either way, you'll be consumed by self-loathing." My father's psychological games always hit their mark, and he knows I'll be tormented no matter what choice I make.

I can feel tears stinging my eyes as I choke out a feeble "no," hoping against hope that he'll show some mercy. But he just shrugs and orders one of his soldiers to go first.

"No!" I cry out, dropping to my knees in desperate protest. "Please, don't do this."

But my cries fall on deaf ears as my father spits at me in disgust. "Just like your mother. Always begging on your knees," he sneers. And then he delivers the ultimate blow: "Will you suck my cock like she did? Maybe then I'll spare Catalina."

I feel sickened and disgusted by his words, knowing that there is no escape from this nightmare. I can only pray that Catalina will forgive me for what will happen next.

His words stun me into a momentary paralysis, but something deep within me compels me to nod in agreement.

"Anything." My voice is strained with determination. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I am already gone.

My father pauses, his inscrutable expression giving nothing away. Then he chuckles darkly.

"Damn boy, I should have known you were a homo." His sinister smile sends shivers down my spine as he looks down at me. "I'll make you a deal." His eyes gleam with excitement. "Get me hard, and I'll let her go. Fail and..." He trails off, whistling ominously.

God...is this really happening? Is this what it's come to? But I cannot afford to hesitate or question, not when Lina's life is on the line. So I nod again, steeling myself for whatever humiliation is to come. I can take it. But Lina...she won't be able to handle it.

With a crooked smirk, my father unbuttons his pants and takes out his flaccid penis, waving it in front of my face.

"Let's see how well you put that mouth to use." His tone is mocking and condescending, as if he expects me to fail before even starting. But I cannot afford to disappoint him or lose Lina.

And so, with a sense of numb detachment, I close my eyes and empty my mind of everything except this one task at hand.

I can do this!

Taking a deep breath, I tentatively take his limp member in my hand and bring it to my mouth. Bile rises in the back of my throat. I open wide and take him inside, fighting every instinct that revolts against this act. But desperation drives me on as I work my tongue around him, trying everything in my power to elicit a reaction from him. Praying silently that it will be enough to save Lina.

Father is sporting a bored expression, his hands crossed across his chest as he watches me choke on his cock. As I lick him, a small twitching of his dick gives me hope. Just as I'm about to apply more suction, he pushes me off, his foot nabbing me in the forehead and shoving me to the ground.

I can see he's semi-erect by now, but he quickly tucks himself in.

"You wouldn't even be a good whore." He spits on me, the tip of his shoe making contact with my ribs and making me wince.

Shit! My wound!

Father shakes his head callously.

"It seems that you failed, boy." He raises an eyebrow at me. He only did this to test my limits, shaming me in the process. "Now, what will it be?" He tips his head towards the table, raising one hand in the air, ready to signal Silvio.

"I..." I gulp. My eyes wander wildly around the room. There isn't any way out, is there? "I'll do it," I finally acquiesce.

"Let's see." Father nods at me, taking a seat on the chair next to the wall.

I scramble to my feet, my gaze set on Catalina.

"Let me give her some water," I say as I watch her writhe in pain, her limbs trying to move against the shackles holding her firm.

"Make it fast," he grunts.

This is the one moment that I thank the heavens for my sleeping pill addiction. I carry them with me everywhere. If I can't spare her the pain... then at least I can spare her the memory.

With my back to Father, I pour a glass of water, quickly dissolving a pill inside. Then I move to the table, crouching down in front of Catalina.

Her lips are chapped and full of small lacerations. She must have bitten them when the pain had been too much. Just seeing her like this is killing me. I lift my hand and lightly stroke her hair, knowing I have no right to do so.

"Aghh..." A small moan escapes her lips, and I will myself to be strong for her sake.

"Shh, I got you," I whisper in a low voice so that Father won't hear. I help her drink from the glass, glad to see most of the liquid going down her throat.

"It will all be over... soon," I vow to her. Somehow, I'll make sure she gets out of this alive.

"What's taking so long?" Father complains.

I straighten my spine, putting on my best poker face. If he knows how much she means to me, he'll kill her immediately; a fact of which I'm painfully aware. I need to buy some time so the pill knocks her out.

"I can't do it," I start.

"Silvio!" Father yells, but I stop him.

"I didn't mean that. I can't get hard. I need one of those pills." He knows exactly what I'm talking about as he scowls at me; it's not as if it's the first time I've needed them.

style="text-align: left;""Sometimes I wonder how you came out of my loins. Can't even fuck properly." He opens the door and spews some commands. "Fucking useless," he mutters under his breath, but I ignore the jibe.

I fix my eyes on Catalina, monitoring her movements.

Dear Lord, she's innocent. Please spare her.

I continue praying, even knowing it's too late.

As expected, Father is back too soon. Swallowing the pill, I can only wait until it starts working.

style="text-align: left;""So?" Father asks flippantly, nodding towards my bulge. "Let the show begin."

style="text-align: left;"I reluctantly close my eyes, trying to shut out the heaviness in my heart. This has become routine for me now, attempting to dissociate from my body and this horrific situation. But tonight, it's not working. My mind is too consumed with guilt and shame.

style="text-align: left;"With shaking hands, I unlock the shackles on her ankles and wrists, releasing her from their cruel grip. Carefully, I pull her towards me so that only her torso is lying on the table. She lets out a soft whimper, and tears prick at my eyes. What am I doing?

style="text-align: left;"My loathing for myself intensifies as my trembling fingers reach for the hem of her dress, lifting it up over her hips. My heart pounds wildly in my chest, a combination of the pill I took and my own anxiety. Trying to remain detached, I unzip my pants and push them down just enough to give me access.

style="text-align: left;"I try not to touch her more than necessary, not wanting to defile her any further than I already have. But as I position myself at her entrance and push inside, all rational thoughts flee from my mind. The pain on her face breaks my heart, and I can only pray that she's too drugged up to feel it fully as I break through the barrier of her virginity. Once I'm fully inside, I freeze, the weight of what I'm doing crushing me.

style="text-align: left;"I can't do this. It's not mine to take but hers to give willingly. Dear God...

style="text-align: left;"In that moment, I plead with any higher power that will listen. The guilt of stealing her innocence weighs heavily on me, and it only amplifies as the pleasure surges through me. How could something so wrong feel so good? How could I be capable of such monstrosity? This is by far my biggest sin.

style="text-align: left;"Lost in a fierce battle with my inner demons, I'm jolted back to reality by Father's voice.

style="text-align: left;""I should have known you couldn't do it." He spits at me, his gun pressing into the tender skin under Catalina's chin. "How's this for motivation, boy?"

style="text-align: left;"Like a caustic substance, the sight of the gun aimed at Catalina's head burns my insides and imprints itself in my head. Father's insidious smile stretches even wider across his face as he sees the turmoil in me. I can't even hide it anymore.

style="text-align: left;"He jabs the butt of the gun menacingly into her chin a few more times before I give up. I move—in and out. All while begging all the gods out there to make this fast.

style="text-align: left;"For once someone listens to my prayers and I come, the staggering guilt an echo of ephemeral pleasure.

style="text-align: left;" Sick. Twisted. Depraved.

style="text-align: left;"Am I anything but?

style="text-align: left;"I pull out, lightheaded, a heavy weight resting on my chest.

style="text-align: left;" Damned... I just damned myself by defiling an angel.

style="text-align: left;"Father starts clapping, a hand coming down my back in a congratulatory slap. He's saying something, but I can't hear him. Eyes blank, heart shattered, I turn away from the wretched body I've just corrupted.

style="text-align: left;"Looking down, my cock is stained with red, the evidence of the innocence I'd ruined glaring back at me. It's the last drop, and I stumble to my knees, heaving and emptying the contents of my stomach.

style="text-align: left;"Father makes a disgusted noise before leaving the room.

style="text-align: left;" He already got what he wanted.

style="text-align: left;"For what seems like forever, I sit alone in my puke, staring at the dark walls. Catalina is still out—a small grace. But I realize where this is all heading... Father's next step. She'll be dead by tomorrow, and I can't allow that. I'll take on the entire famiglia if I have to, but Catalina will survive this. It's a solemn vow I make to myself.

style="text-align: left;"One day, this will all be but a distant nightmare for her, but at least she'll be alive.

style="text-align: left;"And I'll stay away—forever.

style="text-align: center;"* * *

style="text-align: left;"There's only one person who can help me get her out. The only other man besides Father who has unrestricted access to the house and the basement—my brother Valentino. Asking him for this favor and implicitly making him go against Father for my sake will cost me heavily.

style="text-align: left;"I don't dare leave her side, even for a moment, as I plan the next move. I call my brother and explain what I need—someone to return Catalina to her family while I stay behind and face the music.

style="text-align: left;"After I'm more in command of my body, I stumble to my feet, and taking my shirt off, I clean her with it.

style="text-align: left;"I'm very gentle with her back, the wounds so raw it's like they're screaming at me. Even with the mangled flesh, the initials are clearly distinguishable. It makes me feel even more despicable, for she will forever carry this with her.

I swallow a sob as I reach lower. A trickle of blood is running down her thighs. I tenderly clean the area, even more disgusted when I see red mixed with white and the evidence of what I've done to her.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry." My voice breaks as I keep repeating, knowing she can't possibly hear me.

I've killed and maimed in my life; tortured, and desecrated, and never have I felt such a torment deep within. I'd gotten used to my lot in life, never thinking I could reach rock bottom, because how can you when you've always lived under sea level? But this... what I did to her...

I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life repenting, seeking some nonexistent absolution.

I finish cleaning her up and I try my best to cover her with what's left of her dress. Softly, I lower her from the table, cradling her battered body in my arms. I swipe my hand over her pale features, taking her in one last time.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper again in her hair, rocking slightly with her and letting the tears fall. "So, so sorry." I brush my lips against her temple, trying to memorize her features.

That's how Valentino finds me.

"That her?" He nods at Catalina.

"Yes." I stand up, carefully depositing her in his arms. "Please take care of her. Make sure she gets home safe."

"You're lucky she's Romina's sister, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this."

"I know."

"You owe me, Marcello. And when I come to collect, you better be ready," he notes. Tino might not be Father, but that doesn't mean he is any less of a self-serving bastard.

"Thank you." I incline my head in respect. As long as he delivers her safely back to her family, I'm willing to do anything for him—should I live.

"Good luck with Father," he says before leaving.

I watch his retreating figure, saying goodbye to Catalina one last time.

It's time to end this.

When Father comes in, I'm the only one in the basement. He quickly scans the room, his upper lip twitching in displeasure.

"What did you do, boy?" he spits out, backhanding me. I take it, because that's all I deserve.

"She's safe," I say, keeping my composure.

"Fucking useless," he sneers, pacing around. "You know what your punishment is, boy." I lower my head, already accepting my fate. I knew it from the moment I stayed behind.

"Do it fast," I say as he raises his gun to aim for my head.

"You think this is over, don't you? The moment you're dead, I'll take that whore you seem to love so much and I'll make her my bitch. And when I've had my fill, I'll have every one of my men take a turn. She'll wish she was dead, and she will die, but not before she despises you so much she takes her last breath cursing out your name," he laughs, mocking Catalina and my feelings for her.

The switch is instantaneous. I'd been resigned to dying, since death would be the greatest comfort considering what I'd done—and a mercy at the same time. Yeah, I'm a coward. But as he gloats about everything he would do to Catalina, with me powerless to stop it, I can't. Before he can pull the trigger, my hand shoots out, knocking it out of his hold.

Father may think he's superior just because I'd been at peace with dying. But in a physical struggle, he won't come out the winner.

A rage unlike anything I've ever felt takes over me, and my fingers wrap themselves around the side of his neck, forcefully shoving his head into the wall. The first impact elicits a cry from Father, and it only spurs me on. Over and over, I smash his brain against the concrete wall, watching blood and brain matter stain the surface. I only release him when he stops struggling.

It's done.

It's been months since I've seen the light of day. Stuck in a tiny apartment, a prison of my making, I can only wait for Valentino's next update about Catalina.

That's the only thing that's been keeping me going. The knowledge that she's doing well, and the hope that she will heal.

But it all comes crashing down one day.

"What do you mean?" I croak. "How can she be missing?"

"I'm sorry. Romina said Rocco disowned her. She's probably..." He trails off, and I get what he's hinting at.

"No. It can't be. Why wait so long? It's been months and nothing happened... There must be a mistake." I'm panicking, the sheer thought of a world without Catalina filling me with unimaginable dread.

"You realize the chances of her being alive are slim, don't you?" His voice is somber, and I fall back, shocked to my very core.

I'd refused to believe her own family would turn against her. I'd refused to think she would be anything but safe back home.

But I should have known better. No mafioso would allow a dishonored daughter to continue bearing the family name. And if Rocco has one predominantly deadly sin, it's hubris. A pride that wouldn't let him overlook her lack of virtue.

No...

I hang up, my mind blanking.

I killed her. I did it. I should have known that someone like me can't touch something as pure as her without tainting her. And I did it... I condemned her to hell.

I fall to my knees, my eyes tearing up. Without even thinking, I wrap my hand around the whip lying by me, and with all the strength I can muster, I fling it back, flinching at the biting contact.

I deserve it. I need to feel what she endured on that table. I need to hurt for her.

The more I think about her, the more force I apply.

Whip.

Whip.

Whip.

I'm cursed.

Whip.

Whip.

Whip.

I hit and hit, but it's not enough. Blood and sweat mingle down my back, sticking to my flesh like a second skin.

Still not enough.

All reason leaves me as I numbly move around the room, exerting one last effort. My mind is foggy as everything else fades away, my only remaining goal to join her.

I use an old cable, making a sturdy knot and securing it to the light fixture on the ceiling. Stepping on a small chair, I place the noose around my neck, immediately kick the support away, and wait for death.

My eyes close, my breathing slows, the cable digging into my skin. Lightheaded, I feel myself slipping. And there she is. She's smiling at me, her eyes twinkling with affection.

Lina...

"Am I dead?" I whisper, holding on to the mirage of her.

"No, silly, you're not." Her hand reaches out to touch my face, tenderness emanating from her entire being.

"How can you not hate me?" I sob, and she draws me into her arms.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you," she reassures me, sharing her warmth with me. "But it's not your time yet, Marcello." She chides softly. "Go out into the world and do good. Show me how much you repent by helping others."

"I don't want to leave you." I hold on to her tighter, begging her to let me stay with her.

"We'll meet again." She draws back and places a sweet kiss on my lips.

I open my eyes, pain emanating from my entire back and head. I blink twice, realizing I'm on the floor staring at the ceiling. Still alive.

I won't let you down, Lina.

It takes me a few more months to get myself together, but I enroll in college. I devote all my time to study, all to achieve my new goal—help the other Catalinas of the world. I accustom myself to being alive while she's not, but I dedicate everything to her memory. As much as I strive to be normal though, some things have irrevocably changed.

Like my ability to sleep. Not that it was great before. Or my ability to withstand touch. The first time someone brushed their hand over mine, I'd gotten such a terrible panic attack someone had called an ambulance.

I'm vile. Disgusting. A monster.

And no one should be tainted by my touch.