Monsters Under Mistletoe

4. Gabe

Chapter 4

Gabe

I t was obvious that she had wanted me to kiss her, but I had been in love with her for so long that I chickened out. So many women flung themselves at me, none of them looking for love, but a paycheck, that I had become quite cynical when it came to the fairer sex. I had no idea how Caro felt about me, but I knew that she had the ability to rip my heart apart. Kissing her and finding out that she was like the others would have broken me.

My plans of seducing her this Christmas had built up in my fantasies to a point where I just wouldn’t have been able to handle a rejection or her playing me.

This is Caro, she’s not the player type , Simon asserted, but I shut my inner bear down. He was right, but he was also blinded by the fact that he saw her as our fated mate. No, she wasn’t the player type, that was just my cynical side trying to take over to prevent me from getting hurt.

She wanted you to kiss her, McCloud , since when are you running from the ball?

But I had, hadn’t I? I left her standing there, gaping at me as I hurled myself over the pony wall without looking back. I ran straight for the woodsy area surrounding Patrick’s mansion, shifting into Simon, ripping my clothes in the process.

And now I was here, roaring my frustration into the night and slamming my bear body against a tree. Idiot, idiot, idiot , I cursed myself. You chickened out like a teenager about to get his first kiss. What the fuck is wrong with you, McCloud ?

I had no explanation. I had wanted, desired Caro for so long, and denied myself for so long, that after my eyes had finally been opened, the hope that blossomed inside me had just been too much to be crushed.

She wanted the kiss , Simon yelled inside my head.

I’m an idiot, ok?

You’re more than an idiot, you’re a moron, now go back and apologize.

But I couldn’t. Not yet.

I needed to sort through my jumbled emotions first.

Ever since Patrick had introduced Caro to me, Simon had insisted she was our fated mate. Five years younger than me, I had tried to keep my distance whenever possible. It just hadn’t been appropriate for a seventeen year old to be around a twelve year old.

Thankfully, the age difference kept us apart in school, but her and Patrick seemed inseparable, always hanging out together at her house or ours. Football practice kept me busy. That and the girls flocking to me throughout high school and college— age appropriate girls . Once I hit the big leagues, I had been busy with my career, but whenever I came home, there was Caro. Caro and Patrick.

“They gonna be married one day,” my father predicted, oblivious to the shock he sent through my system.

Of course they’re gonna be married one day , I scolded myself. So I kept my distance even more, made snide comments and jokes when she was around, built a wall around my heart. The last thing I wanted was to take my brother’s mate away from him, even if it had been in my power, which I highly doubted. Instead, I had lived life on the edge, playing the football jock, the playboy. Hardly ever came home, anything to stay away from her and the longing, burning sensation inside me that overwhelmed me whenever she was near.

I would have given my life for just one kiss from her. But I would have never interfered with my brother’s happiness. I thought I was doing a noble thing by staying away.

When Patrick invited me to his wedding, I almost said no, unable to bear watching him and Caro get married.

Yeah, I truly was an idiot .

Thanks to my staying away, Patrick and I never developed that close relationship brothers usually had. He didn’t tell me he had met his fated mate, who wasn’t Caro, but Ella. It didn’t help that their courtship was fast and furious. They were getting married after knowing each other only for a few months, which was probably the reason for the whole wedding incident, but that was beside the point. My point was, after finding out that Patrick and Caro weren’t getting married, I went to the wedding with hope choking my throat and constricting my chest. My stomach did some weird somersaults, and every day that brought me closer to the wedding day, my fantasies about Caro and me grew.

Not for one second did I think she would come to the wedding with another man. Her boyfriend. I have no idea why that possibility never crossed my mind, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen—and having been surrounded by many beautiful women over the years, that was saying something. Yeah, I was an idiot, again.

I might have still taken a chance had the wedding gone the way it was supposed to and not … anyway. By the end of the night, Caro and her boyfriend were gone, and Patrick and I sat in a bar drinking, finally confiding in one another as brothers should.

I suspected this Christmas invitation was in part for him playing matchmaker between his best friend and brother. Still, thanks to our new relationship, I had inquired about Caro and if she was coming alone.

When Patrick confirmed that she had indeed broken up with her boyfriend several months ago, and that she would come alone, my shattered hope had resurfaced one more time. But for the first time, my ego wasn’t in the game. On the contrary, it kept chiming in that there was a very strong possibility that Caro didn’t feel about me the way I felt about her. I had, after all, been making a point of alienating her over the years. That she might pay me back by kissing me and then laughing in my face, had been just too much of a possibility.

Time to man the fuck up, McCloud .

As Simon I trotted back to the mansion, grabbing a pair of pants Patrick and I always left in the pool house, not even bothering to look for a shirt. The cold didn’t bother bear shifters much, not even in their human form. Our blood ran hot.

When I entered the dark house, the first thing I saw was Caro back on that three legged contraption and rushed forward.