Mountain Refuge (Mountain Mutineers #1)

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Elijah

I had a rough night. I kept waking from vivid dreams of police kicking down the door and taking my children away from me. At one point, I’d even gone into Gertie and Belle’s room to verify that Belle was in the cabin, safe and sound asleep after her big day. Her tiara had still been on her head. Corbin probably didn’t have the heart to take it off her. I did so it didn’t get tangled in her hair as she slept.

My precious angel.

Lucas was also sleeping soundly. He didn’t wake much through the night anymore. Generally, once he was down, he was down. I was usually grateful for that, as it allowed me to sleep uninterrupted too. Tonight, though, a part of me wished he’d wake up so I could have an excuse not to go back to sleep.

I knew Brooke wasn’t going to go to the police. I wouldn’t have told her a single thing if I’d had any doubt about that. I’d taken a chance in telling her what I did, but it needed to be said if she was going to take a risk on me.

If Brooke and I did start dating, and that was still a big if , I needed to have a conversation with Belle. I knew she considered Brooke a friend and I didn’t want Belle to think I was taking away from that friendship at all. I would also need to pay close attention to Belle’s relationship with Brooke to make sure she wasn’t becoming overly attached to Brooke. As a female figure, and a potential mother figure, Belle might become attached as a way to disassociate from her past. In her previous life as Lydia, she didn’t have a mother. She might try to make it so Belle did have a mother, essentially forming a completely new life around that relationship.

I was getting ahead of myself, though. Christ, we’d only kissed once before we both revealed some painful experiences from our pasts.

I couldn’t believe Brooke’s husband and sister. How could they do that to her? Regardless of blood or vows, they had started an affair knowing Brooke would find out. They might not have known when, but they had to have known she would eventually. Or maybe they were the type of cheaters who believed their actions were justified by something Brooke had said or done. Regardless, they had not started an affair knowing that Brooke would not be hurt as a result.

Yet both claimed to have loved her.

Fools.

If I was lucky enough to one day win Brooke’s love, I’d hold on tight to it and never let it go. She was an amazing person, strong and independent. She was made of steel after surviving her ordeal with no familial support. I was glad there had been no children caught up in the mix.

I remembered Brooke confessing that she didn’t want to have children. When she’d said it, she’d made the comment that she was selfish and hadn’t wanted to share her husband. I could understand that. Children were certainly attention-seeking monsters with big appetites and curious minds. I just hoped she understood I was a package deal. I was never going to leave my children or abandon them. Despite what I had done to claim them, they were mine .

I must have fallen asleep again because no sooner did I have the attention-seeking monster thought than forty-eight pounds of spaghetti-filled child land on me. “ Hmph! ” came out of me as I quickly put a hand over my family jewels to protect them from bony knees.

My little angel devilishly grinned down at me. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, Angel.” I couldn’t help but grin back at her. I looked over at the crib to see Lucas standing up, holding onto the rails. “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded like a bobblehead. “Can we have pancakes?”

If Belle was up, that meant Gertie was also up. Likely, Corbin’s mother was already in the kitchen getting breakfast together for us. Corbin would be outside working. I really needed to start figuring out a way to help him with that. The one time I’d tried to help him chop wood, I’d fallen on my ass.

Belle still brought it up on occasion, to my utter humiliation.

I picked my daughter up as I got out of bed. I wore sweatpants and a white undershirt. I always made sure my back was covered when around Belle, not wanting her to regress and have flashbacks about watching my flogging. It was bad enough that I still had nightmares about the experience.

She giggled as I flipped her upside down and held her by her ankles. Her nightgown fell down around her face. Belle frantically tried to squirm out of my hold, but I kept ahold of her until I lowered her into the crib next to Lucas. “Stay with your brother while I go to the bathroom.”

Her giggles were soon joined by his as she tickled him. It was the best sound in the world. Sometimes I wished I still had my phone so I could record times like this or take pictures for them to look back on when they were older. I hoped they understood as they grew why anything like that would be too dangerous for us to keep around just for sentimental reasons.

But I still wished.

I wanted my children safe. I knew that was the priority. But at what expense? What would happen when Belle got old enough to want to go into town on her own or to go on a date with a boy? I cringed at the last one. Lucas might want to play sports or go to a summer camp.

At what point would I think enough time had passed for me to let the reins loose?

I wanted to say never, but I knew how unrealistic that was. And hypocritical, given what I’d told Brooke last night.

When I was done in the bathroom, I got the kids together and joined Gertie in the kitchen. I gave her a peck on the cheek as I passed.

“Angel, what do you say to Grammy for creating your cake last night?”

Belle was sitting on her knees. She drew herself up on the table. “Thank you, Grammy! It was awesome!”

Gertie came over to the table with a plate of bacon and eggs for Belle and a bowl of oatmeal for Lucas. I took the oatmeal out of grabbing range while I got up to get a spoon.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. It’s nice to know, even after all this time, I can still be surprised by some things.” She gave me a knowing look.

I met it with a grin of my own. My daughter certainly was unique.

Belle was mostly through her breakfast, and I had more oatmeal on me than in Lucas’s belly, when Corbin came stomping into the cabin. He was so tall that any doorway was a hazard for his head.

Belle’s breakfast was abandoned. Maybe I shouldn’t be so concerned about her attaching herself unhealthily to Brooke, given how attached she already was to Corbin. The two had a special bond. I couldn’t find fault in that. Especially when the relationship was so beneficial for both parties. Gertie had told me in confidence that she’d never seen Corbin so happy as he was around Belle.

When it came down to it, I knew Corbin was big enough and strong enough to protect Belle from anything. I viewed him as her bodyguard. I didn’t have to worry so much about her when she was with him.

Maybe I was actually transferring my concerns about getting overly attached to Brooke myself onto Belle. That woman was like a drug, and I was just pining for my next fix. How could I protect my children if I was constantly wanting to be with her?

Shit. I stopped that thought. I was doing it again, creating excuses as to why not instead of concentrating on why I should. I needed to remember that she had choices too. She was a grown woman who was intelligent enough to make her own sound decisions. If she chose to be with me, understanding the risks involved, I needed to respect that.

I also needed to respect her decision if she chose not to be with me.

Lucas slapped his hand down in the oatmeal bowl, knocking it out of my hand. “Dragons!” I let out in place of a curse.

I looked up at the ceiling, asking the Lord for patience as oatmeal dripped down my shirt to my leg and onto the floor.

Gertie quickly came over with a towel. Lucas burst into laughter. Corbin walked in carrying Belle over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes. It was chaos, but it was familiar. Corbin met my eyes, and we both started laughing too. We were making such a ruckus that we didn’t hear the motor outside until it was nearly here.

Everyone quieted down except for Lucas. Gertie quickly took control of the baby. Corbin put Belle down, grabbing his shotgun from above the refrigerator where small hands couldn’t reach it. I didn’t like that there were guns in the house, but Corbin went through where each one was with me and I approved of their locations. We also had a talk with Belle about gun safety.

Corbin cocked the gun before heading for his front door. I ushered Belle behind me with Gertie and Lucas. My heart was pounding so hard, it likely resembled a drum line. I needed to calm down to keep my wits about me, but I could feel the start of a panic attack coming on. How could we have been found? What had we done wrong? Who had found us? What would happen next? If it was the police, I had a chance to plead my case, but I’d likely never see my children again. If it was Gunther… Well, I still would never see my children again.

I planted myself in front of my family, knowing I would do everything possible to keep them safe. Including Gertie.

Corbin took a glance out the window and immediately his shoulders sagged. He lowered the muzzle of the gun before turning to me. “It’s for you, lover boy.”

At those words, my panic ceased. No one had found us. My children were still safe.

I came forward just as Corbin opened the door for Brooke. She came in, a smile coming across her face when she saw me.

My heart started pounding hard again, but for an entirely different reason this time.

And then I realized she wasn’t smiling at me because she was happy to see me. No, her smile was full of humor. She tried to cover her mouth with her hand, but it was too late. I’d seen it.

That’s when I recalled the oatmeal. I looked down at myself and cringed. Oatmeal covered my shirt from my left nipple down to my stomach and onto my pant leg. I was barefoot, despite the cold flooring. It wouldn’t surprise me if I had some on my face or in my hair too.

I looked back up and squared my shoulders. “Well, I’d like to see you try to feed a ten-month-old who’s teething.”

She held up her hands and took a step back. “That’s okay. I’ll leave it to the professionals.”

Belle came running out of the kitchen. “Brooke! You’re back!”

Brooke nodded. “Yeah, I came to talk to your dad.” When she saw Belle’s face start to fall, she quickly added, “And maybe play some games with you later?”

Belle immediately agreed and then ran off to her room to get dressed for the day. Brooke was wearing a heavy turtleneck sweater and leggings. I assumed the leggings were lined given the briskness of the morning. On her feet were work boots. They didn’t go with her outfit per se, but the boots totally went with her personality.

Corbin nudged her shoulder. “Why don’t you and I head outside to get some work done while lover boy gets himself presentable?”

My cheeks flushed and I scratched my nose with my middle finger. Corbin just smiled. Brooke followed him out the door after a lingering look back at me.

I turned. Gertie was behind me with Lucas still in her arms. He was rifling through her hair as if searching for buried treasure. “I’m happy for you.”

“You don’t think it’s risky and foolish, given my situation?”

Gertie didn’t know all of it, just enough to make her aware of the danger hunting us. She shook her head. “I think the two of you would be a good fit, as long as your head doesn’t get in the way of your heart.” She turned back towards the kitchen before throwing over her shoulder, “Both of them. ”

It took me a moment to catch on. When I did, I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand. I did not need sex advice from Corbin’s mother.