My Dangerous Duke (The Twisted Dukes #2)

Chapter 20

“ E leanor, let me explain…”

A strange, swallowed-up feeling Xander never experienced before spread through him as he saw the look of realization spread across Eleanor’s beautiful face.

“Your cousin prefers the company of men. That is why you married me. That is what the blackmail was,” she stated, her voice dull; lifeless. It caused a pain in his heart that he immediately hated.

“I had no choice,” Xander stated, straining to remain calm. “The night I first saw you, your father approached me with damning evidence against my cousin. I told him that was Richard’s business, but Victor did not want him. He wanted me.”

“Of course,” Eleanor breathed, not blinking. “Your title. Your social status. My father would not settle for Richard. Not when he could have you. You are everything my father wants to be. And I was the key to getting it.”

“I did not give a damn about what he wanted when this first happened,” Xander snapped.

He did not mean for it to come out so harsh, but now he was just scrambling to tell her the truth. He needed her to listen, to understand how everything had changed between them… How he had fallen in love with her.

“I was going to find the evidence and destroy it the day I came to your house, but I could not find them. Instead, you found me, and you intrigued me from that very moment you told me you did not want me. I found you strange and beautiful, and was immediately enraged that I was so attracted to someone I could never trust.”

Images of Victor’s library, Eleanor’s seductive smirk, and their first kiss flashed through his mind violently, making him lose his words. He thought of the rage in her eyes that had simmered into desire that first time. How he felt her rigid body suddenly relax- how he felt his own relax when he had pressed himself against her.

“But, by the time we arrived here after our wedding,” he went on, “I knew that you could not have anything to do with it and that you were innocent in all of this.”

“Oh, then you realized,” Eleanor scoffed, her glassy eyes looking away.

“You have no idea how many times women have tried to trap me into a marriage,” he replied sharply, his defenses rising. “The tricks they would try were awful. Attempting to lock me in a room alone with them, or stuffing one of their kerchiefs into my pocket secretly, then pointing it out publicly later. The mamas were often worse, calling me awful things when I refused to honor their daughters. But do you think any of them ever wanted me? No! They just wanted my title and everything that came with it!”

“And you wanted me to save the reputation of your family,” she shot back, a tear spilling down her cheek. “It is not different! You had a choice! You could have accepted the blow and left me out of all of this.”

“My family would have never survived the scandal that would have broken if your father released those letters,” Xander quickly replied, “Our good reputation would be gone forever. Not to mention Richard would most likely lose his life. This was no mere grab for marriage but the potential loss of everything my family and I know.”

This seemed to put a brief pause on Eleanor’s growing anger, and he continued.

“Eleanor, I cannot take back that it took me time to see that you were innocent, but the moment I did, I realized I had to protect you just as much as Richard.”

“Protect me from what?” She asked, her brows furrowing.

He wanted to stop, to speak no more on this, and gather her in his arms. They could not talk if their mouths were doing other things, and he could make love to her until she forgot- until he forgot- about all of it.

“From me,” Xander finally answered, his voice vibrating with emotion. “You made it clear you wanted love. Real, true love, and I knew I could not give it to you. I wanted you in body, yes- God yes, from the very beginning- but if I abstained from my lust, if I left you pure, then when we annulled, you could still have a chance at finding that love you wanted. I would take any fault in the separation; accept any rumor of my callousness, if it meant that you came out of this pure.”

“But I am pure no longer!” She shouted back, the pain in her voice so evident in made him grimace.

“This was all business from the start but I-”

A sob escaped her throat as she shook her head vehemently. Her eyes were rimmed brightly with red, yet no tears fell. She was shaking visibly from her pent-up emotion, and when it looked like she was about to crumble, he could not stop himself from going to her.

“Do not dare touch me,” Eleanor commanded, her voice trembling as she put one hand up and took several steps back. Her eyes were nearly red with rage as she looked at him with pure betrayal.

Xander forced his body to stop, his heart immediately screaming in protest.

“Honey,” he rasped, his voice thick and rough in his throat as his heart began to hammer, “Please, I-”

Without another word, Eleanor turned and left his study, thrusting the door open with so much force that crashed loudly into the wall on the other side, making him flinch.

Not sure what to do, Xander stood completely still. He had always controlled everyone, everything. And now suddenly it was as if he could not control anything at all. Not Richard. Not the blackmail. Not his wife… not his feelings.

“It hurts, does it not?”

Xander brought his head up, a sense of numbness filling him as he saw Richard leaning against the doorframe.

“You will leave if you know what is good for you,” Xander warned.

He had never felt this type of emotion before. It swallowed him whole and suffocated all breath and logical thought. Gone. It was all gone. And he did not trust himself to stop if he got his hands on his Richard.

“An eye for an eye, cousin,” Richard said bitterly, pushing away from the doorframe to leave. “You forced me away from my love. Now I have forced you away from yours.”