My Dangerous Duke (The Twisted Dukes #2)

Chapter 22

“ W hat on earth was that?” Eleanor asked, pricking her ears to the air.

The game of cards she and Penelope had been playing- the game of which she had still held cards in her hand for- was forgotten as soon as they had heard it. It could have been the storm. It would make sense. But, Eleanor knew that it was not. It was something- someone else.

“Stay here,” Penny commanded, her voice hollow as she let her cards fall to the table.

“You do not think that would be… There is a storm raging outside!” Eleanor muttered, getting up at once to follow her.

“I am pretty sure that would not be enough to stop him.” Rhysand shrugged.

“Rhysand, you promised not to tell him! Oh, I will deal with you later! For now, I must speak with Eleanor!”

Xander’s loud, pained, deep voice echoed through the hall, becoming much clearer as Penelope and Eleanor opened the door to the parlor. Together they peeked around the corner, and Eleanor’s heart leaped in her throat when she saw her disheveled, soaked husband. He was facing toward her and Penelope, but Rhysand and the butler were blocking him from seeing her or going any farther than the foyer.

He looked pained and wild, more like a beast than a man as his massive chest heaved and his soaked hair covered his silver eyes. Even when he spoke, there was more of a feral undertone than ever before. Despite her anger at him, Eleanor felt longing lace through her blood, and she fought the naive urge to run into his arms.

“Stay here, Eleanor, I will deal with him,” Penelope whispered, tugging at Eleanor’s chin. “You do not have to face him if you do not want to.”

Eleanor felt her gaze be forced away from Xander to one of her dearest friends. Eleanor did not say anything, but she gave a numb nod. Relief broke through Penelope’s tense look, and she nodded back at Eleanor as she let out a breath. She walked around the corner then, and Eleanor shrunk back until she was sure she could not be seen.

“Your Grace,” Penelope said, both sweetly and loudly as she approached Xander. “Pray, do keep your voice down. It is late and though our house is not full, there are still people trying to sleep.”

“Like my wife?” Xander demanded, setting his glare on Penelope as she approached.

Eleanor gripped the wall tighter.

“I believe that she is at odds with that sentiment at the moment,” Penelope went on.

Her voice tone was gentle, yet it held a sharp edge, making Eleanor almost want to smile. Many people underestimated Penny because she was so petite, but the truth was, she had quite a way with both truth and words. Her tongue could be a sharp as a blade and leave deep wounds if she was provoked.

“Please,” Xander said, his tone much calmer now.

He finally pushed the mop of wet hair out his eyes, revealing his molten silver orbs, and Eleanor felt her heart ache. She missed him. There was no denying it.

“I need to speak with her. I need her to know that it was not all a lie,” he went on. “She needs to know that my feelings, though unplanned, are very much real. I need… I need her to know I love her.”

Xander’s voice was not pleading by any means, but there was a strong emotion that left no room for doubt. Still, he had kept her in the dark about so many things. He had convinced her to believe him before. Is that all he was trying to do now?

“I will deliver your message, Your Grace,” Penelope replied, her chin held high as she clasped her hands together in front of her. “If I should so happen to see her.”

Xander’s expression darkened then, any empathy vanishing in the blink of an eye as he set his mouth into a grim line.

“I know she is here,” he stated, his tone firm but emotionless. “I know that Huxton lied to me about it. Now let me see my wife, or God help me-”

“Careful how you finish that sentence, Larsen,” Rhys threatened, his tone deadly as he stepped protectively in front of his wife.

Not able to take the scene anymore, Eleanor disobeyed her friend’s advice and walked out of her hiding place. Xander noticed her immediately, his head snapping in her direction so quickly, she feared him injured. His eyes grew wide as he saw her walking toward him, and he seemed to sway a little on his feet.

“Honey,” Xander whispered, taking a step toward her.

“Do not call me that,” Eleanor and Penelope stated in unison, with only Penelope changing the word me to her.

“Eleanor, you do not have to do this if you do not want to,” Penelope snapped.

She moved to stand between Eleanor and Xander, Rhys moving with her as if he were her shadow. Pain flooded through Xander’s eyes as his face disappeared behind Rhys’s shoulder, and she could not take it anymore. She knew her friends were trying to help and that they were probably right in keeping Xander away from her, but she needed one more moment. She needed one more opportunity to truly see if anything between them at all had been real. And she could not do that with an audience.

“Penny,” she said softly, touching her friend’s shoulder lightly.

Her friend turned to her, her expressions full of concern as she looked at her.

“Thank you so, so much, for everything you have done for me,” Eleanor went on. “But I need to speak to my husband. Alone.”

“You may use the parlor,” Rhysand said after a moment.

Penelope and Rhysand then moved out of the way, but before Rhys went to stand with his wife, Penny took a couple of steps toward Xander and raised a warning finger at him.

“I find out that she has shed one tear. One. And I will have Rhys take care of you. Are we clear?” She asked, her voice laced with promise.

Eleanor tensed as she thought Xander was about to lash back, but to her surprise, he only raised his hands in the air, looked at Rhys levelly, and replied, “And I shall let him.”

Not waiting to see if Xander followed her, Eleanor walked back to the parlor and opened the door wide. Relief poured through her when she soon heard Xander’s hurried footsteps, and then the sound of the door shutting behind him. Her heart leaped as she realized that they were alone. Together. For the first in almost a week.

Her body suddenly became aware of his close proximity, and she felt heat rise through her skin again. She needed to turn around. To face him and demand him to talk. But now it was her feet that could not move.

“Hon-” Xander sighed, stopping himself.

It pained him not to call her by her pet name now. The relief that had poured through his body when he saw her appear nearly knocked him off of his feet. But… when she had reacted so viciously to his name for her- when it made her brown eyes practically turn red with rage, it made his very being feel as heavy as lead. Still, he would not push her. He had done that enough.

“Eleanor,” he corrected, pleading to her back, “Please, tell me, are you well? Have you been eating? God, you look so frail. Did you fall ill again?”

Eleanor’s shoulders sagged as if she were in pain, and she lowered her head as a soft sound escaped her throat. Tension filled him as he went to her, unable to keep his hands to himself any longer, and he grasped her shoulders before turning her around. His heart broke as he saw the pained look on her face and the redness of her nose and eyes. Not a tear had fallen but he could tell that it was taking everything within her not to do so.

Her eyes, her beautiful honey eyes, would not meet his. Instead, they stayed focused on the floor, as if God himself could not will her neck up. Her entire body had begun to tremble in his hands the moment he touched her, and he could not be sure if he should release or tighten his hold on her.

“Eleanor, sweetheart, tell me what has happened,” he implored, massaging his hands up and down her arms.

“You.”

She spit the word out so venomously that Xander flinched.

“You are what has happened. You and my father. You used me. You both used me for your own interests.”

Her voice broke as she said the word used , and unable to help himself, Xander pulled her to his chest. She did not fight him, but her arms came up between them instantly, stopping their torsos from touching as her head stayed locked downward.

“I did what I was forced to do,” Xander replied, his chest heavy with emotion as he held her as close as she would allow.

“You were not forced to seduce me!” She bit out, pushing her fists harder into his chest. “You were not forced to take my maidenhood and make me believe that I was loved!”

“You are loved,” Xander grit out, his hands moving to her face in an instant.

Though his voice was gruff his touch was incredibly gentle. He wrapped his palms around her delicate jaw, framing it, and applied the softest of pressure as he then silently begged her to look up. With patience, he waited, refusing to force her movements, and he almost fell to his knees with relief when Eleanor’s honey-brown eyes rose to meet his.

Thank you, he silently praised, pulling in a steadying breath.

“You are loved, Eleanor,” Xander repeated, his thumbs gently stroking her jaw, “I love you so incredibly much, and I tried not to. I tried to keep you away from me because I knew you deserved better and I thought I could not be that for you. I was so focused on trying to get out from under your father’s thumb that I could not see how wrong I was about that.

“But my issue… my issue has always been about control. I have needed to handle things on my own since my parents died, and any time I have leaned on another for aid it has ended poorly. Up until you, life taught me that people could be appreciated but not trusted, ever.”

“Xander,” Eleanor whispered, emotion reflecting in her eyes. Not sympathy or pity, but understanding. It was a tone that spurred him to continue, even though he had never revealed so much about himself to another in his life.

“Our marriage was built on blackmail, Eleanor, you cannot deny that, but you? Your presence? It was healing. Intoxicating. Devilishly annoying, and it made me feel things, realize things that I have never allowed myself before.”

“Do you not understand that you made me feel the same?” She asked, her hand pressing to her chest as her brow furrowed. “I have never felt for a man the way I feel about you. Ever. And I so thought when I started to feel this way about you- and saw that you might feel such a way toward me, I thought that was a sign! A sign that I could finally be with a man that might love me. But you were not. You were just the suitor my father finally succeeded in selling me to.”

“No!” Xander burst out, his silver eyes wide with panic. “No, honey please do not say that. I can be that man for you, Eleanor, I crave to be that man for you,” he added emphatically.

“How am I to be sure that is true?” She burst out, confusion and fear clear on her face.

“Please,” he whispered his voice barely audible to himself as he felt a fist tighten around his heart, “Let me prove it to you.”

Xander’s breath stilled as seconds of silence ticked by. He wanted to say more, so much more, but he did not want to overwhelm her. So, he waited. Letting the seconds stretch into a minute, his chest growing tighter with each tick of the clock. Then, in a move that shattered his heart, Eleanor shook her head.

His entire body went cold and numb as he saw a single tear escape its prison and roll down her cheek. It was a symbol of defeat. Of failure. And it was all his doing. His lungs screamed at him to breathe, but he could not. He did not deserve to.

“I love you so much.”

The words came out of Eleanor’s lips in a quiet sob as more tears fell, and her brokenhearted expression lifted away from her beautiful features. Gently, she nuzzled her chin into his touch; the smallest show of trust.

Breath slammed in Xander’s lungs so deeply it felt like a kick to the chest, but it was a kick he would accept every damned day if it meant what he thought it meant. Eleanor’s hands unfurled from their fists then and slid from his chest up to his neck. A broken groan of relief and pain broke through Xander’s lips as she then laced her arms around him, and they pulled one another into a kiss.

Emotion tore through him as he felt her lips tentatively brush against his- a feeling he feared he would never experience again- and crushed her to him as he deepened the kiss. Eleanor whimpered as he did so, her body melting, seeping into his as they finally reunited. His knees buckled then, either from emotion or keeping them locked with tension for so long, but he took them down gracefully, sweeping Eleanor into his lap.

“Honey,” he breathed raggedly between their kisses, his hands roaming anywhere and everywhere he could find bare flesh.

“Yes, husband?” She murmured, her tongue sliding teasingly over his bottom lip.

Xander moaned, unable to help it, and continued talking through their kisses.

“Not that I did not deserve it, but please do not ever do that again. The moment you shook your head was the most terrifying moment of my life.”

Eleanor’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck then as she kissed him deeper, so tight she nearly choked him, and when she did release him, there was no laughter in her eyes. He suddenly realized that he was not completely pardoned yet, and while their kiss was a very good sign, there was still much to be resolved. Much for her to forgive.

“I love you,” she repeated, her golden eyes glimmering with affection, “But that does not mean I forgive you. Not yet. There is much you have kept from me. More than just your true feelings. And we will talk about them, all of them, or you will leave this house alone. No matter how much it would break my heart.”

Xander nodded, understanding the brevity of such a conversation. There was no way he was leaving that night without her, and therefore, anything she wanted, he would give her. With care, he rose from his knees with Eleanor still in his arms and carried her over to the nearest couch.

“I will share everything,” he promised, setting her down gently. He then took a seat on the opposite side, close enough to lean in and touch her, but far enough for her to have her own space when she needed it.

“But Eleanor,” he warned, meeting her eyes and feeling that warmth again, “I want you to understand that everything I am about to say is true.”

“Good,” she replied, nodding her head readily. “That is all I want.”