My December Darling

22. Catalina

22

CATALINA

L uke and I spend the next few days balancing our work schedules, writing the maid of honor speech, and making some good progress on the LEGO set. I wish I could slow time down, but the days go by too quickly, and next thing I know, Gabriela and Aiden’s big day is finally here.

While I’m happy for my sister, I’m counting down the hours until it’s over. As the maid of honor, my duties are endless from the moment I wake up. Makeup and hair appointments. Countless photo-ops, first in matching robes, followed by our wedding outfits. A first-look photoshoot that had Gabriela ruining her makeup and left Aiden teary-eyed, which was both lovely and frustrating seeing as my sister needed to have her face retouched a few minutes before she was expected to walk down the aisle.

I haven’t seen Luke yet, so when I find him waiting for me at the foot of the stairs, my heart skips a few beats. Yesterday, we practiced this same routine of exiting the small building attached to the back of the church together and walking down the aisle at the same time, but this time, it feels different.

I’ve seen Luke in scrubs, jeans, and a ridiculous elf costume that still makes me break out into laughter to this day, but him in a tux?

Damn . I’m struck with the urge to kiss him until we’re both breathless, lipstick be damned.

“You look…” His darkening gaze travels down the length of me, making me shiver. “Absolutely stunning.”

My knees go weak at the huskiness in his voice, and I wobble on my heels. I reach for the stair rail before I lose my balance and fall forward.

“You think so?”

“I won’t be able to keep my eyes off you.”

My cheeks warm under his hungry eyes. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He smooths out his lapels. “Less Captain America, more Batman today?”

I crack a smile. “Eh. I wouldn’t go that far.”

“You sure know how to compliment a man.”

I take another step closer to him. “Would you rather I say what’s really on my mind?”

“By all means.”

“I’m thinking of every way I can get you out of that tux.”

His devilish smile holds a secret promise. “Now I feel better about my own thoughts then.”

Heat blasts down my spine like invisible flames licking at my skin as I take the last few steps before stopping at the landing. Luke holds his arm out, and we lock elbows as he guides us toward the double doors that open up to the short walking path that wraps around the back of the church and ends right at the front where Gabriela will start her bridal march.

“I’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands to myself tonight,” his husky whisper makes my lower half throb.

“Who said you have to?”

His brow arches. “Is that an invitation to do whatever I want?”

I nearly drop the small bouquet I’m holding. “Possibly.”

“It’s a yes-no question.”

“Let’s get through the ceremony and reception first,” I say instead.

He pulls my hand toward his mouth and kisses the back of it. “That’s not the answer I was looking for.”

I look up at him with a smile. “I’d rather keep you on your toes.”

“You don’t have to try too hard when you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.”

Butterflies burst inside me, turning my stomach into a giddy mess.

I’m not sure how I’ll survive the next four hours in Luke’s proximity while he looks at me like he is thinking of ten different ways to undress me, but I’m going to try my best for Gabriela’s sake. The last thing she needs is her maid of honor ditching the party early to go hook up with the best man.

But that won’t stop me from counting down the minutes until I can.

I’m a ball of nerves as I rise from my seat in the reception hall and walk toward the mic. Luke’s speech left the crowd laughing, as to be expected given his well-timed jokes and expertly crafted lines, so I’m only feeling added pressure to do well.

I walk over to Luke, who covers the mic with the palm of his hand before leaning over to press his mouth against my ear.

“You got this.”

“I’m so freaking anxious,” I say with a tense smile.

“Just picture me naked.” He winks before handing me the mic. “It’ll make me feel less guilty about doing the same while you’re up here.”

My mouth falls open as Luke wraps my hand around the microphone. His comment flusters me so much, I forget about how worried I am. Sexually frustrated, yes, but equally thankful, nonetheless.

With a wink, he heads back to his seat beside my empty one.

I clear my throat before pulling out my cellphone, opening my note-taking app, and turning to my sister and Aiden, who sit at a table facing the rest of the reception hall. Gabriela waves at me with a smile, and I return it with one of my own before facing the tables full of wedding guests.

“To those of you who don’t know me, that was most likely intentional on my part, so allow me to introduce myself as Catalina, the antisocial Martinez sister, or to Aiden’s family, the ex-girlfriend who still gets to enjoy his home-cooked meals without ever having to marry him.”

Gabriela’s cackling laugh filters through the air, making half of us break out into laughter as well, thus building my confidence.

I glance over at Luke, who leans back in his chair with his arms crossed. He looks at me like I’m the only person in the room, and damn, I’m tempted to ditch the reception and sneak out with him instead.

Someone coughs, stealing my attention away from the man who always seems to capture it.

You can do this.

“I’m not one for long speeches—or social gatherings for that matter—so I’ll keep this short.”

A few people clap before they’re shushed by the crowd.

“When Gabriela and my parents taught us that ‘sharing is caring,’ I don’t think they had boyfriends in mind.” More people laugh this time, and some of the tension in my shoulders loosens. “I should’ve guessed it was a possibility given how my sister always stole my Ken dolls, but my parents said she would grow out of that phase…or so we thought.”

Thankfully, more people laugh this time.

“Anyone who knows Aiden understands why Gabriela would fall in love with him. In fact, I’m the first one to admit that she has impeccable taste.” I look over at her and wink, and Gabriela’s smile widens.

“See, my sister has dreamed of meeting her prince charming ever since she was a little girl who forced me into wearing our father’s suit for our pretend weddings while drawing a mustache across my upper lip with a Sharpie.” The group of women near the back of the room gasp. “I know . To think people call her the nice Martinez sister when she single-handedly gave me a permanent mustache during picture week.”

“I thought it was a washable marker!” my sister shouts.

“So you say…” A wave of chuckles follows my comment. “Anyway, Gabriela had this stage where she was obsessed with weddings. She would watch the video of our parents getting married like it was her favorite movie, pointing out everything she loved about their special day. The flowers. The big, puffy dress. Our father waiting at the end of the aisle for his ‘princess’ as she put it.

“But little by little, as Gabriela got older, her view on weddings and husbands matured. It wasn’t about the event, but rather the person she pictured standing at the end of the aisle. The man who would stick by her through the good and the bad. For richer and for poorer. In sickness and in health.” My eyes sting, and I’m surprised I’ve held off on crying up until now. I avoid locking eyes with my sister, who is sniffling loudly behind me, solely because I know that one glance at her and my tears will never stop flowing.

On the one hand, I’m so happy for her, but on the other, I yearn for a love like hers. A love that might not be perfect, but one that will stand the test of time and all the trials that life brings our way.

I sneak another look in Luke’s direction and catch the proud smile on his face.

You got this , he mouths, flooding me with enough confidence to continue despite the ache in my chest.

I take a deep breath to gather myself. “My sister always knew what she wanted, which is why nothing made me happier than the moment she realized Aiden was the man who she saw herself sharing a life with.”

Silverware clangs against water goblets and wineglasses again.

“The two of them are incredible people in their own right, but together? They’re the power couple we all aspire to be, and I can’t imagine two people better suited for each other. They make me believe that there is always room for love in our lives, so long as we are open to accepting the kind we think we deserve.”

I turn to face my brother-in-law.

“Aiden, you embody everything my father is to my mother, which is exactly what my sister wanted and more, so thank you for loving her as much as we do and then some. We’re happy to have you as part of our family, and I speak for every Martinez-Rivera here tonight when I say that we look forward to seeing your own family grow, along with your love for Gabriela. Congratulations, you two. I love you both more than words can express.”

My heart pounds in my ears, so I can hardly make out the sound of everyone clapping for me until I return the microphone to its stand and take a step away from it. My whole face warms up from hundreds of eyes on me, and I wish I could slink into the shadows. The DJ plays music, drowning out the sound of my heels clicking against the dance floor as I head back to my seat beside Luke’s.

“Be honest with me. How did I do?”

Luke drags my chair closer to his until our legs touch. “Amazing.” He pushes my wineglass into my trembling hand. “You were perfect up there and didn’t mess up once.”

“I heard some laughs.”

“And a few sniffles.”

“I’m sure my mom will give me a speech later about making my sister cry.”

“And Aiden .”

I push his shoulder with a laugh. “No way.”

“You didn’t see him discreetly dabbing at his eyes with the cloth napkin?”

“No. I tried to avoid looking at them directly.”

“Hopefully, the videographer recorded it so I can save it as his contact photo.”

I swallow my laugh. “So it went well you think?”

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Yes, except I’m curious about that new part you added.”

My brows crinkle together. “What new part?”

“That they made you believe in love.”

“Oh. Right.” I look everywhere but his face. “It was a last-minute addition.” And clearly a stupid one based on the way he is looking at me.

His face remains unreadable as he nods. “I noticed.”

“Was it too sappy?” I don’t let him answer before saying, “Yeah. Definitely cheesy. Ugh.” I wrinkle my nose. “I should’ve run it by you first before embarrassing myself up there?—”

He cuts my rambling off with a fierce kiss that does the trick of shutting me up.

“Did you mean it?” he asks after pulling away.

“Mean what?” I blink up at him, too dazed to follow his line of thinking.

“That there is always room for love in our lives, so long as we are open to accepting the kind we think we deserve ,” he directly quotes my speech without missing a single word.

His intense gaze has me staring down at my lap. “I think so.”

I’ve had my share of boyfriends in the past, including Aiden, but after him, I stopped trying to find someone good enough to marry one day. I’ve told myself countless times that I stuck to casual flings and guys who weren’t interested in anything serious because it felt safe. I knew what I was getting myself into, so there was no risk of getting hurt or worse, hurting someone else.

Thinking back on it, maybe I picked people who were strictly casual because I didn’t think I deserved the kind of love my sister and her now-husband have. After all, I was the reason they couldn’t be together in the first place.

My poor life choices caused my sister to suffer and keep her feelings about Aiden to herself, so I decided that she was the one who deserved her happy ending with the guy of her dreams while I punished myself for being so damn selfish and oblivious to everyone else’s feelings. But in the process, I was ignoring my own needs, wants, and dreams.

My sister wouldn’t want me to hurt myself like this. She’d love for me to be happy too, and it’s time I consider what that looks like. What my life could be like, should I let go of my self-sabotaging habits first.

Luke seems to read my mind as he asks, “What kind of love do you think you deserve then?”

“I’m not sure,” I answer honestly, my voice small and hardly audible over the music streaming from the speakers.

He clasps my chin between his fingers and looks me in the eyes as he says, “Then it’s up to us to figure it out. Together .”