My Secret Santa Axton (Silver Ridge Christmas)

6. Tangled Up

Tangled Up

MEL

I smooth down my dress, catching Kenzie's eye in the mirror. She grins, giving me a thumbs up.

"You look amazing, Mel. Zach won't know what hit him."

I force a smile, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in my stomach. It's just dinner at Millie's, nothing fancy. But it's been so long since I've been on a real date, I feel like a teenager again.

"Thanks for helping me get ready," I say, turning to face her. "I probably would've chickened out if you weren't here."

Kenzie's expression softens. "That's what friends are for. Now, tell me about these Secret Santa gifts again. You think they're from Zach?"

I nod, reaching for the small tin on my dresser. "This was the first one. Homemade peppermint bark – my favorite. And look at the note."

I hand her the card, watching as she reads the simple message: "For the one who lights up the season."

"That's sweet," Kenzie says, but there's a hint of skepticism in her voice. "And the book of poems?"

I reach for the book of poems on my dresser, running my fingers over the soft leather cover. The memory of finding it at the shop washes over me.

It was just sitting there on the counter, no note, no explanation. I opened it, curious, and found verses highlighted in soft pencil.

Words about unwavering love and devotion jumped out at me, making the lining of my heart burn.

Words that mirror those lurking in my heart for the man that will never get out of his own way and accept the love I'm willing to give so freely.

For a moment, I thought of Axton. He knew I loved poetry, especially lines that felt like secret messages. But I shook off the idea. We've been butting heads for months and once we've added in the old bunkhouse project and working toghet, it seems worse than ever. There's no way he'd do something this thoughtful.

I reasoned it had to be Zach. Sweet, dependable Zach who always went the extra mile.

I release the book to Kenize for her to flip through the pages, my stomach twisting. Because I called Zach up and finally accepted his dinner invitation.

After all these years. After I broke his heart because he wasn't Axton.

The memory of that day in the coffee shop hits me like a punch to the gut. Zach's hopeful eyes, his hand reaching for mine. The weight of the engagement ring he'd offered the night before.

And me, unable to meet his gaze as I told him I couldn't marry him. That my heart still belonged to someone else.

Now I'm giving him another chance. Or maybe I'm the one getting a second chance.

I smooth down my dress, trying to quiet the doubts swirling in my mind.

Zach's a good man. He deserves someone who can love him fully.

Can that someone be me this time?

I don't know. But I owe it to both of us to find out.

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer," Kenzie reads aloud. "That's... oddly specific."

I shrug, taking the book back. "It's romantic. Zach's always been thoughtful like that."

"Mel," Kenzie says gently, "are you sure it's from Zach? It seems... I don't know, different somehow."

I bristle slightly, defensive. "Who else would it be from? Zach knows me, he remembers things. It's not like..."

I trail off, not wanting to say his name. It's bad enough that I think about him around the clock. But Kenzie finishes the thought for me.

"It's not like Axton?"

I turn away, busying myself with my makeup. "Axton has made it pretty clear where he stands. And this isn't about him. This is about me."

Kenzie's quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is soft. "You know, sometimes nostalgia can cloud our judgment. Trust me, I've been there."

I meet her eyes in the mirror, seeing the understanding there. She's thinking of Ian, I realize. Of all the times she convinced herself he'd change.

Ian, a Silver Ridge native, lured Kenzie here sweet words and broken promises. He said they'd have a relationship and build a life only for her to discover he was married. His wife, Paige, tried to make her life a living hell. Everywhere Kenzie turned, they called her a homewrecker.

"This is different," I insist. "Zach and I have history, sure, but we're both different people now. I'm open to seeing where it goes."

Kenzie nods, but I can tell she's not entirely convinced. "Just... be careful, okay? Make sure you're doing this for the right reasons."

I turn to face her fully, taking a deep breath. "I want what you and Everett have. What my parents have. Real, lasting love. I'm tired of being the fifth wheel. And if Axton can't—or won't —give me that, then I need to be open to finding it elsewhere."

Kenzie squeezes my hand. "I get it. Just... stay true to yourself, Mel. That's the most important thing."

I nod, grateful for her support even as I push down the lingering doubts. This is the right thing to do. It has to be.

As Kenzie gathers her things to leave, I take one last look in the mirror. For a moment, I see Axton's face reflected back at me. His distant gaze from our last encounter at the bunkhouse, the way he'd pulled away after that searing kiss.

I close my eyes, pushing the memory aside. When I open them again, it's just me staring back.

"You've got this," I whisper to my reflection. "Time to move forward."

With a deep breath, I grab my purse and head out the door. My heart may still be tangled up in Axton, but tonight is about giving Zach a real chance. It's about taking a step towards the future I want, even if it feels like I'm leaving a piece of myself behind.

The drive to Millie's is a blur of Christmas lights and swirling thoughts. By the time I pull into the parking lot, my palms are sweating. I spot Zach's car and take a steadying breath before getting out.

Zach driving a car was the first sign he wasn't really from The Ridge. This place is about trucks, horses, and tractors. Not sports cars.

"But that's not the point, Mel," I groan getting out of my truck and walking toward the entrance.

The familiar warmth of Millie's wraps around me as I step inside. The diner is decked out for the holidays, with twinkling lights and garlands adding a festive glow to the red vinyl booths.

I scan the room and see Zach waving from a corner table. He stands as I approach, his smile genuine and warm.

"Mel, you look beautiful."

His dark eyes sparkle with appreciation, taking in my dress. Zach's tall, lean frame is wrapped in a crisp button-down and tailored slacks that scream "city lawyer."

His neatly trimmed black hair, touched with a hint of distinguished gray at the temples, is a far cry from Axton's perpetually tousled blonde.

Zach's clean-shaven face and manicured nails stand out in a town where most men sport stubble and calluses. His polished loafers click against the diner's linoleum, a stark contrast to the scuffed work boots that populate Millie's.

He pulls out my chair with a flourish, the gesture smooth and practiced. It's charming, but I can't help noticing how his hands lack the rough edges and scars that mark Axton's.

"You clean up pretty nice yourself," I say, settling into my seat.

"Thank you," he chuckles, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners. "Though I must admit, I was surprised when you agreed to dinner. Pleasantly surprised, of course."

I fidget with my napkin, unsure how to respond. Before I can overthink it, Betty appears at our table, notepad in hand.

Betty Thompson bustles over, her gray curls bouncing with each step. Her apron, emblazoned with "Kiss the Cook," is splattered with flour and what looks like cherry pie filling.

"Well, if it isn't Mel Peterson and Zach Bradley," she says, her eyes twinkling. "I was beginning to think you two were avoiding my cooking."

She's one of the best cooks in Silver Ridge and the biggest gossip, too. I bet this date will be across town before she returns to the counter.

I smile. "Never, Miss Betty. Your food's the best in town."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, honey." She winks, then turns to Zach. "And you, Mr. City Slicker. Finally decided to grace us with your presence?"

Zach grins, taking the teasing in stride. He relocated and moved his law practice to Billings after our engagement ended. "Couldn't stay away from your famous pie, Betty."

"Smart man." She slaps menus down in front of us. "Now, I'd love to chat, but these pies won't bake themselves. Though Lord knows I've tried wishing them into existence. What can I get you two lovebirds?"

I feel my cheeks heat up. "Just coffee for now, Betty. Thanks."

Zach orders the same, and soon we're alone again. An awkward silence stretches between us until he clears his throat.

"So, how's the ranch? Miss Steph and Big Bear keeping you busy?"

I latch onto the safe topic gratefully. "Yeah, you know my folks. Always got a million projects going on. We're actually in the middle of tearing down the old bunkhouse..."

I trail off, realizing I'm about to mention Axton. Zach doesn't seem to notice, nodding along.

"That's great. I always loved how passionate you are about the ranch and shelter. It's one of the things I admired most about you."

His words are kind, but they stir a strange mix of emotions in me. I force a smile, redirecting the conversation. "What about you? How's your law practice treating you?"

Zach launches into a story about a recent case, his enthusiasm evident. I try to focus, to be present in this moment. But part of me can't help comparing his polished words to Axton's gruff directness, his perfectly styled hair to Axton's perpetual mess of dirty blond.

Stop it , Melanie , I scold myself. You're here with Zach. He's kind, successful, clearly interested. This is what moving on looks like.

As the evening progresses, we fall into an easy rhythm of conversation. Zach is charming, attentive, and everything I should want. But there's a disconnect, a feeling that I'm play-acting at something that should come naturally.

I'm halfway through my burger and Zach has barely touched his steak. He reaches across the table, his hand covering mine.

"Mel, I have to say, I'm really enjoying this. I'd like to see where things could go between us, if you're open to it."

I freeze, with a fry halfway to my mouth. This is the moment, I realize. The chance to truly move forward, to let go of the what-ifs and maybes that have kept me tethered to Axton for so long.

But before I can respond, a prickle runs down my spine. I glance towards the window, my breath catching in my throat.

Axton .

He's sitting in his truck across the street, his eyes locked on me. Even from this distance, I can see the storm of emotions on his face—hurt, anger, longing.

"Mel?" Zach's voice pulls me back. "Everything okay?"

I tear my gaze away from the window, forcing a smile. "Yeah, sorry. I just thought I saw... never mind. What were you saying?"

Zach squeezes my hand gently. "I was saying I'd like to see where this goes. Us, I mean."

I swallow hard, acutely aware of Axton's presence just outside. This is my chance to move on, to find the stability I've been craving. But as I open my mouth to agree, all I can think about is the way Axton's lips felt against mine, the electricity that sparked between us even as he pushed me away.

"I... I'd like that too," I hear myself say, the words ringing hollow in my ears.

Zach beams, clearly pleased. But I can't shake the feeling that I've just made a terrible mistake.

As we finish our meal and head outside, I scan the parking lot, my heart racing. But Axton's truck is gone, leaving nothing but an empty space and a gnawing ache in my chest.

Zach pulls me into a warm hug, his cologne wrapping around me. It's nice, comforting even. But it's not the scent of pine and leather that I crave, not the strong arms that make me feel truly safe.

"I'll call you," Zach says as he pulls away, his smile hopeful.

I nod, managing a small smile of my own. "Sounds good. Drive safe."

As I watch him drive away, I'm hit with a wave of unease that threatens to knock me off my feet. I turn back towards the spot where Axton's truck had been, half-hoping to see him there.

But the space remains empty.

It's stupid really. To hold on to a childhood crush over a single kiss. To give a man my heart when he won't even give me the time of day.

I climb into my truck, my hands shaking slightly as I grip the steering wheel. The date with Zach should have been a step forward, a chance at the kind of love I've always wanted. Instead, it feels like I've taken two steps back, my heart more tangled up in Axton than ever.

As I drive home, the Christmas lights blur through my tears. I've spent so long convincing myself I could move on and find happiness with someone else. But seeing Axton tonight has shattered that illusion even from a distance.

I park in front of my house, but I can't bring myself to go inside just yet. Instead, I sit in the darkness, letting the tears fall freely now.

"What am I doing?" I whisper to the empty cabin.

I don't have an answer. All I know is that no matter how hard I try to move forward, my heart remains firmly anchored to Axton O'Connor. And I have no idea how to set it free.