My Secret Santa Axton (Silver Ridge Christmas)

14. Protecting You

Protecting You

AXTON

"You ever wonder how different things might've been?" Mel asks, her voice soft. "If you hadn't left for the military?"

"Every damn day."

Mel turns, her eyes meeting mine. There's a vulnerability there I'm not used to seeing.

"Why'd you go, Ax? Really?"

I lean against the kitchen counter, watching Mel stir a pot of stew on the stove. The cabin's warm and cozy, with the relentless storm as a backdrop.

We've been stuck here for days, and it's given us time to get to know each other again. Time to agitate the skeletons in my closet.

I swallow hard, fighting the urge to deflect. We've danced around this for days, but maybe it's time to face it head-on.

"I thought I was protecting you."

"From what?"

"From me," I confess. "From turning into my old man."

Her eyes round in shock. This is the one secret that never hit the Silver Ridge rumor mill. My family kept our secrets hidden from all that could save us from the monster I called father.

"My old man..." I start, then stop, the words catching. Mel's hand finds mine, her touch grounding me. "He was a mean drunk. Unpredictable. We never knew what would set him off."

Mel's fingers tighten around mine, but she stays silent, letting me find my way through this.

"I remember this one night. I was twelve, maybe thirteen. We were all at the dinner table. Mom, my sister, my brother. Dad came home late, reeking of booze."

I close my eyes. "He started in on Mom about dinner being cold. I could see her bracing for it, that look in her eyes. When he shoved his plate off the table, I just... I couldn't take it anymore."

My voice drops to a whisper. "I told him it wasn't her fault. He backhanded me so hard I saw stars."

Mel's sharp intake of breath cuts through the cabin. When I open my eyes, hers are shining with unshed tears.

"Ax," she breathes, but I shake my head. If I stop now, I might never get it all out.

"I didn't cry. Wouldn't give him the satisfaction. But after that... I made sure I was always between him and the others. Better me than them, you know?"

Mel nods, her thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand.

"Mom never left him. Not even after he put her in the hospital. She always made excuses, covered for him. And then one night I..."

I trail off, the words sticking in my throat. Mel waits, patient and steady beside me.

"You want?" she prompts softly when I don't continue.

No one knows what happened that night.

"You can trust me."

She must hear this kids of stories daily. The women that flee abuse from the men that should protect them.

It's God's work that they're doing at Silver Ridge Women's Shelter. Mel and Miss Steph are changing people's lives. It makes me realize I want to help them. Maybe financially back them hiring in house counselors so those kids don't end up like me.

Scared to trust myself with love .

I exhale, wrestling with the memory that churns in my gut, mixing shame with anger.

"You ever see those old war movies? The ones with the ticking time bomb?" I ask, my voice rough.

Mel nods, her eyes never leaving mine.

"That was our house. Every night. Waiting for the explosion." I clench my jaw, fighting back the flood of memories. "And my old man? He was the detonator."

"Ax…," Mel whispers.

"I couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk hurting someone I loved..." I trail off, the word 'loved' hanging unspoken between us. "So I left."

Mel's fingers tighten around mine. "And now?"

I look at our intertwined hands, feeling the weight of everything unsaid. "Now? I'm trying to be the man Big Bear showed me I could be."

Mel's eyes soften at the mention of her father.

Big Bear, with his steady hands and gentle voice, was always there—an anchor in a world that felt ready to spin out of control. He showed me that not all men treated women like my father did. He treated Miss Steph like a queen. The love and respect he had for her lit up the room around them.

Big Bear was living proof that love didn’t have to be tainted by violence and cruelty. He helped me see that change was possible, that I didn’t have to repeat the cycle of abuse.

But still, the rage in me was a beast I couldn’t tame. I felt it lurking just beneath the surface like a dormant volcano. I knew I had to leave before it erupted—before I became the very thing I despised. I couldn’t bear the thought of directing that violence at someone I loved.

So, to protect Mel from my darkness, I thought leaving was the only option. But in the back of my mind, I knew that my fear had robbed us both of a future, chaining me to the very past I sought to escape.

"He showed me... what a real man looks like. How he treats people. How he loves." I meet Mel's gaze, willing her to understand. "But that anger, Mel. It was in me. Like lava under the surface."

"But you're not your father, Axton," Mel says firmly.

"You don't know that," I whisper.

Mel abandons the stew, closing the distance between us.

"I do." She cups my face in her hands, her touch gentle and soothing. "The man I know, the man I love, would never raise a hand to me or anyone else in anger. You protect people, Ax. You don't hurt them."

Her words rip the air from my lungs. I lean into her touch, letting everything that she is seep into me.

Mel pulls me close, wrapping her arms around me. I bury my face in her neck, breathing in the scent of her. And more of her light disintegrates the walls I needed to survive that house. To survive my family.

"What about you? Why'd you stay in Silver Ridge?"

She shrugs, a sad smile playing on her lips. "At first, I hung around thinking you'd return someday."

I cup her face in my hands, my thumb tracing her cheekbone. "I'm sorry, Mel. For leaving. For staying away."

"I'm sorry too," she whispers. "For not fighting harder to keep you here. But over the years, I've realized this is my home. We do work I believe in. We change lives. And it's become my mission too, not just my mother's."

I lean in, drawn by an invisible force.

Our lips meet, soft and patient. It's different from before. This one's honest and raw. It's like we're finally seeing each other clearly.

My hand cups her face, thumb tracing her cheekbone. She sighs into my mouth, and I need to consume her…mind, body, and soul.

I deepen the kiss, tasting her, savoring her. My other hand finds the small of her back, pulling her closer.

Mel's fingers tangle in my hair, nails scraping lightly against my scalp. A low growl escapes me, and I feel her smile against my lips.

"Axton," she breathes, barely breaking the kiss.

I pull back slightly, resting my forehead against hers. "Yeah?"

"Is this real? Are you really here with me?"

Her eyes hold mine, steady yet soft as if she’s revealing something fragile beneath the surface, and its intensity sends a dull ache through my chest.

"I'm here, Mel. I've always been here, even when I was too scared to show it."

She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. I brush it away with my thumb.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to?—"

Mel cuts me off with another kiss, this one more urgent. Her tongue slides against mine, and I groan, tightening my grip on her waist. She tastes like hot chocolate and hope for a second chance, and I can't get enough.

We stumble backward until her back hits the kitchen counter. I lift her easily, setting her on the edge. She wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me flush against her. The heat of her core against me nearly undoes me.

"Mel," I pant, breaking the kiss. "We should slow down. I don't want to?—"

"Don't you dare stop," she interrupts, nipping at my bottom lip. "We've waited years for this."

Her words send a jolt of electricity through me. I've dreamed of this moment for so long, but the reality is so much better.

Mel's hands roam my chest, slipping under my shirt to trace the scars there. I shudder at her touch, equal parts aroused and terrified.

"You're the only one," I murmur against her neck, trailing kisses down to her collarbone. "The only woman I've ever wanted like this. But I'm not making love to you until you're sure. We're sure."

" Wwwwwhhhhhhyyyyy …" Mel arches into me, a soft moan escaping her lips. " Oh my god , Ax, you chose to act like a good guy right now ?"

"Act?" I tease, thankful she doesn't see it as rejection. Because once I enter her, there's no going back.

"Yes. Act? "

"Everything I am is yours." I hold her gaze, letting her see into my soul. Her eyes are dark with desire, but there's a softness there, too. A vulnerability that matches my own. "I love you, Melanie Peterson."

Tears well up in her eyes, but she's smiling.

"I love you too, Axton O'Connor. Even when you were being a stubborn idiot. And you're holding the dick hostage."

I laugh. The sound is rusty but genuine. "Especially then?"

"Hell, no!" She nods, leaning in to brush her lips against mine. "But…I understand."

"Thank you."

We kiss again, slower this time. Less frantic, but no less passionate. It feels like coming home, like finding a piece of myself I didn't know was missing.

Mel pulls back slightly, her breath warm against my lips. "Come on," she whispers. "Let me feed you."

Mel and I fall into a comfortable routine as the day wears on. It feels good to finally level with her about leaving, but there's a subject we haven't discussed.

The man she had dinner with the night I gave her the locket.

We take turns adding logs to the fire, play cards, and talk about everything and nothing. It's easy, being with her like this. Too easy.

"Tell me about your team," Mel says as we sit on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate warming her hands. "Raven V, right? How did that all start?"

I pause, weighing how much to tell her. But I've already decided to let her in, haven't I? Might as well go all in.

"It started with Everett," I begin. "After we left the Marines, he had this idea. A team that could handle the missions too sensitive for official channels. He recruited us one by one—me, Owen, Callum, Jace. The Marines made us soldiers. Everett made us a team. And the missions have made us brothers."

The most important mission we've completed—finding and rescuing Kenzie—proved our skillset as a unit and how well we work together.

Mel listens intently, her eyes never leaving my face. "And IronWreck? How does that fit in?"

"We all have our own business outside Raven V," I explain. "I started IronWreck to use the skills I honed in the military and to create something meaningful for my future. It’s a way to stay busy, generate jobs, and grow my expertise. It also helps give me legitimate reasons to travel and to have access to certain areas."

She nods, processing. "Is that why you came back to Silver Ridge? For a mission?"

The question catches me off guard. I look away, staring into the fire.

"No," I admit quietly. "I retired and came back because I couldn't see myself staying anywhere you weren't."

I steal a glance at Mel and catch her watching me, her eyes steady but her lips pressed together, as if waiting for a sign but bracing herself all the same.

"So, why didn't you write?"

The pain in her voice cuts deep. I close my eyes, remembering the countless letters I wrote but never sent.

"I thought it would be easier for you to move on if you didn't hear from me."

Mel sets her mug down, her movements deliberate. "Easier for me, or easier for you?"

"Both, maybe," I say. "The Marines took a scared kid from an abusive home and gave him an AK 47 and a license to kill. I had some shit to work out and I didn't want to taint you with that darkness."

"You should have let me decide that for myself."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, squeezing her hand. "I thought I was protecting you."

"I get it now. But next time, give a sista a warning."

We chuckle, needing to lighten the weight of regret in the room.

All this time, all these years... we've both been holding onto something we thought was lost.

I lean into her touch, overwhelmed by the forgiveness, the understanding in her eyes. "I don't deserve you."

"That's not for you to decide."

I nod. "Now, tell me about the date I saw you on."

The jealousy, the hurt, the resignation reconvenes beneath the surface.

"You looked happy ," I say, trying to keep my voice neutral. "Who was he?"

Mel sighs. "The ice king returns."

"No. Your man returns."

"Axton—" Her beautiful eyes round and her mouth falls open.

"You're mine, Mel."

"Should we revise your name to cave man?"

"Call me whatever you want as long as you know I'm your man."

Fire blazes in her eyes. "Is that a request?"

I shrug letting it be what it is.

"What you saw was my attempt at moving on. To find what I thought I couldn't have with you." She pauses, her gaze distant. "Did you know Zach and I we were engaged once?"

The revelation hits me like a punch to the gut.

"No," I manage. "I didn't know that."

Mel nods, her expression thoughtful. "It was a few years ago. He proposed, and I... I eventually called it off because he wasn't you."

I stare at her, stunned. She's been holding onto us just as tightly as I have all this time.

"This time," she continues, "I decided I wouldn't move on until I was sure this door was closed. Until I knew for certain, there was no chance for us."

Her voice's vulnerability and the raw honesty of her words break something open inside me. I pull her close, kissing her lips fiercely.

She returns it with equal vigor, winding her arms around my neck as she presses herself against me. When we finally break apart, we're both breathing heavily.

I rest my forehead against hers, my hands cupping her face.

"You're mine," I growl, possessiveness surging through me. "No more Zach, no more trying to move on. You're mine, Mel, and I'm yours. For as long as you'll have me."

She laughs a breathless, joyous sound, and happiness dances in her beautiful eyes.

"Took you long enough to figure that out."

"Better late than never, right?"