Naughty Elf: Alfie (Santa’s Naughty Elf Mates)

1. Alfie

Chapter 1

Alfie

The scratch of my gold fountain pen scrapes along the glittering green paper. Only one more letter to finish, then it’ll be time to help load the sleigh. I wipe at my brow. Just a little longer and it’ll be Christmas. The best time of the year!

I’ve been better this year compared to other years. I’m determined to be the one to ride with Santa #22 this year as his sleigh helper. I’m a twenty-eight year old alpha and still haven’t had the honor. Granted, I don’t exactly make it easy.

“Alfie!” Glenda, my supervisor, yells my name. I hold back a smile before turning to face her. Her rumpled blonde hair is wrapped in a messy bun on the top of her head.

“Yes?”

“Did you do this?” She waves frantically at the refrigerator beside her. I can’t see the front, but I know exactly what she’s talking about.

“Maybe?” I bite my bottom lip and cast my eyes down. “The letters were already there. I just gave them a little help.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “We can not have monster... fudging is fun on the fridge.”

“But it is. I’m just stating facts.” At least facts according to the books I read. Having no monster fudging experience, I don’t know for sure if monster fudging is fun or not.

A few of my fellow elves snicker around me. They know the alphabet fridge magnets are my weakness. I can’t resist.

“You can’t keep doing this, Alfie. It’s inappropriate. And disrespectful of your fellow elves. Not everyone... fudges monsters.”

My face heats. Of course, I didn’t think how the words were disrespectful. I just thought they were funny.

A few elves nod around me with their heads down as they continue to work on letters. We’re in the mailroom and our only purpose is to respond to letters to Santa all year long, no matter the day. Most in this room are wholesome “good” elves. Not trouble makers like me.

“I’ll behave.” At least as long as I remember. “Please don’t write me up again,” I whisper.

“I’m sorry Alfie, you still haven’t learned.” Glenda walks over to me with an orange slip of paper stating my offense. There goes my chance of riding with Santa yet again. I nod and stuff the paper in my pocket. I only have myself to blame for the reprimand.

I just want people to like me, and usually that means making them laugh. But apparently my version of funny doesn’t mesh with others around me.

Christmas music sounds out. It’s time to load the sleigh!

Loading the sleigh is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. There’s not much room for error and it’s the one time I’m laser focused.

It’s a mass migration of elves as we make our way to the loading bays. In the sea of heads, I can’t find any of my friends from the other sections of Santa #22’s workshop. I always get anxious in the crowd and my heart pounds. Sweat beads at my temple until we make it to the loading bays.

I always work with the gifts for the Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky tri-state area in the US. Our bay is highlighted in bright yellow. The cheery color always warms my heart and lifts whatever dreary mood I might be in. I grab a safety vest and shrug it on.

There’s someone in Southern Indiana that always gets crystals. I don’t know who they are. I know exactly which bag contains the crystal and luckily it’s front and center of our pile of gifts to load into the sleigh. There’s something about the person I’m drawn to every year and I can’t ever resist looking.

I grab the hot pink velvet bag. Before peeking inside, I make sure I don’t have an audience. No one is watching me, so I untie the drawstrings and look inside. I suck in a breath. This year’s gift is an aura quartz heart the size of my palm. No doubt they’ll love the beautiful piece. I pull the drawstrings closed again and softly place the bag back in the pile labeled S. IN before turning to the conveyer belt for the final inspection.

Each gift comes out perfectly, as far as I can tell. With my attention to details in my calligraphy, I’m always a good bet for final inspections.

It takes us hours before all the sacks are filled, then shrunk to the size of a fist. Once they’re all tiny, we pack the sleigh itself, making sure the backseat is organized by Santa #22’s flight plan.

Jingle bells ring out and we all clap. Another year to celebrate.

Confetti rains from the ceiling and I throw my arms out to spin in the glitter.

Maybe I got an orange write up, but it’s fine. I always have next year to earn my spot beside Santa.

Speaking of Santa. #22 walks through the door, all smiles. His thumbs loop around his bright yellow suspenders, keeping his red pants up. He’s one of the younger Santas, probably in his mid to late forties. I forget. But I like him. I’ve worked in a few of the other workshops, and they’re fine, but #22 is where I’m meant to be.

#22 laughs at a joke someone shares with him. He looks around the room until his eyes land on me, and he winks.

Why the heck did Santa wink at me?

He claps and everyone settles down. “I want to thank each and every one of you for your stellar service once again. We’ve had an excellent year.”

We all whoop and holler our agreement.

“And I’m sure you’re eager for me to announce my sleigh helper this year.”

My shoulders drop and I scuff the floor of the loading dock with my toe.

“As you may know we’ve been changing traditions around here in #22. Everyone will get a chance to ride with me. But some need me more than others. It’s our time to get to know each other and chat while doing a good job with our deliveries. This year’s helper is Alfie.”

My head shoots up. “Me?!” I point to myself. This can’t be happening. I’ve been bad.

“Yes, you, silly.” Santa grins. “Enjoy the celebration and meet me back here in two hours.”

“Yes, sir!”

A few people grumble around me, and I brush them off. Santa has a plan and if that plan means I get to ride with him this year, then I’m happy. As I make my way to the party hall, a few elves pat me on the back and wish me good luck.

I’m almost too excited to party. There’s all my favorite party snacks, and you know the whole RIDING WITH SANTA!!

I scream internally and bounce around to the beat of the DJ. Two hours come and go in a flash and before I know it, I’m back at the loading bay. The reindeer are already harnessed to the sleigh. They stamp their hooves, no doubt ready to go.

“Alfie.” Santa gives me a warm smile as he enters the bay.

“Santa, are you sure you meant to pick me ?” I point to myself again.

“Absolutely.” He scrubs a hand over my head, making my already unruly curls go every which way. “We have a lot to talk about.”

I swallow and nod, not entirely sure that we do. Oh, snowflakes, what if he wants to chastise me for the entire trip? I don’t have it in me to sit through an entire night of lectures.

He must sense my discomfort. “Alfie, breathe for me.” He clamps a big hand on my shoulder.

I nod and do as he asks.

“Grab a set of winter gear. It’s not too awful cold on our route this year with the mild weather, but I don’t want you freezing if you get cold.”

I rush to my locker and grab my gear, then stuff it in a shrinking bag as I run back to Santa.

“Are you ready for the ride of your life?” Santa asks as he holds out his hand to lift me into the sleigh.

I bite off an inappropriate response as I climb in.

“Oh!” I sink into the ridiculously comfortable seat and place my bag with winter gear beside me. A yellow quilt slides up over my knees. A lap bar comes down and clicks into place.

“Don’t want you falling out.” Santa taps the side of his nose and starts calling his reindeer. He only has five, but it doesn’t slow him down. There’s a jolt, and for a few intense moments, it feels like we’re free-falling before the magic takes over and evens us out.

Santa chuckles while I white-knuckle the lap bar.

“We have precautions in place. You won’t fall to your doom.” He pats my shoulder and I just nod.

“It’s one thing knowing that and another experiencing the death defying magic.” My heart pounds so hard I feel the beat in my head.

Another chuckle and Santa shakes a red Thermos at me. “I have hot apple cider and hot chocolate, if you’re interested.”

“No cider for me.” I shake my head. “Gives me the runs.”

Santa snorts. “More for me.” Then hands me a blue Thermos. “It’s mint hot chocolate, if that’s okay.”

I unscrew the lid and suck down a few mouthfuls of perfect drinking temperature mint hot chocolate. “It’s may favorite, then caramel hot chocolate.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and give him a grin. “Thank you.”

“Glad my intel was right.” He unscrews his Thermos and takes a few swallows himself.

Faint music plays and I’m surprised it’s human hair metal. Santa gives me a smirk when he sees me eyeing him.

“We all have some secrets. One of mine is…” He waves at the radio controllers. “I hate Christmas music.” He shivers and I can’t help the giggle.

“I noticed sometimes you wear band shirts, but I can’t ever make out the names.”

He taps the side of this nose, then pats my head. “Alfie.”

The tone is soft, but I just know something’s coming. “Yeah?” I whisper.

“Glenda has asked me to remove you from service. And I’m inclined to agree with her.”

“I knew this was too good to be true.” I slump into the seat, but the lap bar keeps me from going too far.

“Look at me, Alfie.”

Slowly, I do as he asks. Tears well in my eyes, but I push them away. No one has liked me from the beginning. But Santa #22 has always been kind to me.

“I’m proud to call you one of my elves.”

My brow scrunches, and he holds up a hand before I can protest, since he wants to get rid of me.

“Let me finish. You’re always cheerful, with a smile on your face damn near all the time. But you’re not as happy as you let on to being.”

“I am happy,” I protest. “More than happy. I’m?—”

“Lonely.” He gives me a sympathetic look. “You act out because you want friends, but the more you try, the less you have. Alfie, you just need to be yourself. Stop… trying.”

“I am myself.” I huff and cross my arms.

“Tonight is your last night in service to the Santas.”

“Please, let me stay. I’ll do better. This is all I know.”

“I’m giving you a bigger and better opportunity. I’m sending you to your fated mate.”

My face heats. How does Santa know I’ve wanted to find my fated mate since I was a boy? Since I discovered nothing I did ever helped me make friends. Not being good, not being happy, not being playful. I’ve always been an outcast.

“You’ll have one year to court your fated mate. If you both haven’t fallen in love by then, well, you won’t care because you’ll be a figurine forever.”

I suck in a breath. I’ve heard the rumor this year. Naughty elves being shipped off to their fated mates, but I hadn’t thought I’d been bad enough to be noticed.

“This isn’t really a punishment, is it?” I ask.

Santa laughs his jolly laugh. “You’re catching on.” There’s a twinkle in his gray eyes. “Don’t worry, you’ll still be helping me. But I’ll be relieving you of your duties once we make it to where I need to drop you off. We have hours before then. So let’s make the most of them.”

Santa turns up the music and gulps down more hot apple cider. The air is mild instead of bone-chilling cold. I wonder if I’ll get used to having seasons. We’re at the first house before I know it. The sleigh settles on a roof of a mobile home in a trailer park and I grin at all the happy decorations in different yards. This house has glittering multi-colored lights hanging from the gutters. There’s no chimney, but that doesn’t stop Santa. He walks towards the front of the house, approximately where the kitchen, or maybe the living room, should be. He presses his hands together and claps, forming a shimmery cloud around himself. This cloud moves through the layers of the roof until he’s in the living room of the house. I peek over the edge into the festively decorated room with a huge tree and presents all around.

“Alfie,” Santa whispers my name.

Oh! I scramble back to the sleigh and grab the small blue velvet bag labeled ONE. I rush back to the open portal and drop it into Santa’s waiting hands. I gasp when he pulls out two bikes and a dollhouse. I knew the bags held a lot, but it’s always mesmerizing to see them in action.

Santa downs a bit of the milk offered on a small tray on the floor. Then grabs all of the cookies before ascending back to me.

“And that’s how it’s done.” He passes me half the cookies and I stare back at him. He grins as he shovels a powdery cookie into his mouth. I follow suit as we walk back to the sleigh. “We have quite a few houses to hit here. We’ll leave the sleigh and hop between houses.”

I nod and grab the bag labeled for the trailer park. We hop from house to house, Santa descending into each house and bringing up cookies once we’ve delivered the presents. It takes hours, but I know time stands still for us. We finish Illinois before moving to Indiana.

My heart pounds the closer we get to the pink velvet bag. In my heart, I know where he’s sending me. Who he’s sending me to. The person that always gets crystals. But they should be an adult, why do they still get gifts from Santa?

At the latest house I pass Santa a green bag and the next I know takes me to my destiny.

Santa doesn’t say anything on our ride over to a warehouse. He lands the sleigh and turns to me.

“Breathe, Alfie.”

I follow his directions and give him a grin. Tears well in my eyes, this time happy ones. “Thank you for picking me.”

“It’s been my pleasure working with you, Alfie.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Be yourself.” Santa hands me a wad of green bills wrapped together with a rubber band. “I’m not supposed to do this. But… that’s five thousand dollars. Should give you enough to get you on your feet before you find a job or housing. Use it wisely.”

I hold it to my chest and nod before stuffing it in my pocket. “Thank you.”

The world around me shrinks. I can’t move, but I’m not afraid. Santa’s sending me to my fated mate.