Naughty Elf: Humbug (Santa’s Naughty Elf Mates)

Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

“ B ax? Is that you. Can you help me pull the turkey out of the oven so I can put the dressing in?” Gavin called as Bax walked in from the shop. He wasn’t in the kitchen, so he was probably in the bathroom again.

He was peeing a lot these days.

“Give me two shakes to clean up, love!” he yelled back.

Guffy set up a howl, and he groaned, wondering what that meant. The crunch of gravel on the drive out front made him blink. They didn’t have anyone coming for Thanksgiving dinner. They saw very few people together since Gavin had gotten so big.

The baby was late, in fact, if their Valentine’s Day conception estimate was right, but Doc had stopped by just a few days ago and said all was well. Sometimes elf babies just dug in and got stubborn.

The dads had backed that up, saying that Gavin had been almost a month overdue.

He washed up, scrubbing to his elbows, then pulled out the turkey. Whoever was at the front would probably realize they’d pulled up to the wrong house and go.

He heard footsteps coming into the kitchen, and he smiled, still setting down the turkey. “Where’s the dressing, love? I’ll put it in.”

“I’m afraid I’m not Gavin, honey.”

He whirled around, clutching his hot pads to his chest. “Mom?”

“Hi,” she said brightly, holding out a box. “I brought pecan pie.”

“Mom. What are you doing here?” Sparkle. He was trying to adopt Gavin’s curses so he didn’t say things like fuck in front of the baby.

Right now, it was hard.

Her smile slipped a bit. “I didn’t manage to get back by after the Fourth, so I thought I’d come for Thanksgiving. I can, can’t I?”

“Well, I mean?—”

“Babe, did you get the… Oh, wow. Hi, Mama Killian.”

Mom’s smile went megawatt again as she turned to greet Gavin. They’d talked on the phone a lot while he was at work, striking up an oddly endearing friendship.

“Gavin! I—oh. Oh, my goodness, do you have a tumor? Baxter, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s not a tumor, Mom,” Bax said, fighting the laughter that tried to break out.

“I’m pregnant.” Gavin dropped it like a hot rock, then put the dressing in the oven.

Mom blinked about a dozen times. “So, you’re a transman?”

Shit. He didn’t know his mom even knew that word.

“No, Mama. I’m an omega elf.” Gavin grinned. “I won’t show you my parts, but you can see my belly.” Gavin whipped off his shirt.

“Gavin!” But Mom looked, didn’t she?

“Here, feel.” Gavin took her hand and then put it on his belly.

He could literally see the baby kick. He’d felt it more than once in just the last day.

“Baxter! He’s pregnant.”

“And trust me, he’s a male omega elf. I have seen things, Mom.”

“Want some coffee or a glass of tea?” Gavin asked.

“A glass of tea would be lovely.” Mom staggered to a chair and plopped down. “I’m going to be a grandma.”

“Yes. But you have to tell people we adopted. Once he has the baby.” Bax got the tea while Guffy licked Mom’s hand.

“Oh. I can see why.” Mom watched, wide-eyed, as Gavin pulled his sweater back on.

“You can, right?” Gavin asked. “No one down here knows Santa and his elves are real.”

“Naturally.”

Mom looked more than a little pale. Bax totally didn’t blame her. He might talk to Gavin when they went to bed to see if Santa did debriefings on humans who were unsuited to keep this secret.

Or like, a flashy light like there was in the silly aliens movie from the ’90s.

“I won’t tell,” Mom said as if she’d read his mind. “How amazing.”

Gavin beamed. “Would you like to help me with dinner, Mama?”

“Of course, sweetie. Baxter, will you go get my bag? I’d like to change into my slippers.”

“Sure.” He headed out almost at a run. This was the weirdest day in an admittedly bizarre year. His mother had just discovered that his omega Christmas elf mate was pregnant.

He glanced at Guffy, who had come out with him. “So nuts, buddy.”

Guffy huffed as if agreeing.

“You’re my best friend, Guff. Thanks for having my back.”

Guffy licked his hand.

He grabbed his mom’s bag and headed back inside, and Gavin had made magic already. Mom was making a relish plate, slicing delicate little pieces of celery to fill with cheese.

He glanced at Gavin, who winked at him, and he chuckled under his breath.

Then Gavin winced, and he moved to his mate’s side. “You okay?” he asked, his voice hushed.

“Just my back aching.” Gavin stretched. “Okay. Next? Sweet potato casserole.”

“Got it.” He could mash the already-cooked sweet potatoes like a boss.

All he had to do was make it through until Mom went to bed. Then he could talk to Gavin. He rubbed his mate’s back a moment, then moved to whip up potatoes, pecans, and maple syrup.

He did love him some Thanksgiving dinner.

The remains of the pies sat on the dining room table, a tub of Cool Whip scraped clean right there beside them.

Bax…liked his pie. Pumpkin and pecan. And Cool Whip. He loved his Cool Whip.

Gavin stifled a grunt when his back spasmed. It had been hurting him all day, but with Thanksgiving dinner and Bax’s mom showing up, he hadn’t had time to worry about it. Maybe he should clean up and head for bed.

He stood up, and a hard rush of liquid burst out of him, making him yelp.

“Love? Are you okay?” Bax jumped to his feet.

“My water just broke.”

“Oh, my God. Oh shit. What do I do?”

He grinned. “We talked about this with Doc. It’s okay.”

“I’m calling Doc.” Bax grabbed his phone.

“Let me clean that up. Bax, get Guffy out of here,” Mama Killian said.

“Right. Come on, Guffy.” Bax led the big dog out of the room, and they could hear him. “Doc? Yeah, it’s time. Can you come?”

“Let me just clean this up, Gavin.” Mama guided him to lean against the counter while she mopped up. Then she smiled and held out an arm. “Okay, now you. I’ll trade with Bax, and he can take you for a quick wash. Is Doc coming, do you think?”

“Once it’s dark.” It was only about five thirty. Doc would have to wait for darkness to fall. “Thanks for the help.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m so glad you came.”

She sniffed, her eyes glinting with tears. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you but?—”

“Oh, please. As if I would have believed you before today.” She chuckled. “So…is Bax really a changeling?”

“He is. But what you have to know is he’s yours.” He put his hand on her waist so he could lean a little. “You’re his mom.”

“I know. But—after he recovered from his baby illness, he didn’t smell the same. I always knew something had happened.”

“But you love him so much. I can tell.”

“I do. I’m just not very good at being around all the time.” She sniffled. “Just ask his dad.”

“Today you just happen to be here when it’s really important.” They walked slowly into the bedroom, where he smiled. “I can take it from here.”

“I’ll send Bax in. You wait for him,” she admonished.

“I will. I promise.” He would, too. He grabbed his phone while he waited and texted Stardust, who the dads had tracked down for him.

Water broke

He got a reply immediately. Well, at least you got sent to the right place

Gavin snapped a selfie of him making a face, eyes crossed, and sent that. Poor Stardust. He was not having any luck.

Srry

Eh. Happy giving birth! And Happy Thanksgiving

It was Stardust’s first American Thanksgiving, just like it was his.

Much love

You too

“I called Doc,” Bax said, rushing into the room. “He says he’ll be down once it’s dark enough. What can I do?” His lover was pale and a little pinched, his gaze worried.

“Take a shower with me?” he asked. “I need to clean up, but I don’t want to slip. And you always get the water just right.”

Bax’s wry smile made him chuckle. “Flattery will get you anything, including me calming down. Keeping me busy, huh? Come on, love.”

“Thank you. I am totally messy.” He took Bax’s outstretched hand. “And thank you for believing in me, Baxter. No one but my dads ever have.”

Bax’s gray gaze sharpened. “That sucks. You’re amazing. You bake such yummy cookies, you’ve totally revamped my business, and you love me and Guff with your whole self. How are you not the coolest weirdo ever?”

That made him laugh out loud, which made a little cramp hit his belly. “Oh. Whoo. Don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry.” Bax sat him on the toilet while he got the water going and adjusted the temperature.

“Are you hurting?”

“It’s not too bad yet. My back was bothering me, but I was so caught up in Thanksgiving… And you do like your pie. You should have told me! I would make you pie every week.”

“Oh, baby.” Bax helped him rise, then stripped off the rest of his clothes. “Come on, and take a shower, and then you can rest.”

“Okay, but I want to go sit in the living room and watch Christmas movies while we wait for Doc. I don’t want to be locked away in the bedroom with nothing else to think about.”

Pop had told him that distraction was key. That he should hold off on going to bed as long as he could.

“Okay, love. Anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Well,” Bax helped him into the walk-in shower. “I would rather you didn’t jump on the Hopper express with Doc and go to the village.”

Humbug wrinkled his nose. “No way. I want to be here, in our home.”

“I want that too.”

Guffy woofed outside the closed door, and they both chuckled. “He’s checking on you,” Bax said.

“Is your mom okay?” The warm water felt so good. Maybe later he would fill the tub and float.

“I don’t know. I hope so?”

“She asked me about you being a changeling.”

Bax sighed. “I worried about that. I mean, I want to be the best son I can be to her. Sometimes we just don’t know how to meet each other halfway.”

“Well, sure. All parents are that way. And sparkle, I have a Santa. Talk about like, the worst old uncle syndrome ever.”

Bax laughed, grabbing the baby shampoo, which was what they’d been using for bodywash since he’d known he was preggers. “Okay, you win. She’s just going to be so excited to have a grandkid. Heck, she had a cow when I got Guffy. Came and stayed for a week.”

“I hope she does that this time. I still have at least a dozen cookie orders to mail out.”

“We’ll make an assembly line.”

“You’re the best,” Humbug told his mate.

Bax grinned hugely, washing him with the gentlest hands. “I know.”