Naughty Elf: Mistletoe (Santa’s Naughty Elf Mates)

Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

RYAN

The contract negotiations went better than I expected. If Miz didn't think we needed additional clauses about every little behavioral tick, I didn't, either. The mutual consent clause could apply to anything from Miz moving out of my house to meal planning. I didn't mind it. I wanted him to feel comfortable coming to me with anything job related.

More and more, I was looking forward to discussing non-work topics, too. I had a list of questions I wanted to ask him over dinner and dessert. A few were about the North Pole, if he wanted to talk about it, but the rest were about his childhood, his friendships, and his life before Santa dropped him on my head.

Friday's tasks took far longer than I expected. It was already late afternoon before I had a break between meetings. I used my fifteen minutes to finish a report on a completed software patch. So far, it looked like the patch fixed the most nagging timeout issues. We could move forward with the rescheduled launch next week without the threat of layoffs looming over our heads.

I sent my report off to my boss with a minute to spare before our combined project manager and scrum leader meeting. If I didn't have any takeaways from the meeting, I could log off for the day right after.

No such luck. They gave me two new tasks, one of which I needed to complete before I left for the day. The other, I pushed to next week.

My immediate task was mindless enough but needed attention to detail. I had to set up a meeting with all developers and scrum leaders to brainstorm ways to cut costs for the quarter. We all knew the answer: work faster. The scrum leaders hoped the meeting would drill the message home. We could all be out of jobs if we didn't turn it around by the end of the fiscal year on June 30.

I scheduled the meeting and added a list of talking points to the invite. Satisfied everything else could wait until next week, I shut down my computer. It was past time for me to get ready for our date.

Miz was still downstairs with Ellie, their toy cars leaving tire tracks on the carpet. I glanced at the entertainment center, wondering if Ellie had told Miz about the video game consoles hidden inside. We had all three major brands. John had been the gamer in the family, and he'd always rushed out to buy the newest systems. He'd once stood in line for hours waiting for a truck to arrive at the electronics store.

"Do you play video games?" My voice seemed overloud, drowning out Ellie's buzzing noises.

"Me?" Miz gazed up at me. "I used to play the ones to pass time on my phone, but I haven't downloaded them."

"No console games?" I asked.

"Never had a console." He shrugged. "Are they fun?"

"No." The venom in Ellie's voice drew my attention to her. "Video games are bad. They rot your brain. Papa said so." Her nose twitched. "He should know," she added under her breath.

"Your dad didn't have brain cancer." Regret pooled in my gut like ice water. I should have told her sooner, but she'd been so young, too young to understand. "He had leukemia."

"I still don't know what that means!" I knew I'd hit a nerve when her face scrunched up. She looked just like John when she was angry. "You wouldn't tell me!"

"My room," I said, keeping my voice low and firm. "Now."

Her eyes rounded to disks for a moment, but she did as I asked, stomping her way to the hallway.

"We can box them up this weekend," I said to give Miz some closure. I wasn't sure why I'd asked him about video games in the first place. Now that I knew how Ellie felt about them, I didn't want them in the house.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Miz asked.

"No. This conversation is well overdue." I sighed. I'd avoided it because it would make both of us cry. Two years ago, even a year ago, we weren't ready. Now, I hoped we were.

I found Ellie in the rocking chair we had moved from her room when we got her a bigger dresser and toy bin. She held her stuffed rabbit in her arms. The rabbit had moved with the chair, since it was the only toy she wanted when she rocked in the chair.

"I'm sorry," I started. I didn't even know where to begin. I was sorry John died, sorry she was stuck with me, sorry I worked long hours some evenings and left her to her own devices. "I should have told you about leukemia. It's a blood disease. Your papa's white blood cells developed into cancer cells instead of the ones that fight germs."

We'd read a book about the human body together, including all the parts of the circulatory system. She nodded like she remembered, but her next question broke my heart.

"Will I get it?"

"I hope not." I picked her up, still holding the rabbit, and eased down into the chair with her in my lap. She dropped the toy and wrapped her arms around my neck the way she used to after a nightmare. This was the nightmare we shared, from which we would never wake. "You're my daughter, too, and shifters don't get leukemia."

"I'm not a shifter." She sniffled as the first tears slid down her cheeks.

"You're perfect, and I wouldn't have it any other way." I tickled her sides, and she giggle-sobbed into my neck. "Miz isn't a shifter, either."

"No, but he's an elf." The awe in her voice made me smile despite the tears still streaking her face.

"He is. Do you like that about him?"

"He knows Santa, and Santa's real."

Oh no. We were in dangerous territory again when she started talking about Santa. John had been in the hospital the Christmas she was five, tired and cranky after chemo. She'd asked him if Santa would find us in the hospital on Christmas Eve, and he'd snapped and told her Santa wasn't real.

"Papa told you what he thought was the truth," I said. "He didn't know about the multiple Santas and the teams of flying reindeer. It sounds impossible for one person to give presents to everyone around the world in one night, doesn't it?"

She nodded. "But it's magic."

"It is, but it's more than that. It's shifters and elves working together."

Miz's heart hadn't been in it. He'd done his best, but it hadn't come naturally. Seeing him with Ellie … he belonged here. Maybe not forever, but at least until she was old enough to walk home by herself and do her homework quietly while I worked.

A knot tightened in my chest every time I thought about Miz finding another job, moving out, and moving on. I needed this date to go well. I yearned for something I couldn't define.

I wiped Ellie's tears from her cheeks with her bunny's soft ear. "Will you help me pick out a jacket and tie for tonight?"

She nodded. I shifted her to my hip as I stood, and together we walked to my closet.

"That one." She pointed to the blue suit I'd worn to her naming ceremony on her fifth birthday. It was the last time we'd traveled together as a family. My herd gave Ellie her moose name, Maple, and accepted her as one of their own. It had been a good week in the middle of a string of bad ones.

"I like the yellow tie." She pointed to the one hanging behind the others because I hadn't worn it in over two years. It matched the yellow shirt John had worn under his jacket.

I set her down so I could grab them by the hangers and lay them out on the bed.

"You had fun on my name day, right Daddy?" Her small voice echoed off the bare walls. I'd taken down all the pictures and art when John died because I couldn't bear to look at it.

"Yes. And you looked so adorable in your purple princess dress."

She pursed her lips so tight her chin dimpled. "I miss him," she whispered.

"I do, too."

She nodded, and another tear slipped down her cheek. "Christmas didn't hurt as much, with Miz here."

"Time heals even the worst wounds," I said, repeating our herd's mantra.

"No, Miz does." She wiped at her cheek and grinned up at me. "Have fun tonight, Daddy!"

She skipped out of the room singing a tune under her breath, her sorrow already forgotten. I wished I could switch emotions on a whim.

Instead, I stumbled to the bathroom for a quick shower, my mind still lost in the memory. John had slept on the car ride there. Ellie sang to herself in the back seat. My mom had been so happy to see us. She and Ellie baked cookies while my dad and I took John to the herd's hot springs and sauna. The steam wore him out, but he was well rested for Ellie's naming ceremony. Those pictures still hung on my office wall.

I dressed quickly, trying not to look too hard at my reflection in the mirror. I'd gotten laugh lines around my eyes early, but now I had pinched wrinkles around my mouth and deep creases in my forehead from long hours of worrying.

When I dared a glance after smoothing some gel into my hair to keep it out of my face, my reflection surprised me. I thought of Miz waiting for me and grinned. That guy in the mirror didn't look half bad. I still had some laugh lines, sure, but the signs of worry weren't as harsh as they had been a month ago.

Miz worried enough for both of us. His phone started blaring when I walked into the room, and he hastily shut it off.

"Sorry. I set an alarm for six thirty so I wouldn't be late."

"I'd come find you if you weren't downstairs."

His shoulders dropped a couple of inches, and he sighed with relief.

"It's one of the perks of living in the same house."

"I know," he said, "but I want to make a good impression."

He'd already more than made up for the slight concussion Santa gave me when he hit me in the head with an elf figurine. Telling him wouldn't be enough. Tonight, I had to prove it.

He wore John's shirt, the one that matched the yellow tie Ellie had picked out for me. I wanted to peel the shirt off him and lick him all over. Instead of fighting my attraction the way I had been since the beginning, I leaned in, inhaling his sugar cookie scent and offering my elbow to escort him to the hallway closet.

"Do you mind if I touch you?" I asked, taking advantage of the new clause in our contract.

"I like it when you touch me," he whispered. The top of his head came up to my chin, perfect for cuddles.

Maybe later. For now, I was content to help him with his coat. He pulled a new red stocking cap over his ears, wrapped his red scarf around his neck, and tucked his hands into the shiny red snowmobile mittens I'd grabbed him from the sporting goods store at the mall. They matched my black ones and had built-in rechargeable warming sticks for the frigid temperatures.

We talked about the weather on the way to the restaurant. It was warm for mid-January, but the weather forecasters predicted a cold snap so severe, Ellie would be out of school for most of the next week.

"I found some fun learning activities Ellie and I can do together," Miz said.

He shared them with me while we waited for our meals, and I was overcome with gratitude. This total stranger had fallen into our lives and immediately took a nurturing, caring interest in my daughter. I couldn't even take credit for hiring him. He'd won me over by winning her over.

"Thank you for taking such great care of Ellie," I said after the server had brought our meals and then vanished into the shadows.

"You're welcome." Miz was gorgeous when he blushed. "How did your conversation go?"

"This afternoon?" I sighed. "She's more resilient than I think."

"She's a smart child." Miz grinned and reached across the table to pat my hand where it rested beside my plate. "I was surprised when you told her to go to your room. You don't talk to her much."

I blinked, trying to make the words make sense. I talked to my daughter all the time.

"Discipline-wise," he added.

"She's angry sometimes," I said. "We both are. It's a stage of grief. When it comes out, we talk about it."

"I didn't see any therapy sessions on your calendar." Miz withdrew his hand to pick up the fork long forgotten at the side of his plate.

"We're between therapists." Had been for over a year. I didn't have the time to vet a new one, and the old one had spouted some religious nonsense about "divine will" taking John from us too soon, and that had been the last straw.

"Dru might know someone who can help." Miz met my gaze for a moment and then looked back at his plate. "I don't mean to meddle, but?—"

"No, you're right." Before I started dating again, I needed to work on myself, too. Taking my moose form allowed me to let off some steam, but that couldn't be the only way I dealt with the rage and frustration I still felt at not being able to save John.

"I didn't mean to pry," Miz said again while we were waiting for the check.

"I have a lot of work to do before I'm ready to date again," I admitted. "I like spending time with you, but maybe we should wait a month and see how it goes."

Miz tried to cover his disappointment with a smile, but his sad eyes gave him away. "Take all the time you need. I'll still be here."

He said all the right words, but I worried he would disappear the moment he found his fated mate.