Naughty November

Chapter 3

THREE

DEVIN

After dinner, we sit knee to knee on the sofa. Jools removes his red jumper, revealing a tight-fitting black T-shirt. His eyes appear lighter and brighter beside the dark fabric. I can’t stop staring at his eyes or his lips as he talks. He’s animated and bubbly, exactly as I remember. His cheeks flush red whenever he thinks he’s talking too much. He always was the chatty one. It was one of the things that drew me to him when we walked to school together as kids.

“I still don’t understand how you learnt two languages so quickly,” I say.

We’ve circled back around to talking about work.

Jools shrugs. “Define quickly.”

“You started learning Japanese at sixteen?”

“Yes.”

“And now, nine years later, you’re fluent in that and Korean?”

He laughs. “Nine years is a long time.”

I sober. “Too long.”

“Agreed. ”

“Why Korean?”

“It started as a personal challenge. I enjoyed it, so I carried on. It helped that I picked it up faster than I was expecting.”

“You’re self-taught?”

“Partially. I had to work with tutors to get beyond the basics, and I had friends at uni who were fluent in both languages. They helped me with conversation practice.”

“I’m in awe.”

He clears his throat and plucks a tall glass of coke off the coffee table. “Enough about me. I want to know how you got into kink and why you decided to become a pro-Dom. Is that what you were doing in Amsterdam? Training?”

“No. I was exploring kink equipment for personal use. This is my first job as a pro-Dom.”

“What did you do before that?”

“Aside from living with my parents into my twenties?”

Jools laughs. “Hey, there’s no shame in that. Getting your own place is expensive.”

I whistle. “Tell me about it. It would have been cheaper if I’d stayed up north, but The Library is a great club. I couldn’t pass up the chance to work there. I left school at eighteen and got a job in a bar. After that, I stacked shelves in a supermarket and then did factory work. I even did deliveries by bike for a bit. Eventually, I got an office job for a removal firm.”

“That’s quite the variety.”

“According to Mum, I was finding myself.”

“Did it work?”

I purse my lips. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do.”

“Until you found kink?”

“Yes.”

“So—how did you get into it?”

“Via a past boyfriend.” I fidget. Does he want to hear about my love life while we’ve been apart?

He waves his hand. “No need to look so uncomfortable. It’s been nine years, Devin. We’re allowed to have had lives in between. We paused, remember? Go on. ”

“Graham was into breathplay. He enjoyed having his breath cut off during sex. He said the rush of air into his lungs gave him a stronger orgasm.”

Jools frowns. “That sounds dangerous.”

“It is if you don’t know what you’re doing. Even when you do, there are still risks.”

“Please tell me you learnt how to do it safely before—what? Strangling him during sex.”

“Yes, of course. It was my gateway into the kink world. I learnt how to do that one thing. It made me feel—alive. Powerful. In command. I enjoyed it and got a kick out of it. After Graham and I broke up, I kept delving deeper so I could understand my own likes and limits.”

“And decided you wanted to be kinky for a living?”

I smile. “Yes. I want to use kink to empower submissives and help them feel good about themselves.”

Jools puts his glass on the coffee table and hugs his knees to his chest like he did that day on his garage roof. His expression is thoughtful and a little distant.

I lean forward and brush my fingertips over his forearm. “Are you okay?”

He half-smiles. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Jools.”

He shivers. “You’ve practised that commanding tone, haven’t you?”

“Sorry.” I shouldn’t have used it on him.

His lashes shutter his eyes as he lowers his gaze. “Don’t apologise, it was sexy. I was just thinking that people must really trust you.” He looks up, piercing me with his stare. “I always trusted you.”

The air whooshes out of my lungs. Did he fall into bed with me so easily three years ago because of the trust I’d earned when we were teens?

He looks towards the far corner of the room. “You must be able to do a lot of kinky things. ”

“Yes. When I decided I wanted to be a pro-Dom, I found a couple to train me in pretty much everything. I want to be able to offer my clients as much variety as I can. There are things I don’t enjoy. Things I won’t do. Things that don’t fall under my—brand. Subs will choose me if they want to be praised and uplifted. They won’t come to me if they want to be humiliated and degraded. There are other Doms at The Library who can give them that.” Like Stefan. “What are you into?”

“Gentle stuff. Playing with feathers and things. A bit of role-play. Messing about with toys. That’s all. I’ve only explored it with one boyfriend, and we weren’t together for long.”

He rubs his arm with the heel of his hand. He used to do it as a kid when something was bothering him or he felt unsure. Red marks appear on his skin. My thoughts drift back to the kink list Stefan gave me last night, but I shove the thought away. Something is bothering Jools. I shouldn’t be thinking about the things I’d like to do with him if he wanted me to.

I put my hand over his to stop him from further agitating his skin. “What’s wrong?”

He makes his smile more solid and brighter. “I suppose I feel inadequate beside you.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Inadequate? Why?”

“Because you have so much experience, and I have practically none.”

“Being inexperienced doesn’t make you inadequate.”

“I guess not. When do you have to go to work?”

I frown and check my watch. “I’ve got a little while yet. Do you feel uncomfortable talking about this stuff? Because I’ll happily change the subject to something you’ll enjoy.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then—what?”

“Meeting you again. This discussion. It’s a lot , Devin. I came here looking for a flat and found you. And this conversation—it’s not uncomfortable, but it is heavy. Does that make sense? I keep looking at you, remembering who you were, and realising you’re a different person now. You’re older?— ”

I brush my knuckle over his cheek. “We both are.”

He wrinkles his nose.

“Sorry. I interrupted. Go on.”

“You’ve got so much experience and I—I feel like, while you’ve been figuring out who you are, I’ve been treading water for the last nine years.”

“Says the guy who learnt two languages, and spent six months living in Japan. How is that treading water?”

Jools’s eyes become liquid, and his lip wobbles. “I feel like you’ve outgrown me.” He rubs his cheeks and sucks in a breath. “Ignore me. Noisy hotel rooms aren’t conducive to good sleep. I’m overwhelmed at running into you again. That’s all. It was easier in Amsterdam.”

“You’re saying sex is easier than talking?”

“I—guess I am.” He shakes his head. “No. That’s not it. It was easier because it was only one night. We knew that. Our time together was finite, so we didn’t have time to think, only feel. But now we have time, and I wasn’t expecting it, and my thoughts and emotions are a total jumbled mess.” He presses his hands over his face. “Ignore me.”

I gently move his hands away and then cup his cheek. “For the record, I have no intention of ignoring you. I haven’t outgrown you. We explored different interests. You learned languages, I?—”

“Got kinky?”

I laugh. “Exactly. I bet it would be easier for me to expand your kink horizons than for you to teach me Japanese.”

He chuckles. “Maybe.”

“You do remember my efforts in French lessons, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I remember. I helped you with your homework. Would you?”

I knit my brows together. “Learn Japanese?”

He swats his arm over my leg. “No. Help me expand my kink horizons?”

My heart patters. “Is that what you want?”

“I—want to be around you. I looked into kink because of you. So, yes, I think so. I should probably book a session with you at the club you work at. The Library? ”

“Yes, that’s the place. But no, don’t.”

Jools frowns. “Why?”

“Because you know how the app has no fraternisation rules?”

He nods.

“So does The Library. And I’m not sure I could stop myself from kissing you.”

Jools swallows and meets my gaze. “I’m not sure I’d want you to stop yourself from kissing me.”

I gather up his hands. “Move in.”

He shakes his head.

“You’ve said you don’t want to keep living out of a hotel room and that you’re not getting enough sleep.”

“I know, but?—”

“At least think about it. I won’t let the room to anyone else for a few days.”

“Okay.”

I squeeze his hands. “Think about letting me expand your kink horizons, too. You don’t need to decide on that now, either.”

“Because you have to go to work?”

“Partly. But also because I don’t want to push or rush you.”

“Thanks.”

“Wait here.” I stand, lean down, and kiss his forehead before going to my room to grab the list Stefan gave me last night. I press it into his hands.

“What is it?”

“The Library has produced a list of kinky things to do in November. Have a look at it. Cross out anything you wouldn’t want to do, and put stars next to things you’re really interested in. We can look at it together. If you want.”

He smiles. “Thanks for not laughing at me or telling me I’m being stupid.”

“You’re not. Do you want to stay here tonight? You don’t have to go back to your hotel.”

He stands and brushes his hands over his jeans. “I need to go back, but we should trade numbers before I go. Whatever happens, let’s not lose touch this time, okay? ”

I pull him to me. He quivers in my arms, presses into my embrace, and tilts his face, making it easier for me to kiss him.

I do so, tenderly, allowing my lips to linger on his for as long as possible. “Never again,” I promise. I mean it. We’ve spent too much time apart as it is.