Naughty November

Chapter 2

TWO

ALEC

I almost melted off the chair. What did Gene mean by that? He couldn’t be talking about me, right? Not after the way things between us ended. I hated what a damn coward I was. The many months of agony I’d put myself—and now it seemed like Gene—through were because I let fear rule my heart.

I sucked in a deep breath. Right now was when I needed to man up. I’d already wasted enough time by hiding from myself. Judging from Gene’s expression, he was running out of patience, and I was terrified of losing my chance to give us another try.

“I’m sorry.” I forced myself to meet his eyes. “Leaving the way I did was wrong and very childish.”

He regarded me with zero emotion. A slight tick of his jaw, his head inclining almost imperceptibly, was the only physical clue my words might’ve had an impact.

“That was brave of you to say. I appreciate it.”

Okay. That wasn’t what I’d expected. I guess his large and in-charge demeanor was part of his persona in everyday life. And God, how was I supposed to think straight with his piercing gray eyes staring back at me? He was everything I hadn’t realized I wanted. A tower of strength, brutally honest, kind, and handsome as fuck. While I’d found men desirable over the years, I’d never acted on my attraction.

But Gene was different. His very touch had sent shivers through my body, his chiseled features and piercing, gray eyes making me want to feel his hands everywhere, his lips on mine, his hard, naked body pressed against me as he rode me to completion.

“I don’t feel very brave,” I admitted. “I’m sure you feel I led you on, but…” I still grappled with my guilt. “I promise, that’s not what I was doing. Everything I said to you I meant.”

Gene shifted on the chair, his knuckles turning white from how hard he was squeezing his hands. “I’m not sure how that’s possible. I offered you a contract, you expressed excitement then came to my home the next day with a signed copy. Then, after our magnificent first kiss—at least from my perspective—you broke away from me, shouting, “I can’t do this,” before racing out of my life.”

Sweat was building on my neck, dampening my collar. The man had a damn good memory.

“I know, I know.” I swiped the back of my hand across my upper lip. Despite the icy chill of the November air outside, the lobby was like a furnace. “I was scared. When we met, when I told you about being attracted to men but never acting on it—that was a huge bridge for me to cross. I wanted— want —everything with you, but the club, the kink…” I dragged my fingers through my hair. “I thought I was experimenting.” I bit the inside of my cheek, terrified to continue but knowing this was my last chance. “I didn’t expect to fall in love.”

Gene straightened, his eyes bugging as if he’d seen a monster. Maybe that’s what I was to him now, an ugly, evil thing that had lured him into a snare then abandoned him to whatever fate he might meet. I wouldn’t want to hear belated sentiments from me, either.

“I wish you could’ve trusted me enough to tell me what you were feeling. I wouldn’t have mocked or pushed you away even if I hadn’t felt the same.”

I opened my mouth to continue, but something about his response stopped me short. “Wait. So… you were feeling something too? ”

Yeah, I was terrified to hear his response. Hopefully, he meant what he said about not mocking me.

Gene shifted in his seat, running his long, graceful fingers over the top of his head. Tiny strands of silver were threaded through his carefully combed, pitch-black hair, making him even more attractive to me.

“Alec, I offered you a contract. I kissed you.” Gene rubbed his forehead. “Let me clarify. I never kiss a sub unless the relationship is personal.” He fixed me with his gaze. “Which means I haven’t done a lot of kissing.”

“Oh.”

A lump formed in my throat. While my intention in coming to the reception had been to maybe have a chance to speak with him, to tell him I thought I’d made a mistake when I ran away, I now wondered if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.

We remained in silence for a few moments, and a sliver of worry began to course through me. If I didn’t try to fix this in the next minute or so, Gene might tell me to have a nice life then walk away for good.

“I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

I’d never been very good at expressing myself, which wasn’t helping my case. My very Catholic grandmother had raised me after my mom had me as a teen, and I’d routinely been discouraged from speaking my mind. That’s how Nana was raised and how she raised me. The fact that her daughter had rebelled didn’t seem to have had much of an impression on her.

Gene arched his eyebrows. It wasn’t as if we hadn’t discussed this issue back then. He knew how I struggled and had always been patient and encouraging. My eyes burned. Maybe his patience had been exhausted.

“Is that why you came here tonight?” His tone had softened. “To apologize? Or is there more to it?”

“Do you want it to be more?” Directly asking for what I wanted bordered on the painful.

The hint of a smile decorated Gene’s lips. “I do.” He leaned forward, placing his folded hands on his knees. “I don’t mind confessing I’ve missed you terribly. But you know how it works, Alec. I need your permission. ”

I sucked in a sharp breath. I hadn’t expected Gene to come right out and admit to such a thing—or that it could be true.

“You have it,” I blurted.

This time, Gene’s smile widened. “Specifics, remember?” He tapped his chin before speaking again. “I assume you’ve been going to the club all this time. Have the Doms you’ve been working with been following the proper protocol? Or you’re unduly nervous right now?”

I drew my eyebrows together. “What makes you think I’ve been to the club? I haven’t set foot in Club Sensation since I left you. I figured you’d realize that when you didn’t see me there.”

Gene straightened. “Well. I guess we’ve both been making assumptions about the other. And I also need to apologize. Even though you were the one who ran, I abandoned you. As your Dom, it was my responsibility to make sure you were okay.”

My heart thudded. He hadn’t been back to the club either? So much time wasted because of our individual fears.

“Actually, when Master Zane contacted me the next day, he said you were the one who requested a wellness check. I never thought you abandoned me.” I swallowed hard. “Quite the opposite.”

Gene shook his head. “I still should’ve reached out. Even with a note, something, anything. I rationalized my lack of action as being the proper thing to do, that when you bolted, you were cutting contact, and I shouldn’t cross that line.” He reached for my hand. “But that was my own cowardice. You meant so much to me.”

My heart felt as if it was being squeezed in a vice. “Are your feelings still in the past tense? I really need to know, Sir.”

Gene’s hand tightened around mine. “Don’t… Not unless you’re ready. I despaired of ever hearing you use that title for me again.”

“If I’m still in your heart, I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything.”

“Alec, sweetheart, it never stopped being true.” He took my other hand and held them both sandwiched between his palms. “I never went back to the club, either. I couldn’t bear it—not without you by my side.”

My cheeks heated. Now I felt like the biggest asshat in the world. I’d seriously fucked up. No one had ever treated me with such care and affection—with or without the D/s aspect.

“Oh, God. I have to say it again. I’m so sorry. Not that this justifies what I did, but I was terrified of my feelings for you.”

“Can you tell me why?”

Communication. That’s what I’d been taught by not only Gene, but the Dommes before him. I had to show him how serious I was.

“Because it meant a real relationship. I know your family accepts you, but mine won’t. I really only have my nana and a couple of aunts left.” I grunted. “My mom and I haven’t had contact in years, so that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I was afraid of what coming out would mean. Even my friends.” I shrugged my shoulders, my old fears no longer holding me in the iron grip they once had. “But being without you is so much worse than not having their acceptance.”

I lifted my eyes to check his reaction and was met with his soft smile. Was there hope?

“I’m very proud of you, Alec. I’m also sorry you had to suffer through all this alone. I wish I could’ve been there to help you.”

“What did you always tell me? What’s done is done, or something along those lines?”

He chuckled. “Very good. That’s right. Time to move forward.” He squeezed my hands. “I’m curious. If you aren’t going to the club anymore, how did you know about Marc and Foster’s reception?”

Now I was going to sound like a stalker. But in for a penny…

“I called Master Zane for advice. He asked if I wanted to rejoin the club, and when I said yes, he told me I was now invited to the celebration.” My face heated again. “He suggested I speak with Marc since you guys are such good friends. He told me I might find you here, which would be better than reconnecting at the club. But he never mentioned anything about you not going to the club anymore.”

Gene smiled, the corners of his crinkling. “He wouldn’t have told you anything about me. He wanted us to find our way back to each other organically.” He chuckled again. “Well, with a little push first.”

Giddiness swept over me. This was real. Gene was interested, wanted us to give it another try. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe we could pick up where we left off, or I’d get a contract back that I’d so happily signed then abandoned. But I had an idea of how we could start.

I squirmed on the cushion. “So, I guess you don’t know about the list then? You know, since you haven’t been to the club lately.”

He furrowed his brow. “List?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “There’s this list going around on social media, like kink pages and whatnot. Master Zane brought it up when we spoke. It’s a challenge for November where you pick two kinks from the list you’ve never tried before.”

Gene’s eyebrows shot up. “Go on.”

I gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I thought it might be something we can do. A touchpoint for us to begin again.”

“Well, is there something you’ve been wanting to try? I’m only interested if it’s an activity you truly want to explore.”

I nodded. “Actually, yeah. I’ve thought about it for a long time, but it’s a trust thing with me. I considered asking one of the Dommes I really liked but couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. With you, I feel safe.”

“I see. Well, I’d love to participate if what you choose is something I can give you.”

This time, it felt as if my cheeks had caught fire. “You mentioned it once. Sounding. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

Gene licked his lips, and I could swear I saw a flush on his cheeks in the low light. “That’s a big step.”

“I trust you, Sir. I wouldn’t want to do something like that with anyone else.”

He let out a slight growl. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

“Then you’ll do it?”

“Yes, boy.” His eyes darkened as he locked gazes with me. “It happens to be one of my specialties. What would be the second thing?”

My second choice had more to do with me being a big chicken than being turned on. “Sensory deprivation was on the list, but I specifically want to be blindfolded.”

Gene’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? You never did that with any of the Dommes?”

A part of me was hurt that he didn’t remember every last detail of our initial discussion about what I had and hadn’t done before we played. However, the rational part of me knew I was being an idiot. That conversation hadn’t happened in almost a year.

“No. It’s not something I ever asked for.”

“I see. What is it about both of those activities that made you choose them out of everything on the list?”

I folded my hands, squirming on the cushion. I loved how he called me out and insisted everything be brought into the light. A couple of the Dommes I’d seen hadn’t pressed me when I avoided revealing my innermost desires, needs, or fears. They let me get away with too much.

“A demonstration at the club I went to before Sensation.” My cheeks heated. “I went out of curiosity and assumed it would be like a trainwreck. Nothing I wanted anywhere near me but wouldn’t be able to look away. I couldn’t look away, but it wasn’t from horror. I’ve never seen a man come so long and hard.” I snorted. “Didn’t know it was possible.”

Gene grinned. “That’s why I enjoy doing it so much to my subs.”

I frowned. The pictures in my head of him giving such extreme pleasure to other subs made me ragey. I had no right to feel that way, but it didn’t prevent me from being assaulted by those emotions.

Gene leaned forward, brushing the back of his hand along my jaw. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I haven’t been with another sub since you.”

That was the other thing. He saw me all the time, knew when something wasn’t right with me.

“I haven’t been with anyone at all.”

I hadn’t planned on confessing my single status, but I needed him to know. His features softened.

“The second thing?”

I blinked several times. “Oh! Right. I want to be blindfolded while you do it.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “The sounding, I mean.”

“Hmm. I see.” His brow wrinkled as he narrowed his eyes. “Is that so you can experience the sensation of the rod inside you even more intensely?”

My jaw went slack. Oops. “Uh…”

“The truth, Alec. ”

My shoulders dropped. I might’ve fucked up.

“I don’t want to watch it go inside my dick. I didn’t think about the part where everything happening to me would feel more extreme.”

Gene nodded. “Thank you for telling me that.” He rose, bringing me with him by taking both of my hands. “We should leave. I want you to go home and get some rest, and I’ll do the same. Since tomorrow is Sunday, we’ll have all day.” He tilted his head. “Or am I making an incorrect assumption?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m still curating Monday through Friday at the museum.”

Gene smiled. “Great. I’ve invested carefully, so I’ve stepped back from a lot of my duties at the agency. Now I have more time to spend with a needy boy in the dungeon.” He winked. “Advertising isn’t anywhere near as interesting an activity as that.”

I chuckled. “I should hope not.”

Gene entwined our fingers and began to lead us out of the hotel. “I also need to prepare my dungeon at home. This isn’t something I wish to do with you at the club.”

My breathing hitched. I tempered my compulsion to beg him to take me home right now. I wanted to sleep in his arms the way I had the night he offered me the contract. We’d slept in our clothes, but I’d never felt closer to anyone. That was also the only time we’d played at his home. The next day at the club was when I’d destroyed everything we’d been building toward.

But now it was time for me to be a good boy.