Naughty November

Chapter 3

THREE

ASHTON

“No, I run on cookies and caffeine. I don’t need dinner.” I might never walk into the kitchen again.

There was stuff on the table.

I’d managed to get the cookies out of the pantry before I’d seen what was on the table but then I’d seen it.

Well, them?

Yes, it was probably a them…but I wasn’t going to talk about them. I was going to eat cookies and never go into the kitchen again.

“Okay.” Micha was pretending everything was perfectly normal but he’d left them on the table. Diapers didn’t show up like magic. Even in dirty romance novels they didn’t pop up like magic. Well, unless it was actually a magic world.

No. I wasn’t going to get distracted.

I’d figure out if there were magic romance novels where diapers just appeared later.

“But…but I can share if you’re hungry too.” Yes, I was losing my mind but I was a good partner. “Let’s…let’s go sit down.”

Yes, that was a good idea .

Friday nights were for cuddling and hanging out. Just because I’d been a bit distracted over the last week didn’t mean our plans had to change.

Micha seemed firmly attached to his everything was normal routine and looked up from his phone. “Cuddle time first? I think that’s a great plan.”

Bullshit.

But he was so good at making it sound reasonable I let him lead me over to the couch and even handed over my cookies once I was on his lap. He’d lapped me. It was cheating because my brain only half worked when I was on his lap.

It was cuddle physics, so I just couldn’t help it.

Everyone who had an ounce of sub in them knew how cuddle physics worked.

“Thank you for sharing.” He was sneaky and kissed my cheek too. “You know, pizza goes with cookies, so we could order that for dinner.”

He was so sneaky.

“I’m not talking about what’s in the kitchen. There’s nothing in my contract that says I have to talk unless my health and safety are involved.” I’d read it yesterday just to be sure there weren’t more loopholes I could exploit.

Micha nodded and was still looking like I was his completely rational partner as he opened the squishy chocolate chip cookies and handed me one. “Okay. You don’t have to go into the kitchen and you don’t have to talk.”

He’d agreed to that entirely too easily.

I’d done something stupid.

What had I done?

I still hadn’t figured it out even after I’d eaten two cookies, so I glared at him as I grabbed a third.

“You can’t cheat.” Well, he probably could since he was smart and the Dom, but I had to make it hard so he couldn’t cheat too easily. “I read my contract.”

We really should’ve put more details into it but I wasn’t going to point that out. I was pretty sure that wouldn’t end up working in my favor.

“I’m glad.” He kissed my head that time and snuggled me against his chest as he bribed me with another cookie. “I like it when you read about our relationship.”

Instead of a dirty book?

No, I wasn’t going to get sidetracked on that either.

“So you can’t cheat. I just want to make sure you realize that.” Yep, that was all I was thinking about. “And it didn’t say I had to talk about stuff.”

Strategic error but that was okay.

“I’m fine with you not talking about anything you don’t want to talk about.” He was far too agreeable, so I knew I had to worry about what else my innocent-looking Dom was going to say. “As long as you don’t safeword and I stick within your limits, I don’t actually need you to talk. That is in our contract too.”

Shit.

Fine print got me every time.

“That…I…” Shoot. “But I don’t have to talk.”

It didn’t say I had to.

“That’s right.” Micha was still wearing his easygoing smile as he ran his hand over my head. “I’m going to take good care of you in our scene and we’re going to have fun, but you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

Oh dear.

“I…” I didn’t have to talk if I didn’t want to. “Um. Well, you do what you have to.”

Yep.

Micha nodded. “Because I’m your Dom and some things are up to me.”

Unfortunately.

“Some things are up to me. Like…like buying the groceries because you never come home with snacks.” He just stuck to the list and it was painful. If I wanted snacks and cookies, I had to remember to put them on the list and tattle on myself. That sucked. “You don’t think about dessert either, even when the cookies and ice cream go on sale on those buy one get one free deals. ”

Those were the best.

Technically we didn’t have to buy two, but we had to, and everybody but him knew it.

“That’s right. And you make sure we’re doing date nights because those are important.” Micha tapped my nose like I was cute or something and it made me want to squirm. “You’re very good at thinking about us.”

I hated it when he was being sweet…it made it really hard for me to be irrational.

“But some things are up to me.” Micha gave a casual what can I do shrug. “And this is one of those times.”

Shoot.

He’d remembered that part.

“But you’ve had time to think and to safeword, so I’m not worried.” No, he was very confident because he kissed my cheek again and stood up…not even caring that he’d made me hard with that one move.

He’d just picked me up without even acknowledging how sexy it was that he could move me around like that.

Nothing.

When he had my legs wrapped around his waist and an arm under my ass, he kissed my head and snuggled me close again. “I’ve got a plan and a sweet boy to play with who doesn’t have to talk at all.”

Because in the scene he had planned out, I wasn’t grown-up enough to use words.

Fine print was terrible.

Sighing was all I could do since I couldn’t talk or safeword. Well, I could safeword but he’d stop and I’d definitely have to talk at that point. He’d worry and I’d have to explain I’d panicked and then it’d get even worse because he’d make me tell him in words that I wanted to keep going.

Not that I wanted to keep going.

But it was out of my control now…there was the whole no talking thing and all.

Micha chuckled, his big chest making it a rumbly sound that always made him feel like he was some kind of vibrating teddy bear. “ It’s going to be fun and you’re going to be so cute when you laugh.”

Shoot.

Now I was blushing.

“Oh.” Micha liked it when he got that reaction, so it got me kisses and happy sounds as he patted my butt. “So cute.”

I didn’t mind being cute until I heard the sound of the package. Somehow just remembering what he’d bought made that word sound different. I was cute. I was practically a twink even though I was almost ancient at nearly thirty for my second year in a row, and I liked being cute.

Most of the time.

Now it made me want to squirm, so I hid against his neck, which made him chuckle again as he kept moving around the kitchen suspiciously. “It’s okay. I’m going to take good care of you and make you so happy.”

Ugh.

No more margaritas.

None.

No more kinky crafts.

None.

Those two things should’ve never gotten mixed up together to begin with.

The internet was evil…it gave people ideas…and confidence.

What the hell was he doing in the fridge?

Micha was completely ignoring my existential crisis and humming as he finally stopped torturing me and walked us back to the bedroom. “You’re going to be cute and you’re going to laugh and you’re going to be helpless.”

I was starting to wish we both didn’t like me being helpless so much.

Sadly, that didn’t seem to be something I could change, especially with the way he was patting my butt and reminding me that he was holding me. I was already helpless. Stuck. Held by the caveman who was going to do silly, kinky things to me.

And he was going to do it happily .

Ugh.

I couldn’t panic if he was having fun. He should’ve known that instead of trying to make me confident again. That was just cheating, and once I could talk, I was going to make sure he knew how much trouble he was in.

Being happy when I was so stressed…he had no manners at all.

“If you keep bitching me out in your head, I’m not going to tickle you enough.” His dryly delivered threat had me sucking in a breath.

Rude and psychic.

My huff had his chest jerking in silent laughter, but I kissed his cheek before I went back to hiding. Everyone cute knew cheek kisses fixed nearly everything, so I wasn’t surprised when he sighed and patted my bottom again. “Good boy.”

That was probably cheating too, but I liked it when I was his good boy. I was never really good, but he had a very liberal definition that put me in that category on a regular basis.

He was really sweet.

But he was a lot of other things too because he set me and the stuff down on the bed without giving me time to panic. That was just so rude. I needed time to get worked up instead of him just starting in on the scene.

And I couldn’t even tell him to slow down so I could be dramatic.

Ugh.

Rude.

And then my shirt came off…there was nothing I could do about it anymore.

Oh well.

Micha didn’t even look apologetic at all. “Do you know how much I love seeing you helpless? This is going to be so much fun. This is going to be better than the cuffs and the leg spreader put together.”

He was not allowed to be this happy when I was trying to be a pain in the butt.

Kissing my nose, he leaned me back on the bed, still wearing a big smile. “I love it when you laugh and this is going to combine all of my favorite things into one scene.”

Now he was trying to be cute .

I just couldn’t handle how rude he was being, so I closed my eyes. If I couldn’t see him being cute, it couldn’t affect me.

“Your laughter was one of the first things I noticed about you that day in the ice cream place.” Micha started working on my pants as he talked, not acknowledging my pout at all. “Of course, how sexy you were when you licked the spoon was technically the first thing I noticed but your laughter wasn’t far behind.”

Bringing up how cute I was back then was somehow even ruder…and I was going to tell him that later too.

“Your eyes sparkle when you’re happy and you take my breath away.” His cheating was getting even worse because I was naked and not nearly frustrated enough. “And then you told me how much you like being tickled.”

The level of happiness in his voice made me squirm and I hid my face behind my hands so he wouldn’t see me blush. I couldn’t help but appreciate how it took away the temptation to peek at the stuff he’d gotten. I wasn’t smart all the time but I was curious.

But I’d saved myself.

“You completely let go and you were so sexy. I should’ve realized it was more than that, though.” He kissed the back of my hands but I was smart and stayed hidden. Yep, I was brilliant because he started opening the package.

I’d have seen it.

Nope. I had to stay hidden.

“You’d squeal and wiggle.” There were so many crinkly sounds I didn’t know what he was doing until my underwear came off. “You’d laugh until you couldn’t breathe, but that was when I made my error. I thought that was when I was supposed to stop.”

Hmm.

I ignored the way he lifted my bottom up and simply focused on his words because they were the most important thing. How soft stuff was or how snuggly it felt weren’t important at all. “I thought when you got to the losing control kind of laughter, that meant the game stopped so that accidents didn’t happen. I should’ve asked more questions.”

Well, questions were important parts of relationships .

“I’m not sure that would’ve helped, though.” Micha huffed as he fiddled with the thing more. “You are not always very forthcoming when you’re embarrassed.”

That was rude to mention too…he just kept adding to the list.

“But I love you even when you’re a pain in the butt and I’m going to remember this situation going forward.” He just kept digging the hole deeper and deeper. “I think I might be too patient when it comes to your inability to communicate, but don’t worry, I learn my lessons very thoroughly.”

Fuck.

Ugh.

“God. You’re so cute.” Just when I thought it was safe to stop hiding, he said something like that. “Almost done.”

Shoot.

How had I forgotten the mittens?

“Close your eyes, baby.” He always called me that but somehow it felt different. Still, I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath as he picked up one hand and put the mitten on. “You need oxygen if I’m going to be able to tickle you.”

He was so stubborn.

“No air, no tickles.” Micha put my hand back down on my face before fixing up the other one. “We’re going to have to pick out some other mittens or gloves that completely immobilize your hands but these will work for now.”

He’d really thought about the scene.

Wow .

“And there the oxygen goes. Good boy.” Petting the nipple he’d just pinched, he shifted before I felt him kiss my head. “I’m so glad you chose to breathe.”

Cheater.

“Because I can’t wait to see you lose complete control and be utterly helpless as I make you laugh and wiggle.” He still sounded entirely too happy for how frustrated I was. “You won’t be able to escape until I let you go.”

He had to stop saying that because my dick didn’t understand it was supposed to be boycotting all this nonsense .

“You’re so sexy when you’re helpless.” Micha sprinkled more kisses over my hands and my head before his hands slid under me and moved me to the middle of the bed. “I’m going to find more ways to make you feel vulnerable and completely defenseless next time we play like this, but I don’t mind being the one to hold you down this time.”

Cheater.

Cheater.

Cheater.

Oh no.

“Cuddles first, though.” He sounded so happy, I knew I had to be worried. “That’s right. Up on my lap and snuggle up against my chest.”

He was dangerously excited…he had that you’re so cute tone in his voice.

What had he done?

My brain was so focused on that I missed the obvious until something rubbed against my lips. Something soft.

I sucked in a breath and he slipped the soft thing in between my lips as he made a proud of me sound. “Milk to go with your cookies. I bet you’re thirsty. You came out of the kitchen before you grabbed water or anything.”

Sliding the nipple of the bottle between my lips, he made it feel like he was gently fucking my mouth, so I had to suck on it. “That’s my good boy. I’m going to take good care of you.”

Somehow that sounded erotic and scary.

Yep, I was definitely going to give him all my thoughts on how sneaky he’d been…once it was over and I could talk again.