Neon is the Colour of Vengeance (Flappers and False Gods)

THE MORNING AFTER

Evan stretched luxuriously and rolled over. Hugo was lying sprawled beside him. The thin sheet they had pulled over themselves tantalisingly low on his hips. He looked younger as he slept, the darkness that so often lurked behind his expression banished to the realm of dreams. Evan didn’t want to imagine the horrors he must have seen and inflicted; he pushed the thought away.

In the cold light of the faux sun streaming through the bedroom windows, Evan could see the aftereffects the previous night had left on Hugo. His face was bruised where Bobby had punched him, and the scars from his recent surgeries were puckered and angry.

Despite what he had been through of late, Evan was more contented than he could remember being. He knew what he was doing was dangerous. He knew that he was going to have to come to terms with cutting ties from everyone he loved. He knew he was going to have to start a new life somewhere else, forever looking over his shoulder, and that should scare him, but all he wanted to do in that moment was reach for Hugo and get lost in him again. And so, he did.

Evan snaked his hand under the sheet and gently ran it up Hugo’s thigh. Hugo erupted into consciousness. He flipped over and was on top of Evan before he knew what was happening. Hugo’s fingers closed around Evan’s throat for the shortest moment and then the pressure was gone as he seemed to realise where he was and what he was doing.

“I’m sorry,” he said, panting slightly as be moved back onto his side of the bed. “I’m sorry.”

Evan didn’t say anything. Really, it had been nothing, but for a split second the look in Hugo’s eyes was pure fire, the kind that could snuff out life in an instant. It had gone as quickly as it had come.

“It’s fine,” Evan said as worry brought a crease to Hugo’s brow. “I guess I should have known better than to surprise a hitman while he sleeps.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“You didn’t hurt me. Don’t worry.” Evan gave him a small reassuring smile trying to convince them both. He wasn’t ready to pop their happy little bubble yet.

“What were you doing?”

“This.” Again, Evan ran his hand up Hugo’s thigh. When he reached the apex, Hugo let out a laugh that turned into a moan as Evan began to rub.

“You should have led with that,” he said breathily. “Why don’t we move this to the shower?”

They took their time under the hot spray, delighting in each other, and when they were finished, all Evan wanted to do was curl up with Hugo and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.

But Hugo had other ideas.

“You’re going out?”

“I have to check in. An enemy family made a move on us.” His voice was flat, lifeless.

Something seemed to have changed in the time it had taken Evan to dry off and dress. When he entered the living room, the sexy, open Hugo he had become accustomed to had been replaced with a cold and distant one that stared broodily out the window at the city below.

“Is this about earlier? It’s fine. I gave you a fright, I get it.”

“I know.” Hugo refused to face him.

“Did something happen?”

“Reality.” Hugo shrugged. “I got a call from Sam is all.”

“What did he say?”

Peering over his shoulder, Hugo gave Evan a look that said, ‘ You know better than that’.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I just did some pretty athletic things with you in the bathroom, unless you’re saying my performance was unsatisfactory, I’d like to think I’m way more than okay.”

It was a weak deflection that Evan didn’t dignify with a response. He walked forward and took hold of Hugo’s hand. Hugo gently pulled himself free and stepped away, maintaining the distance between them.

“What’s wrong?” Evan was confused. For him, giving into their connection had been a clarifying moment. It had felt like there were no secrets anymore, no deals between them, just trust. It seemed to have had the opposite effect on Hugo.

“This was a mistake.” Hugo turned back to look out the window, avoiding Evan’s eyes.

“You wanted this before I knew I did.”

“You want to feel something, but I already do. This can only end one way.”

“That’s not true,” Evan all but whispered.

“Which part?” Hugo finally faced him and pinned him with a level stare. When Evan didn’t say anything, Hugo went on. “Bobby saw you here, and there is a war coming. You don’t want to be around for that. It’s out of our hands now. After I speak to Sam, I’ll get you out of the city.”

“Just like that? Today?” Evan felt like he had been blindsided.

“A couple of days at most. I need time to get you some credits and the forger will need some time to make your papers.” He at least had the good grace to look unhappy about it.

“What about my uncle? We made a deal, remember?”

“Dill Kelly killed him. The man who sent those thugs here last night.”

“But why?”

“Does that matter more than your life?” Hugo had taken on the aspect of a statue, unmoving and unyielding.

“What about your life? If last night was just another day at the office, what will a war be like?”

“I knew what I signed up for?—”

“But you didn’t sign up, remember? You were just a kid.”

“I don’t—What do want from me?” His eyes were beseeching, and it was clear some internal conflict raged behind them.

“What did your boss say?” The flicker in Hugo’s expression told Evan that he was on the right track. They just stared at each other, the seconds ticking by.

“I’m going to go in there, and Sam is going to order me to kill someone. Probably several someones and I’ll do it. I won’t blink, I won’t fret, I’ll just end them. And then what? I come home to you? You help me wash the blood off my hands and we play happy families?” He gave a humourless laugh that was almost a scoff.

Evan didn’t know what to say. He had worked very hard to separate the Hugo he spent time with from the man he knew he was out in the real world.

“And that’s not even thinking about the fact you’re supposed to be dead—and Bobby knows about it. They won’t rat me out, but you can’t stay a prisoner here, you’ll want out eventually and what if someone sees you? Then we’re both dead.” His words sung with bitterness.

“They why did you pursue me?”

“Every move that has been made was made by you.”

“Right, ‘cause you’ve just been a boy scout.” Evan sneered. “You told me the day we met you wanted me, and you’ve made no secret of it.”

“I am more monster than man, what about that aren’t you getting?”

“I know that’s not true. You donate and volunteer at the clinic. You are sweet and kind. You help people?—”

“Do you know how many people I’ve killed?” Hugo cut forcefully across him, his voice raised. There was a hard set to his face. “Take a guess. I killed three yesterday right where you’re standing.”

“That was to save us both.” Evan’s voice faltered, just a little.

“And all the others? Go on. Guess.”

“Stop it. Just stop it.”

“Did you know that I’ve tortured people? A lot of people. I’ve cut them and burned them and beat them?—”

“Stop it,” Evan whispered.

“Have I made my point?” Hugo’s eyes were glassy and overbright, but his expression remained determined. “You had me. You got what you wanted and now you need to leave. The sooner the better.”

Hugo left the room. When he returned moments later in a dark blue suit and slotting his gun into its holster, Evan was still reeling.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Fine,” Evan yelled, and Hugo stopped with his hand outstretched towards the door. “You are a monster.”

“I’m glad you finally see it.” The muscle in his jaw twitched.

“I wasn’t done,” Evan snapped. “You are a monster, but you don’t have to be, not anymore. Don’t go. Don’t fight. Don’t follow any more orders and don’t take any more lives. It’s not who you are. Not really. You are victim as much as villain.”

“Maybe once, but not anymore. You don’t know Sam, and let’s face it: you don’t really know me.”

“What kind of a man would turn a helpless child into a killer?”

“One I hope you never have to meet.”

And with that he left.