Neon is the Colour of Vengeance (Flappers and False Gods)

THE GAME

Hugo knew it would all come crashing down eventually, but as he looked at Evan, nestled tightly against his chest and still fast asleep, he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. He was happy. Happier than he had ever been, possibly truly happy for the first time in his life. The man encased in his arms was a tiny ray of light in a world otherwise filled with darkness.

Evan stirred gently. His beautiful green eyes fluttered open, and he smiled widely as he saw Hugo.

“You look different,” he said, bringing a hand to Hugo’s cheek.

“How’s that?”

“Like you’ve let go.”

“I have.” Hugo leant down and placed a chaste kiss on Evan’s lips.

“You’re not worried anymore?”

“I have no doubt that my life is going to come crashing down in a hail of flames, but when it happens, I’ve decided just to enjoy the burn.”

“That won’t happen. I won’t let it.” Evan sat up slightly to press his lips to Hugo’s again. His hands found his hair as his teeth grazed Hugo’s bottom lip.

“If you keep that up, we’ll never get out of this bed.”

“Good.”

When they finally extracted themselves from the sweat-damp sheets and showered it was nearly evening.

“I have something I need to do tonight,” Hugo said, stepping into the living room. He had showered and dressed though his hair was still wet. He looked exquisite. “I was hoping you’d come with me?”

Evan visibly tensed. “On a…job?”

“What? No! God no. Never. I’m supposed to be volunteering at the clinic. D’you wanna come and then maybe we can go for dinner?”

“Like a date?”

“I’ve never been on one—you tell me. Are they usually full of the sick and injured?”

“I’m a trauma surgeon…so, yes.”

Hugo’s face fell ever so slightly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I know it’s sort of your day job.”

“Not lately.”

“Sorry,” Hugo said quietly.

“Don’t be. I don’t think I miss it. At least, I don’t miss Tenebrium Metro.”

“Really?”

“I can’t explain it. Other than…I felt lost and now I don’t.”

Hugo hesitated then stepped close to Evan. He put his hands on his hips and pulled him against his chest so he could press their lips together. It was still slightly strange to Hugo that he was able to just do that. Something so simple and so intimate. It was novel.

“Ready to get your hands dirty?”

Rishaan Chowdhury’s clinic was busier than Hugo had seen it in a long while. There was a queue that went down the street when he and Evan arrived. Some people were what would have been classed as ‘the walking wounded’, with minor injuries, while there was some that Hugo knew immediately were in critical condition.

It didn’t take them long to glean what had happened; there had been a mass shooting at a mall and most people in the city didn’t have healthcare.

Hugo was tasked with attending to the minor injuries, which included more than a couple bullet extractions. He worked side by side with the other volunteers and clinic staff, doctors, nurses and off-duty Medicus.

He hadn’t seen Evan in hours, the man having almost immediately having joined Rishaan in surgery.

Hugo loved working in the clinic, even amongst all the gore and the chaos. It was his happy place. It was the one place he went where he wasn’t a monster, where he wasn’t greeted with fear, and where he felt he could pay back some of the debts he owed in blood. He was a bad person at his core, and he knew it. He had done despicable things. There was no wiping his slate clean, but the attempt had to count for something, right?

Hot, tired, and covered in blood Hugo applied a sling to a woman who had been trampled in the panic after the shooter began to fire. She had been the last patient waiting, for now at least.

He ripped the gown that had been protecting his clothes from his neck and put it in one of the medical waste disposal bins, then wiped his brow and went to check on Evan. Hugo found him leaning against the wall of the corridor that led to the operating theatre. He looked exhausted as he stood, slightly slumped, holding a damp scrub cap in his hand.

“You okay?”

Evan looked up and gave a tired but happy smile. “I’d almost forgotten how good it is to hold a scalpel.”

“A good night then?”

“Any night in the OR with no fatalities is a good night.”

“That sounds like we should celebrate.”

“What time is it?”

“After four. It’s almost morning. Let’s get dinner. Tenebrium is the city that never sleeps, after all.”

“Don’t you mean breakfast?” Evan was feigning hesitancy and Hugo could tell.

“It’s not morning until we’ve been to bed.”

They walked hand in hand through the Pleasure Quarter deciding where they wanted to eat. Hugo had been right; the city was as alive now as it would have been during the day. The restaurants and bars were bustling, although many of the patrons seemed worse for wear.

Hugo still couldn’t get used to the giddy feeling of Evan’s hand in his. Something had shifted between them in the last day or two, and he felt a joy he could hardly put into words.

“Hey, Ford! Hey! Ford! It’s me!”

Hugo grunted in irritation and pulled Evan closer to him as he turned to see who had called. Jack Li was of medium height, Chinese, and in his late thirties. His short dark hair was buzzed at the sides, and he was covered head to toe in tattoos. His bottom lip had the words ‘Bite Me’ inked into it. He was muscular and had a very casual way about him that Hugo usually enjoyed, but he was a lackey for Samuel and not someone that Hugo wanted seeing Evan.

“Hey, Jackie,” Hugo greeted, plastering a fake smile onto his face.

“You’ve done well for yourself tonight. Who’s your friend?”

“I didn’t ask—I just gave him some credits if you catch my drift.”

“Say no more,” Jack said with a wink. It was clear he was drunk.

“Where you headed?” Hugo asked, feigning interest in the hopes of avoiding suspicion.

“Ward Eight, baby. It’s the only way to fly.”

“They paying you or something?”

“No, but they have this girl there named Starla. I swear I’m in love.”

“You’re always in love. Listen, I’m paying by the minute here…”

“All right, I can take a hint. Go get some, killer.”

Hugo watched Jack saunter out of sight with a slightly bemused smile. Jack only acted that way when he was drunk. In general, he was level-headed, friendly, and sharper than some of the others in the family gave him credit for and most importantly he was fiercely loyal.

When Jack was finally out of sight, Hugo turned to Evan. “Sorry about that,” he muttered.

“I guess dinner is on you, then.” He didn’t seem all too bothered by the interaction.

They sat down at a small restaurant just off Duvall Street. It was a stunning Japanese place with purple walls painted to look like cherry blossoms. It was intimate and dark; the two things Hugo had been looking for.

They sat in a secluded booth to eye the menu. Now that they were there, Hugo began to feel awkward. They were attracted to each other, that was clear, and while they often discussed their situation, they had never really engaged in casual conversation. The prospect was making him nervous; Evan seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

“Why don’t we order some food, then play a game.”

“A game?” Hugo tilted his head to the side inquisitively.

“A question for a question, but you have to answer.”

“Or…?”

“That’s not really in the spirit of the game. I want to get to know you outside of danger and blood.”

“It’s like a real date.”

“This is a real date, and how would you know?”

Hugo laughed.

A waitress in a drop-hem dress made of flowers took their order and they sat in comfortable silence until their food and drinks arrived. The food was delicious, but it wasn’t what held Hugo’s attention.

“Ready?” Evan asked as he swallowed a bite. “We’ll start small. Build up.”

Hugo nodded.

“Where did you go to school?”

“I didn’t. Mob kid, remember? I had a tutor. She taught me maths and English, history. All the usual stuff and some not so usual stuff. Me and Gen, a class of two.”

“You guys are really close, huh?”

“That’s another question. It’s my turn.” Evan looked at him expectantly, but Hugo was stumped. He wanted to know a lot of things; it was hard to pick just one. “Do you have any good memories of your father?”

Evan looked a little surprised but not upset. “Not really. He wasn’t home much and when he was it was trouble.” He thought for a moment. “I think I remember…I was really young so I could have made this up, but I think he took me to the surface once. Off the colony and onto real dry land. I remember the shuttle flying us over the ocean and I remember the sand on the beach. I remember looking out of the shuttle windows back at the colony as we flew; it looked like a javelin thrown from the sky into the ocean. It was huge and silver. You could see all the floors, all the cities under Tenebrium and all the other colonies floating alongside it. It was beautiful. I have this vivid image of my dad laughing at the look of wonder on my face. That’s it.”

“I’ve never been to the surface. I’d like to, though.”

“Why not?” Evan was surprised. Hugo gave off an air of worldliness that had Evan assuming there wasn’t much he hadn’t done. “It’s not like you don’t have the resources.”

“Sam likes me to be close in case he needs me. I’ve never been anywhere that wasn’t for a job. If he called me right now, I’d have to go.”

“What is that like?”

“Wait your turn,” Hugo admonished half-heartedly. “Is there any part of you that wishes you hadn’t left the life? That you weren’t a civi?”

This, Evan thought about seriously, and it was nearly two full minutes before he answered. “I hated everything my father stood for. I was so happy to be away from him and so relieved. I have witnessed the damage organised crime can do at a family level and as a doctor. My answer should be easy. It should be ‘hell no’, but there was a moment after my uncle died where I wished I had the power to do something about it.” He took another bite of his food and sip of his drink before asking, “Tell me about you and Gen.”

“She’s my sister. We’re the same age. Sam picked us up maybe eight months apart. He’s our father for all intents, though he never officially adopted us. We’re like unclaimed items at the lost and found. That’s what Gen used to say anyway.” He smiled at the memory. “I’m grateful to Sam, he made me who I am, but it wasn’t always easy. She and I took care of each other. We had Bobby, but they were a little older and when you’re young a couple of years seems huge. And then there was Alice. Sam took her in when I was around fifteen. She is my sister I guess, but it was never the same and I know she doesn’t consider Sam her father. She’s younger than us, but she remembers her bio parents. There was something dark about her even as a kid. It was always just me and Gen against the world. Still is from time to time.” He couldn’t keep the fond smile to himself. “Tell me about your friends?”

“They’re nice, good people and they care about me. I care about them, too, but I always felt just slightly separate from them, you know? My best friend is called Harriet. She’s a scrub nurse and a real wild card. A bearcat for sure. But there’s always this distance. I can’t tell her a lot about my life—my family; if makes it feel less real somehow.” Evan took another mouthful of food and let out a hum of satisfaction. “What was it like growing up with Sam? Growing up in the mob?”

Hugo deliberated how to answer. There had been some very dark times, and he didn’t want to ruin the mood. “I love and fear Sam in equal measure. He has been a wonderful father and a hard boss. When he took me in for the first year or so, he just treated me like a kid. He was doting, loving. But…on my ninth birthday, he threw me a party and told me he had a big surprise. That surprise was a man tied to a chair. He handed me an ice pick and told me it would be my first lesson and if I couldn’t do what he wanted, he would put me out on the street again. That’s what growing up in the mob is like. It was hard and unforgiving, but it was also filled with love and family. I wouldn’t change it.”

“You were so young.” Evan’s face was pale.

Hugo didn’t answer. “Tell me your happiest memory, your proudest moment.”

“Getting into med-school,” Evan said quickly. “What was your first kill like?”

Hugo smiled, but there was no warmth to it. “You already know the answer to that.”

Evan reached a hand across the table to take Hugo’s, but Hugo pulled his back before their fingers could meet.

“Ask something else.” He couldn’t quite meet Evan’s eyes.

“How did you get those scars on your back?”

Hugo shivered. It was probably his worst memory and one he didn’t like to relive.

“So much for keeping it light.”

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that,” Evan spoke quickly, his regret clear.

“I was twelve.” He took a steadying drink from his glass. “A cop…you might call him dirty, but others think differently, got wind of a child trafficking ring. He knew who was doing it—who the head honcho was—but they could never catch him. Not legally, anyway.”

“You really don’t have to tell me.” Evan shook his head, but the interest was clear in his eyes.

“That’s not really in the spirit of the game,” Hugo echoed. He hated reliving the past, but he also needed to know Evan could handle it before they fell any deeper. “Sam had already put me on a fair few jobs by then. He thought I’d be the perfect plant. I’d pretend to be lost, get nabbed and cut off the head of the snake.”

“Your father handed you to…” Evan looked a little green. “Anything could have happened to you.”

“That’s what being a mob kid is. You have to sing for your supper.”

The horrified look on Evan’s face made Hugo’s insides squirm.

“Are you okay?”

“You’re asking me?” Evan gave an uncomfortable laugh then shook himself. “I’m fine. Keep going. A cop put out a hit on a trafficker?”

Hugo waited a moment longer then nodded. “I don’t know how he would have felt if he knew the button man was actually just a boy, but he never found out. I was supposed to get close and kill the guy, but I wasn’t as…focused as I am now. I saw the other kids and I wanted to free them. I should have done the job first, but my feelings got the better of me. I set about a dozen loose before they caught me.” A chill went through Hugo, and he rubbed his wrists absently as if he could feel cold iron against them. “They strung me up, stripped me, and whipped me. Whatever they used was weird. It left thin cuts and it hurt like hell. They starved me, beat me, burned me, told me they were breaking me in for whoever I was going to be sold to. I was there for five days before I managed to escape and finish the job.” Even Hugo could hear the deadened quality to his own voice.

Evan’s eyes were glassy. It made Hugo’s chest feel tight. “Didn’t Samuel try to help you?”

Hugo laughed bitterly. “No. No, he did not. That’s probably the lowest point in our relationship, but it taught me a valuable lesson. I understand now why he did it. I’d fucked up. I’d gone off script. I had lost sight of the mission, and I paid for it.”

“You were just a kid!” Hugo could tell Evan wanted to hold him close, but he didn’t think he could bare it.

“Doesn’t matter. I had a job to do, and I messed up. That is the only time I failed him, until…”

“Me,” Evan whispered. “What will he do to you if he catches you?”

“It’s my turn?—”

“I’m serious. Tell me.”

Hugo sighed defeatedly. “He might just shoot me, but knowing Sam, he’d make an example. Probably torture me some and throw me in The Brig. It’s this hole he had dug in the basement. It’s dark and has murky water. He likes to torture folks who have displeased him and then throw them in there. The open wounds get infected…nasty way to go. If you’re lucky he’d pull you out and get you to a Medicus. Not everyone has been that lucky.”

Evan looked appalled, like he might throw up. “Why would you risk that for me?”

“If I have to tell you, I’ve been doing this whole dating thing wrong.” He reached out then and grasped Evan’s hand, stroking his thumb over his knuckles. “C’mon, you’re ruining the game. I don’t need you to worry about me or feel bad for me. Sam is who he is, and I love him either way.”

Hugo pinned Evan with a level stare making it clear he would discuss it no further.

“Do you really remember every name?”

“Of the people I’ve killed? Yeah. I think it’s important. Do you want to know the number?”

Evan shook his head immediately.

“Have I scared you away?” Hugo’s heart was entirely absent from his chest as he waited for Evan to respond. The seconds ticked by, and fear began to roil in his stomach.

“No, and that’s what worries me.”