Neon & Nets (Venom Next Gen #1)

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Sofia

Don’t make this weird. It’s only Knight , I tell myself, even as his hands reposition themselves beneath my bare thighs. His hands are alarmingly close to all my… bits, and it’s lucky that we’re in a pool so that my response is less noticeable. Are my nipples visible beneath my top? Duh, of course, the water’s cold! Wet bathing suit bottom? Don’t make it weird; you can totally smell the chlorine.

Knova and Viktor are horsing around, which helps distract from the fact that Knight and I have barely spoken. I was worried that he might not want to get stuck carrying me around, but in spite of my misgivings, this is… fun. Listening to Knova and Viktor bicker almost makes it feel like nothing’s changed.

“Stop trying to strangle me, you goon!” Viktor tosses Knova aside. She falls from his back with a shriek but manages to hook one knee around him so that he falls, too. They both go under for a few seconds. When they emerge, sputtering and enraged, Knova pulls him into a headlock.

“I’m not trying to strangle you!” she snaps, grinding her knuckles into his damp scalp. “I’m trying to hold on, but you keep dropping me.”

“’Cuz you’re slippery like a fish!” Viktor digs his elbow into her ribs. “Did you oil up before getting in the pool or something?”

“Hello, it’s called sunscreen, and it’s the reason I’m still going to have great skin when I’m eighty, unlike the rest of you!”

Noah and Molly watch from near the barbecue, shaking their heads at their crazy son.

While they continue splashing each other, much to the amusement of my brother and the other high schoolers, Knight adjusts his grip on my slippery thighs yet again. He looks over his shoulder to smile at me, evidently unbothered by the fact that his neck is pretty much wedged between my double Ds. “I’m not sure they need us for this,” he says.

“I thought we were supposed to be fighting them,” I agree.

“Insubordination!” Viktor booms.

Knova tries to shove his head under the water. “It’s only insubordination if you’re my superior officer, which is clearly not the case!”

“I’m the foundation on which this team of chicken was built.”

“And I’m on top!”

Viktor back floats away from her and gives her a lascivious grin. “Let’s take it cosmic, baby.”

“Fuck you!”

“You couldn’t handle all this.” Viktor wiggles his eyebrows. “Many have tried. Many have failed.”

“I think there’s something wrong with him,” I mutter, somewhat disgusted. No one wants to think of their friend as promiscuous even when it’s the truth.

“You’re not wrong,” Knight replies, squeezing my calves.

In response, Knova grabs Viktor by the ankles and drags him under the water.

Knight’s grip on my thighs relaxes as he releases me. “I guess we’re Switzerland.”

“Does that mean we win by default?” I let myself sink down until the perfectly curled ends of my hair float around me like seaweed. I don’t know why I’m feeling so self-conscious today. It’s not like Knight has missed me… I haven’t seen him in years, and I’m sure he’s been living his best fuckboy life. He’s a childhood friend. I’m the one overthinking this whole experience. Making more out of it than it is.

But maybe, just maybe, I want to make more of it—more of us—and the thought scares the hell out of me. So I breathe deep and cast it aside.

“I think so.” Knight casts me a sidelong glance. Is he checking me out? I brace myself for a flirtatious pickup line or, worse, the same questions everyone else asks me. So, you’re almost done with school? What are you going to do next? Are you seeing anyone? What’s your five-year plan?

What they mean is, do you even know who you are, Sofia?

I hate those questions.

Instead, Knight says, “The good news is that our economy is booming, and we have excellent healthcare.”

“On the downside, we’re boring.”

“Are you saying that we’re boring?” He cocks his head. “Or that Switzerland is boring?”

I shrug. “Who can say? The metaphor got away from me.”

Knight shakes his head and sighs. “I don’t know how we’re going to maintain our reputation as a global power if you can’t sustain the extended metaphor, Sofia.”

I have to laugh at his serious expression. “You’re such a dork, Knight.”

It’s a juvenile taunt, but Knight looks incredibly pleased with himself for some reason. “I like to think of myself as the mature and responsible one, actually.”

I flick my wrist toward Viktor. “Sure, but that’s a low bar. Everyone around him is evolving and growing, while he has decided stagnation is a good look.”

We both turn to watch Knova and Viktor’s epic splash battle. My back bumps the solid, cool tile at the edge of the pool. A few seconds later, Knight’s warm bicep brushes mine. He’s almost as solid as the wall behind me, all lean lines and firm muscles and just enough hair on his limbs and chest that I want to keep looking. I come from a family of hairy men. I have no interest in dating a human shag rug, thank you very much.

While Knight watches his sister, I watch him. I have a long history of staring at his profile when I think he’s not paying attention. I’m annoyed with myself, in part because it feels like I’m backsliding like Viktor. Haven’t I grown since high school? Surely I’m more mature than this by now?

I need to get out of here. The longer I stay, the more I can feel myself regressing into a version of myself that I was more than happy to leave behind. In college, I gained a bit more self-confidence, which I desperately want to keep.

“It was great to see you again,” I blurt.

His eyes meet mine. They’re hazel, with flecks of green and gray that make me want to study them in detail. “Why the past tense?”

“I should go. I’ve got work to do. Nice party though.”

“Right now?” Knight’s skepticism is obvious.

“I still haven’t decided on a thesis topic, so…”

“So studious.” He bumps his shoulder against mine and sends gooseflesh racing up my spine. “Who’s the dork now?”

“You wound me.” I pretend to swoon. Away from him, because every time my skin touches his, my higher brain functions short out. Stupid hormones. Why do they always seem to rage the hardest for the man who’s out of your league?

“I could come with you,” he offers. “Help you brainstorm.”

“Really? In the middle of a celebration where you’re the guest of honor?”

“I think the party’s winding down.” He nods toward the grill.

Sure enough, people are already packing up. Ranger, Delilah, and their daughter Dot are on their way out, probably because Ranger insisted on adopting a bonded pair of ancient chihuahuas last year. They need to be let out of the house every four hours like clockwork on account of their tiny, fossilized bladders.

“Come on.” Knight waves his arms, gliding backward toward the ladder in the corner of the pool. “Let’s wrap up here, and then we can talk about that thesis. A couple of nerds like us will be able to come up with something brilliant, don’t you think?”

It’s easier said than done. Everyone wants to squeeze in one last private moment with Knight to celebrate his return. I hang back by the pool deck and take my time collecting my things.

Truth be told, I wasn’t planning on doing schoolwork tonight. I was going to watch a movie and enjoy the privacy of the pool house. Mom and Dad offered to let me stay in my old room, but after a few nights in there, claustrophobia set in. It didn’t feel like coming home to my comfort zone. It felt like a cage.

I shimmy back into my dress, which is quickly soaked through by my bathing suit. I’m still waiting for Knight when Mom comes over.

“Arturo has an early shift at the coffee shop tomorrow,” she tells me. “We’re heading out.”

“Cool.” I paste on a smile.

“You’ll be around for dinner tomorrow, right?” She smiles fondly and runs her hand down my bare arm. “We’re making eggplant parm. Your favorite.”

My favorite when I was little. I don’t like how defensive I get around my parents, especially when it’s obvious how much they love me. I want to make them proud. I want to be a good daughter. But their love comes with so many strings and rules that it sometimes hurts to be loved by them. It’s like I’m not allowed to grow out of being their daughter or make decisions that go counter to their expectations. They’ve decided what my life should look like, and any time I deviate from that course, they remind me that I’ve screwed up.

Go to college.

Get a master’s.

Get married.

Have kids.

Have a stable career.

Retire young.

In other words, do everything just the way they did, because it made them happy. And truly, they are happy. If I ever meet someone who loves me as much as they love each other, I’ll count myself lucky. I just wish there was more room in their plan for me to be… me.

“Sure.” My voice comes out so soft that I’m surprised she can hear me. “See you then.”

Mom takes my face between her hands and kisses each of my cheeks with a loud, wet smack. Then she’s gone, off to do the next thing on her busy schedule, and I’m left frozen in place, paralyzed by uncertainty.

“Hey.” Knight strolls back with his hands in the pockets of a fresh pair of shorts. “Sorry I kept you waiting, but I figured you wouldn’t want me dripping chlorine all over the furniture.”

“Good thinking.” I double-check that I have everything I came with. “Shall we?”

Knight holds out his arm, and I take it, for old time’s sake. If nothing else, it will be nice to catch up.

Everyone else left by the side gate, but we take the better route: out the back exit, through the yard next door, and up Latham’s driveway. According to neighborhood lore, Cash installed this gate when Briggs was first courting Layla. They’ve been married almost as long as I’ve been alive.

“What are you studying?” Knight asks.

“Sociology. What about you? When you were in school, I mean. I only remember you talking about sports.”

“Because I studied sports medicine.” Knight grins. His smile has always been a little lopsided as if his amusement catches him by surprise every time.

“You majored in sportsball,” I deadpan. “Hardcore.”

He places a hand over his heart. “I’ll have you know that the phrase “sportsball” is an anti-jock construct. My sport of choice involves no balls at all.”

I fight to keep a straight face. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

He grimaces theatrically. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Joking about genitals with the guy who starred in my horniest high school fantasies is a dangerous prospect. I stick to the safer topic. “I’m not sure a background in sports medicine is going to help much with this brainstorming session.”

“You never know. Explaining your ideas to a meathead like me could help you work through your options. If anything, it will highlight what not to choose as a topic.”

We enter the side gate at my parents’ house. If Dad sees me sneaking a guy into the pool house, he’ll pester me about it forever. Then again, wasn’t he the one telling me that I need to spend more time with guys? Besides, it’s only Knight. My neighbor. My childhood friend.

My first crush.

Oh my God, Sofia, stop overthinking everything.

“What have you got so far?” Knight asks. He trails me like a puppy back to my home.

“Nothing solid.”

“Is there anything you wish someone else had written a paper about?”

I consider this as I unlock the front door. “How to deal with overly involved parents, maybe?”

“Are they giving you a hard time?” Knight seems genuinely interested in my response. I can feel his eyes on me as I step through the door and kick off my sandals.

“I don’t know. Dad was pestering me earlier about the fact that I don’t date. He wants grandkids sooner rather than later.”

Knight chuckles. The sound is so low that I feel it as much as I hear it. It rumbles off the walls of my small living space. “I know. He and my dad were commiserating about the lack of toddlers in their future. My dad wasn’t even being as grumpy about his grass as he normally is.”

“Cry me a river. If they love being around kids that much, they should coach Little League. Or… wait, is there a hockey version of that?”

Knight sinks down on my loveseat. It’s the perfect length for me to curl up and read or watch TV, but his long limbs make it look comically small. It’s my only non-bed piece of comfy furniture, too. There’s nowhere else to sit but right beside him.

“They can wait.” He pats the seat beside him. “You know what can’t wait, though? This all-important thesis topic.”

“Actually, I’m… going to wash up?” I squirm, making my boobs jiggle. “This wet bathing suit isn’t exactly comfortable.”

“Oh, sure, go for it.” He averts his eyes which hits me right in the center of my stomach. No more boob-jiggling. Got it.

I also want to get the chlorine out of my hair, so I hop in the shower. I’m already shampooing my hair before it registers that I’m naked with a guy in the next room. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else—my experience with guys hasn’t been awful, but I know that most of them see any vulnerability as an opportunity. I’m not worried about Knight, though. I trust him. Come to think of it, I don’t remember if I even locked the bathroom door.

While I pull on comfy clothes after my shower, I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror. Without makeup, my eyes look smaller. I would never go on a date without putting on makeup, and I briefly consider whipping out at least some tinted foundation, mascara, and lip gloss.

Nah. It’s Knight. He’s practically family. If I try too hard, he’ll know I’ve been worrying about what he thinks of me.

“Good news!” I fling the bathroom door open and stride into the main room. “I thought of a perfect thesis topic while in the shower. Now we can watch a movie instead.”

“You did?” Knight’s eyebrows rise. “Uh-huh. Do I get to hear this brilliant idea?”

“Nope. It’s top secret.” I flop onto the loveseat beside him. “But you can read the paper when it’s done.”

He doesn’t press too hard, the way my parents would. The way even Emily would. He just takes my word for it. Like he believes me and trusts my judgment. It’s hard not to lean straight in to how damn good that feels.

After a brief debate about what to watch, we settle in with a cheesy, low-budget sci-fi movie called Sharktopus Rex vs. Megashrimp . Per usual, we strike up a running commentary. Knight is team sharktopus, while I’m shrimps all the way.

“You know,” I muse, while the movie abandons our aquatic nemeses in favor of some unnecessary and poorly acted backstory, “if dating could be more like this, I could get into it.”

“Yeah?” Knight massages my foot. When did my feet end up in his lap? I don’t remember doing that. “Why can’t it be like this?”

My face heats up. That was way too obvious. “What guy wants to sit around watching Netflix with no chill?”

“The kind of guy you should be dating,” Knight says. “Which is what your dad would say if he didn’t love you so much that he can’t get out of his own way.”

Are we… having a moment? Is this a moment? Do I still want this man, even with all the years that have passed stretching between us? I settle back against the arm of the loveseat and close my eyes. Because I totally do. “You’re not icky at all.”

Knight chuckles. “I have no idea what that means, but I’m going to take it as a compliment.”

“I shouldn’t be thinking about dating anyway. I need to start laying the groundwork for my thesis.”

Knight’s hands move to my other foot. God damn, that feels good. The languid feeling travels from my toes to my calves to my thighs to my… “We could… not date together. When you need some downtime. I’m happy to Netflix-sans-chill anytime you want.”

He’s flirting with me. Isn’t he? Holy hell, I’m so confused.

Shit. Maybe I should try dating again. I don’t want to ruin this. What if we did hook up, and then it turned out that Knight has a million tiny red flags I’ve blissfully ignored all this time? I’d lose a love and a friend in the same blow.

But the thought of losing him, of not having Knight in my life at all—it’s unbearable. Even though we’ve just reconnected, we’ve already fallen back into this easy way of being together that I cherish. I’d rather take the risk and let things blur at the edges than face a world where he’s just a memory.

If that means keeping things light, never crossing that line, then so be it. I’d rather have a little bit of Knight than nothing at all, because the truth is, the idea of losing him altogether rips me apart inside. I’m glad he’s back because I didn’t realize how much I missed him. Missed this. And I need him in my life right now, even if it’s only in fragments because without him, I’m not sure I’d know how to put myself back together.

On the plus side, I think I really did just figure out what my thesis is going to be about.