Never Say Never (Haven Harbor #3)

Chapter 8

EIGHT

AWKWARD FAMILY DINNERS

D aisy

I started my day with a renewed commitment and calm energy. A five-mile run along White Harbor beach, followed by a croissant and an Americano on my porch while I scrolled through Airbnbs in Rome. After that, I showered, taking time to blow dry my hair as I listened to a podcast. It felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. I had officially started my detox yesterday morning, muting Tucker’s socials—not that he ever posted much of anything on them anyway— and focusing my energy on trip planning. The sooner I started this withdrawal, the sooner I’d be over him.

And the sooner I could move on with my life.

I emerge from the bathroom to find Briar in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher.

“Hey, wanna hit the pickleball courts this afternoon?” I ask, opening a cupboard door and taking the stack of plates from her hands.

“I wish, but I can’t,” she says. “I bit the bullet and bought myself a plane ticket to Vancouver this morning. I leave in a few weeks, and today is the only day I have to do some shopping. I want to get my mom a few things before I leave.”

“Briar, that’s great. I’m glad you’re going. It will do you some good to see her.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, putting the last of the coffee mugs away. I slip onto one of the bar stools lining the counter, and she wipes her hands and then takes the seat across from me.

“How long are you gone for?”

“A week,” she sighs. “I need to be back for work. I have a performance review.” Briar works in sales and marketing for a huge food company that is famous for its cheese. “I wish I could have stayed a little longer.”

“You’ll make the most of it. I know you,” I say, looking at my best friend. “Have you told your mom?”

“That I’m coming?” she asks. I nod. “I’m going to call her now before I go to the mall.”

“She’s going to be so happy.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

Briar pins me with an inquisitive look. “So… what’s the deal with you and Tucker?”

“There is no deal,” I tell her.

“It sure looked like there was something going on with the two of you. You couldn’t take your eyes off each other.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. After the game Friday night, he looked like he wanted to celebrate with you… in his bed... horizontally.” My stomach torpedoes to the tips of my toes remembering his eyes on mine. I’m surprised that Briar noticed, I thought maybe that moment between Tucker and I had been all in my head.

“It’s not like that. It was nothing.” I spin the ring on my index finger, not entirely comfortable at the turn this conversation has taken.

Briar huffs out a laugh. “Do you really believe that?”

I slide off my stool and walk toward the cupboard for a glass. “Uh huh. He was excited at the win. We were all excited! His family was there. Hell, my family is his family. He was probably looking at all of us.”

“Whatever you say.”

I turn the tap on, allowing the water to run cold before filling my glass.

“But… how would you feel if he did want something more with you?”

I take a sip as her question tumbles around in my brain.

How would I feel? I’m not sure how to answer that. I can admit to the undeniable attraction I’ve always felt for Tucker, but anything beyond that—anything resembling a relationship—is hard to imagine.

Her question feels too big.

“He doesn’t.” When it comes to Tucker, the only thing I’m sure of right now is that I need space so that I can stop having these feelings for him. “Besides, we’re family. It just seems wrong.”

I’ve never told anyone about our kiss, not even Briar. I’ve kept that secret close to my chest for over 10 years and because of that it feels as if that brief moment belongs to me and Tucker only. Our secret. I have no delusions about what it meant, but every time I think about his lips on mine, I smile. There’s no way I could ever forget it.

Briar’s expression softens as if she knows there’s more to it than what I’ve told her. “For what it’s worth, babe, I think you’d be playing with fire with that one. You’re looking for love. A ring and a white picket fence. The whole deal. Maybe not right this second, but that’s the path you want to be on. Tucker seems like the type who would rather set himself on fire than commit to one woman. Why waste your time? Imagine if you did sleep with him and then realized it was a mistake. Family dinners would get awkward real fast.” She stretches out the word real.

She’s right, of course. The rational part of my brain knows this, but there’s another part that gets excited at the thought of having Tucker’s arms wrapped around me, his naked body pressed against mine, him buried deep inside of me. But sleeping with Uncle Mark and Aunt Daisy’s son would be a surefire way to complicate our family dynamic.

“Daisy, are you okay?” Briar cocks her head at me, looking concerned.

I inhale, bringing myself back to the present and to my best friend. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’ll go get some groceries. The fridge is looking pretty sad.”

“Okay,” she says. “If you’re sure. I’ll be in my room. I’m going to call my mom.”

I open the fridge to survey its contents, making a mental note of what I need to get. It’s Sunday, so maybe I’ll stop by the farmer’s market and pick up some fresh produce and bread before hitting up Whole Foods. I’m closing the refrigerator door when I hear a knock at the apartment door.

I swing the door open to find ocean-blue eyes staring back at me. Tucker. I’m speechless. What is he doing here?

I am not prepared to see him. Especially when he looks like that. God, he looks good. His tall frame fills the doorway. He’s wearing a gray Henley and a pair of jeans, his chiselled jaw covered in dark stubble.

“Don’t look so happy to see me.”

I stay where I am, careful not to give him an opening to come into my apartment. “Tucker, what are you doing here?”

“I told you I’d pick you up for dinner.”

“You what?”

He stares back at me as if I’ve lost my ever-loving mind, with the hint of a smirk that causes an annoying spark of arousal deep in my belly. “When did you say that?”

He gives me an exasperated look. “I told you at Dream Bean. I guess you were too busy hating my guts for it to register.”

Not picking up on my cue, he smiles as he squeezes past me and walks into the living room. I shut the door behind him and immediately feel the charge in the air. The room gets smaller, the air thicker, and I find myself wishing Briar would walk out of her bedroom to break the tension.

He stalks toward my couch, shifting the two mismatched throw pillows over before taking a seat.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to get changed so we can go to Mom’s for dinner,” he says before grabbing a book off my coffee table. It’s a National Geographic travel book that I found in this cute thrift store in Cape May. I had to have it when I flipped through its pages and saw the stunning photos of ancient towns nestled into Italian hillsides, narrow canyons carved into bright red sandstone, golden temples perched on lush, green mountains. I wanted to see it all.

I went to South America right after graduation, it was one of those Contiki tours. It was the first trip I took without my parents, and I had the time of my life. That was the trip that sparked my need to travel the world.

“Well, don’t get too comfy,” I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not going for dinner. I told my parents I’m sick.”

Tucker gives me a look. “You don’t look sick.”

“I’m not.”

“Then why would you tell them that?”

“I’m busy and I’m tired and I don’t feel like going,” I lie with a shrug, hoping he will stop asking questions and get the hell out of here.

His ocean-blue eyes meet mine and he fixes me with a calm, steady gaze. “I want you to come with me.”

Something in the way he says it knocks the wind out of me. My response is barely audible. “Why?”

He exhales a deep breath, then looks down at the book in his lap before returning his gaze to me. “Because they like you. They’ll talk to you and ignore me. I need that tonight.”

“Your parents like you too, Tuck.”

“Daisy,” he says with a sigh, “With the road trip coming up and the end of the season, I’m too anxious to deal with my dad tonight.” My chest aches at the hurt in his voice. “When you’re around, it’s just… easier.”

Tucker is normally stoic. He shies away from emotion or opening himself up, so this admission is important. “Okay. I’m going to go get dressed,” I nod my head in the direction of my bedroom. “I won’t be long.”

I watch the tension in his shoulders release, and I know I’ve made the right decision. I close my bedroom door behind me and sit down on the edge of my bed, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. This is the opposite of what I promised myself. I had vowed to keep a safe distance from Tucker, but this just feels different.

He needs me.

I quickly change into a vintage skirt, tank top, and a light sweater that falls off one shoulder and twist my hair into a messy bun at the nape of my neck, then join Tucker back in the living room. He’s on the couch where I left him, still flipping through my travel book.

“Do you ever think about traveling?” I ask. The Collins’ vacationed often when Tuck was growing up, but as far as I know he hasn’t gone anywhere on his own, beyond the occasional golf or fishing trip with the boys.

He flips a page of the book before responding. “I remember being envious of you when you went on that trip after graduation.”

“You were? I didn’t know that,” I say as I sit down next to him, his knee an inch from mine. My stomach climbs into my chest as I breathe in his woodsy scent, remembering what happened the last time I was on a couch this close to him. It has been ages since that day— Tucker was just a boy with a slender frame and no facial hair— but something about this moment brings me straight back.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” He flips another page, looking lost in thought, and I wonder what he means. Before I have the chance to ask him, he turns to look at me.

“I want to be the guy you have fun with until you leave,” he says, looking at me with sudden intensity.

Pardon me?

“What?” I must be losing my mind, because there is no way Tucker just said what I think he said.

“You heard me, Daisy.”

“No, I don’t think I did,” I stammer. “I couldn’t have heard you right.”

His already dark eyes turn three shades darker. “You heard me just fine. You want to have fun before you go. You have needs and so do I. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, so it makes perfect sense,” he says. “We care about each other. We can have safe, consensual sex with no strings and neither one of us gets hurt.”

“You must be out of your mind.”

“Not really.”

He actually thinks this is a good idea. “What are you always saying? I’m like a sister to you, right? You really think I’m the right person to be having sex with? Have you thought about our parents? They would lose their ever-loving minds.”

“They never have to find out,” he says. “And it’s not like we’re related. We grew up together, yes. As friends. So, we wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.”

Technically, he’s right, but he knows as well as I do that we were raised like siblings. The two of us have always been seen and treated as family.

He raises a brow as if he doesn’t understand why I’m hesitating. My heart thuds in my chest and I am hyper-aware of the place where our knees are still touching. Are we really having this conversation? I feel like I’m in a fever dream.

“Why do you need me for sex?” I ask in an incredulous tone. “You have every girl in Reed Point wanting a turn with you.”

He cocks his head instead of responding to my question. “I want you to think about it, Daisy. It’s not such a bad idea. I’m a better option than some guy you just met. You know me; you don’t know anything about that other dude.”

“He left.”

Tucker’s eyes narrow. “What do you mean, he left?”

“Will. The guy you saw me with at the dock party. He was only here on business. I knew he was leaving from the start.” Which made him the perfect guy to enjoy for a little while. “And no, I didn’t, before you ask. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with him. It didn’t feel right.”

As soon as I say it, I know it was a bad idea to admit to Tucker that something stopped me from going all the way with Will. It was only two days ago that I vowed to forget all about Tucker Collins, and now here we are, casually discussing a friends with benefits scenario. What is happening?

“Why?” he asks, refusing to let it go.

“Why what?”

“Why couldn’t you sleep with him?”

My mouth goes dry as a bone as tension simmers in the air between us. Part of me wants to spill my guts, to tell him everything. But I can’t do it, so instead I just say, “I wasn’t attracted to him.”

I release a slow breath and force my racing heart to relax. When Tucker speaks next, his voice is low and laced with heat that wraps itself around my chest.

“Then I have one more question… are you attracted to me?”