Never Say Never (Haven Harbor #3)

Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

BE A GOOD GIRL FOR ME, REBEL

T ucker

The two weeks leading up to Christmas are some of the best days of my life

Holden has been spending most nights at Aubrey’s, so I have Daisy in my bed for a few hours before she eventually goes back to her place. We’ve promised one another that we’re going to stick to the rules and so far, we have… for the most part. Even when everything in me has wanted to pull her back into my bed and go to sleep with her warm body against mine, I’ve stayed strong. When I wake up in the morning, Daisy is still the first person I want to talk to.

The only thing that has helped me from breaking our rules is knowing that Daisy is mine—at least until she leaves. And god, do I love having all her attention on me.

Daisy and I have been inseparable, spending all our free time together. We hide away at one of our houses and snuggle on the couch and watch movies when we have a place to ourselves. We take drives to the next town over where we won’t be seen, and we go for early morning walks along the beach. It still annoys me to no end that she spends her days with Dr. Dick at the clinic, but she’s made it pretty clear that there was never an attraction there for her. It doesn’t mean I don’t wish that he would pack up and start a new practise in North Dakota.

When I’m not with Daisy, I’m with the team. I watch an hour or two of tapes every day with Jesse, and after the guys are finished in the weight room, I go in and workout in peace and quiet. I’ll slip on my headphones and try to focus on weights, but the championship game is always on my mind. In three weeks, we’ll play our final game of the season.

Tonight is Christmas Eve, which means Daisy and I are at my parents’ place for dinner. It’s been a tradition for as long as I can remember. Of course, our families have no idea that anything’s going on between us, so we are keeping our distance. It’s so fucking hard to be in the same room as Daisy and not be able to touch her. Whenever it feels like nobody is watching, I try to catch her eye, and we exchange a private look that is meant for only us. Just that one look is enough to keep going, even though it feels like being this far away from her might kill me. I’ve kept my hands to myself all night, my willpower being put to the test.

“Is it time to open our presents yet?” my sister asks, nodding to the 9-foot Christmas tree in the corner of the room as she flops down onto the couch next to Daisy. The entire house is decorated, stockings hung, and my mom’s favorite Michael Bublé Christmas CD drifts through the built-in speakers.

“You’re like a giant 5-year-old, Addy,” I tell her, shaking my head.

“I just like Christmas.”

“You just like presents,” I counter.

She grins. “You may have a point.”

Every year we do a Secret Santa and this year I drew Jonathan’s name. Easy as pie. The guy likes to golf, so I splurged and bought him a range finder and a box of Pro V1 golf balls.

“Let’s do it, who wants to go first?” my mom asks, setting her glass of eggnog on the coffee table. We’re all in the living room: Mom and Dad, Uncle Randy and Aunt Victoria, Daisy, Addy, Jonathan and me.

“I think we should let Addy open her gift,” Jonathan says as he takes a box from underneath the tree and hands it to my sister. “Before she implodes.”

Addy hugs the shoebox-sized package to her chest, then motions for Jonathan to sit next to her on the couch as she slips the bow from the gift. She looks excitedly at her husband when she finds a smaller box hidden inside the larger one, then opens it to reveal a pair of diamond earrings. “Jonathan! These are beautiful,” she says with her hand over her heart. He gazes back at her like he knew she was going to love them.

It makes me wish I could put a smile on Daisy’s face like the one on Addy’s. The thought surprises me. Daisy and I aren’t even dating, but lately I often catch myself thinking about her as if we are in a relationship.

We go around our little circle, everyone taking their turn to open a present, until the only person who hasn’t given their gift to someone is Daisy. She stands in front of me with a box tied with a green ribbon, her eyes twinkling as she hands it to me. I meet her eyes, conscious of the fact that everyone in the room is now looking at us.

“Merry Christmas, Tuck. I couldn’t resist!” Daisy sits back down on the couch as I unwrap the present.

I laugh as I unwrap the tissue paper to reveal a pair of pajamas with my face printed all over them. “Wow. I know I’m pretty popular around Reed Point, but I had no clue they make jammies with my face on them.”

“Who knew?” Daisy shrugs, indulging me as I stand and hold up the set for the others to see.

“These are the best. I’m never taking them off.”

“Not a good look,” Addy teases. “Daisy, he’s full of himself as it is, do we really need to encourage him?”

“Hey, Dais, what did you pay for those?” Jonathan jokes. “I may need to get myself a pair.”

“Not if you ever want to sleep with me again.” Addy gets up, collecting the wrapping paper from the floor while I walk over to Daisy and wrap her in a big hug. Then I remember we have an audience and back away quickly.

After the gift exchange, the eight of us play a game of Rummikub before calling it a night. It’s eleven o’clock when Daisy’s parents head home. Addy and Jonathan don’t last much longer, saying goodnight and going upstairs to my sister’s old bedroom after helping my mom tidy up. My sister and I are staying at my parent’s house like we do every Christmas Eve and Daisy is staying next door with her family.

My parents are busy in the kitchen, so I slip out and quietly sneak up behind Daisy as she looks for her jacket in the closet. I run my fingers softly through her hair because every time I do, she makes this moaning sound that my dick loves to hear . With my lips at the shell of her ear, I whisper, “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

She spins around to face me, her cheeks flush. “Don’t you dare,” she says, unconvincingly.

“Just one kiss.” I grab her by her hips and grind my cock against her center. She’s fighting a smile as her arms move to my chest, playfully pushing me away.

“Behave,” she warns.

“What if I don’t want to?”

She shakes her head, linking her pinky finger softly in mine. Quietly, so only I can hear, she whispers against my cheek, “Make it quick, Tuck.”

Her eyes settle on mine, and I stare into them before taking her cheek in my hand leaning in to kiss her. I groan against her mouth as I’m backing away. “Night, rebel.”

“Night, coach.”

I watch her walk across the lawn making sure she gets home then I walk upstairs to my bedroom. For a minute, it feels a lot like it did when we were kids.

I strip out of my clothes, brush my teeth and climb into my old bed, lying under the blue and black buffalo plaid comforter staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Everything in the room seems to remind me of Daisy. Leaning against the wall is the surfboard I taught her how to surf on. In a frame next to a few of my high school trophies is a picture of a sunset I took in Hawaii; Daisy was sitting on the beach next to me when I pulled out my phone and focused on the orange and red sky. And then there’s the window where I used to sneak out and meet her by the pool.

Looking around, I’m reminded that so many of my memories involve Daisy. So much of my life belongs to her. So does my heart. How did I ever last 10 years without talking to her? It seems impossible.

I sit up in bed, my heart jackhammering beneath my ribcage as I reach for my phone.

I need to see Daisy.

Me: Are you still up?

Daisy: Can’t sleep either?

Me: Nah. What are you doing?

Daisy: Staring at the clock on the wall. It’s forty-three seconds to Christmas.

I look at the time on the screen of my phone and wait until the numbers change to 12 o’clock.

Me: Merry Christmas, beautiful. Meet me by the pool.

I smile when she messages me back within seconds.

Daisy: Merry Christmas!

Daisy: We can’t be seen together, and it’s freezing out.

I know she’s right, and I hate it. I hate that it feels like Daisy is some sort of filthy secret, but I have to be honest: I like having her as only mine. What we have is all ours.

Me: Be a good girl for me, rebel. Put a jacket on and meet me at the side of the pool house. 5 minutes.

When she doesn’t respond, I know she’ll be there, so I throw on my new pajama pants and a sweatshirt and my jacket. I step into my slides and grab my baseball hat from my dresser. Before I quietly leave my bedroom, I stuff the gift I bought Daisy last week inside of my jacket, then I slip out the back door and wait for her like old times.

Daisy

Tucker is standing outside in a black puffer jacket and the pajama pants I bought him, his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his coat to keep them warm. It’s freezing outside, the concrete patio sparkling like diamonds under a layer of frost that is illumined by the string of Edison lights his parents left on. It’s beautiful. The night feels magical. When he notices me, his blue eyes sparkle and a small smile curves at his lips.

My eyes flicker to the pool, a place that holds so many memories for me as I cross the yard. When I stop in front of him, my heart takes flight, but I try not to let it show. When he leans in, brushing his lips over the corner of my mouth, I think I may spontaneously combust. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I would be standing here being kissed by Tucker Collins at midnight on Christmas morning. Tingles run up my spine.

But then I remember none of this real. It’s just a pact. Nothing more.

“Hi. Nice pajama pants.”

“I told you I’m never taking them off.” Tucker smirks. “I’m going to need you to order me three more pairs, so I have a rotation.”

“Oh my God.” I roll my eyes, but inwardly I’m a mess for this man.

“Come here.” He crooks a finger. “You look cold,” he whispers, reaching for me and pulling me closer. His arms wrap around me as if he’s eager to hold me, his lips are against my temple. “I’ll warm you up.”

Our bodies are so close, but it’s not enough. Somehow, I’ve become addicted to him. I wish we could shed every layer of clothing separating us, but I know this is just a quick hello. That’s all it can be, with our families nearby.

“So, I have something for you.”

I pull back, tilting my head to one side. “You do?”

“It’s just something small, but I hope you’ll like it.”

“Tucker, you didn’t need to—“

“Daisy,” he stops me. “I know I didn’t need to, but I wanted to.”

He releases his hold on me and bends down to pick up a box with a black ribbon that is leaning against the pool house. I was so focused on him that I guess I missed it.

“For you,” he says, a look of anticipation on his face. “Open it.”

I slip the bow from the box and unwrap it, then pull out a green and gold Outlaws jersey, a white number 20 and his last name, Collins, outlined in gold on the back.

“Tucker,” I stammer as my fingers glide over the material. “The number 20, for my birthday—"

“Our birthday,” he says. “I know it’s kinda silly, but I wasn’t sure what other number to put on there. Is it okay?”

I swallow down the emotion lodged in my throat. The gift feels very personal and unexpected, but what’s more unexpected is the realization in this moment that what I told myself I wouldn’t do is actually happening.

I’m falling for him.

It’s overwhelming, and scary, and I immediately remind myself that these feelings are probably one-sided. But I can unpack all of these emotions and worries later. For now, I want to allow myself to just be here in this moment with Tucker.

“I love it. And I love that you chose our birthday. It means a lot to me. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He beams, and my heart beats out of my chest, reminding me that it belongs to him.

I’m in so much trouble.

Whatever this is between us, there is a deadline on it and the clock is ticking. What will I do when our pact ends? I’ll be left to clean up what’s left of a broken heart. I’ll be ruined for good.

But it still doesn’t make me want to stop.

When it feels like we’re beginning to press our luck being out here alone, I tell him I need to go. Before I leave, I stand on my toes to press a kiss on his mouth. Tucker deepens it, stroking his tongue against mine. I practically melt into the kiss, savouring the feel of his lips against mine. I inhale his scent that is so uniquely him, the smell of pine like an addiction to me now. Reluctantly, I tear myself away from him and walk across the darkened backyard back to my parents’ house before I allow myself to fall any harder.

These feelings for Tucker snuck up on me, but there’s no avoiding them now. I am way too far gone to pretend that he’s a friend and nothing more. Everything about the two of us is temporary, but for some reason, I can’t keep from holding on for dear life.