Never Say Never (Haven Harbor #3)

Chapter 30

THIRTY

SHE’S YOUR END GAME

T ucker

“Collins.” Holden snaps a finger in front of my face.

I rip my attention from my screen and the photo Daisy sent me a few days ago. “What do you want?”

“Geez,“ Holden says. “You okay?”

I don’t even know why I just snapped at him. I am clearly not okay.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I asked you if you wanted to get burgers tonight.”

He gets up from the kitchen table and rinses off his plate before putting it in the dishwasher. “You’ve been in a shit mood for days, man. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

No one bothered to tell me that being in a long-distance relationship is fucking hard. I’m only six weeks into this and I’m not sure if I’m going to make it. I’m tired of counting down days on a calendar. I’m tired of missing Daisy. Holden is right. I’ve been in a shit mood and even I can’t stand myself.

“I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Well, too bad, because you’re going to,” he says, taking the chair beside me. “You sat me down not too long ago to get me through my shit. So now it’s your turn to talk.”

I groan, pulling my baseball cap a little lower over my eyes. “You’re not going to go away, are you?”

“Nope.” Holden crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows. “Is it Daisy or your dad?”

“Fine,” I say, accepting the fact that I am not going to win this battle. “It’s Daisy.”

The last time we talked was three days ago, before she boarded a sailboat to cruise the Tyrrhenian Sea for four days. It wasn’t a great call. She sensed something was wrong when I was quieter than usual, but I didn’t have it in me to tell her I had run into my dad, and he was a total dick. It happened at Dream Bean when I was picking up my morning coffee, so thankfully he couldn’t make a scene. But he didn’t have to blow up at me to get under my skin. Telling me that I was the reason his relationship with Daisy’s parents was strained was enough to piss me off. But I didn’t want to rehash it with Daisy, not when I knew it would put a damper on her trip.

“So, the common denominator here is your dad,” Holden says after I finish telling him everything.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“And you’re a softie for your girl.”

“That too.”

“First things first… work it out with him. I know it sucks, but you’re going to have to talk again,” Holden says. “You’re the better man. I say you go over there and see if you can hash it out.”

I know Holden’s heart is in the right place, but what could I say to my dad at this point that would make him see that I’m not the guy he thinks I am? Besides, do I even care what he thinks? I’ve always been a disappointment in his eyes. I doubt that will ever change.

I know for damn sure when I have a child of my own—and for some fucked up reason the idea of that with Daisy keeps crossing my mind— I will love that kid unconditionally. And they will love me back. I will earn that love every day of their life.

“I hate seeing you sulk like this. This isn’t you, man.”

Holden is right. This isn’t me. But this long-distance thing is bullshit.

“She’s your end game, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is.”

“Aw, Collins. My boy here is in love,” Holden teases, ruffling my hair. “So sweet.”

“Idiot,” I groan. “Are you done with your pep talk now?”

Holden laughs, sliding off his bar stool. ”Yeah, I’m done. Wanna run?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

I change into shorts and an old T-shirt and meet Holden by the front door. After I’ve laced up my tennis shoes, I check my phone for a message from Daisy. Nothing. Instead, I stare at the lock screen photo on my iPhone: a selfie Daisy and I took on one of our beach walks. I’m standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her, and I’m kissing her cheek. She looks so beautiful it makes my chest hurt.

Maybe if my dad understood that Daisy really is it for me, that she’s the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, he’d realize why I’m not backing down.

Holden and I head out for our run, and I pour all of my frustration and anger into the pavement. Back at our place, I have a shower and change into a sweatshirt and jeans, and then man up and do what I need to do. I drive to my parents’ house and knock on their front door.

My mom opens the door and immediately pulls me into her arms. “Tucker, you have no idea how good it is to see you. How’s my baby?”

“It’s good to see you too, Mom,” I say, kissing the top of her head. “I’m okay.”

“How’s training camp?”

“It’s fine. How are you doing?

“I’m okay, honey. I’ve missed seeing you around here.” I hear the hurt in her voice. “I wish things weren’t the way they are.”

My jaw clenches. I wish that too.

“Is Dad here?”

“In his office. Do you want me to—“

“No, Mom, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll make a pot of tea then. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” I walk down the hall toward my dad’s office. Memories of kissing Daisy up against the door months ago flash through my mind. Our first kiss after a decade of barely talking. At the time, it was just a kiss—an unbelievable kiss, but nothing more than that. The beginning of our pact. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything. But here we are, together. What we have is real, and I need my father to know that I intend on keeping it that way.

I tense up as soon as I see him. When I open the door, my dad looks up from his computer but looks away again when he sees that it’s me. He isn’t going to make this easy, but this time I’m not going to run away.

Neither of us move or say a word, and the silence is deafening. I walk further into the room, sinking into the chair opposite his desk. The confidence I felt driving over here starts to fade.

Man up, Tucker. Tell him how you feel.

I’m going to marry her one day. I’m not sure what my future exactly looks like, but I know it includes her. He needs to get used to us being together.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, Dad,” I start, jutting my chin out. “But I won’t apologize for loving Daisy.”

His focus doesn’t leave his computer screen, but I do catch the subtle way his fingers grip the pen in his hand a little tighter.

“We need to talk, Dad. I love her. I’ve never loved anything or anyone as much as I love her. She’s it for me.”

My dad drops the pen to the desk before he leans back in his leather chair. Finally, his eyes meet mine.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes.” This is the first time I’ve been able to tell him that I’m in love with Daisy, because I had wanted her to hear it from me first.

“That’s… surprising. You’ve never loved anything but football.”

“And that’s always been a problem for you,” I counter. His expression doesn’t change, but I see the tension in his jaw. “You’ve never been able to accept me for who I am, Dad. You wanted your son to take over your firm, but that was your dream, not mine.”

Something breaks in my chest. I’ve never said those words out loud to him, but there they are, hanging in the air between us. They are the reason my dad and I have never got along. The reason my dad can hardly stand me.

“You’re right. I was disappointed. I built that firm with my own two hands, my blood, sweat and tears. I wanted you to love it just as much as I do.”

“But I never wanted that, and I never made that a secret.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Are you ever going to get over that? Because you should.”

I don’t ever want to have this conversation again so I’m leaving everything I need to on the table, hoping maybe we can come to sort of truce.

“You weren’t an easy kid, Tucker. If I came down hard on you it was only to teach you a lesson. I did what I thought was best for you.”

I grind my molars together. What had I ever done to disappoint him so much? I was a kid. I skipped class. I stayed out past curfew. I back-talked from time to time. But I followed my own path, and I have built a good life for myself: A career that I love, great friends, and a girl that I’m crazy about. Why does he refuse to see it?

“But maybe I was too harsh.” He stares at me for a long moment. “I’m sorry. I think it’s time I told you that, Tuck.”

The enormity of his words almost knocks me off my chair. I swallow hard. This is the first time he has ever apologized to me. I wait to see if he has anything more to say, but the fact of the matter is that is all I’ve ever needed to hear.

“I watched you win the championship game,” he says, scrubbing his jaw. “You made me proud. I’m damn proud of you, Tucker.”

I’m almost rendered speechless, but I manage to get out a response. “Thank you.” I exhale. “Can you also accept that I am in love with Daisy?”

He nods. “I can. It just took me off guard. It’ll take some getting used to, but… if the two of you are happy, and it’s serious that’s all that matters. But, Tucker, I will always think of her as my own. That won’t change.”

“I wouldn’t want it to.”

I reach for his hand. “We’re good?”

“We’re good,” he responds, taking my hand in his, pulling me in for an awkward hug over his desk.

I move toward the door but stop before leaving the room. “I never thanked you for coming to my game,” I tell him.

“Not necessary, son. It was my pleasure.”

I swallow the knot in my throat. “Thanks.”

I leave wanting to tell Daisy everything that just happened, so as soon as I get into my truck, I dig out my phone and click on her name. I type out a message, then delete it all. Fuck, I hate texting. She’s on a boat without cell service and she won’t see the damn message for another day anyways. And I want to tell her in person, in a face-to-face conversation, which is hard when she’s a million fucking miles away.

I am so done with the distance between us.

So, instead of sending her a text, I open my browser and search flights to Italy.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m heading home to pack.