Never Stop

4. Via

Chapter four

Via

2017

" V , are you still there?"

"Yeah," my voice shakes as I listen to the chaos unfolding outside these walls that I'd like to pretend are keeping me safe, but I know that's just a facade. Nothing can protect me from this reality.

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise…" Ander sighed, and I could basically feel his frustration with Liam and my parents radiating through the phone. "I'm on my way to see you. I wanted to surprise you. I'm almost there—"

"How? You have work!" I cut him off.

"I took care of it, baby. I needed to see you. I miss you, and I'm not missing your birthday. I never miss your birthday. I sure as hell am not starting now." Emotions are pouring in, and a slight smile pulls at the corner of my lips. Ander always goes above and beyond to make me feel special.

"Ander. . ." I say his name with a smile, unsure what to say to express how he makes me feel inside.

Like I'm. . . Important. Worthy. Loveable.

You know, the things I never felt from my own family. Just the thought causes a tear to spring to my eye, but I hold it back.

"I'm not coming there if he's there, V. I can't promise I'll be able to hold back if he's on one of his typical war paths, and you don't need more shit today. Grab Natalie and meet us at Izzy's house. I brought Jett and Abbie with me. Jett wants to see Izzy, and Abbie is excited to see Natty."

I release a breath, and that trader tear falls from my grasp, so I swat it away quickly.

"I love you, Ander."

"I love you too, Rosie. I'll see you soon."

We end the call, and I breathe before opening the bathroom door. The screaming match is still happening in the rest of the house, and I'm not looking forward to it, but I need to check on Natty and get her out of here.

As I walk out of the hallway bathroom, I notice the mess instantly. Broken dishes are scattered throughout the kitchen, and spaghetti is painted against the walls.

Liam has my dad pinned to the far left wall of the dining area just off the kitchen. He's in our dad's face, yelling so loudly that I can't even make out the incoherent words that he's spewing. Liam has Dad's hands pinned and his body pressed against him. Dad is fighting against Liam's hold on him, but Liam is so wound up that he doesn't seem to be phased by Dad's resistance.

My mom stands behind Liam, pulling at his arms and yelling at him, trying to get him to free my dad from his grasp. As the seconds tick by, her screams grow louder, piercing through the already present tension in the air.

I suck in a deep breath to steady myself, disgusted at the sights before me.

I step closer, and Liam's and my Dad's words to each other become more distinguishable. Liam is in his face and still has him pinned, but my dad isn't backing down.

"Son, I have had it with your shit!" My dad yells.

Liam's face morphs into a maniacal grin as if he's enjoying this.

"My shit? I need money! I'm your son, aren't I? Or that's what you like to pretend. Aren't parents supposed to help their children?"

Their fights are always over money. My parents cut Liam off financially and stopped giving to him a while back when they realized they were only supporting his habits and not helping him. Liam hasn't made it easy. This is typically how it goes until one of them gives in and gives him his way. Hence why, it continues.

Since Liam has moved out on his own, he's taken up drugs and jail as his favorite pastime. My parents have finally been introduced to the side of Liam that he reserved for only me for so long.

His anger is no longer only my burden to take on. We are all receptive to his verbal and physical outbursts now. I hate it for all of us, but I hate it mainly for my sister Natty. I promised myself I'd take on all his anger to save her.

I wish this meant my parents finally saw the damage this had caused me over the years, but they couldn't be more blind.

I love them, I genuinely do, but I am so angry at them for their willful ignorance.

They now see Liam's true colors and don't know how to handle who he is, which only causes more conflict between them. The arguing, screaming, and discomfort in the air are now nonstop in this house.

Most days, I wish I could take Natty and get far away from all of them. I wish I could give her the comfort and quiet life that neither of us has ever been granted but very well deserves.

I remember a time when life with my family was some version of what most would consider normal. There was a time when happiness would visit here, but that happiness rarely appears since Natty's birth brought out the worst in Liam. He sucked it out like the leach that he is.

Unfortunately, Natty doesn't have many happy memories that she can recall. Of all the things I wish I could change about my life, that's got to be the main one. I wish I could help to show her a brighter life.

"You've drained us dry, Liam! We have nothing left to give you!" My mom screams in his ear as she swats at his back.

Liam releases his hold on my dad and swings around, slapping our mother across the face and knocking her to the floor. My dad is quick to respond and pounces Liam to the ground.

The dumb part of me wants to swoop in and attempt to help them—at least check to see if my mom is okay—but I can't. I know, all too well, what happens when you get in Liam's way.

I can't even watch it anymore. I need to find Natty and get her out of here.

Spinning on my heels, I run frantically searching for Natty. When Liam's violence first began to pour over onto them, instead of strictly just onto me, I made Natty promise me that she would run and hide every time he got out of hand. No matter what she heard, she was to hide until I could find her. We spent a weekend going through the house and property to find spots where she could fit in. She's almost eleven now, but she's still tiny and can fit herself into some unassuming places that easily camouflage her.

The only downside is that I never know which spot she will be in, and it sometimes takes me a while to find her.

I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time. As I swing around the railing at the top and begin running the long hallway, I hear the yelling downstairs start to subside. I gulp. That can either be a good thing or a bad thing.

Liam could be leaving now. Or…

"Natty!" I whisper-shout into the hall as I run toward her bedroom door.

I open her door and instantly notice that nothing looks out of place, but I know better. If she had gone to another spot on the property, I would have heard the screen door to the outside shut. She's in here. I can feel it.

"Natty, it's me. It's okay." I whisper.

Peering around her room, I notice a slight movement under her tower of stuffed animals in the corner. It's like a stuffed animal jail, basically, that my dad built for me and that I gave to her. The movement was so subtle that I would have missed it if I had not been paying attention.

I walk up to it and begin frantically removing the animals. I need to get to her.

I finally remove enough to where I can see her curled up into a ball in the corner, and her body is shaking with sobs.

"Natty,"

She glances up at me, and my heart breaks a little more once her eyes meet mine. Her green eyes are bloodshot. Her puffy red cheeks are stained with tears, and she's wearing a look of despair that I am all too familiar with.

She stands up and slowly climbs through the rope bars. As she does, she falls to the floor at my feet. I swoop in next to her, pulling her into me.

I want to rush her, tell her we need to hurry and leave before he has the chance to come looking for us, but I know this feeling. I've lived this feeling, and I've lived through it alone. I can't let her feel alone.

I hold her there for a few minutes, not speaking, just wiping her tears away as they fall.

We don't always need words to feel comforted. Sometimes, we need to know that someone else has us and is willing to walk through the darkness with us so that we aren't alone.

I'll always have her.

"I hate him." She says, her voice so soft, but the pain she feels inside penetrates each word.

I nod against her shoulder. "I know. I do, too."

She shakes her head, gently pulls out of my grasp, and stands to her feet.

I stand next to her and put my hands on her shoulders as I try to get her to look at me.

"Let's go! Izzy is waiting for us. Ander, Abbie, and Jett are there. You can go hang out with Abbie. We need to get out of here." I say frantically as I grab her overnight bag, rummage through her dresser, and throw clothes into it.

It's normal for us to go to Izzy's house after Liam's outbursts. My parents never fight us on going. They're usually too mentally exhausted to protest, and I think they appreciate me trying to keep Natty's mind off of all this shit.

"I'm not leaving."

Her words hit me like a Mac truck.

"What?" I ask, spinning to face her. She is sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at me head-on, but she looks deflated.

"I don't want to leave this time."

"Natalie!"

She shakes her head, wipes her tears as she stands, and heads for her bedroom door.

"I'm fine. Anyway, I think he left. It's quiet now. I want to go check on Mom and Dad."

I nod. She's my clone. Once her mind is set on something, there's no changing it. I could fight her on it, but it would be useless.

I drop her bag on the floor and hurry to chase her down the stairs.

"If you don't want to go, we can stay. I'll call Ander—"

"No!" She shouts as she spins to face me, and a soft, sympathetic smile graces her face.

"Go! I'll be fine. It's your birthday."

I scoff, "You know I'm not leaving you here. He could come back. You know he probably will. He always does."

She nods. "So, I'll hide again. Don't I always?" She raises a challenging eyebrow at me.

I let out a sigh, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

I hate leaving her, but I can't stay here.

Ander came all this way to see me, and god, I fucking miss him. I need to get out of here. I need to be with him. I need peace. A peace that only he can bring.

"Do you promise?"

Natty nods. "Duh," and I'm blessed with a theatrical eye roll.

I can't help but chuckle. She is so feisty; I love that about her. I bring her in for one last hug, and I plant a kiss on her hair.

"If you change your mind, call me or Izzy, and one of us will come get you!"

"Okay, now go!" She says with a smile. She continued downstairs, and with an ache in my heart about leaving her behind, I ran to my room and packed my own bag.