Chapter fourteen
Ander
S ix years.
It's been six fucking years of complete radio silence, and now, she's here in front of me. Damn, she looks even more beautiful than I remember. How is that even possible? I look her over, completely stunned.
I didn't want to come on this date. This isn't my thing. Now, I don't even know what to think.
By the look on Via's face and judging by Izzy's outburst when they spotted me with Maverick, they were both just as surprised as I was. Before I can process what's happening, Via excuses herself and takes off. Izzy runs behind her.
I narrow my gaze to Maverick before dropping my head with a sigh.
Clearly confused, Maverick finally breaks the silence, which he's really good at doing.
"So, I take it you and Via know each other?" His tone tries to add humor but now isn't the time. My mind keeps going over the look on her perfect face.
It was clear. Seeing me pained her. How couldn't it? I'm a reminder of the worst night of her life—the night she lost everything and her entire world changed.
Damn, if she only knows what seeing her does to me. Not only is she more beautiful than ever, but before she saw me, she looked so happy.
I find peace in that, but it kills me that seeing me hurts her. I would have given anything to change that and be with her. I'd be lying if I said my anger wasn't brewing beneath the surface.
"Yeah, man, we did."
"Wait," he interrupts himself with a gasp, clearly trying to piece everything together.
"Are you the guy? The beach house guy? That's the only guy Via or Izzy have ever told me about that Via has dated or had any feelings towards. Don't tell me—"
"Yeah, I'm the fucking guy. I told you I didn't want to come on a damn date, but the last thing I expected was this shit."
"Holy fuck!" He shouts a little too loud, causing some looks to get thrown our way.
"Dude, what are the odds!" Now Maverick is the one laughing uncomfortably.
My eyes shoot up to meet his, and I know my glare says precisely what I'm thinking; ' no shit .'
I shake my head and run my hands up and down my face, still trying to wrap my mind around what happened.
"Look, man, I guess thanks for trying, but I'm gonna go," I say, trying not to sound as bummed out and pissed off as I feel.
The one that 'got away,' that I had to force myself to come to terms with and that I'd never see again, literally just stormed back into my thoughts as if my pathetic attempts at impossibly forgetting her the first time weren't hard enough.
Before I can start to pity myself, I need to get the fuck out of here.
I made her a promise that was stupid as hell, and I never wanted to make it. She forced my hand, as she so often did, and I don't break my promises—not to her.
"Bear, Via is a hard nut to crack; she probably just needs a minute,"
I scoff at him and throw a scowl his way, "If by a tough nut to crack you mean the most headstrong, stubborn ass woman I've ever met in my life, then yes, I know well that she's a tough nut to crack." I want to add so much more.
She's also the only person who ever set my soul on fire, and since she left my life, I haven't been the same. Although I'm still bitter, I miss her so fucking much. I pull my hat off, run a hand through my hair, and place my hat back on. Then I pull some cash from my wallet and put it on the table.
"Just get her meal on me, but don't tell her because I doubt she'll accept it."
Before I can pull myself to stand, he asks, "What's the story there?" His tone isn't judgmental. He sounds and seems genuinely concerned.
I arch my brows at Maverick. Now I'm the one confused.
"I thought you said the girls told you the story. " My annoyance is evident in my voice.
He laughs. "Them? Nah, man, those two don't dish out much information regarding Via. All I know about you and Via is that she's only ever loved one guy. Izzy is always on her ass to put herself out there and try again, but she always refuses. They've never actually given details." He lets out a small, awkward laugh again, "This is the closest we've ever gotten her to going on a date. I may not be the smartest fucker out there, but I could tell by the way you both just locked eyes. . . that you're the guy ."
'She's only ever loved one guy.'
The words repeat themself over and over again in my head. The reality of that pierces me. She pushed me away. She promised me forever, and then our worlds blew up in flames, especially hers.
I tried.
I fucking tried. She didn't let me. I never got over that.
Hell, I'll never get over her .
I get lost in my thoughts for a bit, and Maverick brings that to an abrupt stop when he presses, "So, what's the story?"
I sigh. I work with the guy, and he's one of my closest friends on the job. He's persistent as fuck. It's a little annoying, but he means well. He won't stop until he gets an answer. I'm not escaping this conversation either way, but fuck, I don't want to have it. I damn sure would rather have it here than at work with others peering in, though.
"You know about her parents and sister?" I ask reluctantly.
"Yeah," he says with a nod.
"It was her eighteenth birthday. I convinced her to run off with me to the island. Her parents and sister went looking for her because she was supposed to be at Izzy's house. They got in an accident while searching. Had I not gotten her to leave with me, the accident may have never happened. They may all still be here. I still blame myself. She completely cut me off and made me promise to leave her alone and never try to see her again. So, it wasn't hard to assume she blamed me, too."
Maverick doesn't miss a beat before speaking, "Damn, bro, that's heavy, but that's not on you or her."
Saying the words out loud is reopening the wound that I thought was finally healing, and it's when the ache in my chest becomes unbearable that I decide that I can't be here another second.
What the fuck was I thinking that a blind date was a good idea. I should have known better. Just when I think I'm okay, there's always some reminder of her to prove to me that I'm just getting better at playing fucking pretend.
I've tried dating again. My heart and head are never in it; I think they'll always be tied up with what I lost and can't have.
My sister Abbie convinced me to try a stupid dating app. I met Jessica a week after signing up. I never put a title on it, as I wasn't interested in that with her. We would hook up every so often. It was fine while it lasted, but she couldn't fill the void.
She wanted more, but I didn't. It was evident when we started that it was just sex. I don't understand women that think they can fuck their way to a guy's heart. Jessica acted as if having no chemistry other than sexual chemistry was irrelevant and didn't matter as long as the sex was good; she kept hope that things could evolve. That's not how it works, at least not for me. At one point, she told my family we were together. That was an awkward conversation and, ultimately, why I walked away.
I stand to leave. Maverick stands, too. The look on his face shows me that he's still trying to process everything I just unleashed on him. I put a hand out to shake his, and he accepts it and pulls me into a short-lived hug as he pats my back.
I turn to walk away, but I look back at him before I do.
"I only loved one girl, too. Tell her I'm sorry that I broke her promise. I never want to hurt her."
With that, I leave and don't look back.