Never Stop

20. Via

Chapter twenty

Via

I open the door to find Anders' handsome body filling the door frame.

Seeing him initially was a lot to take in. He really isn't a boy anymore. Nothing about the man before me is boyish.

Seeing him in the light of day gives me a new appreciation for the male form. I take my time taking in the sight of him. Oh, how my eyes have missed being graced with his presence, which, there's no denying, has gotten even better over time.

Ander has always been a bigger guy. Stocky. He's not overly muscular like a bodybuilder, but he's always been defined but not necessarily chiseled. His frame and height alone are attractive, but then there's that face. It's hard to see his perfect jawline now with his newfound manly-looking facial hair, but I love it. I've never had a thing for beards, but on him, it's perfect. He has this rough and tough southern look about him, and his baseball cap only amplifies that.

I can't help but softly bite down on my lip as I soak him in.

As if he could read my mind, he lets out a small chuckle with the same soft, sly smile he's always had for me. I feel my cheeks blush instantly. I take a step back, open the door wider, and motion my hand towards my kitchen.

"Come on in," I say as I turn to walk in further, expecting Ander to follow behind me.

I'm stopped short.

As I turned away from him, I could hear him push off the door frame where he was standing, and then I could hear a quick shuffle of his feet. Before I know it, his hands are gently grazing over my hips, and I'm currently stuck in place. My feet are rooted here now.

He doesn't do anything else right away. Out of instinct, as an instant reaction, my head softly falls and rolls back as I shut my eyes, take in his touch, and revel in it.

I asked him to come here for a conversation and apologize for everything. I wanted another opportunity to get to know him and who he is now. His touch shouldn't still do this to me after so long without it. It's as if my body has longed for him just as my heart and mind have.

There have been a few men in the years in between. None that I've dated or actually gave any of myself to. The few that I've been with were all just a way to get a sexual release, but none of them have made me feel anything. It's especially nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now with just the simple touch of Ander's hands on me. The things this man does to me are indescribable.

He slowly closes the small gap between us, and his hands move from the curve of my hips and wrap around my waist, pulling me into him tightly. My head falls even further backward, landing on his shoulder. I can feel his cool breath brush past my hair and fall onto my neck, right below my ear.

Instinctively, as if no time has passed, my hands get a mind of their own. They wrap around his arms, pulling him in even tighter to me. We both exhale a sharp breath at the same time, and I melt into him. We stay like this for a beat, and I love it. My mind isn't overthinking—it's letting me enjoy—for the first time in a long time. I just want to soak him in for as long as I possibly can.

After a while of standing tangled up in one another like this, Anders's grasp around my waist loosens, and his hands are back on my hips. His fingers draw circles over my clothes, but I feel it all the same. My breath hitches, unsure what will come next.

I can feel his breath on my neck, and his lips nearly graze my skin. He speaks directly into my ear.

"Look at me, Rosie." He speaks softly, yet his voice is strong and confident. Demanding and kind, all wrapped into one, his voice does even more to my body than his touch has done so far, which is unfathomable. As his name for me leaves his lips, his hands direct my hips to turn and face toward him.

I gulp.

I'm vulnerable right now and feel pretty damn weak to the temptation that is his presence. The difference is that I no longer have the strength to fight against it.

I want him. All of him. I always have. I'm sick of doing what I think is right. Every part of me has missed every single inch of him, and I no longer have the strength to fight it. I'm not quite sure that even if I did, I would want to.

As our eyes meet, that same grin he's always had with me dances across his lips. The grin displays the same amount of seductiveness as it does confidence. That's something that has always drawn me to Ander. His confidence isn't just cocky but assuring. He's not a guy that thinks the world of himself, but he knows his worth, and he radiates big dick energy in the best ways. I can tell by the way his eyes are piercing through me that he's trying to get a read on me and wondering what I'm thinking.

His arms return around my waist, and he pulls me in close. Our eyes are still locked, and I can feel our hearts beating to the same swift beat.

He breaks eye contact as he leans in, using one of his hands to brush a strand of hair out of my face. Then, he speaks softly, directly into my ear again. The feeling of his breath hitting my skin erupts goose bumps across my body, sending tingles down between my legs.

"Is this okay, Via? Say the word, and I—" He looks into my eyes almost shyly, but for only a split second.

Before he can finish that sentence and I have the opportunity to overthink it, I pull out of his grip. My hands grab his shoulders, then wrap my arms around his neck. I hike a leg up, attempting to wrap myself around him. He quickly realized what I was trying to do and didn't miss a beat.

Before I know it, his hand is on my thighs, pulling both legs up, and I wrap them around his waist. I'm wrapped around his tall, sturdy frame. His hands are on my thighs, right below my ass cheeks, supporting me and holding me up onto him. My arms are draped around his neck for support, and one hand knocks his baseball cap off, and my fingers comb through his hair. Our faces are mere inches apart now. Both are still searching each other's eyes for a sign that it's okay to do what we want to do next.

I lean back slightly, certain not to break his gaze.

"Is this okay, Ander,"— Before I can fully get his name out of my mouth, his lips are crashing into mine. As he does, I can feel his leg below us swing backward, and then I hear the door slam shut behind me.

I forgot about the damn door still being wide open.

There is no gentleness about the ways our mouths collide next. There's only want and need, and both are prevalent. I'm not going to lie; the little voice in my head tries to remind me that there are reasons that I pushed him away, reasons that we shouldn't be here together, especially not like this. I shut that bitch up instantly as I deepen the kiss, opening my mouth and letting my tongue explore his. It's mere seconds until he takes over the lead, his tongue caressing mine with such passion and longing. His right hand eases off of my thigh and travels up and down my back below my shirt, his rough, calloused fingers tracing circles on my skin- My skin that reacts to his every touch. His hand travels back down my body, where it feels like it belongs. It returns to my thigh, and his fingers wiggle, teasing their way under my shorts but above my panties. Once his hand is entirely placed on my ass cheek, he squeezes. Hard. Damn, does it feel good. I let out a soft moan, one that he swallows as he takes my mouth with his tongue dancing slow, deep circles around mine. His lips massaging mine each time they meet.

I can tell he likes the sound that he pulled out of me, and he wants to do it again because next, his hand tightens its grip as if to support my grasp around him and to get his own pleasure at the same time. His other hand lets go of my thigh, and he plants a stern smack on my ass, causing a deeper moan mixed with a soft squeal to creep out of me. He swallows that, too. With both his hands on my ass now, one beneath my shorts and one on top of them, he manages to pull me in even closer to him. I wiggle myself slightly down his body, the curves of my body still intertwined with the muscular sturdiness of his. I can feel his length through his jeans pressing against my shorts, right where my pussy is getting wetter by the second for him. He's rock hard and throbbing, and I feel like I'm about to erupt. He pulls me in tighter to him as he lets out a breath that I get to swallow this time—wanting to swallow more than just his breath.

We are so close, leaving room for no space between us. Our tongues dance around one another. Thankfully, my brain shuts off, allowing me to feel for once rather than the abyss of numbness I'm typically subdued to. The moment completely takes me over.

He squeezes my ass a little tighter with the hand that's beneath my shorts. Without warning, I break our kiss, and my head falls to his shoulder below his ear, and a full-blown moan escapes my lips.

That's all it takes.

With that sound, he lets go with me. My legs are still wrapped around him, and we cling to one another as he walks us toward the sofa in my living room.

I hear a rumble of a growl come from him as he speaks, "That's my girl," my head rolls backward off of his shoulder, and my neck is extended in front of him as we both catch our breath, and I let out soft breaths mixed with a moan, out into the air. Still walking, he plants a kiss on my neck and sucks in my skin softly as his tongue caresses over it. He pulls back as he gets to the couch and begins to lay me down below him.

"You've always been my girl and always will be."

As my body meets the soft furniture below me and he releases me from his grasp, he takes his hands and softly pushes my chin up, extending my neck for him again. He plants a kiss right under my chin. He doesn't stop there. He begins to trail kisses slowly down my neck.

Ander is hovering over me, and my legs are still wrapped around his waist. I loosen their grasp around him. I'm guilty of being curious about where he might wander once he's released, and he doesn't disappoint.

My eyes are locked in tight on him. I'm watching him as he pulls back to look at me for approval after each kiss grazes my body. He goes down to the low collar line of my loose-fitting oversized t-shirt. It falls right below my collarbones. His tongue touches my skin and licks along my collarbones. He stops in the middle and plants a kiss, sucking my skin in softly and letting his tongue dance in circles.

FUCK. I'm a goner already.

I am absolute putty in this man's hands. I forget all the pain over the past six years, and I completely let go and let him have me because I want nothing more than to have him.

Letting go isn't something that I do often. If ever. Damn, it feels good. Another moan comes from my lips, and this one isn't soft or quiet in the least bit. This one is needy- begging even- and I can tell he wants and needs this just as badly as I do. He wants me.

He watches me with fire in his eyes, burning rapidly with desire. I gently push him back and grab his shirt's hem, attempting to pull it off him. He takes the lead from me and moves my hands.

I'm taken back, unsure what to make of his pushing my hands away. The doubt almost has time to take over, but before it can, he leans in closer again, still on top of me, and he's tracing a finger along the bottom hem of my top and trailing behind his hand with his tongue to my skin. My eyes don't leave him, and I watch intently. Consumed by him, yet also slightly confused.

He pulls back when he notices my slight shift and leans into me. His body is directly over mine, and our faces are almost touching. I can feel his dick still rock hard through his jeans, pressing against me.

"Via," he rasps my name, voice gravel. I let out a quick breath that I didn't realize I was holding at the sound of hearing him say my name with such passion. He runs his thumb back and forth along my jaw, watching my breath hitch with each stroke before he speaks again.

"I... I-I can't do this." He says with a sigh as his hand falls from my face and his forehead presses to mine.

"W-What!?" I blurt out, confusion and embarrassment painted clear across my features, I'm sure. I push him back to look into his eyes.

"Ander?"

"I only had you once, and we were kids then," oh shit, where is this going. He places a finger over my lips to silence my mind, not just my mouth. Well played, that is a smart move.

"I have dreamed about being with you like this again for over six years." He kisses my lips but doesn't deepen it because he pulls back before there's a chance. He kisses my neck right below my jaw just as he pulls himself off of me a bit to where he's hovering over me again. "We can't do this. Not like this."

He retreats completely, standing now facing away from me. Sexual tension and pure frustration radiate from him. He courses his hands over his face and then through his hair as he begins to pace the floor.

I scoffed as I sat up on the couch, pulling my knees to my chest. Here I am, trying to reopen myself to this man, only to be shut down. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly swat it away as the embarrassment and feeling of rejection sink in deep.

"This was a bad idea," I say, frustrated, as I stand off the couch, pushing past Ander. He grabs my wrist and spins me back into him so we are facing each other. Shaking his head softly to disagree with me, his eyes meet mine, and the sadness wrapped up in the caramel depths is apparent. He doesn't speak a word.

"Asking you to come over. . . I didn't ask you to come over here for this . Maybe you should—"

"Don't finish that damn sentence!" He growls in a low murmur as he wipes away the tears from my cheeks.

"You just admitted you can't do this either. Just go!" I scream as I push at his chest with both hands. Like the wall of fucking muscle that he is, he doesn't flinch an inch.

Bastard .

His jaw ticks, and his eyes flutter close for a split second before they're back on me, piercing into me. He steps toward me, but I hold a hand up to keep him back. He ignores it and pushes my hand away as if it doesn't even phase him.

"I will not be just your fucking hook-up!" His voice is firm and cuts through me as his touch does the same. He places his hands on my shoulders, stilling me in place as he stares into my fucking soul. "Do you hear what I'm saying, V?"

"Loud and clear, now let go of me and leave Ander. This was a mistake!" The sobs are racking my body, and I can't control the shaking of my limbs.

He pulls me to him, and his scent envelopes me as does his warmth, and I feel a sudden comfort. However, I'm too upset and embarrassed to give a shit. I continue to fight his hold, which goes unphased and only pisses me off further.

"I'm not letting you go, damn it. Don't you see?"

"See what, Ander? See what!?"

"That I've never let go of you. I can't let go of you, even when I've fucking tried." His voice is soft as he whispers the words directly into my ear. He pulls me in impossibly closer, and I forfeit my protesting and give in to his embrace as the tears continue to fall.

"You're it for me, Via. You always have been, and god damn it, as much as I want to, I don't want you to give me your body."

I pull back, looking into his eyes again, searching for the words his mouth holds back.

Ander lets out a sigh before continuing.

"I don't deserve to enter your body until I've put in the work to earn your heart and your love first," he says, placing his hand on my chest just above my heart. "I'm not here to get inside of that perfect pussy; I'm here to get back to my home inside of your heart."

Following his explanation, my sobs cease, and my heart flutters at his words. He cups my chin, forcing me to look back up at him, wearing that drop-dead, handsome, devilish grin.

"Oh, you damn smooth talker," I say, chuckling softly and rolling my eyes playfully. Every part of my body softens against him, fitting into his hold like I was made to be there.

Because I was.

The laugh that escapes his perfect mouth is contagious, and before I know it, I'm laughing with him.

"There's no smooth-talking, only facts. I'm not exaggerating when I say my heart needs yours like a candle needs a burning flame, and I've gone without you for far too long. This is it. I don't plan on letting you slip through my fingers again. You're mine." He pulls me in by my waist. Our bodies are so incredibly close that they practically mold into one as we stare into each other's eyes.

"I may be a strong man, but I don't think I'll be strong enough to deny you again. So do me a favor, baby, don't tempt me again until I've earned it." His smug grin grows as he throws me a wink. Rubbing his hands up and down my shoulders, he leans down and kisses my forehead.

"Oh, Ander. I don't even know what to say after that." I admit, my voice is so soft and barely even whispered.

He offers a sweet smile, his eyes soft. "All you have to say is yes. You'll be mine. No more running from what we both know can't be broken."

"I'm yours. I've always been yours."