No Justice for the Damned (Tales from the Tarot)

12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

I ’m trapped in a nightmare. One I can’t escape. But this one is real. Nothing I do can wake me up. I’m going to betray my brother. The one person I love more than anything in this world and I’m going to deliver him to his own doom. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m moving again like a machine, like a robot, forced to do its master’s bidding. I can’t stop my feet from moving—though my mind is sifting and churning, looking for something, anything I can do to prevent this from happening.

All the while, Eli is following close behind me, watching me with eyes like a hungry cat trailing a mouse. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t touch me, just watches. And I’m trapped. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don’t know what to do. What would Hollow do in this situation?

Hollow.

I march forward, pulled by invisible strings, making a beeline toward Delilah.

“Ah, ah, ah, princess.” Eli grips my waist, pulling me back and away from my bike. “Three won’t fit on that pretty thing. We’re taking mine.”

You are to obey him. To follow his every order. No violence is to be used against him. Though I want to kill him, to fight him, I can’t. I physically can’t. Instead, I allow him to lead me around the front of the Church, across the street where his truck is parked. It’s a shining black and from the look of it, rather new. Likely a purchase funded by all his loyal work for Father.

Once we’re upon it, Eli opens the passenger side door for me, cocking a brow to indicate I should get in. It’s high off the ground, a step and a half and as I climb inside, his hands grope my ass as to assist me.

Then, he shuts the door and begins to come around the front.

I have to act quickly.

I slip my hand inconspicuously in my pocket to find my phone. I let it fall to the seat beside me, hidden by my right thigh as I quickly tap out a call to my most recent dial: Hollow.

It rings silently and I don’t know if he answers. I shoot out a silent prayer to whatever god is listening that he answers. Fuck, Hollow. Please answer.

The door opens and Eli seats himself behind the wheel. “We’re going to Abe’s,” I say, directing my gaze at Eli.

“I’m aware of that, sweetheart,” Eli replies, smiling at me.

“I need your help,” I enunciate clearly. “At Abe’s.”

“I’ll help you, baby.” Eli’s big hand slides over my leg, squeezing my thigh, rising higher and higher before it slips in between, rubbing heavily over my cock. He licks his lips as I cringe at the feeling of his warm palm, the way he scours me like he’s hoping for the friction to catch fire.

“I’ll help you. And then I’ll get rewarded, won’t I? Father said I can have you however I want. Once we get that sweet brother of yours back to Daddy, I’ll wear you out. Take you so rough and so hard you’ll be ruined for anyone else.”

I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him. Rage filters through me so potent and so furious, it feels like a ravenous storm inside me. But I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is sit there and take it, looking blankly ahead as Eli finally releases his grip on me and revs his truck into gear.

The ride to Abe’s usually takes about ten minutes with traffic but today, it seems to zip by. Is there any way, any way at all, that Hollow heard my message? That he can get there before us? It’s all hopeless. Completely hopeless. I’m going to betray my brother, take him back to his own demise.

Because Abe can’t fight me. He’s tough, of course he is. I spent the years of our childhood training him and ensuring he could fight. But he’s not up to my caliber, his body hasn’t been toned and shaped into a weapon like mine has. If we fight, I’ll win. He won’t stand a chance. And with Eli fighting beside me, working to further Father’s aims, Abe will be doomed to fail. And more than that, he’ll see me forever as a betrayer, as the one who delivered him to his worst nightmare.

The streets sing by and before I know it, we’re parked outside Abe’s apartment. The shabby building looks like a looming fortress of despair in my mind. I can’t tell if he’s inside but I hope he’s out. Though I doubt it. Now that I realize the truth of our shared trauma, I don’t blame him for his preference for solitude. He’s trying to heal, to remove himself from the darkness of those memories. And here I am, about to shove him back into it headfirst.

I struggle, still trying to fight the compulsion and failing miserably, being tugged from the passenger seat and toward Abe’s door with shaking limbs. I must look like a madman, like a zombie who’s forgotten how to walk.

Then from the corner of my eye, a familiar form steps into view, pink hair blazing in the sunlight. “Going somewhere in such a hurry?”

A surge of relief floods through me at the sight of him. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

“This fucking clown,” Eli snaps, coming up behind me and wrenching me back. He sneers at me, an ugly, pinched expression on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re betraying Father again? Thought you learned that the hard way once already.”

I ignore him, compelled to move past him toward Abe’s apartment, but as I approach, Hollow steps in front of me. I can sense Eli hot on my trail, but Hollow grabs me and pulls me in close. My body responds on instinct. I thrust forward with a fist, attempting to throw him off when he catches it and holds me steady, looking into my eyes.

Then, he leans in and envelops my lips in a deep kiss. One that sends waves of electric warmth all the way down to my toes. He breathes into me and I feel light again, free, released.

He did it. He broke my compulsion. And just as I realize it, Eli is on us, wrenching us apart and shoving Hollow backward before lunging at him with fists flailing.

I take a moment to catch my breath as I watch Eli grapple with Hollow, throwing fists and missing each time as Hollow ducks out of the way. I feel like myself again. I could walk away if I wanted to, I can tell that now.

But I don’t want to walk away. As I see Hollow land a fist that slams Eli back to the cement, something else entirely comes over me. Bloodlust.

As Eli withdraws a knife from his belt and struggles to right himself, I approach. I’m filled with vigor, a fully awakened rage, thirsty for revenge. Hollow glances at me and nods, stepping back to allow me unimpeded access.

Eli looks up at me in disgust. He wipes at the blood dripping from his nose as he gets to his feet. I glance only briefly as at the knife in his hand before he lunges at me, fist clenched around the knife, thrusting it forward directly at my chest.

I leap out of the way, dancing around him as he roars in frustration. I kick the back of his knees and he stumbles forward, barely catching himself before I slam an elbow into the crook of his neck. He gasps and falls again, whirling around, but not fast enough to catch me.

It continues that way, him throwing himself at me, me ducking away before he can touch me, and all the while delivering hit after hit to his weakest points. His neck, his groin, his stomach. The entire time, Hollow watches but doesn’t interfere, a satisfied smile on his face. Almost impressed.

Eli’s nose is definitely broken, his lip split and his right eye swollen shut but still, he continues to heave forward, brandishing the knife as if he thinks it will save him. It won’t.

An alleyway just to the right of Abe’s apartment is the perfect place to end this. As Eli comes at me once again, I dip low to avoid him and then land a kick to his stomach, one that knocks him back. Again and again, I shove him backward, toward the alleyway that will obscure his end, hide what I’m about to do from any prying eyes. Though from the empty streets and decaying buildings, I doubt there’s anyone to pry.

Eli stumbles back, swinging blindly, a charging rhino, desperate and angry at being so overpowered. So very outmatched.

“I told you,” I hiss. “The next time we fought, I would kill you. I don’t make empty promises.”

“Fuck you,” he spits, blood and spittle raining from his mouth.

I want to laugh. Still, even beaten within an inch of his life, losing ground and fighting a battle he has no hopes of winning, he’s defiant and brazen. Just the kind of muscle Father likes to cultivate to protect him. The kind too stupid to know when they’re failing, too stubborn to back down.

My favorite from which to withhold all mercy.

I shove him backward into the alley so he slams hard against a nearby dumpster. Like the trash he is. He wheezes and snarls, pain obviously ricocheting through him, even as his shaking hand, still brandishing the knife, aims for my chest.

I can feel Hollow’s presence behind me.

And as Eli summons the dregs of his strength, throwing himself at me in a last desperate attempt to bury his knife in my flesh, I stand my ground and wrench the knife from his hand, slamming an elbow into the crook of his arm. I hear the bone crack, hear his scream echo across the brick walls as his arm falls limp to his side.

He drops to his knees, clutching his broken arm, twitching and shaking, knowing finally that he’s lost. "Father won’t forgive you for this.” His voice is hoarse, grating like sandpaper over wood. “You’re done. It’s over for you.”

I nod, looking down on him as nothing more than a bug under my heel. “It’s been over. For me. And for you as well.”

“He’ll kill you. He’ll do worse than that.”

“Did you know?” I ask, ignoring his empty threats. They mean nothing to me. “Did you know about the children?”

He laughs, more of a sputter as more blood wets his swollen lips. “You’re the only one who didn’t. Too weak, too soft, to know the truth. Father knew he couldn’t trust you with it. Those pretty little babies made us all rich, kept us living in luxury. You’re just as complicit. You cleared the roadblocks, made it all possible.”

That’s all I need to hear. I slit his throat with his own knife, watching him choke on his own blood as his face drains of color.

Hollow comes to stand beside me but he doesn’t speak. Doesn’t touch. His presence is enough. I feel so many things. Guilt. Anger. Relief. Shame.

“We need get his body out of here,” I finally say.

“Leave it to me,” Hollow replies.

I blink, wanting to ask him why. Why he’s so willing to offer himself in assistance to me. But I don’t. I can’t think too hard on his reasons. He’s here beside me right now. Open and willing and available. And I need him.

“Thank you.” The words slip out unbidden and Hollow blinks as though stunned.

“Come again?”

“Thank you for helping me. I tried to fight it but I couldn’t. I was helpless. I’ve never felt helpless like that before.”

“You’re welcome,” he says simply. Those golden eyes of his are warm pools of sunlight and I want to bask in them. But my mind snaps me back to reality. To Abe.

“He’s going to sell Abe,” I admit, spilling open to him as though only days ago we weren’t complete strangers. He’s my lifeline now and for some reason, I trust him. Maybe it’s foolish but I can’t help it.

Hollow nods resolutely. He’s unsurprised but serious, his brow set and somber. “He compelled you to bring Abe back to him?”

“Yes.”

“He wants to cut off his humanity.”

I raise a brow as I meet his gaze. “What does that mean?”

“By sacrificing the one person he truly loves, or thinks he loves, he’ll be completing the ritual. Embracing the totality of his power by shaking off the shackles of his human attachments.”

“Human attachments. ”

He grins at my sardonic tone. “Indeed.”

“Do you have human attachments?” I study him, taking in the shape of him, the completeness of him. This man who didn’t hesitate to come to my aid. Didn’t question me when I needed him. I don’t think anyone has ever done that for me before.

“Something like that,” he replies, still smiling at me. He glances down at Eli’s crumpled corpse and his face sobers, if only just a bit. “If you trust me to handle him, you should get your brother out of here.”

“I trust you.”

I glance at him to see he’s watching me with an almost wistful look on his face, a soft, affectionate smile.

“Good. Go, then. I’ll meet you inside.”

So straightening my shoulders and breathing in deep, I head for Abe’s doorway. Nervous apprehension flutters through me like a million butterflies. The last time we spoke, it didn’t go well. And I doubt Abe will be amenable to my demands now. But that doesn’t matter. Whether I have to use force or overpower him completely, Abe has to leave New Mason. He can’t stay here anymore. He’s in danger and its entirely my fault.

I knock on Abe’s door and wait, my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. Then, shuffling sounds from inside. I hear someone approach the door and I know Abe is peering out the peephole. A pause before, “Go away, Killian.”

Killian. My brother never calls me by my full name. “Abe, you need to let me in.”

“I said go away.”

“Abe, this is serious. You’re in danger. I need to talk to you.”

Another pause. I know Abe knows I love him. Even if he’s angry, betrayed. Even if he hates me. He knows I love him and that I would never hurt him on purpose.

“Please.” I stoop to begging, my voice cracking as my soul admits its exhaustion. “Please, Abe. Please let me in.”

I think I hear him sigh and then there’s the sound of the latch undoing, the sharp grate of the deadbolt turning. And then the door opens and Abe stands before me.

His blue eyes are wide and dark circles lie underneath. His cheeks are gaunt and sallow, his color paler than usual. Blond hair sticks every which way as though it's been days since he’s run a comb through it. But I’m sure he looks better than I do.

He purses his lips as he looks at me.

“Can I come inside?”

For a moment, I think he’s going to turn me away again, but then, he sighs, shrugs and steps aside to allow me to pass.

Abe’s apartment looks worse than the last time I was here. Dust has settled on almost every inch of undisturbed space, scattered newspapers and books left unread laying on any flat surface available. I can see from where the carpet is worn down where he’s been pacing the floor, nervous frustration making him unable to sit still. Aside from that, it’s cold, the thermostat either turned off completely or only set to maintain a livable warmth. Blankets fringe the couch as though Abe has been burrowing beneath them and hiding within their cavernous depths.

I can feel Abe watching me as I take in the dank, cold space. Distrustful. It hurts to feel that barrier that’s come to settle between us.

“We need to leave,” I say, attempting to keep emotion from my voice. “Pack up what you absolutely need and then we’re leaving town.”

He gapes at me as though taken aback. “Leaving?”

“Yes. You’re not safe here.”

“I’m not leaving.”

It’s my turn to go stone faced. “You are.”

“What the hell is with you? You can’t just storm in here and try to uproot my entire life. You don’t get to control me, Killian.”

I blink, unperturbed by his frustration, the way his brow pinches in anger. “Father sent me here to bring you back to him. Do you know why? So he can sell you.”

He pauses, his mouth falling open, lip trembling. “Sell me?”

“You know what that means, don’t you?”

“He sent you here?”

“Yes.”

“And so you came.” He pulls himself taut, fear replacing the anger on his face.

“Don’t you dare look at me like that. I would never do anything to hurt you. Not of my own volition.” My stomach cramps as I say the words, knowing the truth is that only moments ago, I wasn’t here of my own accord. Had Hollow not come to my aid, this would have been a very different conversation.

“Where do you propose I go, then?” Abe eyes me with narrowed and suspicious blue eyes, eyes swimming with tears that threaten to spill over.

“Out of town. Away from New Mason. Anywhere. I’ll take you there now. We’ll go somewhere Father can’t find you. I won’t let him hurt you.”

At first, he doesn’t move, just stands there staring at me, disbelieving.

I bristle, moving to begin packing some of his things. A discarded sweater from the couch. A pair of pants. Throwing them together in a pile, I head to his bedroom, the small room just off the main living space and begin to rifle through his drawers. He stands in the doorway watching me. Still unmoving.

“Let’s go. Pack what you need. Only the essentials.” I grab several pairs of underwear. A pair of sweatpants, and throw them on his rumpled, unmade bed. Frustrated, I look up at him and enunciate, “Now.”

“Kill, stop.” He approaches as I resume my work, heading to his closet and grabbing several plain white shirts, hoisting them from their hangers and throwing them with the rest of the others on the bed. “Stop.” He grabs my wrist, ceasing my movements, bringing my eyes crashing back to his. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“The hell you aren’t. Did you not hear anything I just said?”

“I heard you. But I can’t go. Not without Alexis.”

I see something in his eyes then, something in the way they widen and fix onto me. Some glimmer of desperation, pleading. “The priest?”

He nods solemnly and a tear finally trickles down his cheek. “Father is keeping him. In the Church. He’s a prisoner. Because of me.”

I straighten and swallow. Force myself to stay calm though I want to scream at him for being such a fool. “Abe. He’s a priest. He’s fine. Father said he was leading Mass today. You are the one who is in danger.”

“Father knows about us. He found out somehow. He’ll hurt him, Kill. Alexis is in danger and it’s my fault. For letting him love me. I never should have…” He breaks off, choking on his own words as though they’re strangling him. My heart feels like it’s about to shatter. For him, for myself. For this cruel situation in which we’ve both been placed. But I can’t…I can’t allow him to stay here. Even if he hates me for it. I’m responsible for him and him alone. The rest be damned— I won’t let anyone hurt Abe.

I hear a creak as the front door opens. Whirling around, fully on the offense, I breathe a sigh of relief as Hollow steps over the threshold, holding his hands aloft in a gesture of surrender. “Just me,” he says.

“Is it done?” I ask, and he nods. I don’t ask him what he’s done or how he’s done it so fast. It doesn’t matter. He’ll only give me the same response. Magic. And I trust him to have done it well.

“Who the hell is this?” Abe asks, his tone edged with venom.

“This is Hollow,” I say. “He’s…a friend.”

“Didn’t know you had any of those.” Abe cocks a brow, seemingly unconvinced. Distrusting. I don’t blame him. In fact, I’m proud of him. But right now, I need him to trust us.

“Neither did I,” I admit. “But he’s here to help. He’s already helped us more than you know.”

From the doorway, Hollow watches us with stoic, golden eyes. He says nothing—is just a calming, collected presence—and a shiver of appreciation runs down my spine. To have him here, to have his support, means more than I’m prepared to acknowledge.

I turn my attention back on my brother, determination settling in my bones. There’s nothing more important than getting Abe’s compliance. Getting him to understand the danger. “Abe, this is so much bigger, so much more serious than we could have ever imagined. Father is going to hurt you. He’s going to sell you and you’re going to die. I can’t allow that to happen. But I also might not be able to prevent it.”

He blinks up at me, uncertainty painted like a mask on his face. “What?”

“I can’t explain it. Not now. Not in a way you would understand. But there’s a reason Father has gotten away with all that he has for so long. Without any consequences. He will use the priest against you. He’ll pit us against one another. He has the ability to do that. You know it. Alexis is likely past the point of saving now. The only thing we can do is save each other. Get out of here in one piece.”

“I love him, Kill.” His words stun me, knock the wind out of my chest. “I know you don’t get it. You’ve never been in love. But I can’t abandon him. He wouldn’t abandon me.”

I can feel Hollow’s eyes, his silent appraisal. No judgment, no sound. I calm my breathing and shake my head. “If we promise to get Father Alexis free from the Church. Will you come with us willingly?”

He studies me as if disbelieving my sincerity. “How?”

“I don’t know, dammit. This wasn’t exactly a part of my initial plan. Yes or no?”

“I’ll go with you. If Alexis comes with us, I’ll go anywhere you want.” I sigh in relief but he continues. “But I haven’t been able to reach him and I don’t know how to get into the Church without Father’s men catching me. Taking me straight to him .”

Hollow clears his throat, directing our attention. “I’ll find him.”

Abe looks at him again with narrowed eyes. Then he turns his gaze back at me again. “Who the hell is this guy? Why is he here?”

I sigh and take Abe’s hand. “You and I weren’t the only ones Father hurt. There were others. Still are. Others.”

“Others?” His voice quavers.

I nod. “Others like Hollow.”

He swallows and looks back at Hollow. “You? When? How?”

He shrugs, leaning against the doorframe and studying us from his leisurely stance. “Same old story. Father found me in an orphanage. Promised to adopt me, bring me up in the Church. And then he sold me off. I was twelve.”

“Twelve,” Abe whispers, almost to himself. “But you got away.”

Hollow smirks. “Indeed.”

“Father didn’t…keep you.” Abe seems almost confused at this revelation.

“He didn’t. You two were the lucky ones.”

Abe’s eyes darken at that word. “So these others you mentioned. Others like Hollow. How many are there?”

Hollow speaks for me. “Hundreds, I’d wager.”

“Children?” Abe asks as if afraid to know the answer.

Again, Hollow nods.

“What happens to them?”

“Use your imagination,” Hollow replies, his voice cold, bordering on impatient. “What happened to you ?” There’s a harshness in his tone that I want to shield Abe from. But perhaps I’ve tried to shield him for too long. He needs to know the truth. The depravity. The evil. It’s greater than either of us could have imagined. The betrayal is something that we both feel deep within our bones.

“Hollow,” I say, a warning. Too much. Too soon. He crosses his arms over his chest and seals his lips.

“If there are other children, we have to find them. We have to free them,” Abe says, his voice soft and low. I should have known his soft heart would bleed for others. For innocents.

“One step at a time,” I caution. “Father keeps a record of all his transactions. And I think I can get to it. And Alexis too. But first, I need you to be safe.” I look at Hollow and he nods.

“You can stay at my place,” he says, and Abe blinks at him, wariness worn like a mask.

“Your place?” he questions.

“It’s the safest place for you,” I placate him. “Much safer than this shithole.”

Abe crinkles his nose at that but I persist.

“I’m staying there too. We’ll protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection. I’ve handled myself this long.”

A shockwave of irritation bubbles through me. “This is not about whether or not you can protect yourself from an ordinary man. Father is not an ordinary man. Even I can’t protect you on my own. We need help.”

Abe stares at me, mouth going slack. I’ve never been one to ask for help or admit weakness. So now, seeing me rely on another person, is giving him pause. Rightly so.

Abe turns his gaze once more to Hollow, taking him in, all the way from that garish pink hair tied high on his head, to the pointed toes of his black leather boots. “He trusts you,” he says to Hollow. “I hope you’re worthy of that trust. He doesn’t give it easily.”

Hollow’s eyes twinkle mischievously. “I’m honored to have it. And it just so happens, our goals align. I happen to enjoy your brother a great deal.”

Abe glances at me and I feel my face heat. “Get your shit and let’s go. Only the essentials.”

I pull away as Abe nods, swallowing and beginning to dig through his drawers. As he hurries to pack, throwing items in a worn yellow backpack, I approach Hollow and together, we slip into the living room, leaving Abe to his own devices, but still keeping a watchful eye.

“Here,” Hollow digs into his jacket pocket and retrieves a key on a ring, handing it to me. “A key to my place. You and Abe go on ahead of me. I trust you not to steal any of my valuables.”

I shake my head at his playful smirk. “You’re not coming with us?”

“Not yet. Need to get rid of the truck.”

I nod, swallowing. “Thank you,” I say again. For the second time in the last hour. I’m not used to saying it. But it doesn’t grate on me like I thought it would. And the smile it wins me is charming enough.

“My pleasure,” he replies. “I’m honored you thought to come to me.” Nothing seems to faze him, no amount of darkness or violence or evil. He goes through the world with a joyful indifference, a playful exuberance that confuses me. And makes my blood pump in a strangely exciting way.

I shrug to break the tension. “I didn’t have any other options.”

“No. You didn’t. Though I have to admit, I’m quite happy to be your only option.”

The way he looks at me, like he wants to devour me, makes my stomach clench. Before I can spare a second thought, I lean in and take his lips, pressing them to my own and wrapping a hand around the back of his neck. It’s forceful and rushed and heated and desperate and I wish it could last longer. That I could give more. But for now, it’s a show of my gratitude that I can’t express in words. And he melts into it, opening his mouth to caress my searching tongue with his.

And then it’s over and we’re pulling away, aware of the setting, the urgency of our situation. I hear Abe approaching, padding over to stand in the doorway. He’s holding his backpack, filled to bursting. But his expression is resolute.

“Ready.”

Hollow winks at me. “Meet you there.”