No Ordinary Love (A Modern Vintage Romance #5)

6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Lucas

" S tay the fuck away from her, Jax," I ground out at my old friend when I caught him at the bar.

The uncomfortable fucking dinner was over. I couldn't look away from Amara, which Kath noticed and had a hissy fit about.

"Away from whom? Kath? I wouldn't touch that bitch with a barge pole," Jax muttered and picked up the two glasses of Scotch the bartender had handed him.

Amara favored Islay scotch and had asked for a drink to end the night with, and Jax had generously offered to get her said drink and take her home since Bobby Gantz was going to get a ride with Grandma. I had a feeling that Rena Covington was poking her nose in my business. I was going to talk to her as soon as I could and ask her what the fuck she was up to.

"Away from Amara," I hissed.

"Why?" he asked casually. "Rena said you dumped her. She suggested I meet her because she thinks she's my type. She is! She's smart. Gorgeous as fuck. And, almost obscenely sweet."

She's mine, fucker .

"Exactly. She's not your fuck n' forget kind of woman."

"You seemed to have done that, Lucas; and I don't think she'll appreciate you interfering in her business."

The idea of Jax and Amara together made me want to hurt someone. Was this how Amara felt when she saw Kath and me? That must hurt her a hell of a lot more since she was in love with me. I cared about Amara. I was attracted to her. Still attracted to her. She looked a vision in that light blue dress of hers that made her blue-gray eyes stand out. I remember when she'd worn it last, how I'd fucked her against the couch in our new home while she still had the dress on.

Had she worn it because she knew how much I liked her in it?

No . I knew she hadn't because she barely looked at me all evening. She was too busy flirting with Jax PGA Fucking Champion.

"Jax," I warned him.

"Lucas, I'm not looking to fuck n' forget anymore," Jax said solemnly. "I'm ready to commit. I want to settle down."

Say what? Not with my Amara, asshole.

"There are thousands of women in Charleston; find someone else, not my ex."

"Ex being the operative word, dickhead," Jax said cheerfully. "Mind your own beeswax, Lucas."

He left me glaring at him, and I felt like a fool, both for feeling the way I did about Amara being with Jax and for speaking to him about it. Seeing him with her had driven a knife through my heart. I couldn't stand it.

When I'd agreed to come to the ball with Kath, I thought this would be the start of us exploring as we were. In the past, before Amara, whenever I thought about Kath and I getting together, my first instinct was to fuck her hard. But now, I kept telling her we should wait until we got to know one another again, give us time to get used to the people we'd become. That was an alarm bell that went off loud and clear in my head. I wasn't as attracted to Kath as I thought I was. How long ago had that worn off? She was still beautiful, but my dick didn't go hard every time I caught a whiff of her—and, looking back, it hadn't for a while. Not since Amara , a voice in my head informed me.

My dick, apparently, had no trouble getting stiff as soon as I saw Amara. I still cared about her. I knew that. I missed her. But we'd broken up for a good reason, didn't we? I didn't love Amara. I didn't . I knew what love was because I loved Kath, and that was not how I felt about the woman Jax had reminded me was obscenely sweet.

"Lucas." Grandma put a hand on my forearm. "Where's Kath? I thought she was your shadow these days?"

There was just a tinge of irritation in her tone when she mentioned Kath. I'd always thought Grandma loved Kath just as Mama and Shelby did.

Before I could answer I saw Kath walking up to us, all smiles.

"Well, there she is," Grandma sighed deeply.

"Grandma, that's so nice of you to set up Amara with Jax." Kath sounded polite and concerned, but I could hear the annoyance in her tone. She didn't like Amara. I got that. But why did she care who Amara dated?

"Did I set them up?" Grandma said sardonically. "Amara is a good-looking, wonderful woman; I can see why Jax is so interested. It's good timing. He's wanting to settle down."

"With Amara?" Kath scoffed. "Now, Grandma, you know Jax's parents will have a heart attack if they think he's gonna want to have somethin' long-term with someone like Amara."

"What's wrong with her?" Grandma challenged heatedly.

Kath knew she'd fucked up and shrugged. "She's not from our world," she pointed out.

"And what world is that? Earth? Charleston? She's a professor at a reputable school and, according to Bobby, an up-and-coming star in her field. She's well educated. She's intelligent. I think Jax's parents will think their son fell into gold if he can get her to be interested in him." Grandma's tone was diamond sharp.

Snubbed and embarrassed, Kath began, "I just—" but Grandma cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"Lucas, we need to talk about a project I want to do with the Heritage Foundation and LPC," Grandma focused on me, ignoring Kath completely. "My assistant will set up some time on your calendar next week."

She sailed away. After that, Kath looked at me with tears shining in her eyes. "Why is she so angry with me?"

I had no fucking idea.

"She's not," I lied. "I think she's just got a lot going on, especially with this ball."

"You sure?" Kath leaned into me, and I slipped my arms around her.

I kissed her forehead. "Yes."

I wished my mother and sister were there so they could buffer Kath against Grandma. My mother and sister had not been able to make the ball as they were in New York with Flynn for someone's engagement party.

It was becoming apparent to me that even though she hadn't said as much, Grandma liked Amara and had a problem with me dating Kath again. Since my grandmother spoke her mind come hell or high water, I knew that she'd tell me what she thought when I saw her next.

"You okay, sweetie?" Kath asked, sliding her hands up my shoulder to link at my neck. I automatically put my hands on her waist. I wasn't one for PDA, especially when we were out in public. Charleston was a conservative town, and you didn't go around flaunting your partner.

"I'm okay." I rearranged us so my arm was around her, and we weren't all but necking in the middle of a ballroom.

"Let's dance," Kath suggested breathlessly. Something was up with her. I could feel it. There was a desperation about her that hadn't been there five years ago when I was crushed, asking her how she could end us, how she could choose another man over me. Now, she was doing everything she could to make sure that we'd go through with this experiment of trying, once again, to be in a relationship.

"Yes, let's dance," I agreed.

The Magnolia Ball was in full swing, a glittering sea of Charleston's elite swirling around me beneath the grand chandeliers. The orchestra played a waltz that filled the air with an elegance befitting the night, each note as perfectly placed as the magnolia blossoms decorating the tables. The ballroom was a spectacle of luxury, from the gilded mirrors reflecting the twinkling candlelight to the polished marble floors where couples moved in time to the music.

Kath was in my arms, her body pressed close to mine as we glided across the floor. She looked beautiful, as she always did—her sleek blonde hair swept into an elegant chignon, her red dress complementing her fair skin and drawing attention to the sparkle in her blue eyes. But despite the flawless picture we made, she didn't arouse me at all and I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering.

Across the room, just beyond the circle of dancers, Amara stood with Jax. I watched as she laughed at something he said, the sound carrying across the ballroom like a melody of its own. Jax leaned in closer, his eyes locked on hers, clearly captivated. It was a look I recognized all too well—a look I'd worn far too many times when I was with her.

Amara looked lovely. But it was more than surface beauty, she exuded an innate grace that made my breath hitch in my throat. The way she moved, the way she smiled—it hit me hard, knocking the wind out of me.

I couldn't understand myself. I was the one who didn't choose her and yet, here I was, watching her with another man and feeling… jealous ?

No. That wasn't possible. I wasn't jealous. I had Kath, the woman I always wanted. But as I turned my gaze back to Kath, I could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the way her smile faltered just slightly when she noticed where my attention had been.

She was scared; I thought, worried that she was losing me—even before we started. This was the first time I had agreed to go on a date with her since we'd reconnected, and she was clinging to it like a lifeline.

I tightened my grip on her waist, trying to reassure her and convince myself at the same time.

"You're quiet tonight." Kath's voice was low, almost hesitant.

"Not particularly," I replied, forcing a smile as we continued to move in time with the music. I was always quiet in social settings; didn't she know that about me?

"It's just not…well, you used to talk more when I saw you at these things with her ." She couldn't keep the accusation out of her tone.

It was true; I did talk more when I was with Amara because I was talking to Amara and not making social small talk. I hated that shit.

"You laughed with her but with me—."

"What are you saying, Kath?" I wanted to be present, to focus on Kath, to rekindle whatever we had years ago. But my eyes betrayed me, drawing back to Amara and Jax again and again.

Jax had taken her hand now, leading her onto the dance floor, and I couldn't tear my gaze away as they began to waltz. He was confident and graceful, guiding her effortlessly through the steps, and Amara looked… happy . Her head tilted back as she laughed at something he whispered in her ear, and I felt a sharp twist in my chest.

"Stop staring at her , Lucas. You're embarrassing yourself and me." Kath's voice cut through the fog in my mind, bringing me back to the woman in my arms.

I met her gaze, seeing the fear, the desperation she was trying so hard to hide. She'd made a mistake five years ago, and now, after all this time, she was afraid she might be too late to fix it. I wanted to tell her she was wrong and that she was the one I wanted, but the words stuck in my throat, thick and heavy.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" I heard the catch in Kath's throat, and I felt like the asshole I knew I was.

I could almost hear my Grandma in my head, " You didn't want Amara and now you don't want Kath. Lucas, you need to grow up and figure out who and what you want. "

"Lucas?" Kath pressed, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

"I was with her for two years, Kath. Of course, I still have feelings for her," I admitted, the truth burning as it left my mouth. It was the first time I'd said it out loud, and the words hung between us like a specter—haunting and undeniable.

Kath's face fell, her fear morphing into something closer to resignation. "We were so good together once," she whispered, her voice trembling with the effort to hold it together. "We can be again, Lucas. Just, don't give up on us."

I nodded because what else could I do? But as I looked over her shoulder at Amara and Jax, twirling together in perfect harmony, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was holding on to the wrong person; that I had let go of the right one. The music swelled, the ballroom around us spinning in a blur of silk and sequins, but all I could see was Amara in another man's arms, smiling like I'd never hurt her.

And that was the problem. I had hurt her, shattered her trust, and now she was moving on, finding happiness without me. The realization gnawed at me, eating away at the certainty I thought I had in my choices.

But this was my decision, I kicked myself hard—one I'd have to live with, one way or another, even if it meant standing here, in a room full of people, feeling like the loneliest man in the world.