No Ordinary Love (A Modern Vintage Romance #5)

24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Lucas

S avannah's was a small café tucked away on Broad Street. Its brick exterior was weathered but charming, with a hand-painted sign above the door that simply read Savannah's.

Inside, the smell of freshly brewed coffee hung in the air, mixing with the scent of pastries and the faint hint of vanilla from the candles on each table.

Amara and I used to come here when we were dating, but we hadn't been here in a long while. Probably since we broke up six months ago, which was one of the hardest times of my life. The thought that we'd never be together again, that I wouldn't be able to fix my wrongs, was debilitating. I loved this woman—I knew that with a certainty I'd never had before. I'd probably loved her all along but hadn't wanted to accept it—or admit it—because I knew being with Amara would bring upheaval to the family. Mama kept saying how Amara didn't fit in, and she didn't. Thank fucking God for that.

I could play the regret game, wishing that I knew then what I knew now, but that wasn't going to bring my woman back to me. My beautiful, fantastic woman, I thought as I watched her. We were settled into a corner booth by the window, the light from outside filtering in just enough to highlight the deep auburn in Amara's hair. She mesmerized me since that first time I'd laid my eyes on her when I knew there was no way I wasn't going to get to know her.

How could I have taken my awesome life and fucked it up the way I had?

It was quiet here, only a few other customers scattered around, their conversations a soft murmur in the background. This was precisely what we needed—somewhere intimate, away from the pressures of work.

Amara ordered a black coffee, like me, and when the waitress left, there was a moment of silence. There was tension between us that felt like it could go either way. But then Amara broke it with that sharp, teasing smile that always managed to throw me off balance.

"What's the plan here? Are you going to apologize with coffee now? Because I have to tell you, it's going to take more than a caffeine hit to fix this."

I couldn't control the grin that tugged at my lips. "Well, I was going to offer to throw in a croissant, but if you're going to be difficult…"

She rolled her eyes, her fingers tracing the edge of the ceramic mug. "I am not difficult, ever."

"Of course, Tesoro ," I leaned forward, matching her tone. "You are and always have been a pleasure and a delight."

She looked at me, and for a moment, the banter faded as a more severe tone settled between us. I caught a flicker of softness and vulnerability in her eyes before she quickly masked it with a wry smile.

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Covington," she quipped, though the edge in her voice had softened. "We've been down this road before, remember?"

"I do." I looked into her beautiful blue-gray eyes, which captivated me today as they had the first time. "I also remember how good we were together before I messed it all up."

She didn't respond right away. Instead, she took a slow sip of her coffee, her gaze drifting to the street outside the window. "We were living in a fool's paradise, ignoring our problems and pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn't."

"You really believe that?" Her words had shattered me. I picked up the coffee cup, giving my shaking hands something to do.

She turned to face me, and I saw a sheen of tears. "We were damn good together when it was just us," she finally admitted, her voice tinged with a wistfulness that made my heart ache. "But then the world came in and…I don't even know what happened, Lucas."

I set my coffee down. "I hurt you; that's what happened. It took me too long to understand myself; know that I love you and that I want to spend my life with you."

"And Kath?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Fucking hell, Amara! Thinking I felt the same way about her as I did when we were kids was, without a doubt, the biggest mistake I've ever made. I don't. The truth is, I was and am completely enamored with you—attached, besotted. I was stupid not to realize it sooner, but I'm not a foolish man, and I've learned from my mistakes."

"What did you learn?" She tilted her head.

"I need to separate what I want and need from what my family expects of me. When I'm pressured to do things that I don't want to do, I should walk away, not give in, just because duty and obligation were hammered into me growing up."

"I learned a few things about myself too," she whispered. "I run away instead of facing issues. I don't talk things through. Like…I should've just asked you what the hell you were talking to your mother about, instead of just moving out."

I lowered my head. "And I should've fought for you, instead of thinking, well, at least now Mama won't keep nagging me about you."

"Your Mama isn't changing," she pointed out.

I had to smile at that. "That's her business. I have changed. I have grown. I don't want to live a life where I'm a dutiful Covington. I want to live my life with you . I want love and affection. I want to wake up with you smiling at me. I want to fuck you and make love to you. I want babies with you and—"

"Stop," she pleaded, now tears crowding her eyes. She closed them and took deep breaths. "I hate how emotional I get around you."

"You think it's different for me?" I grabbed her hand and forced her to look at me. "You think I'm not falling apart all the fucking time because you're not with me? You think I'm not scared every minute of every day that I won't be able to fix this…fix us and lose the love of my fucking life?"

She opened her eyes and gazed at me, pain etched on her face. "I don't know, Lucas. I feel like we're nothing but drama."

"We love each other, and that makes us vulnerable."

"So, we'll keep hurting each other?" she groaned.

"No! I've finally pulled my head out of my ass," I replied bluntly. "I'm done being the good Covington, doing what everyone expects. I want to be with you, Amara. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove that to you."

She shook her head, letting out a soft, humorless laugh. "You make it sound so simple. But it's not. You can't just decide one day that you're over Kath and expect everything to be okay between us. It doesn't work like that."

"I was over Kath years ago," I confessed. "If I loved her at all, you think I'd have not immediately been with her after we ended?"

She licked her lips. "I thought you'd slept with her that weekend…you know, your grandma's birthday."

"No. There's been no one since you. And there won't be, even if you don't take me back, not for a long time. I…," I let out a long breath, trying to get my emotions under control, "I don't think I'm going to function very well without you in my life."

"I don't know what to do," she said in frustration, pulling her hand away from me. "I just don't know. I don't function well without you, either. But I worry that we'll get back and you'll hurt me again, and the worst part will be that I won't tell you and let it fester and rot, so when I get a chance, I'll run away. Isn't that what I did? Instead of telling you that your mother and sister were obnoxious to me, and I expect you to defend me and put them in their place, I kept saying everything was fine."

"That's on me. Not you. It wasn't fine, and I was an idiot."

She smiled. "You're not an idiot," then shrugged, "maybe a little bit." She looked at me tenderly. "I don't know how to move past this. How to forgive you? And get better myself."

I grabbed both her hands. "It's going to be work, but all relationships are work, and we're worth it."

She pulled her hands away again and picked up her coffee.

"I'm not expecting you to just forgive me and forget everything. I know I have to earn that, and I'm prepared to do it. But I need you to know that I'm serious about this—about us."

She sipped her coffee, her expression thoughtful. "I've already handed in my resignation, and I'm planning to leave Charleston. I need a fresh start, somewhere far away from all this…mess."

From me!

The words landed hard, but I forced myself to stay composed. Losing my shit wouldn't help my case. "If that's really what you want," I said hoarsely, "then I won't stop you. But I think you're running away because you're scared."

"I am absolutely horror-movie stuck in the basement frightened, Lucas," she shot back, her eyes flashing. "You put me through hell. You made me feel like I was never enough; like I was just some placeholder until Kath came back into your life. How am I supposed to trust you now?"

"I'm asking you to take a chance." I leaned forward, letting the desperation I was feeling creep into my voice. "I'm not perfect, Amara, but I want to be better. For you. With you."

I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at everything I was about to lose.

She stared at me for a long moment, and I could see the internal battle she was waging. She wanted to believe me—I could see it in her eyes—but she was holding herself back, protecting herself from more hurt. "I'm not perfect either."

" Tesoro —"

She held up a hand to stop me from speaking. "Can we just…take it one day at a time?"

"Yes, as long as you don't fucking run every time a bad thing happens. Kath was a bitch at the gala. You knew that, and yet—"

"I don't want things like that to keep happening," she cried out.

" Tesoro , I have news for you. In every relationship, shit is going to happen. How we deal with it determines our future."

She made a sound, and it looked like she deflated. "You're right. But don't we have too much baggage?"

I chuckled. "The longer a couple is in a relationship, the more suitcases of stuff they're going to have."

She laughed softly then. "I don't want to rush this."

"What does that mean besides you telling me you don't want to have sex with me?" I asked cheekily.

She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "Don't get cute."

"I'll give you what you need, but I'm going to prove to you that I'm worth a second chance."

"I already know you are," she breathed. "I'm worried that after all this, it will be—"

"Shh, just leave it at believing I'm worth a second chance…that we are worth the work."

"You're so bossy," she complained in good humor.

" Tesoro , when we're together, you are the boss. You know that, don't you?"

She laughed then; it was clean, and it warmed my heart. "You, Lucas Covington, are a smooth talker. Okay, now, can we talk about this project?"

I grinned. "Yeah, we can do that."

"A question first, how did you know that this would be the kind of project I wouldn't be able to turn down?" she asked and added, "Don't pretend you didn't put this together to get me to work with you."

"I wasn't going to." I wanted to jump up and down and tell the world that my woman was going to give me a fucking chance. Lucas Covington, who took what he wanted and how he liked it, was on his knees, and I had absolutely no complaints. If it meant she'd be mine again, I'd genuflect to Amara for the rest of my life. "Basil helped me out with the idea, and then Grandma, who was already thinking about this with Jill, worked with the Chancellor."

"I'm flattered." Her eyes sparkled with amusement. "You went to a lot of trouble."

"For you, Tesoro, there's no mountain high enough."