Noaz (Van Doren #2)

24. Noaz

24

NOAZ

“Beethoven.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “No. Uh-uh.”

“Bartholemew.”

“What? No!” I laugh.

“Calico?”

“Isn’t that the color of a cat?”

Briar grins as his eyes meet mine. We’re finishing up putting the crib together. It’s stunning already. We chose a large oval crib. The wood is a dark gray, a much darker shade than the walls. I didn’t want the wood to blend in, but I also didn’t want traditional wood tones since I thought it would be out of place in this bedroom.

The mattress skirt is a cream color with light gray forest animals embroidered all around. They match the canopy overhead. Not the kind of canopy that attaches to the frame. This one hangs from the ceiling—so it’s safe for baby—with a sheer curtain hanging around a large round base. In the middle is a beautiful lantern light that gives off a soft glow and a few miniature stuffed animals hang from it in place of a mobile.

I know baby won’t be in the crib for a little while, but I’m so in love with this. The cool, crisp colors. The bedding we have on order is a soft gray purple. It’s just stunning.

“A pattern of colors, yes.”

“Do you even like these names?” I ask, laughing.

“I’m gauging what kind of name you like. Incredibly uncommon and maybe a little whacky, super common, or maybe somewhere in between.”

“What do you like?”

“I think it’s easier to say what I don’t like when we come across it. And no, I didn’t like any of those names I suggested.”

I snort. Briar stands back to look at the crib. It’s solid. Beautiful. Like nothing I had ever seen before.

“What if I’d loved one of those names?” I ask.

“I would learn to love it,” he says, motioning for me to help him move the crib into place. We already hung the canopy, so now we’re just moving the crib into place under it.

Then we stand back to admire it and Briar wraps his arm around my waist.

“Phineas,” he suggests.

“I don’t hate that one at all.”

“Neither do I.”

“I think I like names that aren’t out there—like mine is. But something where they’re not going to be known as Michael V because there are eight Michaels in their class. ”

“Definitely agree. Honey Bee had that problem. Jessica continues to be a very common name. But I’ve never met another Briar.”

“Same. I might be the only Noaz in existence.”

He kisses my temple, and we turn to face the rest of the room. We’ve set up the rocking chair in another corner and pulled the dresser out of its packaging. The only other things we have left to do in the nursery are assembling the bookcase and the cube storage system, hanging some shelves, and hanging the window curtain.

When I list them in my head, it feels like a very long list.

“Shelf or cubbies next?” Briar asks as he hands me my water bottle. He’s very conscious of staying hydrated.

“Cubbies.”

As we unpack the pieces, Briar continues to throw out names. He’s moved away from the ridiculous names and is focusing on names that aren’t as common now as they had once been. He also alternates between traditional girl and boy names.

We have half the cubbies together when I say, “Do you think they’ll be picked on if we give them a traditionally female name?”

“I’m sad to say the reality is, kids will pick on other kids for any reason. However, what we now consider traditionally female had once been very common male names—Kelly, Ashley, Kim. I think maybe we need to be conscious about the name we choose, but not write off something we love, even if it’s now looked at as inherently female.”

“I’d really love to choose a name that doesn’t sound male or female when you first hear it. Like Avory, Taylor, or Kennedy. Not those names. Obviously, one of those is already taken by someone close. ”

Briar grins. “What about Ellis?”

I waver my head back and forth. “Not as much as Phineas, though I know that one is a boy’s name.”

“We can keep Phineas on a back burner. Maybe it’ll match for a middle name.”

“My brothers and I all have the same middle name,” I say. “Except Jalon. He got his very own.”

“Really?” Briar prompts me to hold the side up while he screws it together. “Why?”

“Alann is my great-grandfather’s name. I’m not sure why the four of us were all given Alann when Jalon was given Drew—my great-grandfather’s middle name. Like they wanted to give a nod to our great-grandfather without fully committing and then gave up that premise when Arath was born.”

“Huh. Do you want to continue with either of those?”

“I don’t know. Part of me thinks I should. My great-grandfather was the one who truly began Van Doren Technologies. It was his business mind and ambition that took the simple dairy farm he had and expanded it into different fields. Each generation built on the last. It wasn’t until Jalon that it truly exploded and became the dynasty it is now, but yeah, it’s Great-granddad who gave us our start.”

“Did you know him?”

I shake my head, maneuvering to assist Briar where he needs me. He’s truly doing all the heavy lifting here. “He died before Arath was born. We’ve come up with a lot of different theories over the years to explain lots of things we’ve been curious about. Like, maybe Great-granddad only wanted our father to have one child, so Dad didn’t have more until he was dead. The dates make sense. Jalon was thirteen when Great-Granddad died and the next year, Arath was born, and then the rest of us in quick succession.”

“Have you ever asked your parents?”

I shrug. “I haven’t because I don’t truly care. But I think Arath and Kairo both have. I don’t remember what answer they received, but it wasn’t something that satisfied them as a reason. I’d get it if there were kids between Jalon and Arath, you know? It would explain the fourteen years as obviously busy reproducing. But that’s not the case.”

“What do you think?”

We set the cubby shelf upright and move it into place before moving on to the bookcase. “I don’t really know. Maybe they just wanted to live for a while without having to take care of a ton of kids? That doesn’t seem unreasonable.”

Briar nods. “So we put Alann or Drew into the consideration column.”

“Yeah, okay. I now wonder if I’m expected to carry that on. Are we forevermore going to be expected to honor great-granddad with his name being the middle name for every generation of Van Dorens to come?”

He chuckles. “You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations, Noaz. If you don’t want Alann, then we won’t name our child Alann. First, middle, or anything else.”

I sigh.

The bookshelf goes together quickly, then we’re putting finishing touches on the room with the shelves on the wall and the curtain. We lay the rug on the floor and stand in the doorway to see what we have.

“I love this,” Briar says .

“It’s going to look even better once we get bedding and stuffies and personality on the wall.”

He kisses the shell of my ear. “Want to break for lunch and then we’ll begin unboxing the rest of the house?”

“Okay.”

We don’t talk about baby or family during lunch. We end up talking about honeymoon destinations instead. Someday.

When I come out of the shower dressed in bedclothes, I find Briar lying on the couch in the living room. The television is on, though I’m not sure he’s watching it since he has his phone in his hand.

The swing is in the corner with the Pack ‘n Play under the window. We have the higher mattress in place, as well as the changing platform and mini bassinet on the top rails. I appreciate that the tiny bassinet comes off and has its own stand on wheels so we can bring it around.

The bedside bassinet for our bedroom is also in the living room. I meant to bring it with me when I took a shower but forgot. The stroller is collapsed beside the door as well. We didn’t get to the box with the high chair in it yet. It’s still sitting just inside the door, along with another half dozen boxes of things to assemble. Who knew you needed so much baby furniture? Although, I might have just gone overboard because I want everything. Either is a possibility.

I look back at Briar and simply stare. I’m allowed to stare at my husband, right? His pants are loose and riding low on his hips. He’s shirtless, so all those sexy muscles are on display for me. I’m still working out the details on something special and meaningful to make sure Briar knows how much I love him and appreciate all the sweet things he does for me.

As I stare at him, noting how well he fits in my space, I take an uneasy breath. Everything here was mine from before Briar moved in. Every piece of furniture. Every piece of artwork. The only things he brought were his clothes and his laptop.

His gaze flickers over to mine, and he smiles. “What’s wrong?”

Crossing the room, I climb on top of him, letting my legs hang on either side of his hips. His arms immediately wrap around me. “Do you feel comfortable here?” I ask.

Briar’s leg comes up between mine, almost as if he’s locking me in place. I try not to let it feel sexy right now. It’s hard, though, because I have a sexy, sexy man underneath me.

“I’m very comfortable. More so when you’re lying with me.”

I press my lips to his. “No. I mean, yes. I love that and me too, but I mean in this house. There’s nothing of you in here. Everything is me.”

“I don’t have furniture. I brought what I own.”

“Yes, I know, but… do you want to change something? I really want this to feel like your house, too.”

His fingers tangle into my hair, and my eyes close. I love the feel of him. The way he’s gently rough, bringing me where he wants me. Like now, when he brings my mouth to his with a tight grip. Not tight to hurt me but firm, making sure I do what he wants.

“I love our home,” he says. “I don’t want to change anything.”

“Are you sure? What’re your favorite colors? What’s your style? Do you prefer art or photographs?”

Briar shakes his head. “Home isn’t all those things, Noaz. Home is you and me. ”

I sigh, feeling the way my heart struggles to keep beating. How does he just naturally say the best things?

“Just tell me the kinds of things you like to live around?”

He stares into my eyes for a long time. “You’re not going to be convinced unless I tell you something, are you?”

I shrug, though there’s a very real chance I won’t.

“Okay. Let me think about it.”

“You’ll really think about it?” I challenge.

He smiles. “I promise I’ll think about it. But you have a beautiful house, Noaz. You have wonderful taste. It’s comfortable and still elegant.”

“But that’s the thing. I want this to be our house. Not mine. I don’t want it to feel like you just moved into my house and you’re living in my space. I want this to be our house and our space.”

“There’s been a ton of changes here since I moved in.”

I look at him skeptically. “Yeah?”

“I can see like eight things that weren’t here even a week ago.”

I roll my eyes, glaring at him. Briar grins. “You , Briar. Not baby, but you.”

“I’ll think about it. Promise.”

“Good. I expect a thorough, well-thought-out answer by Friday.”

He snorts, giving me an amused grin. “Oh, yeah? Please tell me there’s a punishment if my assignment is late. Or if I don’t send it in?”

Nope, heat does not flare through me. “You want a punishment? ”

Briar doesn’t answer. His amused smirk dances as he looks at me.

“Want to be spanked?”

He raises a brow. “I don’t know. I’ve never been spanked.”

I grin. “We can arrange that. Or… Ohhh, maybe I get a butt plug and you get to wear it and I have a remote to make it sing and you’re not allowed to take it out until I say.”

If I expected to get a reaction out of him, I failed. He’s still very amused as he looks at me. “You want to try that, do you?”

“Yeah, kinda. Have you tried butt stuff? Have I asked this before?”

“Not in so many words, but we touched upon it on our wedding night. No, I haven’t tried butt stuff before. I might be open to exploring it if you want to.”

“I definitely want to,” I say, nodding exaggeratingly big.

He laughs. “Okay. I think maybe a butt plug is the way to begin, yeah?”

Fuck, this man is a wet dream. “I mean, pretty close. Maybe some touching and light penetration before. How do you feel about rimming?”

I laugh this time when he makes a face. “I’m not going to take it off the table completely, but at least for now, the idea freaks me out a little.”

“Got it. Not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal if it’s important to you,” he objects.

“I’m not sure it is. Yes, I like it. Yes, I also like to be the eater. But I’m not going to feel deprived without it. ”

Briar studies me. “You’re really opening me up to a whole new world I hadn’t thought much about. I mean, I know about it. Guys are guys and sometimes we talk shop and two of my best friends are gay, so obviously I’ve heard things. But… I guess I’ve never thought about it in how it pertains to me.”

“Besides rimming, is there anything you don’t want to do?”

He shrugs. “Not off the top of my head. I anticipate being a little slow to venture into new territory each time. I might enjoy touching your dick, but I haven’t worked up to getting my mouth on it yet.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“Anxious,” he answers. “I want to, and I’m also disturbed by the idea. Like, I know all about dicks, so putting one in my mouth feels a little… dirty.”

“Dirty, dirty boy,” I tease.

Briar grins. “I’m not opposed to being dirty. Just… might take me a bit to work up to it. I think I’ll like it just fine.”

“You think so?”

“I’m obsessed with all of you, Noaz. Every last inch. Sucking your dick isn’t going to be any different.”

I sigh. “You make falling in love with you so easy.”