November Reign (Northarbor Coven #3)

11. Concessions

Concessions

Thyme

My words hung between us, creating a gulf I wasn’t sure it was possible to bridge. Everything Oak had shared buzzed through my mind, clicking into place scenes that had been off before. The strange way he looked at me, the polite rebuff after my flirting. Even the antagonism we started with, all made sense now.

Dozens of other interactions just whizzed by in my brain. Each one now with that “ah-ha!” moment in them. I felt like I finally understood Oak.

Didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I’d been pushed aside because of Basil once again. If it wasn’t my family, it was the people I had crushes on. Friends always flocked to Basil, he had the charisma, after all.

I curled my legs up under me, feeling a bone-deep chill that came from shock rather than the environment. I pulled the blanket tighter around me, as if it would protect me from everything. All the emotions running through me were too difficult to understand.

How was I supposed to deal with Oak, the man I had feelings for, deep, real feelings, who saw my big brother when he looked at me?

If anything did happen between us, like we both clearly wanted, would I be comparing myself to my brother? Would Oak be comparing me to Basil?

I guess I should be used to it. I’d always been compared to my brother. It was worse after my transition. My family saw me as lesser after that. Not because of my true gender, but because of the power I sacrificed to be my authentic self. They couldn’t understand why it was so important to me, or important enough to give up my magic.

It was all too much on a personal level, so I spun my thoughts away from that and focused on the other problem: the coven.

From experience, I knew the coven had to be told about Oak’s relationship with Basil before my brother took that away from him. Controlling the narrative was the only power Oak had in this situation.

The longer things went on, the harder it would be for the coven to trust Oak, especially once they found out about Basil.

Trust was already in short supply, with several traitors already being weeded out. Seemed we had another, if Oak’s number was being passed back to Basil. It meant someone knew Oak was something to Basil, even if they didn’t know the full story. That itself was a problem.

They either knew it was a toxic romantic thing, or they thought Oak was a key player in Basil’s schemes. His inside man. Neither scenario was good.

I closed my eyes against the brewing headache. The buzz of the alcohol was long since gone. All I wanted to do was find another drink and wash away the memory of this evening. I should have just had one drink with Oak and then gone to bed, happy with the memory of him in that sexy costume.

Now all I could see was his face as I put the pieces together.

“Thyme?”

When I opened my eyes again, I let out a little gasp against my will. Oak was right in front of me, kneeling on the hard tile floor. He was braced against the bench, boxing me in.

“I see you, I swear it,” he whispered, so close the words puffed against my face, smelling slightly of everything we had drunk through the night.

He leaned in and must have caught my hesitation, because he pressed his warm lips against my cool cheek.

“You know where I am if you want to talk.”

In a fluid movement, he stood, then sort of staggered .

“Maybe we should wait until we’re both completely sober. We’ve got a few days to work things out.”

“Do you think we can?” He was so hopeful, I couldn’t bear to crush him.

“Who knows?”

Without Oak in the kitchen, the room felt empty.

At a loss about what to do, I slipped into the comfortable routine of cleaning up. I scooped up the glasses and loaded them into the dishwasher. The empty bottles, I put in the recycling. The smell of alcohol was making me feel queasy, so I poured what remained in a couple of bottles away before adding that to the stuff to be collected.

We’d barely eaten, but I gathered up the trash then wiped down the table. There was a puddle on the floor to clean up and the blanket to fold and put away.

I knew I was focusing on the mundane tasks just to distract myself. I wanted to cry, to scream at the unfairness of it all.

Why was Basil always there first?

It was always like this when we were young. Even if the toy had been for me, he had to play with it, and usually break it, first. He got the first pick of everything while my parents overcompensated for me being chosen to be the next High Witch. They seemed to think that if they just spoiled Basil, it would make him feel better about being overlooked because I had more magic than him.

Done with the kitchen, I decided to take a shower. My face itched with the makeup I’d applied for the damn costume.

The one thing this mansion had going for it was the massive water tank and the pressure of the shower. The water pummeled me while I gave into my feelings and cried.

Things always looked better after a cry, didn’t they?

I stood under the spray long after I was clean, just wishing for an easier life. One where Oak hadn’t fallen into Basil’s life. Where he’d waited for me to come along and be the man of his dreams. I snorted an inelegant sound, then laughed. As if life would be that kind.

Feeling like my thoughts were taking a more maudlin turn, I turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and got out.

Under the bright lights of the bathroom, my hair was dark red, almost the color of blood, while my skin was paper white. My freckles were paler this close to winter and dotted over my nose and both cheeks .

My eyes were pretty, the same blue as Damon’s true color without the colored contacts, with long dark eyelashes and nicely shaped dark brown eyebrows.

At least I was decent looking, powerful, strong. Once all this was over, if things with Oak went bad or he decided to give Basil another go, I knew I would be able to move on somewhere new.

When everything was done, I’d leave Northarbor and start fresh.

I took my time moisturizing my face and body, brushing my teeth and hair before slipping into a pair of boxers and climbing into bed.

Another thing the mansion did right was the beds. They were all kings and had the most comfortable mattresses.

Didn’t help me sleep, though.

Hours went by without any rest. All I could think about was Oak lying in his room thinking his time with the coven was over because I was rejecting him.

Unable to stand it any longer, I got out of bed. I tiptoed through the halls to his room, then knocked on the door.

“Oak?”

There was a moment of silence. I wondered if he had been able to sleep.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come in? ”

A beat passed.

“Please.” It came out so ragged, I rushed to get to him. I hauled open the door and scurried to his side.

He pulled up the comforter, letting me slip in beside him.

I wrapped my arms around him, tugging his head to my chest as he broke down and sobbed against me. He let everything out. All his worry, fear, anger he had for his situation and all Basil had done to him. In this, he was as much a victim as we were.

He wasn’t complicit in Basil’s crimes, though I wasn’t sure the others would see it that way. We had to make concessions for Oak. He’d been a guy who liked another guy. It wasn’t like he’d been by Basil’s side as he stole Oak’s sister’s magic.

How many of the coven would believe this wasn’t a part of Basil’s schemes?

For a long time we lay together in his bed, Oak wrapped around me, his head resting under my chin, my fingers smoothing his hair back as he cried. His hair was just as silky as it looked, his skin as soft against my body.

Being there for him made everything hurt less for me. Being his strength made me feel stronger, like we could weather this .

In this, he was choosing me. I was his comfort. Having him turn to me in his moment of need soothed something for me. It papered over a crack in my heart.

His sobs slowed. He pressed a couple of kisses on my collarbone. “Thank you,” he whispered.

I wasn’t sure where we went from here.

“Just for tonight, okay? I’ll stay with you just for tonight.”

Promising more was foolish. I knew better. There would be a time soon where I would have to choose: my coven, my little brother, or Oak. I didn’t know if I loved him enough to give it all up.