O Goalie Night (The Ottawa Otters #1)

Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

FOSTER

T ime flies when you’re having fun.

That would explain why the last two days have crawled by. Every miserable minute dragged out as long as possible.

We were supposed to fly out of Chicago last night, heading home after the game, but a snowstorm had other plans. Thick flakes started falling in the afternoon as the winds picked up, and by the time we were ready to leave, the city was blanketed in white. All flights grounded indefinitely. We were storm-stayed, forced to hunker down in the hotel for another night.

Will tried to get a game of poker going, but no one was in the mood. Ben didn’t want to see me, Austin didn’t want to see Ben, and the only person I wanted to see was eight hundred miles away.

Twenty-four hours later, when the worst of the storm passed, we finally boarded our flight and made it out of the snow-covered city.

True to his word, Ben hasn’t spoken to me. I’m trying to give him his space and let him process the idea of Beth and I, but it’s hard.

It’s like I’ve lost a brother all over again.

I’ve been in constant contact with Beth. She says she’s okay, but I can tell Ben’s reaction to learning about us is stressing her out. Her voice sounds strained when we talk.

What if he never gets on board with it? Never accepts the two of us together?

The thought of causing a rift in Beth’s close-knit family has been keeping me awake at night.

It’s after midnight when the car drops me off at home. I enter the house quietly, even though I don’t think for a minute she’ll be asleep.

My suspicions are confirmed when she barrels into my chest before I even take off my coat. I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair, savouring the feel of her.

“I missed you,” she mumbles into my chest. Despite how warm she feels in my arms, she’s trembling like a leaf.

“I missed you, too.”

She pulls away just enough to give me a smile, but I don’t miss the sadness on her face. Worry lines etch her forehead and her tired eyes tell me I’m not the only one losing sleep.

And I feel responsible. For all of it. Her sadness, her worry, her exhaustion.

I thought everything would become clear once I saw her, but seeing the toll this has taken on her makes me more confused than ever.

“Let’s get some sleep.” I smooth her hair away from her face and bring my lips to her forehead. “You’ve got work in the morning.”

She nods sleepily, and we walk hand in hand to my bedroom. Once in bed, she curls into me, and within minutes she’s fast asleep in my arms. I hold her like I’m scared I might lose her.

Because I am.

I wake to find myself alone. Beth’s side of the bed is cold and I’m scrambling before I’m even fully conscious.

A dozen worst case scenarios swirl through my mind as I stumble through the house in search of her. They all end with her being gone. When I find her getting ready for work in the kitchen, I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

She’s still here.

“Morning,” she says as she crosses the room towards me. She gives me a kiss that’s not nearly long enough to calm my frazzled nerves before going back to packing her lunch.

“Morning,” I collapse into a stool and attempt to get my heart rate under control. “I didn’t hear you get up.”

“I tried not to wake you,” she admits. “You looked like you were dead on your feet when you got home.”

So did you , I want to say but don’t.

“It’s been a rough few days,” I admit. “Have you heard from your family again?”

Beth winces as she pours coffee into her travel mug. The last time we spoke, she’d been flooded by calls and texts from her parents and sisters. Ben, of course, alerted them of our situation and didn’t hold back voicing his disapproval.

“I have.” She doesn’t meet my eyes.

“And?”

An entire war is happening on her face as she finds her words. “And everyone is upset. Tara is hurt that I didn’t tell them about you. It’s not that I didn’t want to, of course, but she can’t keep anything to herself. Ally’s not taking sides, she’s just upset that everyone isn’t getting along. Mom and Dad seem more concerned about Ben than anything else, like usual. They’re disappointed that I upset him. They said he’s got so much on his plate, he doesn’t need to be worrying about me on top of everything. My dad even went so far as to suggest that I should move back home. Because it would be better for Ben.”

The wobble in her voice has me on my feet and moving towards her. I wrap my arms around her protectively, wishing I could shield her from everything.

“They want me to stay with him until Christmas.”

I expected as much, but it’s still a hard pill to swallow.

“What did you say?”

She laughs but there’s no humour in it. “I told them ‘Maybe I just shouldn’t come home at all.’”

I think about the years I’ve been on my own. About the family I lost to circumstances outside of my control, and the brother I might not have lost if I’d done things differently. Beth shouldn’t have to choose between me and her family.

But if her family can’t see that right now, I don’t want to be the reason she loses them. If I put a wedge between her and the people she loves most, she’ll eventually start to resent me for it .

I squeeze her tighter to me and say the words I don’t want to.

“Maybe they’re right.”

Her head snaps up, confusion on her face.

“What?”

“Not about everything, obviously. Just about staying with Ben.”

“You want me to leave?”

“Beth, I promise that is the last thing that I want.” I cup her chin and stroke her cheek. “I haven’t had a family for a long time and I don’t want to be the reason yours falls apart. You’re leaving for home in less than a week. Maybe if you stay with him, he’ll calm down enough for you to be able to get through to him.”

She doesn’t meet my eyes as she slips out of my embrace. Her arms cross over her chest as she keeps her gaze on the floor. “Maybe.”

Shit. She’s second-guessing herself and it’s because of me.

“You know I want you to stay, right?” I take her hand, desperate to hold on to her.

She nods and gives me an unconvincing “Of course,” before pulling away. “I’d better get to work.”

Panic builds in my chest as I start to worry that I’m losing her.

“I’ve got practice with the team this afternoon, but we can talk more tonight, okay?”

More nodding. “Sure.”

I walk her to the door, more and more convinced that I’ve said the wrong thing as she takes off her ridiculous pompom slippers and slips on her winter boots. She puts on her coat before pressing her lips to mine and I watch her go, praying it’s not the last time.

Practice is brutal. We’ve lost the last two games and morale is low. Coach heard about what happened at the bar in Chicago and has been particularly harsh on the four of us.

Beth has been quiet in our texts and I’m trying not to read too much into it. It’s the last week of school before Christmas break and I’m sure she’s run off her feet keeping the kids in line.

Still, when I pull into an empty driveway my heart sinks. She should have gotten home from school an hour ago.

My spirits lift as I hear a car pulling in behind me as I’m hopping out of my truck, but the moment is quickly gone.

Ben’s ostentatious sports car is driving towards me.

Perfect .

Shaking my head, I start for the door. It’s been a shitty day and I expect it’s about to get a lot worse. I pull my phone out to text Beth.

Foster: Hey. I just got home. Are you on your way?

I decide I had better give her a warning that we’re not alone.

Foster: Your brother is here .

Unlocking the door I walk into the quiet house. I sense Ben on my heels and fight the urge to close the door in his stubborn face.

The higher road sucks sometimes.

“I’m here to get Beth,” he says, standing imposingly in the doorway.

“Does she know that?”

He glares at me. “I texted her earlier to say I was picking her up.”

I extend my arms and look around my empty foyer. “Well, she’s clearly not here, so close the door. You’re letting out all the heat.”

“Where the fuck is she?” He steps in and slams the door shut.

“I don’t know, she probably–”

That’s when I notice that her fuzzy pompom slippers aren’t by the door where she left them this morning.

I try to remain calm as I take my phone out again and call Beth. It goes to voicemail.

Ben follows me into the house, lamenting about something, but I’m not listening. I’m looking for further signs to confirm my theory.

The thick paperback she’s been reading in the evenings is no longer on the coffee table.

Her navy Canada Games hoodie is missing from the back of the kitchen chair.

I drag myself down the hallway and look into her room, finding exactly what I was both expecting and dreading.

A neatly made bed and vacant room.

No suitcase. No clothes in the closet. No Beth .

The silence weighs heavily on me as I walk back into the living room to find Ben looking unimpressed.

“Well?”

“She’s gone.”

“What do you mean ‘gone?’”

I run my hands through my hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. “I mean, all of her stuff is no longer here. She must have come home after school and packed up everything.”

“Where did she go?”

Where did she go? She doesn’t know many people in the area yet and the rental she secured isn’t available until the New Year. I remember that she’s hung out with Kim a couple of times and am about to text Alexei when something in the kitchen snags my eye.

On the island countertop rests a piece of light blue snowflake paper and I snap it up, my eyes recognizing Beth’s handwriting.

Foster,

I’ve decided to stay with Tamara for a few nights. I’m sorry for not talking to you about it first, but I was afraid you would try to talk me out of it. It’s still a compromise, but at least it’s on my terms.

Just like you don’t want to come between me and my family, I don’t want to come between you and your team. So you focus on hockey, I’ll focus on my family, and we’ll figure out everything else together.

I hope this doesn’t read like a goodbye letter, because that’s not what this is. Despite the fact I’m leaving, I promise you’re not losing me.

Good luck in Tampa. I’ll be wearing your number and cheering you on.

Love, Beth

I read the note three times, the pressure in my chest easing but not disappearing entirely.

I promise you’re not losing me.

Then why does it feel like exactly that? I’m proud of Beth for standing up to her family and choosing her own path. But at the same time, I can’t help feeling frustrated with myself for ever suggesting she leave. I want her here—with me.

Ben stalks into the kitchen. “Well?”

“She’s staying with her coworker, Tamara.”

He doesn’t hide his irritation. “But I told her I’d pick her up and she could stay with me.”

I shake my head, my patience officially spent. “Yeah. You told her, Ben. Maybe if you’d asked her, she’d have told you she didn’t want to do that.”

“Fine,” he scoffs. “As long as she’s not staying here, with you.” He turns to leave but stops and turns back. “Just to be clear, you’re going to stay away from her.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You listen to– ”

“No, you listen to me.” I push away from the island, facing him head on. “Your friendship has meant a lot to me over the years. It made me feel less alone and I never meant to take it for granted. I didn’t mean to fall for your sister, but it happened and I’m not sorry. Beth healed a part of me that I thought would always be broken. As long as she wants me, I’m going to be here. Because I’m hers. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but at the end of the day, it’s not about you.”

I stand there, half expecting him to take a swing at me. I don’t care if he hits me. If he does, the pain probably won’t even register.

He swallows hard, then turns and walks toward the front door. As soon as the door closes, I pull out my phone and text Beth.

Foster: I got your note. Take as much time as you need, love. I’m not going anywhere.