EPILOGUE
Ben
“ W hat are we doing to celebrate our last night of freedom?”
Beth and Foster exchange a look as they walk hand in hand a few feet ahead of me. We just grabbed lunch at a new deli downtown and are making our way back to Foster’s car. I adjust the brim of my ball cap to shield my eyes from the midday sun. Even though we’re into September, it’s thirty-five degrees today.
My sister glances back at me with a hesitant but kind smile. “I think we’re overdue to have a quiet night in, if that’s okay?”
It’s not like I was suggesting we go clubbing. I don’t do that anymore.
“Works for me. You guys want to watch a movie? I hear the new Secret Service one is good. You know, Bug; the one with your other boyfriend in it. ”
Beth rolls her eyes. “For the last time, Ben, I don’t have a crush on Glen Powell.”
“Sure you don’t, Kiddo.” She actually doesn’t, but every time I insinuate she does, the veins in Foster’s neck bulge like he’s about to go from Bruce Banner to the Hulk. It’s hilarious.
“Don’t you have anything else to do tonight?” Foster frowns at me. His sunglasses hide his eyes, but I’m certain he’s glaring at me behind them. “Laundry? Food prep? Making new friends?”
Beth elbows him in the ribs, but Foster merely throws an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer.
“Mom did all my laundry yesterday.”
“Of course she did,” my sister snorts.
We got back to the city last night after a visit to Prince Edward Island. It was one of the best trips home that I can remember.
The weather was incredible. We rented a five-bedroom luxury cottage on the north shore of the Island while we were there, and for twenty-one days, it was nothing but beach, lobster boils, and family time. Having Foster there made it even better. It was nice to have someone to train with while home since Mom and Grandma seemed hell-bent on outdoing one another in the kitchen.
My best friend fits into my family like a missing puzzle piece. Dad loves having someone else to talk hockey with and Mom is thrilled to have someone new to mother. Even Tara, Destroyer of Worlds and Queen of Darkness, seems to like him.
Most importantly, he makes Beth incredibly happy. In the ten months since she moved here, I’ve seen her really come into her own. She’s more confident, more sure of herself. When a permanent grade five teaching position opened up at Stittsville Elementary, she didn’t hesitate to apply—and she got it. She loves it there, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
It’s been an adjustment for me—not just sharing my best friend with my sister, but getting used to how much Fozzie smiles now that he’s with Beth. It’s like seeing Scrooge after his night with the haunted trio; you’re happy for him, it just takes some getting used to.
Sometimes he’s borderline cheerful. It’s…unnerving.
“What Foster is trying to say is that we’re just going to stay in and get ready for the busy week ahead of us,” Beth explains as we come to a stop at an intersection and wait to cross.
In other words, I’m not invited.
“Of course, that makes sense,” I say with a shrug. “I’ve got stuff to do, too.”
I don’t.
But Beth’s not the only one making big changes. I’ve been working hard at following my baby sister’s advice to stop thinking with my dick. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been letting that particular appendage call the shots for the last ten years.
Since Christmas, I’ve curtailed my night life, focusing on hockey, family, and friends–and it’s been good. Weekly hangouts with Beth have helped us get to know one another better and now we’re closer than ever. There have also been more poker nights with Foster, Will, and Austin. Foster’s brother Cody joins when he can and has been a great addition to our motley crew.
My stats improved in the last few months of the season. We didn’t make it to the finals, but we came close, ending up losing in the Eastern Conference Championship to the eventual cup winners. Still, by buckling down, I made my career my top priority. The late nights were taking a toll on my playing, but my summer training was intense and now my routine is tighter than ever. Training camp starts tomorrow and I’ve never felt so ready to get back on the ice.
Even with these positive changes, I still feel like something is missing in my life. While I’ve loved spending more time with Beth and Foster, it’s hard not to feel like a third wheel, and I’ve been thinking of taking on a project to fill my spare time. Something that’s just for me.
“I think I’d like to volunteer with Big Buddies this year.” It’s the first time I’ve voiced the idea out loud, but I've been considering it for months. Big Buddies is a local organisation that matches mentors with kids who need positive role models.
“Ben, that’s a wonderful idea!’ Beth beams at me. “I know students enrolled in the program and have only heard good things. Besides, you’re so great with kids.”
“Probably because he is one,” Foster adds with a smirk.
“I liked you better when you were lonely, man. Dating my sister has given you too much personality.”
“Deal with it,” he chuckles happily. “Seriously though, I think you’d make a great mentor for someone. I definitely could have used someone like you in my life when I was growing up.”
A lump forms in my throat at Foster’s endorsement. He’s not one to inflate my ego, so coming from him means a lot. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely,” he says as we reach the car. “I think you’ll be a great role model for some kid and they’d be lucky to have you. In fact…” He pulls his car keys from the pocket of his jeans, “I’m going to let you drive us home.” Foster tosses the keys at me and I catch them, stunned.
“Really? You’re letting me drive Sexy Lexie?”
My friend frowns at me. “That’s not her name.”
“That’s my name for her.”
“You don’t get to name my car.”
“Too late, I already did.”
“ You’re making me regret all the nice things I just said to you.”
“No take backs,” I laugh while jogging around to the driver’s side and unlocking the door. Before I open it, my eye catches a glimpse of something across the street that stops me in my tracks.
Red hair. The colour of a sunset. The bright, intense kind that makes it look like the entire sky is ablaze; the kind of fiery hue that makes everything around it seem dimmer in comparison.
And I’ve only ever seen it on one person.
She can’t really be here. I’m certain it’s just my mind playing tricks on me like it’s done every time I’ve seen a flash of red hair for the last decade. Conjuring up images out of pure longing that aren’t really there. But the longer I look, the more sure I am that this time it’s real. She’s real.
Thankfully, there’s no traffic, because if there were, I’d have walked right into it without even noticing. My feet move on autopilot, drawn into her orbit just like they were when I was sixteen.
Her head is down as she digs through an oversized purse. Maybe for keys, or her wallet for the parking meter. I walk toward her slowly, like approaching a deer in the forest—any sudden movement, and she might bolt. I don’t even blink out of fear she’ll vanish.
“Ben?” I hear Beth calling from across the street. And so does Madelyn. I watch her entire body stiffen as she lifts her head and frantically scans the area. When her eyes land on me, she freezes.
All I can do is stare. Her blue eyes meet mine—those same eyes I’ve never been able to forget. So clear and honest, always seeing straight through me, even when I tried to hide. My gaze drifts over the freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, down to her mouth—the lips I kissed more times than I can count. She wasn’t my first kiss, but the moment my lips touched hers I knew I never wanted to kiss anyone else. Now, I can’t help but wonder if they still taste like the strawberry lip balm she was always applying.
“Ben?” Her voice, barely audible, triggers a wave of memories I’ve spent a decade trying to forget. Memories of the happiest years of my life. When we were young, reckless, and stupidly in love. When I was hers and she was mine.
My Madelyn.
My eyes catch a flash of the large diamond ring on her left hand as it glints in the sunlight, and reality hits me like a freight train.
She hasn’t been mine for a long time and it hurts more than I can describe. Because despite the years and distance, I’m still hopelessly in love with the woman standing in front of me.
“Hey, Madness.”