Obsession (Dangerous Love #1)

CHAPTER 13

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PROMISES AND SECRETS

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I immediately jumped out of bed and ran towards him, then opened the balcony door for him. I had no idea when I had closed it, probably Candice and Kristen had done it.

I stepped out onto the balcony, into the cool night air, and when I saw him in front of me, safe and unharmed, I couldn’t suppress the urge to jump into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. He quickly grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer to him.

“Shh…” he tried to calm me down and breathed warm air on the top of my head. “Katherine, what happened?”

I backed away and stared at him.

“What happened?! I almost died of fright! What do you think happens when a person hears freaking shots fired on the other end of a call?”

He smiled, but I could tell it was a forced smile.

“I was just in the middle of a video game with the guys, love. I’m sorry I didn’t answer, but we are pretty involved when we play.”

Startled, I disentangled myself from his arms. I was worried sick, and he was fucking playing?!

PLAYING?!

God, how I wanted to slap him again. I could barely suppress the urge.

“You’re a moron! Stop that stupid thing and get out of my house.”

He looked at me, regret sparkling in his eyes, then grabbed my arms, my elbows resting in his palms. My palms nestled against his chest without my consent.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I could hear his heart pounding. Whatever the real reason for my fear might have been, I was relieved to see him unharmed.

“How did you manage to climb up here?” I asked, looking down over the balcony.

“You do know there’s a ladder under the plant, right?” He grinned, and I let out a slightly amused gasp.

It seemed that this plant was indeed useful, but not in the way I had imagined. I had to get rid of it.

“I am really sorry,” he whispered again, more seriously than before.

The closeness became too much for me again, and I tried to move away, but I noticed a slight glow on his cheek. The light was dim, and as I tried to adjust my sight, I saw what looked like a scratch on his skin.

Instinctively, I reached for it and traced it with my fingertip.

“What’s this?” He touched his face, feeling over the injury he did not seem to know about.

“Nothing, probably just a scratch from the fight I had with Jay after he lost the game.”

He could find an explanation for everything, but his eyes didn’t lie as much as he did. I was sure he was hiding something, but I decided to let it go for now. It was clear that he wasn’t going to tell me the truth anyway, and I’d had enough of the lies. All I wanted was for him to stop the doll from crying and leave so I could finally go to sleep.

I couldn’t get his voice from the phone call out of my head: anxious, angry, serious. And the sounds that had surrounded him seemed far too real to have come from a video game.

He walked slowly past me and entered my room, while I felt my fingers, which had touched his wound, slightly damp.

I followed him in and watched intently as he took the doll off the bed and silenced it by pressing his finger on the designated square. Ah, how sweet the silence was.

He smiled as he looked at the doll and carefully placed it back on the bed before turning his attention back to me.

In the light, the scratch was more visible and drops of blood were forming on the fresh wound. I stepped closer to him and scrutinized him. He was annoying me, lying to me, but I couldn’t leave him like that.

I walked past him and tried to leave the room, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him.

“Katherine, scold me, insult me, hit me…. I deserve it, but please, don’t treat me with indifference,” he spoke and the sadness in his tone surprised me.

He pressed his forehead to mine, and I swallowed, taken aback by his words and gesture. I’d never seen him so affected by my reactions, and it was the first time I hadn’t shown him how angry he actually made me.

“He knows what he’s doing, he’s going to mess with your brain in ways you can’t even imagine.” I remembered Kristen’s words, but since I was repeating the same mistakes, I ignored them. Placing a palm on his massive chest, I slowly pushed him toward my bed and made him sit down.

“I’ll do that later,” I said, looking down at him, eliciting a smile.

I left the room and went to the bathroom in the hallway. Luckily, I had a fireman for a father, so the first aid kit was a must for him. I took out a few bandages and a bottle of disinfectant, closed the lid and put it back in the cupboard.

Back in my room, Harris was waiting on the bed, just as I had left him.

I walked over to him, bit my lip, and got down on my knees in front of him, then opened the lid of the bottle and the strong smell of alcohol hit me.

I grabbed his chin and turned his face to the left side so that I could easily clean his wound.

The blood had started to drip down to his neck. I pressed on the small abrasion a few times and he didn’t even react to the stinging. He watched me intently as I cleaned him. Too attentively. I felt scary weird in this position, and the room seemed to get even hotter. I had to move between his legs to get closer to his face. His hands were on his knees, uncharacteristically docile, while I did what I had to do.

As soon as I finished cleaning the abrasion and tried to stand up, his arms wrapped around my waist like two chains.

I had fought so hard not to open my mouth, not to ask any questions about Tristan. We both stood up, his fingers tangled in my hair, and he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“You defended me. You said I was with you for at least an hour.”

My breath caught in my throat for a moment. He brought it up so brutally, as if he’d just been waiting for me to bring it up, and he was losing his patience.

I bit my lip and nodded, Harris moving closer to me, so close I could feel his whisper on my face.

“Why? Why did you say it? You knew the trouble you’d get yourself into for giving false statements.”

I lifted my head to look at him and swallowed again. My heart began to pound harder, and I didn’t know why. His eyes were capable of leaving me breathless, and I lost myself in their depth, in the curiosity I could read in them.

I could have told him that I didn’t think he was guilty of this crime, that the evidence against him was weak and that I wasn’t going to be the nail in his coffin.

“Because it was about you,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t have testified against you even if I thought you were guilty, no matter the consequences. And I’d like to think you would have done the same for me.”

At that moment, something changed in his face.

A change I’d never seen before, a mixture of shock and another feeling that weakened my knees.

His arms tightened around me.

“Oh, baby,” he breathed over my lips, “you have no idea what I would be capable of doing for you.”

He gave me no time to analyze his words as his lips met mine and he took me in his arms.

The way to the bed was a blur to me, I didn’t catch when or how he moved, but I was now on my back, and he was on top of me in an instant. I was in no position to reject him in any way, I didn’t want to reject him, I needed to relive what he provoked so I could understand once again why I had risked my freedom for him without even blinking.

His lips devoured mine. His hands touched my body in all the places that drove me crazy, and when his palm slid under my T-shirt, I arched beneath him and pressed my chest against his. He moaned over my lips, then his hands moved on. One on my breasts, the other on the zipper of my jeans.

I flinched, unprepared for what was about to happen. Suddenly he pulled back and looked at me, a sharp breath escaping him as he took his hands off me.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine.

“It’s getting harder and harder,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

I was struggling to breathe normally and keep my wits about me in the situation I was in with him on top of me. I could feel that his body was much more massive and stronger than before. He covered me completely. His strength was overwhelming.

“What?” I whispered.

He didn’t open his eyes as he whispered back:

“To refrain. To keep stopping when all I want to do is be deep…,” he moved closer to my ear, his voice penetrating my pores, “… deep inside you, baby.”

My whole body shook, it was impossible not to. I didn’t even fight back against the sensations he triggered in me because sometimes he was too intense. It would have been torture to resist.

He slowly bit my earlobe, then his tongue began to play with it. I felt everything he did to me, every reaction of my body, how it responded to him. His erection was no longer a surprise. I arched into him again without thinking about it, and his arm snaked under me, his palm resting on my lower back.

“I could make love to you with nothing but whispers. Your body responds beautifully to me.”

I closed my eyes and licked my lips.

“Especially after what you did for me today without me asking … you have no idea what you have become for me, and how much I want to kiss every inch of your skin.”

His fingertips traveled over my stomach, and I whimpered, keeping my eyes closed.

“How I wish I could hear you whimper my name like you did in the bathroom today. You were so close to driving me insane.”

My toes curled and I clutched at the sheets, then forced myself to open my eyes, because I couldn’t know where we’d end up if I let myself get caught up in the feelings he was evoking.

Harris felt me pull away and pulled his head back, looking into my eyes, searching them for that mad ecstasy. He smiled when he found it, then cursed through his teeth and stood up suddenly.

In his absence I was overcome by a shocking cold, but it was better that way, because once again we had gone further than we should have.

He turned his back to me as he ran his fingers through his hair. His muscles tensed under his T-shirt, on his arms, his savage bulk and large stature reminding me how strong he really was, how capable of… killing, if he wanted to.

I tried hard not to look at him in a way other than that of a horny idiot.

What I saw did not calm me.

Harris was sexy, insanely attractive, but at the same time, he had everything he needed to be lethal.

“Did they call you to the station?” I asked, trying to clear my head.

He turned around and nodded.

“And you’re not going?”

“I don’t have to anymore.”

My eyes widened.

“They dropped the charges if there even were any. The evidence they had against me was ridiculous.”

I stood up and walked towards him.

“So… everything is all right? They are not going to come after you anymore?”

“No. At least not because of this.”

I swallowed, remembering what the detective had said, but it wasn’t the right time to think about it because the joy was too overwhelming, and I smiled in relief.

“Just because I told them we were together?”

Harris wrapped his arms around me again and hugged me to him, this time not in an erotic way.

“That was all my lawyers needed. There was no solid evidence other than what his brothers had said.”

I bit my nail.

“What about the cameras? They could easily find out you weren’t here for an hour like I said.”

“They have already checked them, don’t worry. I have taken care of it. I’m not that easy to track in traffic.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, and I wasn’t ready to ask.

“What if they ask my neighbors?”

He smiled.

“They did that too. One remembers me parking in front of the house, but he doesn’t know how long I was here. Another saw me drive away but not arrive, so he can’t say how long the visit lasted. They couldn’t clearly link their statements as neither of them could give an exact time. Your noisy neighbor across the street was the cherry on top. She said, and I quote, “Too damn long for the honor of a respectable young lady”.”

I burst out laughing.

“I think I’m beginning to love that noisy crone.”

He laughed too, then leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine. I felt him tense up a little.

“Earlier you said you’d have defended me even if you thought I was guilty. What do you really think, Katherine?”

I pulled back and looked at him.

“I could answer that question if you’d tell me more about yourself, but you’re becoming a very complicated enigma.”

“That’s not an answer to my question.”

We both frowned at the same time.

“No, it’s not, but I’ll answer honestly if you give me an honest answer in return.”

He looked at me intently for a few seconds and then nodded.

“Where were you today? Because I’m not buying all this video game bullshit, not even the scratch Jay supposedly gave you.”

His eyes narrowed and he sighed.

“I can’t answer that without dragging you too deep into a world I don’t want you in, Katherine. I’m afraid that’s the only honesty I can offer you.”

I blinked a few times.

“So, you were lying?”

“Yes.”

“But at the same time, you can’t tell me where you’ve really been.”

He nodded.

He said nothing and a lot at the same time. I tried not to think about what I’d learned from the detective, about the subtle details he’d told me about Harris’s life, and about how everything was starting to come together in my head.

“Are you alone in… whatever this is?”

His lips curled into a thin line, a sign that I’d crossed a line, and it was my turn to answer his question.

“No.”

I accepted that was all I was going to get and ran my fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes as I searched for my words.

“No, I don’t think you’re to blame for Tristan’s death, even if I don’t like how I came to that conclusion. I thought if you were really that crazy, you’d have killed Zac first.”

“I’d have killed Joshua first.”

My gaze traveled to him.

“Then Zac,” he continued as if we were talking about something completely mundane, not names on a death list.

I shook my head, exhausted.

“The whole Tristan thing was so trivial that even I forgot about it. He tried his luck but gave up as soon as I got involved. I didn’t even see him after I caught you. I had no reason to kill the guy.”

But have you ever had a reason to kill someone else?

I wanted to ask that, but I was afraid of the answer.

“And you’re not curious about who did it?”

“Are you?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“It just seems too convenient that it happened right after our incident. What would your alibi have been if it wasn’t for me, Harris?”

He ran his fingers through his hair and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I wouldn’t have had one. I was in the car, on my way to Redmond. Just me and Mike, a friend whose testimony would have meant nothing.”

I understood what he meant. His friends were in as deep as he was. I wondered how many of them there were and why exactly they were being hunted by the police. I doubted they were just dealing drugs on street corners. Were they on their own, or were they working for someone much more powerful?

Harris took my hand in his and pulled me close.

“I would have gotten out of it because they wouldn’t have found any incriminating evidence, but it would have been harder and more frustrating. Iolanda also testified in my favor, but you were the one who closed my case.”

The whole thing seemed almost ridiculous to me because I hadn’t even made my statement officially at a police station, either in writing or in front of a camera. This proved that Shane Walker didn’t really believe Harris was guilty of this crime, but that he only had a glimmer of hope of dragging Harris into a much deeper hole. He’d tried through me, but having gotten nowhere, he’d just given up. It was almost divine luck that none of my neighbors’ testimonies could help him.

“That detective seemed intent on catching you.”

He frowned suddenly.

“Did Walker speak to you directly?”

I nodded, and Harris cursed through his teeth.

“That son of a bitch is a thorn in my side. Don’t ever talk to him again without a warrant.”

His sudden anger didn’t surprise me; I’d already suspected their relationship. Harris looked at me, a shocked smile on his face.

“I can’t believe you managed to trick him. He can be very persistent when he wants something.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m also very persistent when I want to protect someone.” I took the paper out of my pocket and unfolded it. “He even left me a present.”

Harris took it from my hand and looked at it for a moment, then crumpled it in his fist and threw it away. He didn’t seem particularly shocked that he was being followed and photographed.

He stood in front of me again and dominated me with his tall stature.

“I don’t want…” he broke off in mid-sentence and turned his head towards the door.

I immediately heard footsteps in the corridor.

I let out a startled breath,

Oh, God, that was the last thing I needed. When had my father returned? I looked at Harris, despair in my eyes, almost begging him to leave, but he only seemed amused at the look on my face.

“If my father catches you in here, I’m dead,” I whimpered.

“Why? After all, I’m the father of your child.”

I narrowed my eyes in annoyance. I couldn’t believe he would say something like that at a time like this.

“That’s not funny, Harris. You have to go,” I whispered.

“It’s much harder to go down than it is to climb up the ladder,” he whispered back, grabbing my hand reassuringly before I could start walking up and down the room.

I froze when I heard the knock on my door.

“Katherine, you’re not asleep, honey?”

I closed my eyes and searched my mind for a lie.

“No, I’m just doing my homework,” I tried to sound as serious as possible.

I heard Harris chuckling in my ear and pressed my palm to his mouth.

“So late? Aren’t you tired?” my dad continued.

I had to get rid of him, especially since Harris wouldn’t help me and lowered his hands to my back, placing them on my butt and pinching me. I hit him on the shoulder with my other hand, but that didn’t calm him down.

If my father caught me like that, my life would be over.

“No, I’m not!”

I almost whimpered. Harris began to draw electrifying circles on my palm with his tongue. This asshole, I couldn’t believe he would do something like this.

“Can I come in to talk for a bit?”

I flinched violently, ready to push Harris away from me. He, too, pulled back to assume a more decent posture, but his palms remained in place. I pushed them away from me.

“Not now, Dad, I need quiet.”

I could not think of anything better to say while Harris looked at the door. I sensed no fear emanating from him, which sent an unsettling shiver down my spine. He didn’t care if my father entered or not. I shuddered at the thought that my father could have attacked him, and Harris would have lost control.

“Dad, please, leave me alone,” I shouted when he insisted again, my desperation compounded by the image of the two of them arguing.

“All right, then. I just wanted to let you know that the detective called. Harris is no longer a suspect. It seems your statement has been confirmed.”

I ran my fingers through my hair, already sweating.

“Great,” was all I said.

Harris smiled; I didn’t understand why. The fact that my father mentioned his name seemed to amuse him.

“All right, good night,” my father added, then I heard his footsteps moving away.

I expelled all the air in the world. Luckily, my father never entered my room unless I gave him permission.

Turning my attention back to what was happening in my vicinity, I couldn’t stop myself from punching Harris in the chest.

“You idiot! Don’t you realize what would have happened if he’d caught you in here?” I scolded him in a whisper, which made him giggle.

He was right next to me again. Sometimes I had the impression that he simply materialized just a breath away from me.

“What would have happened?” he whispered.

I did not want to think about it.

“This man is my father, Harris,” I growled, hoping he’d gotten the message, “it’s not Joshua or Zac.”

His face told me he understood what I was referring to.

“I know, I’m just curious what’s going on in your head. What do you think I would have done if he had walked in?”

I sighed exhaustedly. I had no energy left for this conversation.

“You tell me.”

It was strange that we both kept whispering. He leaned over me and I could read the irritation on his face.

“So, you think I would attack your father, that shows me what you think of me.”

My lips pressed together into a line.

“That’s absurd. I didn’t think of that.”

He smiled briefly and dangerously.

“You tell such beautiful lies, Katherine.”

I wanted to hit him again.

“Fine, I thought that too, but can you blame me? Do you want me to count how many guys you have beaten up just for talking to me?”

He looked at me for a long time, too long, then his face went back to normal.

“I would never hurt your father, Katherine. Please, get that shit out of your head because I hate that you think that. I know I’m… violent sometimes, but I would never do anything to make you suffer in the slightest. Even if he had come in, even if he had tried to fight me, I wouldn’t have done anything to hurt him. I would have left or stayed to explain why I am here if he asked.”

The gentleness in his face and in his words reassured me.

“What are you doing here? What would you have said to him?” I barely whispered.

I did not really have an answer either and I didn’t think he was just there for the doll because I hadn’t had a chance to tell him about the crying.

He leaned over me again and his words stuck to my pulse, to my neck.

“I would have told him that I came to reassure you and to thank you for defending me. And to promise you that I had nothing to do with the boy’s death.”

I licked my lips, his breath still brushing my skin.

“Is that the truth?”

“Part of it is. The rest wouldn’t be good for him.”

“What’s the rest?”

He sighed over my pulse.

“You know the rest, baby.”

I had the sudden urge to laugh and could barely suppress it and sighed.

“Honestly, I don’t know anymore. You are driving me crazy, and I don’t know what you want from me anymore. You came to thank me, to stop the doll, to make sure I…”

“I came because I missed you.”

His words, barely a whisper, stopped mine. He kissed my neck.

I remembered Kristen’s words again. About the tattoo, about Harris’s obsession with his girlfriends, and his lips were now over the spot where Amber’s tattoo was.

“You’re not going to give me that tattoo, Stone!”

His body tensed instantly at the sound of my words.

“You’re damn good at making my head spin, making me give in, but there’s a limit.”

I could feel his heavy breathing.

“I am not going to give it to you…” he whispered slowly, kissing my skin passionately. “I’ll make you want it yourself.”

His words annoyed and amused me at the same time. He was too confident.

“So, you’ve already thought about it? Already imagined me as one of your sex toys?”

His breath came out of his nostrils as he gripped my hips and finally pulled back so he could look me in the eye.

“Seems to me you thought about it first.”

I frowned as we stared at each other for too long, neither of us saying anything while our eyes spoke volumes.

I finally broke away from him because this conversation wasn’t going to get us anywhere. Either I would get angry and yell at him, or I would give in again and end up under him. I wasn’t sure which of the two options seemed worse.

I turned off the light because it was getting exhausting to see him so clearly, with all his overwhelming majesty in my humble bedroom. I switched on the lamp on my bedside table, which cast a dim, blood-red light into the room.

“It’s time for you to go,” I said simply.

He had not moved from the spot and jerked his head in the direction of the doll.

“What will you do if it cries again?”

I squinted my eyes as if to tell him that he couldn’t fool me. The doll hadn’t cried since he’d stopped it, and I had the impression that it was going to shut up for the rest of the night, just like the teacher had said.

“Go, Harris,” I repeated, with more authority.

He smiled, but I could not read his face, and that frustrated me.

“After you answer a question.”

I nodded and let my head fall back.

“Shoot.”

“What would you have told your father about me?”

His question caught me off guard and I glared at him.

“I would have supported what you said.”

He continued to smile as he stepped closer.

“Now I realize I didn’t come up with anything interesting. You told them I was here for at least an hour; he knows that for a fact. What did you tell him we did during that hour?”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“He didn’t ask.”

His smile widened.

“Good to know.”

“What’s good to know?”

“That he doesn’t really care that I want to climb you up every wall in this house.”

His sentence no longer had the impact he was going for, and I clenched my jaw.

“Like you’re climbing Amber up the wall in her house? Or that redhead?”

The frustration on his face was obvious.

“Why do you always have to ruin these moments?” he asked, exasperated.

His eyes looked so dark in the red light, but still unmistakably beautiful.

“You said you liked that about me, remember?” I replied.

He giggled.

“I like everything about you!”

I tried to stay strong, not to react. Before I could kick him out again, he said:

“I’ve never set foot in Amber’s house, and the redhead isn’t what you think it is, love,” He whispered, and I wished he’d just call me “baby”.

For fuck’s sake! I tried not to believe his words because I knew he was lying and asking him what it was wouldn’t magically make him tell the truth.

“Whatever. You asked, I answered. Now please go,” I went to the dresser to get my pajamas, and I desperately needed a shower and some relaxation. “I don’t want to find you here when I get back,” I demanded, causing him to give me a skeptical and amused look. “I am serious, Harris,” I continued, raising my index finger as if to scold him.

He finally nodded.

Part of me was relieved, and I mentally kicked the part of me that wanted Harris with me all night.

Before any silly thoughts overcame me, I walked past him and out of my room. I was surprised he didn’t stop me, but it was better that way. Better for me.

I crossed the corridor on my tiptoes. It was quiet in my father’s room, so he was still asleep. I carefully closed the bathroom door behind me and locked it, because I had to be careful – considering the uninvited guest in my house. I couldn’t really feel comfortable around Harris anymore. I quickly undressed and wondered what time it was. I’d lost track of time since I’d spoken to Harris on the phone, and even then, I didn’t know what time it was.

I threw my clothes in the hamper and was shocked to see what else was in there. I grabbed the new but crumpled firefighter suit – all red with silver reflective stripes. So, my father really had found a new job.

And I imagined all sorts of scenarios about his whereabouts and his erratic schedule. I closed the lid of the already full laundry basket and made a mental note to do the laundry and tidy up the house a bit. I had to do my part somehow for underestimating him so far. What had I been thinking? That he had found someone else? I shook my head, annoyed at my own hypothesis.

The bathroom window was open, and I could clearly hear the engine. I knew it so well: he was gone.

A deep sigh escaped my lips. I was relieved. It was better this way because Harris was dangerous to me. He was dangerous in more and more ways.

But… why did I suddenly feel empty and sad about his departure? Why did my entire body ache and my heart start to burn?

Because I knew where he was going.

He left me, I kicked him out, but he always had other options.

That was the truth and I had to admit it. Harris wasn’t a guy who had to fight for attention, not when he was getting it from everywhere. Why did he have to fight for me when Amber’s body was so available?

The anger and pain almost made me cry, then I cursed my stupidity. The state this guy had brought about in just a few days….

I stepped under the stream of water and allowed the warmth to surround me. I needed to wash away his touch, his breath on my skin, those sweet, poisonous words. I turned the water as hot as I could, so hot I could feel my skin burning, and I winced in pain. I needed it, anything to forget him.

When I got out of the shower, I went straight to the window, the cool night air feeling divine on my heated skin. I dried it off quickly and changed into a pair of pajama shorts and a white tank top. It was my usual sleepwear, but now it felt uncomfortable against my body. What the hell had I been thinking, cooking myself like this? As if that could have really erased what Harris had done to me.

I ran the brush through my wet hair a few times, which I was sure would look like a haystack tomorrow, but I didn’t feel like blow-drying it. I hurriedly brushed my teeth and felt my stomach protesting with hunger. Once again, I hadn’t eaten anything.

Well done, Katherine! You’re back on drugs and you’ve stopped eating. You’re on the right track.

I had stopped criticizing myself because there were many people who did that for me.

I stepped out of the bathroom and thought about going downstairs and eating something, but it wasn’t worth the effort.

My room was empty. It was silent.

I took a deep breath, looked around and tried not to think about him, not to think about how lonely I suddenly felt in this bedroom that was still unfamiliar to me.

I switched off the light on my bedside table because I felt the need to wrap myself in darkness.

Harris had left the balcony door open, so I went to close it. My skin was still burning, so I stepped out into the cool night air and immediately felt a palm on my mouth before I could scream.

The smell of tobacco emanating from his hand and his breath filled my nostrils.

The dim light from the fluorescent tube on the street helped to clear his features a little and my horror ceased.

Harris pushed me back and pressed the cigar against the wall before throwing it over the banister. He closed the door and drew the curtains, and only then did he remove his palm from my mouth.

We sank into deep darkness; I couldn’t see anything, but I could feel him. He was frozen next to me. I knew he was leaning down as his breath clung to my lips.

“Before I…” he whispered and broke off.

He took a deep breath as he touched me, then hugged me tightly.

“Why are you so hot?”

I heard myself giggle.

“Literally or figuratively?”

“Both at the moment.”

My amusement evaporated as Harris’s palms caressed my arms and his lips touched my neck. In that moment, I realized he was still here, and what that meant. His breath smelled like tobacco, and his skin was so seductively cold that I wanted to cling to him.

“I tried not to think about you anymore, about the fact that you had gone to… her. Boiling water was a quick and painful fix.”

I wanted so badly to see his face, to see what his features were expressing at that moment. The sudden tension made me shiver, and not at all because I was cold.

“I left,” Harris whispered, pressing his forehead to mine, “then I came back.”

“Why?” I whispered back.

“Because I’ve realized that there’s no place I would rather be. No other person I’d rather spend the night with. I want you. Only you…”

My breath fell heavily as his hand massaged my back and I could no longer suppress the lustful whimper.

I didn’t flinch as Harris took me in his arms. I had no idea how he’d managed to find the bed in the thick blackness that surrounded us, but he was already on top of me. His lips knew mine. I was no longer a secret to him.

His mouth conquered mine with hunger and passion, his tongue slipped through my lips and took possession of mine. He bit my lower lip, growled, and every fiber of my body responded to him.

I flinched under his lips and didn’t know if I wanted it to stop or continue. My brain was no longer making logical connections.

His cold palm snuck under my tank top and gently caressed my skin. When it reached the underside of my breast, I whimpered, and he stopped. I wasn’t wearing a bra anymore, and if we crossed that line, there would probably be no way to stop us.

He lifted his head and inhaled deeply, I could feel him, but I could not see anything. All I could see were stars, ignited by my electrified hormones.

“Tell me to go.”

His plea surprised me, and I did not know how to respond.

“Tell me to go, Katherine,” his forehead leaned over mine.

“You can go if you want,” I barely whispered.

“That’s the problem: I don’t want to go; I think that’s already clear. I want…” he paused and sighed deeply.

I knew what he wanted; I didn’t need to ask again. What really scared me was that I wanted it too.

I realized that I was happy.

I hadn’t felt that for so long that I had forgotten to even recognize it.

I was happy that he had come back. That he hadn’t gone to… someone else.

“Fuck,” he groaned angrily and pressed his face into the pillow, then sat back up. “Let me stay the night. I promise not to try anything, but I want to sleep next to you and find out what is happening to us.”

“What do you think is happening to us?”

“I don’t know, Katherine, that’s the problem. I hate sleeping next to someone, anyone, but suddenly I want to hold you all night.”

I bit my lip, my heart losing control as I fought to keep my wits about me.

“They told me you’d drive me so crazy that I wouldn’t be able to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.”

I smiled bitterly and brushed a finger over his lip as I found it in the darkness. He still had his arms around me, and it seemed like he wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

“Who told you that?”

“Isn’t it true?”

He exhaled through his nose and reached for something. The light came on, and Harris looked me straight in the eye.

“Yes, it is. I’m not surprised people say that about me, but I have never had anyone drive me crazy in return.”

I giggled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“That’s ‘driving me crazy’ reverse psychology.”

He chuckled and pulled me closer to him.

“Whatever I tell you now, you’re going to believe the same thing.”

I had to admit he was right, and he chuckled again as I started to like that sound more and more.

“So, should I go?”

“You tried once and failed.”

“I didn’t really ask to stay the first time either. Now I’m asking you, and I promise nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I think you forget our past with promises like that.”

He rubbed his nose against mine, a gesture so sweet it melted me.

“Yes, baby. I think you already know what I want, but it doesn’t matter now. This thing between us started out so fucking wrong and I have to stop, I have to resist you, even if…” he sighed again, “it’s hard. It’s never been this hard. Not with anyone. But I’ll do it for you, I’ll abstain for as long as it takes because you start believing horrible things about me, comparing yourself to a sex toy or that I’d start a fight with your father. You believe what others say about me and… You’re right, because all I have done so far is attack you like a horny animal or attack anyone who touched you. I am all that, I admit it, all I want to do sometimes is take from you, sink my teeth into you because you drive me insane and I get jealous out of nowhere, but there are parts of me you haven’t had a chance to get to know. Let me stay the night.”

I exhaled audibly. Part of me wanted to kick him out because I knew it was the right thing to do. Everything that had happened between Harris and I was wrong in every way, because despite all the things he’d told me, he was still with her. When I looked into his eyes and felt his touch on my skin, I couldn’t find the words to kick him out again, not after the joy I felt when he came back.

I had a feeling that if I kicked him out, he would never come back after everything he had confessed to me, and that thought… was killing me.

Despite all the things I knew about him, I was also extremely curious about him, about these sensations I’d never felt before. I was curious if it was just a raging sexual attraction or if it could become something more.

I stroked his cheek and smiled.

“Stay,” I whispered.

He smiled too, then leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine.

We both closed our eyes and let the other’s energy intoxicate us.

That night, Harris kept his promise.