One Big Happy Family

Chapter 5

5

Dana limped into her condo from the garage. She was sore, she was hungry and she was crabby. Not a great combination. Most people waited until after the first of the year to begin their “new me” program, but she’d wanted to get a head start. She was doing a beginner yoga class at the Y two nights a week and had promised herself to only eat low carb until she left for the cabin. She still hadn’t fit any kind of aerobic exercise into her routine. She wasn’t one to get up at five to go walk on the treadmill for an hour. Instead, she’d been strolling around her office building at lunch, which was, unfortunately, making her coworkers nervous.

Still, progress was being made, she thought virtuously. This was day six without wine, so yay her. Tonight, after she changed into her jammies, she would enjoy a delicious dinner of stir-fry shrimp with vegetables, served over seasoned cauliflower rice.

Okay, maybe not delicious, she amended as she dropped her bag on the table by the garage door and started flipping on lights. But healthy and that was good. She was leaving for the cabin in less than a week, when all bets were off, food-wise, but if she could lose a couple of pounds between now and then, that would be great.

She hung up her work clothes, then pulled a long sweatshirt over her yoga pants and tank top. She was starving but didn’t think there was enough shrimp and vegetables in the world to satisfy her. What she really wanted was good Chinese food—like that place by her condo that delivered. Their Honey Crispy Shrimp, maybe some Kung Pao Chicken and a carton filled with fried rice. Oh, and ribs. She wanted those spicy ribs with the sauce that dripped down her chin. She wasn’t usually a beer drinker, but with Chinese, yes please.

Her stomach growled and her mouth watered.

“Not tonight,” she told herself firmly. She was sticking to her diet until the seventeenth. Low carb and healthy. That was her. She walked back to the kitchen just as someone rang her bell.

A quick glance at the wall clock told her it was nearly seven thirty. She wasn’t expecting anyone to drop by, unless one of her neighbors was bringing a package that had been delivered to the wrong address. This time of year, that happened a lot.

She opened the door, prepared to smile at someone she recognized but couldn’t name, only to see Axel standing on her front porch.

“Hello, Dana.”

He had one of those low, sexy voices that always sounded like he should have made a career on radio as a DJ. Despite the fact that it was forty-two and raining, he wore only a black leather jacket over jeans and a T-shirt. Axel had never believed in wearing a winter coat or something to repel the rain. He wasn’t a rule follower, in or out of bed, and when the man smiled at her, she melted.

Fortunately, his expression was serious, which allowed her to stay in control and add a little indignation to her tone as she asked, her voice laced with acid, “What are you doing here?”

“I want to see you. I miss you.”

He missed her? He missed her?

“You don’t get to miss me,” she said, careful to keep the volume down. Her neighbor’s front door wasn’t all that far from hers. “You don’t get to have anything to do with me. No. Just no. You are not waltzing back into my life for a few weeks, telling me this time is different and that you get how important I am. I’m done with you, Axel. Done. You’re bad for me, and I’m not willing to play your game anymore. You always stay just long enough to get me to believe in you. Then you walk away, taking my heart with you.”

She glared at him. “Not again. Do you hear me? No more.”

His dark eyes were unreadable and nothing about his posture changed. For all she knew, he wasn’t even listening—except she knew he was. She knew he was hearing every word. The question was, this time would he listen? Or maybe the real issue was, did she want him to? Because even as she got all high-and-mighty in her righteous anger, she wanted him to do what he’d always done, which was ignore her. She wanted him to pull her close and kiss her in that way of his—like he couldn’t get enough of her and them. He’d always kissed like he meant it.

Axel pulling her close was always the best part of her day, and every fiber of her being wanted him to touch her in that way of his. When she was with him, she was fully alive. Loving him was one thing she did incredibly well.

But he didn’t make a move toward her. Instead, he nodded slowly. “You’re right. That’s what I do, but not for the reason you think.”

“You still walk away,” she told him. “I don’t know why. Sometimes I think it’s because of how your dad turned his back on you and your mom, but at this point, the reason why doesn’t matter.”

She felt herself weaken. Longing grew until she wanted to say the pain that would follow didn’t matter. Just a couple of nights with him. He was like the pre-diet binge. Tomorrow I’ll be good. Just let me have this today. Only Axel wasn’t just an extra bag of chips. While he was with her, she felt as if she could conquer the world. But when he left, she was shattered. She honestly didn’t know how many more times she could put the pieces of her heart back together.

She wanted what other people took for granted—a life partner, kids, a cute little house with a yard. Maybe a couple of cats. But she couldn’t have that while she was still missing Axel.

Gathering the little strength she had left, she forced herself to speak the truth.

“I can’t do this anymore. If you ever loved me, like you claimed, leave me be. Please.”

Something flashed in his eyes. She wanted to say it was pain, but that was probably wishful thinking on her part.

“I won’t bother you again,” he told her. “Merry Christmas, Dana.”

He turned and walked away. She watched him go, holding on to the doorframe to keep from following him. She knew if she asked, he would turn back to her, that he would follow her inside and make all her dreams come true. At least for a night or two, or maybe even through the holidays. But eventually, he would leave, because that was what Axel did best.

She shut her door and locked it, then brushed away tears. No, she told herself. No crying. He wasn’t worth it. Of that she was sure. Only the tears kept coming and the emptiness inside of her had nothing to do with the fact that she hadn’t had dinner. It was instead the place in her heart that only Axel could fill.

Julie had always been an extrovert. Back in school, she’d been the one to welcome the new kid to class and sit with them at lunch. She gave people the benefit of the doubt, liked having a crowd around and easily took control of almost any situation. When her kids had been growing up, theirs had been the house where all the friends hung out. She was the fun mom and rarely worried about not fitting in. Which made her flash of nerves both unexpected and uncomfortable.

Telling herself it was nothing, that she would be fine, didn’t seem to be helping.

“You’re fidgeting,” Heath said from the driver’s seat. “There’s no reason to worry. You’ll like Tiffany.”

She didn’t like that he could read her that easily. “I’m not worried.”

He smiled without looking at her. “If you say so.”

It was just... “She’s younger than you, right?”

“Yes.”

Yes? He didn’t want to elaborate? “Like by how much?”

“You’ll be fine,” he told her. “Tiffany’s a nonissue, and the kids are going to love you.”

Right, the children. They were the main reason she and Heath were heading over to his ex’s house.

“You told them about spending Christmas up at the cabin. Were they excited?”

Heath glanced at her. “They’re a little concerned about being in a strange place and not knowing anyone.”

“That makes sense. Plus, they don’t know me. You want to make sure they each bring something from home, like a stuffed animal or a special blanket.”

She had more to say on the subject but just then Heath turned into the driveway of a traditional two-story house. The neighborhood was relatively new in a planned community. The houses were all variations on a theme—probably around twenty-eight hundred square feet with a fenced-in backyard.

She opened her door and stepped out into the light, misty rain. Heath joined her and took her hand.

“You’ll do fine.”

“They’re going to think I’m your mother.”

He laughed at that. “Sorry, not even close.”

The front door opened before he got there and an eight-year-old boy raced toward them, a large, long-haired dog at his heels.

“Dad! Dad!”

Heath crouched and grabbed his son, then swung him in the air. “Hey, Wyatt.”

Julie had a brief impression of reddish-brown hair and big eyes. A slightly older girl stood in the doorway, glancing between her and Heath.

He rested Wyatt on one hip before hugging his daughter and petting the dog. Then he smiled at Julie.

“These are my kids. Madeline, Wyatt, this is my girlfriend, Julie.”

Girlfriend? He’d never actually called her that before, and she’d only ever said the b word in her head, never aloud. They weren’t in high school.

“And this is Rufus.”

“Hi,” she said cheerfully, telling herself to deal with the problem at hand. There would be plenty of time to freak later if she felt the need. “I’m happy to finally meet you.”

She offered Rufus her hand to sniff. He gave her a quick once-over, then offered a lick of greeting.

Madeline, pretty and slight, studied her. “You’re dating my dad.”

“I am.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Because you didn’t need to.” Heath ushered everyone into the house. “Madeline likes to get in people’s business.”

Julie grinned at her. “I can respect that.”

Wyatt ran to the stairs. “Mom!” he shouted. “They’re here.”

The house was messy but welcoming, done in warm colors. Backpacks sat open on the entry table, and there were dinner dishes on the island. Julie fought against an instinctive need to start straightening.

“I’m coming,” a woman called as she started down the stairs. She stepped into the entryway.

Julie told herself not to react, but it was difficult not to gawk at the attractive redhead smiling at her.

Tiffany was young—really young. Like Dana young. Julie told herself not to do the math in her head, but it was hard not to think that Heath’s ex-wife was about twenty years younger than she was. Her skin had that I’m barely thirty glow. She was fit, with giant boobs and a perky smile.

“Finally,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Tiffany.”

“Julie.”

She pulled her kids close and hugged them. “You sure about taking on these two for the holidays? They can be a handful.”

“Mom!” Madeline stepped away. “We’re not a handful.”

Everyone went into the family room and found seats on the large sectional. Heath stayed close, which Julie appreciated. Rufus settled on his dog bed and started chewing on a toy.

“The kids will be fine,” Heath told his ex-wife. “Julie says the cabin has a lot for them to do.”

“It does.” Julie smiled at the children. “We have fun traditions, including going into the forest and picking out a giant tree.”

“Are there bears?” Madeline asked, looking more apprehensive than intrigued.

“They hibernate in the winter.”

“What if we get snowed in?” Wyatt grinned at the prospect. “We could starve to death.”

“Unlikely. I keep a plow attachment in the garage. It hooks up to my SUV, so I can take care of any snow we get.”

Wyatt’s eyes widened. “You drive a snowplow?”

“Yes.”

“Can I do that?”

She laughed. “No, but you can come with me.”

“He’d love that.” Tiffany looked at Julie. “Heath said you have a couple of kids of your own.”

Julie did her best not to flinch. “They’re a little older.” A lot older. She smiled brightly. “You’re going to the Bahamas. That will be fun.”

“I’m really excited. Ryan got us a room on the beach.”

Ryan?

“The boyfriend,” Heath explained.

Madeline and Wyatt exchanged an uneasy glance. Julie guessed they weren’t thrilled about the change in plans.

“Do you like decorating Christmas trees?” she asked them.

Wyatt nodded vigorously. “We do.”

“Good, because we have to decorate that giant tree I mentioned. We also bake cookies and have s’mores. I checked the weather and there’s plenty of snow on the mountain, so we can go sledding or ride inner tubes. There’s a bedroom with two sets of bunk beds, so you can each be on top and Rufus can sleep on a bottom bunk.”

“I’ve never slept in a bunk bed,” Madeline admitted. “That could be fun.” She looked at Heath. “You’ll be there the whole time?”

“Yes, with you and Wyatt and Rufus.”

The kids exchanged another look.

“I guess it will be okay,” Madeline conceded, not sounding too enthused.

“I know staying at the cabin isn’t what you expected, but I think you’ll have a good time,” Julie told them.

“You’re going up on the seventeenth?” Tiffany asked.

“Julie and I are going the weekend before to start decorating, but I’ll come back and get the kids.”

“That’s perfect. Ryan and I leave two days later.” Tiffany beamed at everyone. “So it’s settled.”

They all talked for a few more minutes. Then Heath and Julie left. When they were back in his SUV, she waited until they were on the road to say, “The kids are a little nervous about the holidays.”

“They don’t know anyone. They’ll get comfortable quickly.”

Julie hoped that was true. “I wish we had kids their age in the area, but all the neighbors are my age or older, so their children are grown and any grandkids are babies.”

“You worry too much. Everyone is going to help them fit in and have fun, so they’ll spend the holiday being spoiled.”

She smiled. “That’s probably true.” She paused. “Tiffany seems nice.”

“She’s enthused about her trip.”

“I got that. So she’s what? Thirty? Thirty-one?”

“Thirty-two.” He glanced at her. “You’re obsessed with age.”

“Not usually.” Thirty-two? So younger than Nick but older than Dana? Ugh. “She must have been what? Twenty when you got married.”

“Just about.” He glanced at her before turning his attention back to the road. “She wasn’t ready to be married. She wanted to be a mom, but the whole husband-wife thing was too much for her. She was never happy.”

“She’s ten years younger, I’m older than you. What do you have against women your own age?”

“Obsessed,” he said lightly.

“You’re not answering the question.”

“I like who I like.” He shrugged. “I love my kids, but marrying Tiffany was a mistake. I was coming off a bad breakup and wondering if I would ever have the family I wanted. I met her and she was so enthused about being a mom and falling in love. She was an easy choice but not the right one for me.”

“Still, you have Madeline and Wyatt.”

“I’m grateful for them every day.” He stopped at a red light and turned to her. “You okay with all this? The kids and I can still go to a hotel.”

“Not happening. We’re all going to the cabin and we’ll have a great time. Even Rufus.”

She meant that. She didn’t have a problem with Heath’s children coming along. It was more the visual proof of the fact that they were at different stages of their lives. She wanted that not to matter, but she knew in her gut that it did.

“You’re the most annoying person on the planet,” Huxley said, his eyes narrowed. “You do this every year. How long have I worked for you?”

“You were here before I took over the business.”

“You’re right. I was, which means I probably know how to do my job.” His tone was pointed. “This is not the first time you’ll be gone for a few days and it’s not the last. The company has yet to fall apart without you here to guide it, so stop micromanaging me or I swear, I’m going to quit.”

She grinned. “You threaten that a lot.”

“Only when I’m dealing with you.”

Nick walked into the office. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Julie called.

“Run,” Huxley told him. “Run now. Save yourself.”

Nick laughed. “Mom, stop torturing Huxley. He’s a good guy.” He walked to the old-fashioned time clock and picked up his card. After punching out, he moved next to her.

“Blair wants to know what we should bring to the cabin. I’ve told her you don’t trust anyone enough to give them a list, but she’s determined to contribute.”

“I’ll keep her plenty busy when you get there,” Julie told him. “We’ll have baking and decorating. Plus the cookies for the exchange. Although her main job will be to keep you and Dana from fighting.”

“We don’t fight.”

“You argue like two old hens.”

“Hens argue?”

Huxley pointed to his computer. “Unlike you people, I still have work to do. Leave me be.”

They walked into her office. Julie closed the door and faced her son.

“There are a few things she can bring for me,” she said. “I’ll email her a list tonight.”

“That will make her happy. Thanks.”

He was about to leave, but she called him back.

“Nick, I’ve given you plenty of time to think about your future. I need you to make a decision about coming on board with me.”

He looked at her. “I promised we’d talk after the first and I meant it.”

She wanted to believe him, she thought. She mostly did.

“Then that’s what we’ll do, but I have to tell you, I don’t understand you. This is what you’ve always wanted. Are you changing your mind?”

“No, of course not.” He looked away. “What I meant is... Sometimes I think about...” He shook his head. “No. We’re doing this after the holidays. Not before.”

She didn’t like the sound of that. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing,” he said, without meeting her gaze. “It’s all good.”

Was it? She couldn’t tell. Her guess was he was keeping something from her—she just didn’t know what. But he was right—they shouldn’t get into it now.

“You should go home to Blair,” she said. “We’ll talk after the first.”

“For sure.” He made a beeline for the door. “Have a good night.”

She was about to say she would when Axel stepped into the office. Her smile instantly faded.

He handed her a folder. “Three new ones.”

“It’s been a busy month.”

“People have other things to spend their money on.”

She scanned the repo list and handed it back to him. “What are you doing for the holidays?”

“I’ll be working.”

“If you weren’t such an asshole, you could be with my daughter and the rest of us up at the cabin.”

She spoke impulsively, then had to deal with the fact that she’d just crossed the line, but before she could apologize, he spoke.

“You’re right. It’s all on me.”

“I don’t want to be right. I want—” Her wants didn’t matter, she reminded herself. And this wasn’t her business. Still, Dana was her daughter.

“I hate that you hurt her, and don’t you say ‘me, too.’ You’re the one doing it.”

“I am. Like you said, I’m an asshole.” He waved the folder. “I’ll get on these.”

With that, he left. Julie watched him go and, once again, when he was out of earshot, murmured, “Don’t get dead.”