One Enchanted Summer

Chapter 21

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

Grayson

I’m nervous as I walk onto the set for the first time. I’m pretty good at the whole confident persona thing but I actually struggle with insecurity. I think a lot of it stems from the job. With a typical desk job, I don’t think I’d have the same worries about not being good enough. Partly because I probably wouldn’t care if I happened to lose the job but also because it’s not as physically tasking or focused on the importance of my visual appearance. I work hard to maintain my body and my physical skills. I’m honestly terrified of what would happen if I let myself relax a little or, god forbid, if something happened to me. I can’t help but think that I need to be the best and look the best. It’s all a part of the job. It’s created an innate sense of needing to prove myself constantly. But I’m eager to learn and want to be taught, so I try desperately to ignore the voice telling me I’m not good enough to be here.

The set is perfectly organized chaos. People are running around and yelling instructions. Someone is always looking for someone else, and I’m awkwardly standing in the middle waiting to be told what to do. I’m ushered off to the side to be fitted into a few different costumes. As they dress me, the stunt coordinator begins talking to me about the first scene of the day.

“We’re starting you off easy since we haven’t gone over the steps and practiced for the bigger scenes,” he explains. “Today is a simple fight scene. You’ll dodge a hit, take a hit, and then get pushed out of a window.”

I can’t stop myself from grinning. I’m going to get thrown out of a window today just for fun. Actually, more than for fun. I’m going to get paid to be thrown out of a window.

“Sounds perfect,” I reply.

I make my way to the fake building on the lot and introduce myself to my co-star. He’s an actor, not a stuntman. I guess since he’s not going out the window he can do this scene himself. He quickly shows me the blocking and we run through the scenes while the camera and sound crew get set up.

When they yell “action” my blood is pumping and I’m filled with adrenaline. I dodge a punch, throw a punch, and then he grabs my shirt and pushes me towards the window. I move my feet backward with him so that it’s a smooth push. It’s an easy break window and not even real glass but I can feel my body tensing as we get closer. I’m grateful that they are filming this in a way that doesn’t show my face because I don’t know if I could control the emotion on it. It’s part excitement, part fear as I feel the window getting closer. I have to focus to relax my muscles as he pushes me hard and I fly back through the window. It breaks easily around me and I exaggeratedly move my arms as if trying desperately to hold on to something. My stomach drops as I fall backwards, and the air rushes around me. I fall fast and land safely on the giant, inflated airbag as the crew bursts into applause.

I did it. I just completed my first movie stunt.

And then I had to do it five more times.

We spent the rest of the day practicing blocking for the upcoming scenes.

Despite being exhausted after working on the movie, I had to go straight to the pirate show last night. I’m dragging this morning. I realize it’s unprofessional and I push through because I don’t want to be the type of guy I hate working with. But I feel like absolute trash at the end of the day. I collapse on the couch and almost instantly fall asleep.

The schedule continues like this for the next week. I take off a few nights of pirates but I’m still so exhausted that I don’t feel like I have time for anything. I haven’t seen Quinn in five days. I know I need to explain how stressed I am, but that means having the mental energy to talk to her, and I don’t even have that right now.

Filming is going to take more time than I thought it would. Even if I’m not in a scene they still want me there to practice. I understand that I’m new and I’m just grateful for the opportunity so I’ll never complain. But I still need to be working the WOE show to hit my minimum hours. They’ve been patient and flexible with me, but it’s still a job that I need to be there for. I can feel the weight of all of it. It gets heavier every day. I have to show up for the WOE show and be a leader. I have to show up on set and prove that they made the right choice and that I’m capable of doing this. I have to prove myself every second of being on set. And then there’s the pressure of being Quinn’s boyfriend. That shouldn’t be a pressure, but I know I’m letting her down and I feel horrible about it. I need to muster up the energy to be better for her.

A knock sounds on my door at 7:00 and jolts me awake. I look over at the time and realize I must have fallen asleep again after work. Another knock comes, louder this time, as I stand up and walk to the door. I pull it open and see Quinn standing in the doorway holding up a bag of takeout, and seeing her floods me with happiness. It’s an instant relief from the chaos that my life has become. She looks gorgeous in jean shorts and a simple t-shirt. Her hair is pulled up into a bun and she looks so perfectly cozy that I want to pull her into my arms and never let go.

“Thought you might be hungry,” she says with a smile.

“I’m so happy to see you,” I reply, pulling her inside.

Her face lights up in what seems like surprise. “Really? I was starting to worry that you didn’t want to see me.”

I spot the unease in her now and realize how she must have been feeling with my distance this week.

“I’m sorry Q, it’s been so busy with work. I know I’ve already said that and it sounds like I’m just trying to justify my behavior, but I’m just working a ton,” I try to explain but it sounds like a poor excuse even to me. Yet, somehow she smiles and I know she means it.

“I get it,” she says, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. And I know she does. I can’t even explain how much my feelings grew for her in that moment of understanding and compassion.